More belated anniversaries because. things happened.
in fact, some really heavy gloomy incident have happened in my life that i'd like to talk about, but maybe i don't have the courage/energy yet. for awhile i was remorseful and these days i've been feeling just hollow. maybe i'll share more about it when i'm ready, if.
anyway, i guess a little distraction might be good. or who knows if i'll even be distracted enough..
May is indeed a very special months in terms of fanfic writing for me.
as said before, i won't celebrate all fics, but just the few that i feel were special enough.
this post might be a lil more absent minded than my previous anniversary posts...honestly idek why i bother with this post considering i don't really feel like it but whatever
Love Song in May
Happy 8 Years to Love Song in May
When I was nine, I first learned the pain of falling,
It was on a brilliant morning on a sunny day.
When I was nineteen, I first learned the woe of wordless rejection without even confessing,
It was on a beautiful noon's concert I couldn't pay.
When I was twenty-nine, I first learned the sorrow of hating,
It was on a cold evening, when the sky was gray.
I am thirty-nine, when it seems unending, the sufferings,
It was then I heard the song nobody sings,
When we met, it was a silent night, in May.
It was then, I learned the fear of what I couldn't say.
I had grown weary from the years of waiting,
But he's still as beautiful as ever, shining.
He promised that if I endure for just one more day, the one I wait for will come.
I believed his words, but I wasn't sure if it's still the same prayers I hum.
If you ask me what's so special about this fic....nothing really, other than all characters are OCs. which might not made it qualify as a 'fan'fic...but whatever. some of the random characters were inspired by celebrities. one more thing, this is the first installment of my ambitious 'monthly' series, where each month would be featured in the title like this one...and would follow the heroine's life journey. May is special because it's the start. in fact, at first it wasn't meant to be series...i just got greedy...because the ending was left with ambiguous/mysterious feel and kinda cliffhanger? the plot itself was nothing special. just encounter of a spinster with a mysterious annoying good looking stranger(May guy) who acted like he knew her, when she was contemplating suicide after feeling like she hit rock bottom in life..it was rather cheesy in fact. i was just looking for a simple plot to challenge my all-oc fic...and after writing a young naive oc in Unlock the Devil Fourever, i wanted a more mature, relatable heroine i can root for.
Funfact 1: while looking for names, i thought of older actresses...and Choi Jiwoo came to mind(i'm not her fan btw, it's just random), so i named her Hong Jiwoo..since i was planning for her sister character to be Hong Jinyoung(btw, her sister only appeared in September story)
Funfact 2: the fic was inspired by this song:
have a live perf too, cuz i love me live perfs, and i love how Jungmin seem to love performing with live band too cuz it just added so much to the song. even though i love the recorded ver too. the live just felt more 'rock' while the original is just ballad
I've been in love with the song from the moment i first listened to it....i loved it so much that i started translating the song and i guess somewhere in the middle of translating i was inspired to write the story. the title 'love song in may' actually copied the title of jdrama in which the song was featured in as ost: love song in august. lol me and my uncreative title...haa. at least i don't copy plots/characters. btw, the drama probably had a more scandalous plot with the love story between a star and a married woman(no scandalous scenes though, just the idea of an affair but not like it really happened, just a lingering idea delved by the drama), although the song itself talks about one sided love(which lyrical wise, is very typical Park Jungmin song...believe me, i've translated many of his songs n mostly he wrote the lyrics so....xD...)
Funfact 3: ok not so fun, but i only wrote up until October before i just stopped writing and when i stopped it's just hard to pick up back from where i left. in every month, there would be the monthly character, either to be the heroine's love interest, or just someone who made impact in her life like in July where she found a good friend(honestly, July girl is my fav character, i felt for her character...but yeah let's talk about that when the time comes)
Tbh, one memorable thing about this fic is the fact that i got some new readers. which was super surprising because i didn't even get readers when i use idols as characters but here i was making a fic with all ocs....no idols in tags....and there were 2-3 readers who even commented...it was really a surprise. May guy really be collecting fangirls with his rude shameless character...but he's too strong a presence that i don't think anyone who had appeared so far could compete with him...maybe it's because when i first wrote the story, he's the only character....though maybe Cherryish who had their own level of mystery could compete in that department. i was planning to make a really strong competitor with the old guy in October story...but yeah i stopped writing...
B U G
Happy 5th Anniversary B U G, though you're sadly not completed
You see me as nothing but a petty, filthy, insignificant bug.
But a bug's immune system is far stronger than any of your Homo sapien selves.
That's just how we are.
Designed, to survive.
Kim Yong Jin, one of the resident rejects at Mnet's 101 Boys Performing Arts Academy finds himself in yet another round of forming a group with other rejects for a monthly performance of the academy. What he, and the rest of them were not aware of, was that, there's a bug amongst them.
And bugs...are stronger than human.
Stronger than you. ;)
B U G is special for me. it's one of my 'rebel' fics. i know writing about more popular produce 101 kids would get me more readers, but i want to write for my kids...the leftover team. and i wanted to make a bizzare story to match the bizzare impact they had on me while watching the show. the true underdogs deserve the most special story. well, actually that's just big talk....it probably got a lil too ambitious/complicated i got lost and gave up yikes.
oh...it also was inspired by a fanmade video of Sungwook. but it's already been privated so i'll just share his intro video where the fanmade video took clips from.
^ cmon guyz...how is that not attractive/interesting? xD our spiderboy...if only he had debuted as idol with other trainees from his agency, i'd have followed the group(Wei) but he debuted as actor so...yeah...
But if i can share a funfact/little secret about the mysterious character in the fic(Sungwook)...his words/philosophies mirror what i feel pretty much...just i made it more....idk....showy? extreme? bizzare? cryptic? to bring more spotlight to his character cuz cmon...who doesn't like a weirdo mysterious creepy-ish guy who speaks truth? lol. i had fun writing the story from Yongjin pov, like i stated in the fic, i chose to wrote as Yongjin because he's the only one who survived the elimination, and even in the actual show, he's like the narrator of the group during their part...he's just easy to root for, and he's very talented too. i remember how mad i felt during the Spring Day perf(the next round after he survived the elimination) when his more popular teammates pushed him out from the main vocalist part after some flaws/mistakes during practice, and the kid they chose to be main vocalist did much worse in the actual stage....while Yongjin was relegated to having the least lines from his original position as main vocalist...they really sabotaged him...but naturally he did so well. of course, not enough to survive since who notice the unpopular kid with barely lines? that happened in produce season 1 too, when Yeonkyung was pushed away from main vocalist postion after some mistakes during practice, and she ended up getting the tiniest intro and outro lines just like Yongjin, while the contestant who took her spot sang like the majority of lines that show off vocals when others could sing too...amusing how some shietty things never change....but i guess that's the normal thing.
My fav from Mansae underdog team....idk...i love them all, i even discovered and got into JJCC somewhat because of this team. but i guess Sungwook is the one i instantly like when i saw all the contestants in pd101s2, cmon...guys with glasses, always a win for me. lol. i also had a soft spot for Gyumin who really tried his best to lead his (at first) hopeless group. and of course, Yongjin's positivity...and if we're looking outside the team, i guess i also like Jeong Dongsu a lot...guy is so damn talented but sooo lacking in self esteem n super selfless that he always lets other guys fight for the good parts while he just took leftover parts thinking he's not good enough and not goodlooking enough when he could outsing them anyday. ugh. (funfact: Yongjin and Dongsu even released a collab/duet song together even though they were never a team on the show)
You know what even more? mnet took down their team's perf while keeping the other team. i have plenty of curses in my head right now. only the solo fancams exist now...i might upload their part sometime later...
In fact, you should watch Yongjin's speech when he's saved from elimination. While other kids were just crying even when they're already saved and asking people to keep supporting them, Yongjin used that space and opportunity to send his last respect to his team mates, recalling his good memories performing with them, because of his speech, all the team mates got their one last screentime...them looking content, proud and wistful, and even BoA's praise for their stage. it was handsdown the classiest speech. i mean it's obvious nobody in the group going to get any higher than Yongjin...who, even being saved from elimination was like a miracle. i love how instead of crying which could earn him attention, he showed his happiness...as he should.
^ starts at 1:54 for relevant parts, but if you're interested to watch other survivors sobbing for their luck in front of the eliminated ones..feel free..I'm just so proud of my kids T^T.
If I could, i sure wish i could continue this fic. but it's difficult.
Happy 9 Years Floral Rain
Journey of two lonely souls growing up and trying to find friendship, love, and their own place in this world.
Even from the first day they met, he had found his soon-to-be-best-friend fascinating. And the more he came to know and learn about the cheerful boy who strangely only had hardened expression or dismissive indifference whenever their eyes met, the more he felt confused. The boy was like a puzzle with missing pieces, a riddle that couldn't be solved, a question with no answer. How long would it take for him to crack the wall that had always kept them so far apart despite growing up and spending each day together? What if curiosity and fascination grew stronger and deeper, into something more? How would their friendship survive amidst the changing seasons, years, people around them, life situations and feelings?
What would it take for him to hear something he already knew but desperately yearning to be assured of?
A Floral Rain?
The fic that was initially meant to just be 'friendship' with some ambiguous romantic vibe...how did it crossed over to the 'romance'-ish side...beats me...maybe i just couldn't control myself since this was my otp we're talking bout...my ship...lol,
This fic left me with so many...inexplainable feelings. and lingering feelings. perhaps of regrets, or the could have beens. and what ifs...
This fic also made me feel conflicted...and i've been thinking of taking it down more than a couple times already...yet i still hadn't done it.
Not so random fact: the story/title was inspired by this song...no surprise i guess...
And though you don't have to read the fic, you NEED to give a listen to the OST playlist i put together for the fic, if you like the song above, never have a fanfic soundtrack i put together had felt as cohesive and on point in sync with the story as this one: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLANLXvo5_4RKM6phNo7KSRoHiU8o_bhVt
Sometimes when i think of this fic, i'm a little scared, sometimes a little ambitious, sometimes just...nostalgic. pensive.
i want to talk more...i thought i'd have the most to talk about this but yeah...
I had fun immersing myself as the narrator/Kevin...and Kwanghee in this fic was probably one of the most complex characters i've written...well, he's not that complex but considering we didn't get his pov at all and everything came from how Kevin perceived...it's a challenge. Kevin himself is quite challenging, as at some points even readers got frustrated with him haa. Kwanghee in this fic was probably one of the most 'beautiful' character i've made.. from his personality, his mannerism, hobbies, his heart and how he took care of people around him, his indifferences, etc etc.. They're both characters that made me feel sorry...but well, the core theme of the fic itself was loneliness...i guess, it's inevitable...because i decide on how the story would go according to the feelings i get from the song.
This fic still remains dear and special for me, though like i said, it also makes me conflicted, a lot.