First of all, I am not good with words. But some of this is the closest that I can filter. Because what she wrote might make people cry. Even herself cried writing those. 

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I cry. Outside and inside. I start to feel like 'how useless I am right now?'. I start thinking, will this world be better if I die? I shouldn't even born into this world. All this thought is so painful. I really need to be strong but I stand up alone. I have nobody who understand how I feel. My mind always wandering to that one dangerous thought. Should I take my life? 

That's what she wrote on the first page. I'm not gonna coat it, that still sounds really dark. I don't really know how to filter that but I think I will just took what she wrote as a whole. I want the world to know her story, her sufferings. That's all. That behind the face that smiling with her dimples, there's people outside who knows the life that she lives. She didn't have a love story like in TBONTB. She's afraid of men.🙂 

P/S : Oh yeah...if anyone didn't understand, this is about the RL character of the OC from my story, To Be Or Not To Be. I'm gonna be posting what she wrote in her black book. Well, in real life, the book is Yellow striped. I just want to make the character looks dark. Technically, the RL OC is a lot darker than that...😅