Let's start from 4 years ago, Zal. When I first know you. 🙂

I first met you when I was going to my room, over the unit I rented when I was working. 

It started from me passing over the restaurant you work at whenever I return or going to work. 

You called me with your iconic high voice, "Hai! Good morning dear!" 

That time, I can only smile shyly because your friends are there too, and teasing you with me. That was the first memorable memories I got with you.🙂 

Started from that day on, you always called me with every cute and funny petnames, and I can only laugh at that. Because I don't have any come back to that. 

You're being brave one day, asking my number directly from me, which I approve. I like it when a boy or man, being a gentleman, asking for my number directly from me. Especially when I am pretty much untrusting of a man. You made me believe that not all man are a coward.🤭 

Acting coy, I decide to test the water a bit and refuse to gave my number by telling you that I don't have my phone on me to get your number instead. I told you that I'll give it to you next time and you just smiled it off, and that made me guilty. 

The next day you asked again, and I finally gave in from my guilt and gave my numbers to you. From then on, we started chatting. From you playfully courting me, to me shutting that off. To you showing off your niece to me and me thinking that it was your child. And to you shelling your side that I never know. To be honest, that was so precious to me. 🤭 

You asked me few times if you can have a date with me, and I had to reject it because I am so afraid of men. I'm sorry, for rejecting. 😢 

But you didn't took it to heart, yet we stay friends. Your antics were seriously making everyone around you automatically smile. You made everyone around you happy, and I am one of them. You were such a bright and cheerful boy I've ever know. You were so so nice that I have a hard time not to like you. You were born on Valentines day. Probably why you're so sweet.😔 

You made me happy, Zal. Just thinking about you made me so happy, smiling wide even. You reminded me so much of a guy who tried to live your life the fullest, not minding about other people, making friends here and there, yet life decide to be unfair to you. 

Seriously, I am not the type to cry from a friends, death news, but with you, I am so affected. I can't sleep well last night thinking about you. I keep thinking about you. Even today, I refuse to scroll my Facebook that much because there'll be news about you everywhere. And I will be a crying mess. 

Zal, I'm sorry for everything if I ever hurt you. I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable. And I'm sorry, that I haven't seen you a lot because of the pandemic. I'm sorry, I lost your number. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you anymore. 

Thank you for being the first one to approach me, because I would never been able to talk to you before. 

Thank you for being so nice that it made me reflect on myself a lot. How did you do that, Zal? Tell me your secret in my dream tonight.😔 

Thank you for being so playful that I can only smile at your antics. 

Thank you for being so kind to people around you that it's hard to forget about you. 

Thank you. 

Thank you for making me smile, thinking about you. 

Thank you for existing in my life, Zal. 

I miss you already. 

Don't worry, I can always hear you iconic high pitched voice in my head. 

Your twin must be very happy when you're around. And to Zul, I can only pray for him to be strong. 

Zal, my prayer will always be with you. 

I treasure our memories, Zal. 

Until we meet again. 

🌹In memories🌹 

Zal

14 February 1998 - 8 August 2021 

(I won't write their real name here. 🙂) 

I really miss you.