When I was nine, I first learned the pain of falling,
It was on a brilliant morning on a sunny day.
When I was nineteen, I first learned the woe of wordless rejection without even confessing,
It was on a beautiful noon's concert I couldn't pay.
When I was twenty-nine, I first learned the sorrow of hating,
It was on a cold evening, when the sky was gray.
I am thirty-nine, when it seems unending, the sufferings,
It was then I heard the song nobody sings,
When we met, it was a silent night, in May.
It was then, I learned the fear of what I couldn't say.
I had grown weary from the years of waiting,
But he's still as beautiful as ever, shining.
He promised that if I endure for just one more day, the one I wait for will come.
I believed his words, but I wasn't sure if it's still the same prayers I hum.
originally planned as oneshot, but i think i'll set a new goal...to end this before may ends, wherever this lead. how many chapters? idk....1? 2? 3?.....there won't be much planning or plot going on...i don't want to waste much time dwelling or perfecting bcuz i have tons other fics to work on so this will just go with the flow that comes out when i write. no thinking. it makes me tired n lazy.
as usual, my inspiration comes from song(s) but this time i can't think of anyone. you may think of her as you (if you don't mind to imagine yourself as 39year old spinster-39 is pretty young actually...i wanted to make her 49 or older but yeah i changed my mind-...i'm not sure if anyone would want to be in such a depressing state of character though so i made her as 'her' and not 'you') and you can imagine the him as any idol you like really. (your bias maybe? harhar...as for me i don't have bias-or maybe i have-haha, so...yeah..../faceless guy-isn't that creepy?coughs/) or do you have any idea who should he be? i'll shoot you if you dare suggest exo dude tho ...maybe anonymous would be better, rite?
ps: i'm not 39 years old yet just fyi n not gonna reach there in any near future><. lol. but this subject of age pressure with relationship status just gets to me. bcuz there are many people around me facing this n i'm from a conservative society-actually i think most societies are like that even if they pretend to be open minded n not judging blabla.... and bcuz i've a feeling i'll end up in this state anyway...not that i care(i like being single, don't you? but i'm not sure if that's bcuz i haven't reach that line of desperation and level of pressure), but ppl around will be bothered...bcuz ppl are nosy anyway so that's the inspiration behind this besides the luvly song. Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings or anything regarding this. i want to write a love story but why does this sound heavier like...uhm, social criticism? lol. /i can't write love stories T^T/
sorry if the explanation above sound ambitious but it came out flat...ahhh, i didn't want to do this author's note thingy at all at first...but then it just got out of me...../kicks/
and if you know what this title is inspired from, please allow me to clarify that i never watch it yet at the time i chose this as title, so if there's any difference or similarity in plot/characters/etc., it has nothing to do with the title i draw inspiration from. i just borrow inspiration for title since i find it pretty.
Comments