Feeling sick. And anxious again, with my stomach churning.

I don't really know what's causing it... Talking to the english department head, or the assignment due on wednesday, or the choice of going to this museum trip or not...

Technically, it doesn't even matter. I could sludge through that semester of English. So it don't really undersatnd where this is stemming from.

Or maybe it's the assignments/projects that have been starting to pick up now.

But if I think about it, the work load isn't even all that bad but I'm still stressing.

I was headache free yesterday, but not today.

And I woke up without the alarm again. Like, 5 minutes before it went off.

It's been a big help to just, not think and try to focus on now, but I'm starting to feel uneasy that this procrastination is going to bite me in the later on. 

AUGH.

I was feeling a little confident before, but now I feel... Small. I thought it had gotten a little better, but that feeling of growing anxiety is starting to come at me again and now I'm worried all over again about how fast I would crumble if I went to university. 

Or maybe this sadness and anxiety has become such a strong part of me that I feel a little empty without it; that if I go too long without it, it feels like something's wrong. Which is a little distorted in itself.

On a side note, I've been trying to set up a whole network of social...networks (haha), such as twitter, tumblr, instagram. I kind of want to create an identity and be a whole lot more active and use that as my hobby...? Does that seem right? ;;;;; Anyways. still under construction...

I don't want to go to school.

I don't even feel like I'm mentally here right now.

...*cries*... (not literally this time)

At least it's raining. It was so sunny and beautiful outside yesterday, it hurt. How can anything be so nice when I'm still so ty? 

Off to english class I go. Then to talk to the english department head. Then I'll probaby come home and not go on the museum field trip. Do my assignment. Then I'll go to yoga class with G and not to live drawing. Yeaup.

That's how it'll go.........I think.