Mistake. 

I am the type of human who always acknowledge my mistake. I can hardly sleep at night, knowing that I made mistake or wrongdoings to other people. I will be so disturbed by it that I will think about it the whole night. I was taught to own my mistake and I never afraid to own it. Because human are never perfect. I have a life motto of my own that I keep since highschool. 

Human are not perfect and they do make mistake. It just showed how humane they could be. And the best way to own their mistake is... 

Apology. 

I am not the best of a person. I never was a good person. That's how I always look at myself. Even after countless of good things that I did, I would never call myself a good person, even if people just praise me. Because I know, among thousand of my good deeds, one mistake that I did would erase every trace of the good deeds. For human like us, the only one mistake is way too bright not to notice between the dull thousand good deeds. 

My parents always told me to apologize whenever I make mistake. Despite their flaws, they had taught me the most basic life lesson. When you make mistake, acknowledge it, own it and apologize. I take this very seriously actually.😅 Because my dad once beat me with a rattan cane when I was 10 because I took a coin in his jeans pocket and I lied. 😅 It kinda traumatize me. 

So, whenever I apologize, I really really mean it. If anyone can actually see, I will bow down to the floor to the person that I make mistake too. 😅 And I am too afraid that they won't forgave me. My mom told me, whenever you made mistake, apologize to them as if you'd die if they didn't forgive you. 

But I can see now that I am quite different. I'd be having sleepless night once I realize my mistake, apologizing and not yet forgiven. And another thing that I came to terms with. 

I can apologize, and the person wouldn't forgive me. For me, that is fine, as long as my apology didn't get ignored. 5 years ago, there's this friend of mine and I didn't even say anything bad actually. He was just having his moment and being sensitive, apparently things that I didn't notice. I apologize for a day and I didn't even know what did I do wrongs. And my apology got ignored. I could understand if he didn't forgave me but I really hate ot when my apology got ignored. Especially when I didn't know what did I do wrong. 

I am that one type that would very much appreciate it when people being honest with me. If I do something wrong, do tell me so I can apologise. I am a very soft hearted when it comes to thing like this. 

Because when I apologise, I sincerely mean it from the deepest of my heart. 🙂 

I did mistake to someone yesterday and felt so guilty even until now.😅 I'm really sorry, once again. 🙇🏻‍♀️