Hi everyone! 

I hope you're all doing well. I thought I wouldn't write about today. But you know. There's a miracle happened today.

Today is the day that I got the quickest reply from my application yesterday. I just stumbled upon it and just thinking it to apply, didn't expect a quick answer at all from the company. Well maybe expected the next step of answers from them, but NOT THIS SOON! So yeah, I guess I got scheduled for the first interview. 

As all of you know, I have been talking a lot about my mental health. One of the causes of anxiety, the enemy, my number one mortal enemy, would perhaps be the overthinking, especially thinking about the future. Wouldn't you have anxiety for your 1st ever job ? I know some of you may find it annoying but for me it feels like even before the interview, I already felt a bit petrified. Like I never knew about the details that people do in their job. I never knew like if people would still teach you the skills like what you need to do, and asking them for the approval and stuff. I just think like being in the full time world, you are "dumped" with a whole load of assignments and it feels like nobody will ever guide you, which really scares the heck out of me. 

I to be honest, my internship experience is a bit not in the industry that I applied for. So I am still a bit petrified. Perhaps, if anyone is reading this, and has gone into the workforce world for 1-2 years of experience, could you guys let me know ? Will they still guide you ? Do they just let you be ? Let me know your experiences. 

Btw, eventhough I didn't found any new opportunities yet, but hopefully the progress of this opportunity will allow me to get a job here. I just.. I am not ready to get back home yet, and I just don't want to crush my dad's dreams. I am still hoping for other answers from the job that I had applied to. 

I hate the fact that i do tend to overthink. I feels in a way like it is a "disease"; like a habitual disease. Eventhough I am writing this now, I sometimes think like why do I tend to overthink, eventhough it is still feels far away. I just... sigh. Maybe because if I do not know what I was expecting, I might be thinking like "it feels impossible" or "i'm not confident". I just wish that someone would just accept me and be able to guide me. I do wanna build a portfolio, where I can still do my work and being respected for the things that I am working hard on. Actions and Results speaks louder than words. 

I do not know where this will lead me, but hopefully it will be God's answer to all of my prayers. Hopefully, it is what God has expected and planned for me. He knows what I can do. He knows the best of each and everyone of us.

I hope everyone is doing well. I had started a bit of sore throat, but my aches have just gone away. Maybe because of the weather transitions and me eating peanuts and anchovies loads. I always tried to stay hydrated though. But, yeah, regardless, please take care you guys! I'll try my best to update whenever I can. 

xoxo