10 years
So....yeasss, even though i was aware of it...in the end i missed the day and i end up dragging the writing until it's like almost a week late20days late...lol. the weird thing is...in pc, my anniversary date is 4th but in AFF app, it's 5th. so....whichever....i got proof shots on D-Day. so i actually started writing this post on that day...i just.....procrastinated and dragged this....
Happy 10th Anniversary to me!!! <3
Even though, many of the years were spent with me dropping in once in awhile and no longer writing or reading much...even if i tried.
Of course we need my resident bday song...
Even if it's not exactly a birthday....i guess, it counts as one sort of yes?
Before i continue indulging about mememe...
let's talk a bit about the song....when i discovered the song...i liked it so naturally i made some background research...and found that it's a remake
^ the original, by pretty much the same band but with different name...and one different member...i think i might even love this version more than Happy Birthday To Me....i like the male vocalist....he added nice layer to the female vocalist even with just tiny part....while the newer version(which is still probly over a decade ago? lol) lacked that with two female vocalists that don't sound too different from each other.
Honestly i can talk more about Garina Project because even though i hardly know them....i loved their stuffs that i found, and i'm always passionate about things i love...but since today's post is about mememe....let's talk about them for another day....if ever again(since i'm sure i've talked about them....many years ago...lol)
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ok...me time...
so....how do i celebrate myself on this oh so special day (belated)...? xD
honestly...idk....all initial ideas and plans escaped me...
when i go to my profile page....i can only see my fics that i listed...
so i guesss....maybe i'll just talk about them...even though...in all honesty...i don't think i even want a new reader at this point...except for a few fics that i feel worthy...i'm lazy to edit or perfect my old fics...but i'm also insecure about them lol...so...forgive me that i'm gonna put subscriber only for all fics mentioned in this post...because the idea of someone reading my writing from start to end and then leave after silently judging how their time was wasted made me feel more bothered....at least i'd like to know the people who decided to read my stuffs to the end...even if i doubt there would and should be any since these aren't even new stuffs or with current idols...so what are the chances? lol. 0.
Anyway....
Since it's my 10th Anniversary....i'll try my best to list out my own 10 works in AFF that I would actually recommend...
bear with me since these are old stuffs....
Wait....why not another bgm....
because Jurina is LOVE!!!! T^T...for her entire career from the start at 11 years old until end....she had been hated so much...but no amount of hate could change her legacy, her strength and love and courage and spirit and passion, the fact that she's a legend their favs probly could never...unless their favs were the top members of the early AKB gens...even those members were legendary because they're set to be the popular members...which Jurina was, too...getting center in the main group that's not hers from the beginning....setting her up for endless hates from other popular members' fans....yet...you could see how well she grew under all the toxic, she manage to absorb all the positivity and became stronger and spread her strength and love to others...some people were probly just mad that for all the years and amount of hate they tirelessly thrown at her....she still thrived.
even her graduation concert look was unique, mature and elegant and not typical.
ok enough of Jurina....well, maybe not...but i'll talk about her again another day....this is time for memememe....
In no particular order...
1. Mr. Romantic & Miss Popular
i mean...it's my most popular fic...which of course is incomparable with the level of what you may consider popular...but just among my fics that were all never meant to be 'thaaat' popular....this is considered popular enough for me. I had fun writing it because my readers were so engaging and inspired me so much, imagine almost 30 chapters finished in about 2 months from someone who almost never manage to finish the majority of her works...all thanks to my readers for always playing along when i played guessing games with them n they entertained me so much that i was motivated just to see how they will react at the surprises i'd shower them with....also, i would only recommend this to those who have some background knowledge on The Romantic And Idol show that was aired in....2013 i think...because this fic supposedly tells about what happen behind what we see on the show...and also the continuation episodes that were filmed but unaired because the producers decided to made it short and sweet for fans...i mean....yeah, that's the fictional part...but i also combined n blended it with things that actually happened on the show...i do believe that my story was even better than the show...in some aspects....of course...that might sound cocky of me...but for those who weren't fans of what happened and couples formed....they might have agreed with me....of course, then i ruined people's expectations with the ending....which i think was fitting but my readers had different expectations understandbly so since i kinda led them on....so yeah....anyway, yeah...i'm quite proud of how eventful it was...if anything...it lacked depth in characterization n feelings of the main female character...because i need to keep her feelings a mystery or it'd be predictable....xD...also, i made the villain characters to have their redemption arc so to say or rather, the reasoning for their actions/behavior to maked their characters layered...because i hate making one dimentional characters even though other writers i've encountered on this site back then often wrote my girls as one dimentional biatch that tried to seduce their oppar from their OCs....
If i could change something about it....perhaps....the ending. i already have my own prefered ending, the ship i shipped....it just felt like it wouldn't deliver what i wanted to deliver....so i didn't go through with it....maybe i should've done that just to indulge myself....and of course my all over the place grammar...and lack of proofreading before posting...
Some random facts: I am recently rereading this fic and boy i had a lotttttt of grammatical mistakes...i mean, i'm still far from good...but back then i guess....either i was worse or i just couldn't be bothered to proofread too many times. and i still mostly just let them as they're. and my grammar and english still is faaarrr from good anyway. so....yeah. and I didn't think i had admitted this to my readers...but at first the male lead was supposed to be Hyungsik like it hinted that he's the one who wanted to be romantic so naturally he's 1/2 of the titular character, while the main female wanted to be popular. because i love Rainbow and ZE:A so naturally i'd want to just focus on them. but i like to confuse people so i threw a bunch other guys to confuse yall. and Hyungsik on the show wasn't exactly doing anything that would help inspire me....and anyone who know me knows there's no chance i'd let my girl end up with that jerk JB. but because while writing, i was also watching the show....i just fell for Mir, i honestly think he's a good guy...and that's why i made his character grow to become so damn lovable from the annoying hateable one at the beginning....because on the show...when they're not coupled, i could see that he's the one who actually cared for SeungA...T^T...i mean, they're friends afterall. but he just always acted so mean when they're paired. and i was super tempted to make him the one to end up with SeungA but i feel that that would take away the amount of spotlight i wanted to give SeungA and turn it into a regular romance fic, also, and if you don't believe me about how he was on the show...the side that wasn't really noticed....
to see compilation of SeungA-Mir parts and some moments that showed that he might have liked her more than he realized/let on(though their moments from the show started at around 06:45), and i still remember on the show...when SeungA casually said that she n JB forfeited their mission....Mir's reaction was captured and he looked shooked in a pissed off way. yknow....others looked like they're just 'really?'......many things you might think fictional were drawn from what i learnt of the casts...like Jihyun's ex was something i read in some insider blind items at some site many years ago....and no from what i read, it's not FT Island guy. of course some things were totally fictional like the sad backstory for JB even though he didn't deserve one lol. and like when i made Hyungsik mentioned Kevin during the scene where he wanted to try cook...it's because Kevin is their main cook. and i just learnt this afterward...but what Hyungsik said about him making his personality to be what people expected of him was how Siwan described himself when he was an idol in some show....also, SeungA and Jihyun dynamics were also drawn from some spitefulnasty things i had caught Jihyun saying casually on the show that people probly just see as joke....and how SeungA responded to it....i just looooveee mixing reality and fiction to the point people won't be able to tell what's real and what's not. xD...it's fun. and some of the best compliments i had gotten on that fic was when they played guessing games with me and choosing the most unlikely answer because they think i'm unpredictable. xD....ad those who chose that were mostly right...since i am actualy predictable in that sense. Also, when they say i made them love a character they previously hated. xD. yay. of course, i do think people who hate endings that are not 'and they live happily ever after' might want to avoid all my fics...i mean, of course some do have 'em....but yknow...
It's a malay fic, the title translated as 'Not Alone' (honestly i hate Malay fics that use English titles like what even is the point of it? to trick english readers to come only to see they don't know what is going on? or cuz it look cool? idk...it looks cringe to me...but yeah you do you i guess, it's not in my place to judge since i also at times used some Hangul in my title when it's not in Korean..) which was inspired from the song Not Alone by Park Jungmin...the fic had all the random unpopular/unmainstream/unknown/untrendy idols gathered as characters...at least if we're basing it on AFF standard....some of them were not completely unknown...i bet most people don't know the main characters though.. anyway....it's probably my strongest fic. it's nothing revolutionary...the message is rather straightforward and felt very....preachy? or rather 'moral of the story'? kinda vibes... but surprisingly i found it...very tightly delivered without feeling pretentious...well, that's what i feel, different people could feel different things....if this was a school essay i'd give myself an A++ for this...lol.
If i could change anything about it.....nothing, it's perfect. I feel like if i touch it....even if i tried translating it to English...it might ruin the essence...i guess i am the best at my own language afterall...it's something i do have a lot of pride in.
3. One to Want : Countdown to Escape
Rather than fanfic...it's more like....drables....that i wrote with the concept....one story a day, every story's length of creation lasted for as long as one song i randomly shuffled went. so the drabbles were very short...but reading back...i felt like they're probably some of my most creative works. Also, some of the most personal pieces can be found in some of the drabbles....this was the time i was having some difficult time and needed some distraction or just to blow off steam or something...
If i could change anything about it...i mean...they're all written in less than five minutes....not things i'm supposed to dwell on. Whenever i reread the stories...i'm even amazed i wrote some of those things...not because they're amazing....i guess because....finding out even i have some diversity...is quite amazing and coming up with some crazy ideas as well as writing them within less than five minutes...even though many of the drabbles felt like diary entries too...
4. Pieces of a Shattered Heart
This is a poem compilation, yes another non fanfic...because i guess i'm more confident in my non fanfics...and yeah i'm in the wrong site but oh well whatever....i'm no artist/poet...but i do have passion and inspiration...and i also had interest in studying the forms of poetry...and this compilation kinda became my playground to practice the forms i learnt paired with my inspirations...
If i could change anything about it...i mean....how do i reasses my poems? i guess....if i am to change something....write better poems?
And this is a compilation of songs i translated....i know...it's annoying that i'm posting all these under the fanfic category...i just like this site that much. i used to post it all in my blog...but when i kept getting bot views or sth...i got freaked out and decided to just closed my blog and bring everything here since i like this site so much...you should check this out if you're tired of the usual same ol popular trendy kpop you listen to....for sure there would be some refreshing gems. but if you infact love those popular trendy stuffs....maybe you can pass on this...the concept of my choice of songs to translate is....songs that have not been translated yet...if i love a song but someone else in some site already did the translation...i won't waste my time and effort doing same thing again....which is why i'm annoyed that popular stuffs would have like people doing same translating/subbing work over n over n over...even when the outcome is just the same...
If i could change anything about it....umm...post more songs? Afterall, this is the one 'fic' i'm still actively updating sort of...whenever i complete a new translation/subs work for a song i love...
Well, i'd say this is more recommended for those who want to get to know ZE:A from my fictional point of views of each member...but it's 2021....who still even know them besides old folks who had been fan since back then like me? or new fans of individual members who are popular....so yeah....i wrote this story when Siwan started getting his taste of fame and my imagination of how it would change him and the group's dynamics...(Hyungsik became popular later so at the time of this fic...Siwan was the main conflict) anyway, the chapters were based on each song from the Spectacular album and was told from each member's perspectvies.
If i could change anything about it...i might have stick to my original plan to make it darker and possibly more realistic than how it turned out, though my readers seemed satisfied....i mean, for me...the title itself was a setup for a more tragic ending...but as i wrote the fic...all the conflict and emotional turmoil of the members were exhausting to imagine and wrote...this was the one fic that i stopped writing for a year before a comment i received got me back on track...until i actually completed it. i would never forget my thankfulness towards that one reader who changed everything, who made a fic that could've just been abandoned completed.
An incomplete compilation of oneshots but who cares? they're oneshot so in a way they're complete....it's just that i planned for nine fics but only manage to post five before i lost concentration n inspiration...might i say one of my better writings? even though they're not all that so no expectations pls thanks. lol, The concept of the oneshots in this compilation were divided into two. Heartwarming stories, and disturbing stories. isn't it a great combination to help you sleep? xD
If i could change anything about it...complete the remaining stories but yeah...does it matter?
8. INNOCENT
Another oneshot compilation that was incomplete. except that this was meant to be a chained oneshots where the stories would somehow be connected to each other in some ways...but of course that was never revealed since i never manage to complete....it's just supposed to be 7 since the group has seven members but i only did up to two. nevertheless....probably one of my better works with strong vision of where they're heading though they never got there. and one of my darker/mysterious works i guess....i guess one of my fics with quite some ambitions...the characters are all supposed to end up being connected by their life stories and where they ended up. Each oneshot was based on each song from Rainbow's album you guessed it, Innocent (love this album!! ><) But now looking back...i wonder how i would do it since there were six songs from the album...and seven members....probably one would get just 'Innocent' as the title/concept.
If i could change anything about it...same as the fic above. and btw, let me give yall a spoiler i never gave my readers...they guessed which story is about which member....and so far...the few guesses i got were all wrong xD...i don't want to reveal the answers cuz...who knows if one day i decide to continue writing the other members' stories...i'd want people playing guessing games with me...xD
9. Floral Rain
A fanfic i actually enjoyed writing and had strong connections/feelings for. but somehow with passing time, one that also made me uneasy. If i ever wrote one romance fic fully head on without masking it with other plots...this was it. well, thinking back, maybe my first fic on this site was like that too....but there were other plots so yeah, i do write other romance fics here n there but...it's this one that was fully focused on two characters and the feelings of one of them since this was written from his pov. This fic was heavily influenced by the array of amazing songs do yourselves a favour and check out those amazing songs in the playlist. of course the main inspiration was the song titled Floral Rain. so you see where my unoriginal self got my title from lol.
If i could change anything about it...well, we need to talk about this. this fic had the biggest change from my original plan. the original plan wasn't even to make this a romance fic. it's supposed to be more ambiguous....in a romantic or not? way....i just find that more romantic than going directly romance territory...the story was supposed to be more of a wholesome pure friendship but with question mark ambiguous vague romantic vibes that we're supposed to get from the narrating character and the second character's feelings should be concealed even more than the end product here...so that the revelation and the ending would be even more tragic...i love me tragedies lol. people don't consider this fic to have happy ending i suppose but trust me when i say it's supposed to be worse. i feel like sometimes even i sway and went the fanservice way with fics like this, and the ones i mentioned previously. i only manage to stay true to my plans when it's oneshots...maybe that's why my oneshots somehow turned out....a little better? sincere? genuine? me?
10. Love Song in May & Juliet of July
This was a weird project indeed. it started as a random story on its own while I was bored and obsessed with a song but then i thought i could make it as a part of longer series, which knowing me...of course it was incompleted, it was supposed to be my monthly series, and hence why i'm putting two titles togerther. i was surprised i even had a few readers. The fic didn't have any idols/celebrities directly. They're all OCs but some were heavily based on real celebrities like the female lead...i was looking for a 30-40 yrs old to based her character on, and i just randomly thought of Choi Jiwoo(i'm not even her fan lol...like i said...randomness)...and that's how her name became Hong Jiwoo(since i still wanted to make her an OC and later on she had a celeb sister of the same surname)....of course she's supposed to be a little less attractive than her sister...and even though i will admit the title of the fic was inspired by my obsession with Park Jungmin's song Your Color (if you noticed, i included two links, one for the single version and the other, live stage because i love how rock the live one was ><) which was used as ost in a Japanese drama Love Song in August(see where my title came from....how unoriginal lol) where even the dynamics of the main characters were similar to my story....which is an older woman younger guy(but in the drama the woman was married n the guy was a star)....but i will say the male lead in this fic was not specifically drafted based on any particular male idol...maybe some aspect, i imagined certain idols' characteristics but of course i ran with it and made this guy his own character n hence he's also an OC though afterwards after having read random mangas, watching some animes and playing games, i could see it when some readers said the May guy sounded like an anime character, but at the time i wrote it...there's no such influence...btw, since this was supposed to be my monthly project series...the story actually had continuation...all with month names in the title...and with different selection of characters except for the female lead and some male leads appeared in more than one month naturally. i think i stopped at October. But personally, these two parts are special for me, because first part was the beginning...and probably the most loved by my few readers, and the July one...i personally love it for July girl character who's dreamy in a morbid or the other way round. Also, Juliet of July and mainly July's romanticism of death and her dreamy nature were highly inspired by Romeo & Juliet by Clazziquai (the perf i shared here was soooooo ughhfdhfbdfj)
If i could change anything about it...a lot of things actually. i've just been rereading this fic and i felt like i made the guy wayyy too mysterious and some of the things he said made no sense or was supposed to be setup for greater revelation which didn't end well afterall....i wished i had not been that ambitious and just kept this story just mystery romance which i felt might have drawn some readers unexpectedly....honestly seeing my all OC casts....i didn't expect i'd have even one reader...with exception of my aff friends who would check out my new stuffs. i would not make him say that she knew him and she just forgot because that's asking for some explanation. i wonder if i could somehow revamp this story to make it into a short simple and sweet yet maintaining the mysterious and bizzareness of the male lead. Actually...now i've been listening to some songs and i'm kinda inspired to revamp this whole series thingy and just make one complete story of everything....maybe in the process eliminating the monthly characters to just focus on the few relevant ones. or maybe not...but just make it cohesive...
Extra info, the July girl/aka Juliet was based on Rainbow's Kim Jaekyung...i left some hints in there....but not sure how many picked it up....the June guy/Jerry was based on a solo singer/band frontman of Moonband(and i can't believe he's supposed to be one of the female lead's suitors but i married him to someone else just because i thought there'd still be a few other guys yet to be introduced and yeah he's too perfect and dreamy that i started to lost ideas with him....indeed like a reader mentioned, he had too strong of typical second lead vibe and sadly that's where he went, so i got rid of him. those were some of the revelations i think i never confirmed with my readers...as for May guy...let's keep him as fictional, since he's a lil too crazy to be real...though he might had been initially drafted based on some idols....he developed to be more like an anime character indeed, unintentionally xD...
11. 천년가도 (Even If A Thousand Years Pass) (waiittt....11?,it's supposed to be just 10....ugh...who cares,....xD)
This was a very, i mean VERY...experimental and ambitious work. it was incomplete. so idk if it's right to recommend it...but it tells a story in poem form using the two main character's povs in alternate chapters. if you're not deep into poetry...or if you're not me, it's easy to get lost. simply because i wrote it, so surely i'd understand lol. the constraint of words, and rhyming constraints made this very....i guess....in a way, unusual? and for my lack of skills,...confusing. but it was fun. even though this was another abandoned work....and you might have guessed, it was inspired by the song Jungmin & Hyungjun had a duet on with the same title. the song was meant to be a drama ost but never released...they were wronged.by the drama production. later on Jungmin released it solo in both Korean and Japanese. check out the duet perf guys, they're sooo good at live. and as you can see, Jungmin's songs inspired a lot of my fics even the ones not included in this list. he just has great music taste for me.
If i could change anything about it...well, complete it of course, duh. but i don't know if i could anymore...
Also, i used to see people complaining those who merge the tags comedy and tragic for one fic....i mean...have yall never heard of tragic comedy? xD...yeah...this was also an aim for this fic, an epic tragic romance and also a comedy. cuz....why not?
Bonus:
As the title said...it's a recommendation list of fics i read and liked....honestly, it's not even easy to find a fic that can really satisfy me as a reader...some in the list might be those i enjoyed reading but not necessarily in love with...but some on the list were the ones i truly adore...since i haven't been reading fics for awhile...i haven't been updating...
If you think your fic would be up to my taste feel free to send me links...but if you don't see my comment or me writing about it....please don't be offended...it might be that it's not my taste....when i really love something....i don't hold back from commenting to my heart's content....you can find proof from fics that i marked with heart sign....those were fics i freaking loved
And if i could...i'd love to recommend my newer fics based on some produce101 contestants that i enjoyed writing especially Bug and Guess Me, Baby....Bug featuring my beloved 1D5F/Leftover/Mansae underdog team especially had what it takes to be in the run for 'my coolest fic' top rank...but the thing is...i just don't see myself updating these fics...it's unfortunate because Bug could've been something i'd be so damn proud of....but i think i made it a lil complicated somewhere that i found it hard to pick up from where i left....
Okay...i wanted to make a proper closing...but i'm so tired of dragging this post any longer so....
i'll just see ya whoever bored and looking at random blogposts in my next post....
Happy Anniversary belated 20 days, me. xD
I'm old T^T. just waiting to uhh,,,be as mature as i should already...lol.
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