3 Lovestories- MinKyuAegyoPrincess-pick-up
3 Lovestories- MinKyuAegyoPrincess
Reviewer’s Note: I’ve take up measure and be warned for mild criticism.
Title (8/10): The title is okay since it revolves around the 3 persons and their love lives. Your title isn’t really that eye-catching but it does perk my interest up. It gives me the questions who or what. The title could have been better like ‘Healing Pain’ or ‘Amity Love’ but yours is fine :)
Design (7/10): Since you don’t have a poster or background, I won’t judge you in that but in your writings style. I liked your style, but it’s common. But I guess it’s okay since it’s your first fanfiction. Just be a bit more descriptive on how they act and not rely on dialogue alone because it’ll be bland and the readers will lose interest.
Mechanics [Spelling, Grammar, Structures] (9/15): okay…so I don’t know what to say. But I’m going to be frank. I’ve found a lot of errors.
- Spelling
- Grammar
- Syntax
- Capitalization
- Punctuations
- Emphasize
- Structure
- Tenses
Yep. Those. I’ve made a soft copy of the description and ‘fixed it up the spellings’ w/o your permission. Sorry.
Suggestion: Microsoft Word for Spelling and Beta-reader for the others.
Plot (11/20): Frank? Yep. Cliché. Really. It’s the typical Friendship-Stranger-Love-Romance-After-Break-up-from-Ex. The story mostly revolves around the 3 Love stories, right? I just hope you create a plot twist.
Suggestion: Be more descriptive and don’t rush. Maintain pace and don’t stick to cliché stuffs. Create a twist.
Characters (11/15): The characters are a bit…vague? No, it’s not vague but confusing. There introduction was fine, but I can’t see how they develop in the story or was it because it’s still few? No, it’s not that. It’s really just connected with the flow. Their flow of actions is fast in the plot and is very confusing a bit. And you gave out a lot of the plot just by their description. You could have cancelled out the hints that gave out your plot. Try to maintain who they are and create more scenes about them and how they will develop in those scenes.
Flow (6/10): The flow, frankly, is fast. Really fast. It took me 20 minutes to digest in the whole information. The pacing is fast and I don’t what is what. I caught up though…a bit. Maintain the pacing by creating more descriptive scenes that’ll make the readers attract more to the story and make a plot twist.
Overall Enjoyment (8/10): I’ve really enjoyed the story. Don’t worry. Despite all, I really enjoyed the story even though it has a few chapters. Just keep up the good work and patch up things up :)
Ending (/10):
Overall: (60/90)=68%
Extra Comments: Please don’t be disheartened with your score and I hope you’ll be okay with my review. Thank you for requesting and hope you’ll come back again ^^
Soft Copy:
Foreword
Kim TaeYeon
A sweet, nice and dorky best friend of Sunny and Donghae. She is rich because her parents own a big company, but she doesn't have the attitude of a brat like others would have. She thought that she will never fall in love again because when her boyfriend cheated on her and left her. Will she find someone and fall in love again?
Lee Soonkyu/Sunny
A sweet and caring little step sister of Jungsu. They came from a rich family. She is best friends with Taeyeon and Donghae. She never fell in love before. What will happen to her when she fall in love with the School Player for the first time? Will she be hurt?
Hwang MiYoung/Tiffany
The most nice, caring, rich girl in the circle of friends and has an eye-smile best friend named Jungsu/Leeteuk. They were best friends since Elementary. She had feelings for his best friend. It was hard for her to confess because she doesn't want their Friendship to end. Will Tiffany find someone? Or will she still have feelings for her best friend?
Park Jungsu/Leeteuk
The step-brother of Soonkyu/Sunny. He is one of the school heartthrobs, but he is not a player. Best friends with MiYoung, She doesn't know that MiYoung has feelings for him. Will he be blinded by Friendship? Or will he end his friendship with MiYoung?
Lee Donghae
The best friend of Sunny and Taeyeon. The one who captured the heart of MiYoung and same with her; MiYoung captured his heart. Donghae will do anything to make him and Tiffany to be closer. Will Tiffany feel the same way?
Lee Sungmin
The School Player. He fell in love with Sunny, He will change from player to a good guy just to make Sunny feel the same way. Besides being a player he has Music talent, He played the guitar. And every girl falls in love with him. Will he really change for love?
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