GOODBYE, NASA.
phobos, the largest moon of mars but also the personification of fear and panic. one would wonder why nasa was assigned such a moon because if you've seen how she behaves, she is not at all fearful and panicky. no, nasa is often seen as fearless and unworried so why, you may ask? a plot twist. an irony, regardless of it being intentional or not. a life lesson. nasa, despite her exterior, is perhaps the most fitting to be "phobos". even her first name, duangchan, means full moon. she's as magnifying as the moon that orbits around mars but there is an eery beauty to her calmness. as if inside, she is fighting fear, insecurities and instability. such is the depiction of human life. nasa, despite all the wonder she brings from her moonshine, has her own inner fear and panics that she hides very well when she needs to be in orbit. otherwise, nasa, like the moon, becomes the night and loneliness' best friend.
ดวงจันทร์ กนกราตรีศิริพร
kim nasa 김나사 her so-called "korean name" that is only ever brought up for administrative purposes during her time in korea.
squirrel or chipmunk 다람쥐 the affectionate nickname that stuck to her because of her appearances. it's somehow a custom for people in korea to have nicknames based on an animal that is said to resemble them and for nasa, that was the chipmunk. the other members used tovouch for it, they'd definitely say that her cheeks when eating make her look like a squirrel or chipmunk.
advanced english the second most common language in thailand, she has had to study english since she enrolled in school as her second language. she did have a silly accent before due to the usual way she talks in thai, but after enrolling in high school, she gained confidence in fixing it. it quickly became one of her favorite subjects. she's become comfortable in speaking english.
proficient korean the language she has to master since she trained to become a k-pop idol. she had to take korean classes as a mandatory thing for foreign trainees. she does pay attention to it and she found it exciting and fun like how she found english to be one of her favorite subjects. she loves to try and talk with her korean native trainees and get them to help her out. her pronounciation isn't botchy and is quite clear, it's just that since thai has five tones (similar to chinese mandarin), even her verbal korean has these up and down intonations as she speaks. over the years, she's definitely improved the more she interacts with others and devotes herself to keep on learning the language deeper. she knows slang and profanity, that's for sure.
since her debut, a strict diet was added to her vigorous workout sessions, causing her weight to be below a normal bmi. her body muscles are shaped now, especially her legs and upper body. she currently sports a noticeable natural brown hue to her hair that is often put in a ponytail or a bun and her bangs would be pushed back, secured with a headband. if you see her with long hair, it's a high possibility that it's just extensions because she likes to have her hair short or mid-length instead.
at the core of nasa's personality is her confidence and resilience. she knows what her capabilities are and believes in them. she doesn't let her surroundings and external factors affect her emotions. she's not wavered by a challenge and even under nervousness or pressure, she doesn't show it and puts on a relaxed but assured front as she seems to lightly brush off the shock or surprise instead so she remains unbothered when facing a mistake or problem in the middle of a performance. she focuses on her strengths and is always hungry to improve herself. it's evident in how she's always asking feedback from others whose known to give it to others straight. the more she receives input, the more she works to fix her weaknesses.
it is due to her resilience that nasa keeps herself moving and working like a machine. she is a tough individual and has a rather flexible and positive attitude when faced with hardships. she always controls her mind to separate the bad things that stress her out and seeing the world through the good things that bring her peace and motivation. her mental control is a trait worth admiring. "life is too short to stay down so before you throw the towel, you just have to get back in the ring and duke it out," she would always advice the younger eclipse members whenever they need the comfort.
a key to her resilience is to keep track of her emotions and environment. she always kept a journal that served as a planner and diary so even after becoming an idol, she was more than willing to have to write in a diary every day unlike others who found it bothersome. she always found it helpful to empty out her emotions at the end of the day to start the next one anew. it also helped her to plan for the future. she gets to know who she is, all the pretty and all the ugly alike. she's not perfect and it's fine.
nasa is one of those kids in your class that would easily go around and introduce herself to everyone, approaching others first before being approached. she always gets along with people around her and maintains her relationships well. she doesn't do this for attention or for quantity over quality; she just loves people and can't stand seeing people being awkward. she helps include others in the conversation and it became a known fact that she knows everyone who is anyone.
so, any staff that works with nasa would be surprised when nasa greets them suddenly if they bumped into her and she addresses them by their name correctly. how did nasa know their name when they never really interacted? they'd be surprised again when nasa approaches them and give them some warm words and a full ninety degree bowing greeting or when she offers them a bottle of water or asks them about their conditions. how does nasa know of all this as if by instinct?
she has her ways. nasa is very aware of her surroundings and others' actions. she pays attention to the words and actions of others and takes note of them. even if you thought she wasn't paying attention, you'd be surprised by how much she knows through observing the room. nasa is just quick with her eyes and senses and it helps her manage her relationships and punctuality on the daily. as praised by haerin herself, nasa is a quick learner. she may not understand things all at once but she remembers them quickly and tries her best to create her own comforming understanding of the new knowledge. paired with her resilience, her quick learning and perception of the problem helps her catch up and go ahead of others.
nasa knows well that she must always be alert, never letting her guard down. it can serve her good as she's more often than not aware of her surroundings and her emotions so she's always tuning in to the world and its noises but it causes her to lack the ability to slow down. her world keeps spinning and living such a hectic life as a trainee and later an idol, nasa would be more likely to miss out on the deeper and quieter things in life that you can only see when you slow down. nasa's living pace is always so high that everything other than what's in her focus blurs out. having to invest so much energy, time and concentration towards her idol life, perhaps nasa is wearing herself down without her even knowing it. but she can't help it.
logic as a trait can be good for nasa as she keeps her head and feet on the ground, taking realistic approaches to a problem and provides solutions based on real circumstances and facts so that she's always making full use of what she has in that moment. such a trait is very useful and much needed in times of crisis or solid problem-solving. however, it has its own shortcomings as she may not possess the same level of creativity or imagination as those whose heads are in the clouds. she always sees things as they are and not what they can be so despite having confidence in delivering an important role in a team, she somewhat feels that she does not have a significant role in the creative process itself. what's more is that over the years spent in south korea, despite wanting to follow her heart at certain times, she knows better than to do so. she may have to let go of things that resonate in her heart and make her happy even if makes her less happy and hurts her as she knows, it's supposed to be the right thing to do because she is a group member and whatever she decides to do affects the others too.
what nasa herself doesn't notice about her flaws is that she can't be restrained. she never saw herself as stubborn when others can definitely notice it about her. she has rather firm and unswayable stances and beliefs. nasa is someone who knows what's best for her, causing her to be someone who cannot be controlled within the context of personal relationships and professional partnerships. she doesn't hold back on her opinions that lean on logic and facts, causing her words to sometimes express herself unselfconsciously without restraint. what's more is that the more nasa tries to keep herself tidy and in line, the more she's just setting more restrictions for herself so the one time she bursts, it strikes fear in everyone around her.
to explain this, for instance, 99 times out of 100, she's "the nasa that's always nice and looks out for everyone and learns quickly" but the 1 time out of 100 is "the nasa that throws caution to the wind and just bursts." containing herself and her emotions from emerging in front of others (writing it down is not included) causes her to eventuallly just unselfconsciously do things that are "unlike the usual nasa".
despite behaving the best she can to be perceived and acknowledged as a peacemaker within the members, nasa's stubbornness shows when things need to be sorted out. considering her resilience, the one time she bursts will cause her to have a mind that's ready to duke it out with one of her members, get into a bit of a verbal exchange and forgive and forget if it means that a bit of conflict will make things better. of course, these actions will have very fatal repercussions so all the other members can do is pray that nasa is always on her 99 out of 100 side because honestly, who would want to fight with the nasa?
the reason why nasa is so concerned with keeping herself in line and putting all these limitations for herself (ones that she puts upon herself personally, different from what the agency and staff puts upon her) is because she is strict on herself. as the other members may have noticed, she doesn't give herself a break or time to slow down and lets her world keep spinning even when it's not mandatory. nasa is not strict on others, only focusing on herself as she knows she cannot urge others to change. she whips herself to keep going and demands a lot from herself. she vows to do so to maintain her performance rates and she'll always strive to be perfect. she holds her standards high and is quite held up on revising what she's already done.
there is a reason why she has become best friends with loneliness of the nights practicing alone and it is because she is someone who pays attention to details. it feeds on to her strictness on herself regarding what is right or proper or "appropriate". every angle, every step, every beat has to be precise in order for her to be satisfied. she is inclined to think that doing less than that is not enough since she's careful, perhaps too careful when it comes to having an attitude that "does everything correctly" and "exactly as it should be done". nasa's natural response to absorb and soak in any pressure that comes her way is her double edged sword because someone needs to help her relax for once, honestly. even so, the reason why nobody has tried to do so is because well, nasa just can't stop.nasa as a college student lived a colorful life. she was a part of the musical theater club while participating in several debate team and speech competitions like she did in high school. it was convenient for her to make some money on the side because she offered her service to be a private tutor for anyone who'd like to learn english, something her brother had suggested as a joke and didn't think she'd take it seriously.
having been a part of the musical theater club during her time in high school and in university, she found out that she actually enjoyed acting and singing on a stage. there was a sense of thrill and achievement after every curtain call of her performance in a musical. the stage was a place she never feared in being. she had always enjoyed singing and only started to learn how to dance after being a part of the musical theater club, though others would say that they would never have thought she never knew how to dance because of how quick she learned choreographies.
her life would soon be take an interesting turn in the middle of her ordinary life during her third year of attending university. as a representative of the music theater club, she and another student went to perform a demonstration to attract the freshmen to join the club. someone put it on social media and on her way home that day, a street casting scout had approached her. she didn't succumb to the persistent efforts and rejected the offer because one, she thought it was a scam and two, she didn't want to be late to the after party that was being held by her friends. the second time she was street casted was by a different scouting manager at a different time. it was after she wrapped up one of the most awaited music theater performances. the woman that approached her gave out her business card with the JYPE logo, "if you have any thoughts of trying out something new, please contact us and audition for us."
the sudden encounter with the woman who was a scouting employee for JYPE led nasa's feet to walk into the auditions being held in bangkok at the time because nasa figured it'd be a great life experience. she never really thought she'd make the cut, anyways. what she didn't expect was that after going to the audition, she received the announcement email of her acceptance as a trainee that told her to be in korea by next month to begin training. it looked like nasa had to turn in her leave of absence next semester because her fourth year seems to have to wait.
for accomodation, nasa had already found an apartment in bangkok's sathorn district where she'll be living alone. the district itself is close to the neighbourhood where her boyfriend lives, making it convenient for them to meet up often and go on dates. she will be a busy bee this year, as she is currently slated to act in at least two more projects after finishing the drama she's filming right now. even so, there is still leisure or thrill in between her schedules because she's finally returned home after a long time away from it.
nasa will be meeting old friends, cafe hopping, exercising, going on dates (though it won't be published to the public until later, as agreed with her boyfriend), and so much more. she'll almost be like the foreign travelers who have fun going from one place to another without a care in the world even if she's actually a native (that just shows how long she's been away) but that's okay for nasa because she's enjoying the life she's rebuilding.
does she miss seoul? yes, but nothing beats the comfort of home. does she miss the idol life? she will. but perhaps, if nasa were given the choice to go back in time, she may not walk into the jype audition that day. she's always wondered what her life would be if she just built her career from scratch in thailand without being a kpop idol but at least right now, if she weren't a kpop idol, she may have never met her members or chai so for that, she's just thankful to have gotten through the years without any major side effects.
it's also surprising to her that not many people would come to her for autographs or pictures because they know her from her time as "nasa of eclipse". remembering korea and eclipse as a fond memory of hers, nasa was surprised to see many fans accuse her of being a "traitor" to the group as they leave her many negative comments because she had "forgotten her roots". such fans seem to forget that she is thai and there are more prospects for her as a thai native in the industry back home but nasa does understand their emotions. it'd be shocking, she knows, so she just has to deal with it and fight back the malicious comments with the law. it's perhaps the only last way she can protect eclipse and her memories with them.
— dislikes: cold weather, horror/jumpscares, junk and instant food (due to bad childhood memories of being hospitalized for a few days), the cold shoulder, being called "old", the cold shoulder, frogs.
— hobbies: exercising to music, reading books, journalling, listening to music, watching movies or dramas
— buddhist, like the vast majority in thailand.
— can play the guitar and the ukelele as a hobby before moving to korea and had to practice it as a skill to enhance her vocals.
— her favorite korean artists are mostly from SM, namely red velvet and shinee but the first ever kpop song she ever listened to was snsd's into the world and the first ever kpop group she stanned was exo (her bias was and still is baekhyun) when they first debuted.
— she works out to keep herself healthy through pilates or flying yoga while also putting some time at the gym for lifting weights or time on the running machine. when she's lazy but wants to sweat, she goes out for an hour walk outside or around the park.
— being from thailand, her favorite season is summer and spring (which she would say, is the only season ever present in bangkok) while she doesn't have a favorite weather. as long as it's not always raining, she's okay.
— her favorite korean food is hotteok, tangsuyuk and samgyeopsal. she could easily eat those every day if she could.
— fans were curious about this notebook she carries everywhere she goes so she showed the contents of it in a vlog (or vlive) once where she explains that she'll write the date and whenever a korean word she doesn't know pops up, she'll write it down in that notebook with the meaning and her own interpretation of the word.
— through bambam, she was invited to the group chat consisting of idols from thailand and this caused fans to wish for her interactions with them on camera.
— the queen of selcas, as fans call her. she has a lot of filters, poses and expressions to choose from and she often posts them at the group's official social media.
— everyone in eclipse had once agreed that nasa is the best cook among them all. nasa's had experience living alone and had to cook for herself over ordering food so she can pretty much cook anything. haerin says that nasa makes the best french toast for breakfast, one of her favorites from nasa.
— loves to get nail art because she loves to experiment and try on different patterns or color palettes.
— nasa had always liked to read books, specifically non-fiction for self-development or just to learn more. she reads a lot about psychology, motivation, culture, international politics, marketing and communication. if you didn't know her and saw her book collection, you wouldn't really imagine her to be a kpop idol.
— her music selection when exercising is quite different from her usual choice of music that's more r&b, pop or minimalistic since she likes more upbeat and energetic songs when exercising.
— eventually graduated from chulalongkorn university in early 2016 after she managed to resume her studies due to the lack of activities eclipse was given by the company.
— at the beginning of her idol career, she didn't actually have any bad memories of malicious comments because well, she didn't understand korean or hangul enough to actually know the meaning of several of the comments. she only got to know about them if she asked her members.
— she spent the first half of 2020 in thailand, filming a supporting role in "who are you" as "tida traiwitsakul" that caused her to be a nominee for "best actress in a supporting role" in 25th "asian television awards" (to be held in 2021).
— the second half of 2020, nasa spent with eclipse in korea. after obeying the self quarantine guidelines and preventive tessting, she joined eclipse to promote their seventh mini album in july and their eighth single album in november before going back to thailand to film a drama in january 2021.
— @itsnasaduangchan: her public account that is where she posts every pretty pictures of herself, her friends, behind the scenes and work-related contents. uploads at least one post a day so that her fans don't miss out.
— @nasaspov: her public film camera account where she posts worthy pictures. she picks the pictures carefully because she wouldn't want to post something questionable.
however, there was no way she'd be debuting any time soon since the next group to debut was confirmed to be a boy group under the name got7. that became the reason why she left jype after she made it to her first official year as a trainee.
she auditioned and became a trainee for sunrise ent. after being street scouted when she was shopping for makeup at the apgujeong rodeo street a few months upon leaving jype. nasa showed interest in sunrise ent. after hearing that it was the new agency that han sojun, a former jype employee, had started.
as a trainee, nasa always left a warm and friendly impression to others. since she couldn't reveal her identity of being a trainee, she and her family had to tell those around her that she was undergoing an intensive language program in korea (which is not entirely wrong, in theory).
nasa's trainee life had taught her many things about perserverence and how to manage the pressure or uncertainty ahead of her. even more, as she had to deal with the language barrier. looking back, being a trainee had made nasa learn more about herself and how to push through the limits.
with that, nasa focused on doing other things she could do to contribute for the group: communicating to the international fans in english. the more eclipse was slowly building in popularity, nasa thankfully saw more lines being given to her and more center time as well. even if she didn't have much lines, she would always be one of the most vocal members when it comes to interviews done in english so nasa felt like she had a rather clear role in the group.
through any official group social media, nasa liked to communicate with her fans and adopted a more friendly or "best friend" concept with them so she enjoys seeing both the funny jokes and the memes but with a clear line of what is acceptable. she liked to receive various recommendations from the fans regarding songs, foods, visit-worthy restaurants, makeup and dramas. as much as she enjoyed giving and taking fan service, nasa made it clear towards sasaengs who often intruded the privacy of her family or her own. it was rarely announced because she wanted the company to address sasaengs quietly through either sueing them or reporting them to the police or such.
nasa, being one of the few foreign members in the group, was given opportunities to act back in thailand and upon her debut as an actress in a supporting role in SOTUS (2016), she saw her offers and chances to audition for more productions under GMMTV multiply. it was just that sunrise ent. didn't promote her activities actively and nasa herself had to be the ones to post about her confirmed projects, her members also helping her out. this was despite the fact that nasa was gaining prominence in her home country.
that was what convinced nasa not to renews her contract later on when it expires. she has had many frustrations with how sunrise ent. lacked effort in marketing or at least publishing her confirmed projects to the fans. all the years she spent in korea had been great and lovely but there is a limit to how much nasa can do and garner attention. she misses home and if the chance to go back and build a career there that's more promising, then why not?
before eclipse had even disbanded, nasa had already thought about her future and her plans because she knew that deep down, she didn't want to renew her contract with sunrise entertainment. her current ambitions go as the following, as written by nasa herself in her notebook:
— signing a contract with GMMTV who had been asking about her for awhile
— pursue a master's degree in strategic communication management at chulalongkorn university
— start a youtube channel and upload vlogs, song covers, dance covers
— take up at least three projects a year as an actress under GMMTV
— spend more time with mom and dad (and/or p'amon)
— go on more dates with chai! ♡
any other long-terms may include marriage or opening her own business of some sorts, most likely a cafe or a thrift shop.
cho haerin eclipse, '97.
haerin and nasa have a fun chemistry with one another because they are two people with entirely different personalities and MBTIs for that matter so it's always funny to watch them have debates or be paired together as a team for mini games with one another.
with eclipse disbanding, nasa will miss the times she's spent taking care of haerin and comforting her every now and then because nasa knows haerin holds herself back from the world a bit. haerin was one of the members who willingly helped her improve her dancing and for those times they spent chatting as their sweat drenched their clothes and the many sleepless nights in the practice room.
now that eclipse is disbanding and nasa is setting off for a new start in thailand, nasa had talked with haerin to sort out any loose ends because they might not see each other for a long time. tearfully, they agreed to let the old pages of the past be turned and remain a wistful memories in their minds. they still message each other and their social media interactions every now and then become proof that nasa, in no form or way, had betrayed her members unlike how some "fans" claim her to have done.
chai ชัย boyfriend, '93.
the person to knock on and waltz himself into nasa was chai. they first met in april 2017 when she had to do a photoshoot for harper bazaar thailand where chai, then gaining fame slowly, and her had to pose together several times as a couple. nasa befriended him afterwards and kept in contact with him because he had that familiar sense of home.
when nasa's business affairs in thailand become more frequent, she always hang out with chai who took her around bangkok and its hidden gems. nasa always had fun with him but she knew it was better to leave several thoughts or feelings of hers unsaid in order not to jeopardize whatever bond they were forming.
chai is just too nice and precious to let go, after all, in nasa's eyes. in fact, she attributes chai's persistence and curiosity towards her to be what actually made her believe there was possibly longevity, meaning and stability to their relationship.
she could rely on chai to cheer her up or just listen to her occassional stories about work. even on the fun, nasa has fun talking to him and hearing him chatter on about a lot of things, opposite to the nonchalant and untalkative first impression of his.
to make up for their occassional long distance dating, chai often sends her care packages from bangkok while nasa shops gifts or souvenirs to ship to him. they often take video calls with each other as well. such an event between the two as a couple keeps the relationship interesting and battles the distance.
they started dating in october 2018 and are currently going strong. as nasa was still a kpop idol during that period, chai understood about her wish for him to not post anything hinting at their relationship. this will all change when nasa returns to thailand for good and tries to build her career. thai actors, actresses and singers have it easier when it comes to dating, in fact fans are fine with seeing PDA posts of cute celebrity couples on social media.
after a few talks, nasa and chai will agree to slowly post about their relationship. the first post of their relationship would be around one of their birthdays and the second during their anniversary.
the eclipse members seemed to caught on fast to the unusual lovey-dovey aura nasa suddenly had and it didn't take long for signs of her dating chai to be found by them. they made sure to get her to buy them dinner in exchange for keeping it a shut secret and nasa, knowing all too well what their true motives were, decided to treat them to premium korean beef bbq. the day she and chai go public, they promised to embarass her in the comments together.
(fullname: anantachai watcharaphon อนันตชัย วัชรพล, september 21, 1993)
bambam thai buddies, '97.
nasa was grateful that someone like bambam even bothered to befriend her, especially when they both managed to debut in the same year under different companies. they text a lot and relieve a bit of the homesickness they feel every now and then. they are supportive of each other's activities and often bother one another to stream their mvs or listen to the albums (nasa always says that look is an underrated bop).
they will share a lot of wholesome and friendly interactions over social media to hype each other's activities, leave funny comments and share embarassing photos of one another during birthdays.
amon อมร brother, '93.
the attention she gets from her family is mostly because she's the youngest out of two children. frankly, nasa and her brother love to get on each other's nerves after nasa grew up but it's worth noting that nasa as a younger sister grew under her brother's wings, learning how to speak english, ride a bike, learn the thai script and was kept company by her brother whenever their parents were working. especially, if you consider the fact that they were always enrolled in the same school. as an older brother, amon still cares for her in his own ways underneath all the sarcastic jokes and jabs he throws at her.
their sibling bond is often showcased whenever nasa calls him and he voices his concerns for her despite being shy to do so. amon had definitely partake in promoting nasa's activities as a member of eclipse or as an actress and fanboy over the other members while wondering how nasa managed to look that good on stage performances or in videos. he knows her hardships that unfold behind the scenes because even if he loves to joke around, he's a great listener. so if she ever returns to thailand, he'll be ready to give her a hug and say nothing at all.
song juri eclipse, '95.
name relations, year.
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