i wanted to say how much i relate and can understand this...cuz this was literally my feelings, my anguish. i was used to be the villain just for calling out my bros for disrespecting our mom, while my bros could act like crap and treated like angels. lol. so yeah. i did thrashed out my feelings with my mom later in life, though the scar never really went away. i'm also an overthinker. i wanted to give you better advice but i have none. other than sharing my current state of life, where i have all the freedom i want, but living with the burden of regrets and wounds that would never heal, some i even felt i would never have but losses of family members can really change things in the most bizarre ways. i've lost my parents at different stages of life, and this year i lost my oldest brother whose relationship with me was basically mortal enemies. it's strange that when you lost them, even if they made your life so miserable, it's as if those things never mattered, it's as if, what mattered only was how you made them felt. it's crazy but that's what i felt. i overestimated myself thinking i would die first and that he would be the last remaining sibling...but i got it wrong. anyway, i guess that's a bit too much offtopic of my own situation.

Maybe for a start you can try to have a heart to heart honest talk about how you really feel with either of your parents or both, whichever you feel easier to talk to. but try not to let the conversation get emotional else it'd be hard to get them to see the same page as you. Try to set amiable mood for the conversation. and try to explain your points as clearly as possible even if they tried to brush it off. sometimes, for some reason, they just couldn't see from our perspectives, and if we want to seek for any change, we have to make them see it. but i would say avoid fights, in the long run it won't be worthy. i know this sounds cliche advice(lol, i just said i didn't have any and i still attempted a poor advice), i'm just talking from experience. even though i did have regrets about my mom as well, but i guess because of the honest talks, i manage to somewhat found some comfort. but with my brother, whom we lost out of a sudden, and never really thrashed out our issues honestly and openly, it will remain as just deep regrets i could never rid of.

wish you luck in getting your situation to get better. i mean it would be difficult to hope for a big change to dynamics that had been around forever, but if they could be made to see from your perspectives and how they made you feel, it could be better and i know in such misery, even a little improvement would be enough to make us happy right? communication is key. Fighting!

The best options is to be financially and mentally independent, than you can move out , stay on your own . When you show them that you can stand on your own regardless , they won't have much to say not especially when you sent money back home .