˗ˏˋ 시라 IS ON HIGH!VOLTAGE (tw!) ⭍

mayhaps have done too much.. . owell lmao (๑ˊ▵ॢˋ̥๑)
#6CB3E3 #3D8CD1 #D3C0C6 #275572 #100D14

TRIGGER WARNING:
mentions of adultery, child neglect & abuse (physical and mental), ptsd, and anxiety present. read at your own pace and with caution (especially in the 'about me' section).

LAYOUT NOTES:
fashion pictures scroll horizontally.
each relationship scrolls horizontally (redirected with 'read more →'); under the chat, scroll down for relationship, interactions and trivia.

voltage.

birth name.

shin boram, 신보람.

other names.

˗ˏˋ bethany shin her english name she playfully adopted as she frequently visited europe and oddly hated how people pronounced her korean name. so, she randomly picked 'bethany' from a list of names starting with b and it stuck with her since. she only says her name's bethany when she's abroad or around foreigners outside of promotions.
˗ˏˋ baram, 바람 meaning wind, the nickname first arised from colleagues back in high school who incorrectly spelled her name. however, after debuting, fans started saying how her voice is is like the wind: when her soft singing voice comes through, it's like a slight breeze that makes you feel good and gives you a feeling of wanting to warm up and get cozy; when she showcases her strong vocals (high notes), it's like a gust of wind in which it's strong and takes you by surprise, picking up in range and strength. what first started off as a mistake turned into a beautiful nickname for boram.
˗ˏˋ remi, 레미 a pretty popular nickname that runs in the family, but it's mainly her sister calling her this. it first started off as 'rami', which some people call her as well, but after watching ratatouille as a kid, her sister was quick to change 'rami' to 'remi', saying that boram was weirdly similar to the rat, remy, in the movie both personality-wise and appearance-wise. at first, boram found it stupid and lowkey an insult, but she started to see where her sister was coming from and ultimately accepted it, thinking that she does see a bit of her in remy. since then, she always poked fun at the fact that she wanted to be a great chef one day like remy.
˗ˏˋ etc., 기타 some frequently used nicknames include: bora, ram[i], ami, bo, and many more.

date of birth.

february twenty-six, 1997.

ethnicity.

south korean.

nationality.

south korean.

uality.

˗ˏˋ bi-curious boram strongly identifies as heteroual, but she has a curiosity to engaging with someone of the same . she doesn't have any prior experience being with someone of the same , but she's open to it if the right person comes along.

birth place.

yeosu, south korea.

home town.

anyang, south korea.

languages spoken.

˗ˏˋ korean fluent as it's her native language.
˗ˏˋ english she knows a good amount of vocabulary, but tends to stutter when she talks and is extremely unsure of whether her grammar is correct or not. she can understand it when she listens to others, regardless of speed, but she still needs extra time to process it after hearing it. however, through engaging with foreigners when she goes abroad and speaking in english to practice with korean-american peers, she's improving. boram still considers herself rather fluent in english, though.
˗ˏˋ french boram genuinely had no intentions of learning french, but she somehow managed to find herself picking up words and phrases when she'd be in france or with her sister who was fluent due to staying in france for a few years. she wouldn't say she's fluent in the language, but she admits that she understands some things and can give at least one or two words as a response. she often confuses different words, though, and she's not entirely aware of the grammar; but her vocabulary is pretty extensive, all thanks to her sister.

신보람

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기억나니 네가 좋아했던 그곳

played by baek yerin

back up

gyeongwon of hinapia. saebom of nature.

appearance

standing at 165cm and weighing 48kg, boram isn't one to stand out when it comes to visuals, but she somehow still manages to catch people's attention. from her porcelain white skin, her long legs that make up for her rather short stature, her delicate facial features and her slender build, it's difficult to glance over boram when she enters a room or appears in a picture you casually saw online. of course, people are quick to point out that boram suffers from resting face syndrome and would feel intimidated by it (that and her ethereal beauty), but she has this small, yet bright smile that she does almost constantly. her eyes form small crescents, her nose scrunches up a bit, her laugh lines appear slowly but surely— her smile is notably her best and favorited feature for strangers and fans alike, and boram would attest to that as well.

when it comes to make up, she prefers a more natural look, opting for just a lip balm, light foundation, a bit of bronzer and blush that she, out of habit, would pat across her face— from cheek to cheek and over her nose— to give her an almost sunburnt look. she'll sometimes put a bit of eyeshadow on when she's aware that she's going somewhere with cameras, but, for the most part, she doesn't do much when it comes to personal make up. she also doesn't do much to her hair as she prefers to keep it down on most days. she'll tie it up in a ponytail when she's practicing or if the heat is unbearable for her, but many would see her with her hair down naturally. but, of course, that's if her company doesn't have other plans for her makeup and hair, especially when it comes to promotions and filmings. she rarely fights her company when it comes to what they want her to look like, but she'll always try to get them to keep her natural black hair color because she prefers to keep it damage-free.
something that shocks many, especially being a female idol with such a soft and delicate appearance, is the fact she has a number of tattoos: she has two flowers on her right arm located on her bicep close to her shoulder and another located on her forearm; a flower and butterfly on the right side of bellybutton on her stomach, which is her largest to date; and she has a butterfly on the front of her left shoulder. because of her tattoos, her company tends to dress her with longer sleeves to cover them or uses skin-toned tape for broadcasting purposes. but that's only dependent on what shows she appears on since, for the most part, she's allowed to show her tattoos, especially during practices and non-promotional events. she thought that her tattoos would be disapproving for the group's image, but the company was all for boram getting the tattoos as long as they were appropriate, hence why her tattoos are nature-esque and doesn't showcase anything inappropriate.

style

her sense of fashion radically changes depending on, a, her mood or, b, her company's wishes and desires. fortunately for her, she has a keen eye for fashion and stays up to date with the current trends, so her company typically allows her to dress herself (but, of course, if it comes to their schedule, stylists are always on scene to make sure she's dressing appropriately and pleasing). regardless if it's for her schedule or not, boram is much more comfortable in flowy tops and denim jeans paired with either heeled boots or sneakers that are easy to slip on. she's notably the one member who dresses on the feminine side on most days, but there will be some days where she's feeling a little laidback and would prefer to have a more baggy feel with a men-sized dress shirt with denims or leggings paired with the usual bottoms. boram also likes to pair her outfits with a longer jacket, sporting either a trench coat or a padded coat when it's chillier outside. in a sense, you can likely take her fashion choices as a more "femine business-esque" fit, similar to the current k-fashion trends you'd see online. after all, boram always keeps an eye out for trends in the fashion world.

on most days, she doesn't wear jewelry unless she's told to by her stylists, but she does like sporting other accessories such as hats (notably berets and bucket hats) and a bag of some sort (notably a small purse wallet or a crossbody bag). boram does own a few accessories gifted to her by family and friends, but she's lost a number of rings and bracelets in the past to the points she would rather opt out of wearing dainty jewelry.

재미 삼아 남긴 낙서가 아직도

about me

enfp

amicable, open-minded, energetic

impulsive, critical, independent

pisces. gryffinpuff. chaotic good.

· constantly puts others before herself and is always worried over everyone. boram's likely the one taking the blame for others, even when it's pretty clear she didn't do it.

· pretty dumb and admits to it to the highest level. she knows right from wrong, but she'll always choose the most "fun" option just for laughs.

· although extraverted, she prefers being alone and keeping to herself, especially when it comes to personal issues. boram tends to bottle her feelings and emotions, and she does a pretty damn good job hiding it.

· pretty expressive when it comes to telling stories, using her wit and humor to make awkward situations better and more fun. she's clearly the life of the party, and she's proud of it.

· along with being the life of the party, she's also a life coach and cheerleader. she's always telling people to do what they want and pushes them towards their dreams. she's always enthusiastic about dreams and fate, especially when it's the dreams and fate of other people. boram just likes motivating, inspiring and helping people envision their life goals.

· takes peoples opinions and critiques to heart, fixing whatever needs fixing to the best of her abilities; but that doesn't mean she'll snap back when she, herself, thinks otherwise. boram doesn't mean harm, but she does ant to get her point across when someone's clearly in the wrong.

· too honest for her own good. sure, it's good to be honest, but boram can't tune into people's emotions for the life of her. so her tone and word choice can end up breaking hearts if she's not careful. hence why she usually stays back when someone's sad or angry, letting someone else deal with it.

· super artistic and imaginative, which comes in handy as a singer who wishes to write and produce songs in the future. boram likes expressing ideas that show a deep understanding of human experiences, especially in relation to her own.

· pretty quirky and over-the-place. whenever you see her, she's always doing something to busy herself; whether it's writing, cooking or anything that requires moving/thinking, boram's always up to something when she's awake.

her story,

˗ˏˋ infancy ˎˊ-

또 한 번 너의 세상에 별이 지고 있나 봐

(once again, in your world, a star is falling)

ever since she was born, her father was always out of the picture. her mother always blamed it over his own infedelity, stating that he went off to be with someone who was "richer" and seemed "more stable" than her. after all, her mother was just a simple waitress working a normal 9-5 job at a restaurant that only gave her a minimum wage paycheck that she always spent on luxury items that she really couldn't afford. her biological father, on the other hand, was a businessman set to run a family business as the ceo; however, one thing led to another, and her biological mother got pregnant with boram. but when her father left her mother, who at the time was eight months pregnant with boram, she had no other option but to live with her parents in yeosu and quit her minimum-waged job to become a full-time mother to boram. her biological mother couldn't say she wasn't stressed during her final month of her pregnancy. in fact, she was so completely overwhelmed and angry over her then-fiance leaving her eight months into her pregnancy that it was starting to make her pregnancy difficult. but she tried her best to not become so agitated for the sake of the baby, but, unfortunately, life got in the way and boram was born a week early and underweight, making for a very difficult labor process.

as a baby, boram was simply there in the presence of her mother and grandparents. of course, her grandparents always looked after her, giving her so much love and affection that made boram giggle and squirm about in pure joy, but her mother was rarely home. despite constantly telling her parents that she was looking for a job, they knew for a fact she was lying. boram's biological mother always came home, hair a mess and the scent of alcohol filling the room when she would enter through the door. because of this, it only became apparent that her mother was simply leaching off her parents to take care of her own child while she was out drinking. one fight led to clothes being thrown out the door, ultimately hinting that her mother was no longer welcomed. boram, who was only one at the time, was also being kicked out alongside her mother. of course, her grandparents loved her and cherished every single moment with their granddaughter, saying they brought so much joy that they were missing in life, but they wanted to teach their daughter a lesson on being a mother. they wanted her to raise boram and give her as much love and attention that they've given in her place. with the only money she had left, her mother could only afford a small countryside home, picking up a number of parttime jobs to make ends meet as a single mother.

˗ˏˋ childhood, part one ˎˊ-

숨죽여 삼킨 눈물이 여기 흐르는 듯해

(the silently shed tears are flowing here)

much of her childhood consisted of playing with the neighborhood grandmothers and grandfathers, eating and having fun in the fields they worked in and in their own homes. boram didn't have any friends outside of her schoolmates, but even then she only considered them acquaintances because she rarely saw them besides in school. her mother was always out working, only coming home at night after working three parttime jobs every day; and, even when her mother would come home, boram was never given enough attention. all she wanted was to play with her mother, to spend time with her, but her mother would always dismiss it and say she needs rest, telling a then five year old boram that she needed to wake up early for work. that sort of cycle repeated, and as much as boram wanted to spend time with her mother, she found solace in her schoolmates and the local grandparents around her.

as days went on with the constant cycle of never seeing her mother until late at night, boram still tried to urge her mother to play with her. but the constant pleas and so-called "yapping" coming from young boram only made her mother more frustrated that she already was. ultimately, it triggered her mother's anger and, with a rather unsettling grin, gripping on her daughter's arms and looking her straight in the eyes, she simply said that they should play every night from now on. of course, boram was happy when she heard that, but boram would never realize that the sort of "playing" her mother had in mind was far from safe and loving.

as a way to vent the frustration and constant stress caused from working every day, her mother used boram as a sort of "stress relief" every night after she came home. boram cried on multiple ocassions, but her mother simply said, a cheeky grin plastered on her tired face, that this is how she shows her love, that this sort of playing was normal. boram couldn't understand why she was feeling so much pain and sorrow, especially when she would see so many bruises and scratches over her body, but she always saw her mother's smile after they'd "play". all boram could do was enjoy it as well since her mother was happy, but deep down, boram was far from happy.

this abuse and treatment went on for years; and within those years, boram became assimilated to her mother's actions as it just became normalized the more it happened. the now seven year old boram learned to hide her scars and scratches with her own lies she built around her own clumsiness and lifestyle at the time. when peers would ask about scars and bruises on her face, she would just say she fell or scratched herself with something while at home, never once admitting that she was getting abused by her own mother. no one ever saw her scars and bruises on her arms and legs because boram always hid it behind baggy clothes and long-sleeve sweaters that she'd wear even when it was burning hot outside.

it wasn't until one day when boram was playing with the grandmother nextdoor after school. the grandmother, who boram grew very close with after constantly visiting her to eat and study with, was quick to notice a rather large burn mark on her neck that noticeably had a cut in the center, blisters and bumps becoming apparent as the light started hitting it. asking the then eight year old boram what happened to her neck, boram was quick to hide it behind the hood of her sweater, saying she accidently burned herself with a curling iron. the grandmother knew boram was lying, saying that her hair wasn't curled at all and it looked fresh. that's when boram told the grandmother that her and her mother were "playing" this morning and she got burned in the process.

that's when things started to piece together for the grandmother. she remembers nights of hearing yelling and screaming coming from nextdoor, but she always dismissed it because laughter and remarks of joy always followed after. it all sounded as if it was just a mother and daughter playing friendly games, but little did she know that everything she heard was cries and laughs of terror and horror. that's when the grandmother started to inspect boram's body, seeing even more cuts, bruises and burns overtop of so many scars and evident pain. at that moment, boram just cried and cried, telling the grandmother that all she wanted was to see her mother happy, even if it meant she was in pain.

a few days later, boram's house was met with social workers and a cop. of course, boram was the one to answer, her arms full of bruises and marks and her face red and stained with dried tears. it was evident that things started getting worse in the house, but boram endured it and just smiled through her pain when she told the people at her door that her mother was currently at work. after that encounter, boram was taken (with the grandmother joining her for comfort because the young girl was scared) and she never heard of her mother since.

at eight years old, all boram could process was that she was surrounded by children she's never seen before and never saw the neighborhood grandmother after seemingly being left in a large house with strangers. she felt lonely, but, after awhile and being told by an older teen she shared a room with, she started to open up and felt as if she was finally getting the attention and developing friendships she always wanted. she started to make pure and genuine memories at the children's orphanage where she spent the remainder of her childhood in. but, after two years (meaning, boram was now ten), and her bruises and pain was overcome by happy memories with the other children, she found herself being adopted by a family in anyang.

˗ˏˋ childhood, part two ˎˊ-

할 말을 잃어 고요한 마음에

기억처럼 들려오는 목소리

(in my silent heart that has lost all words,

i hear a voice like hearing a memory)

in anyang, boram found herself enjoying life even more as she finally had someone to spend time with after school (her new sister), and her parents were very loving and supportive. this new family of hers was unlike the broken one she was in throughout her childhood. however, she wondered why her new parents weren't playing with her like her biological mother once did, saying that these hugs and kisses she's been receiving feel rather opposite of the sort of love her mother once gave her. that's when her new parents found out about the abuse she suffered through and the reason she was placed in an orphanage more in depth. they knew she was special when they saw her at the orphanage when they went to visit to volunteer, and it was evident that she went through so much as a child, as did all the other children at the orphanage did. but something about boram was... different to them. as much as they pushed off adopting a child, after having a miscarriage and their current daughter's plea for another sibling, they ultimately adopted boram after getting to know her through volunteering more often at the orphanage. and, now that they found out about the abuse and horror she went through in yeosu, they vowed to show boram the proper way parents should love and respect their children, making it their ultimate goal for boram to not grow up similar to her biological mother.

it took a few years to fully grasp the concept of being loved and giving love in return, but when boram entered middle school at thirteen in seoul (simply for exposure of the city and the people there), she became more lively and loving to others and her family. she started to realize that the idea her biological mother instilled in her about what "playing" and "love" was far from the true definitions that her new family gave to her through the few years they were together. boram was lucky enough to grasp the reality she faced and is facing to better help herself and love herself more than she once did. there's still a bit of her that misses certain aspects of her old life, but, when it came to her own happiness and well-being, she learned to be more selfish towards herself. boram, at the tender age of thirteen, learned that this was the lifestyle she was destined to be part of; a more happy, healthy and loving lifestyle was what life had in store for her when she was adopted.

when she entered her last year of middle school (age 14 going 15), her family was becoming more busy: her older sister was prepping for college, her father was busy running a family business alongside a new bar and her mother was gone on weekdays to work. of course, boram was scared that her family was slowly slipping through the cracks and was going to be left alone like she was as a child, but she was fortunate enough to have a group of friends from school to help soothe her loneliness after school. through them, boram developed a love for music when a friend of hers invited her to go to hongdae with their friends to see support his cousin who was busking. with permission, she went to hongdae and watched her friend's cousin who was singing urban zakapa's my love and suddenly fell in love with how her friend's cousin could easily portray emotions and feelings through singing. yet, at the time, boram just started listening to more songs, much of which were the ones sung that afternoon in hongdae (notable urban zakapa) and fell in love with music like r&b and indie.

for fun, boram would hum to songs she'd be listening to daily and would only sing in the shower because songs would constantly be stuck in her head. however, it wasn't until her and her friends went to a karaoke room after school and decided to have fun singing. what started off as a fun hobby of hers was quickly praised by her friends over how she suddenly became this amazing singer overnight. boram was quick to tell them off, saying she was nowhere near amazing and she just sounded like a horse. but when she decided to sing davichi's 8282, a song that was rather difficult to sing because of such high notes and varying tones, her friends couldn't help but be in awe and shower her in so many compliments that it became a bit overwhelming (especially since they just kept asking her to sing more). sure, her notes were shaky, but the power she had in such a small fifteen year old frame was unreal, especially when such a talent was never showcased to others before. after that day with her friends, she started to think about how she might actually be good at singing, and that they might actually be serious when they said she should consider a career in the music industry. after weeks of pondering and still enjoying her hobby, always finding time to hang out with friends in the karaoke room after school, she started taking music more seriously and found it as something she would like to pursue in the future.

her parents were aware that she started to sing more, even praising her every chance she got, but they never realized that singing was what she wanted to pursue in the future. it wasn't until her parents found a printed copy of the hanlim enrollment application in her room that they started to piece together her constant pleas of getting microphones and her constant singing that happened almost daily. when her parents confronted her, asking if she was considering hanlim, a performing arts school, after graduating middle school, all boram said was that she was thinking of becoming a singer and be a part of the music industry when she was older. at first, she thought they'd be mad at her for wanting to pursue a career in music, noting how she's heard horror stories of parents not accepting their children's wishes when it came to a musically-inclined career, but, surprisingly, her parents were very supportive as long as boram was happy and would stick with music.

˗ˏˋ adolescence ˎˊ-

숨죽여 쓴 사랑시가 낮게 들리는 듯해

(i think i can softly hear a love poem

that was silently written)

after sending her application and audition tape of her singing wheesung's can't we (which, evidently, may not have been the best song to practice and master considering how extremely difficult it is to sing; but boram managed fairly well), she successfully entered hanlim as an applied music student focusing in vocals; in addition, she started to take music and singing more seriously. in the process, she was able to make friends who shared the same dreams and passions as her, and her family was just as supportive as they were when she first told them about it. she started to improve more in singing, even dabbling a bit in dance through picking up a dance class in hanlim, and was one of the many people there who had a rather promising career as a vocalist ahead of them at the tender age of sixteen.

in 2013 (sixteen years old) in the summer before her second year in hanlim, she attended a public audition for a company (cube) and passed for vocals, officially beginning her career as a trainee. when she received her acceptance email and letter from cube, her parents were worried over boram since she would be away from extended periods at a time and her grades were declining when school started up again, but she always assured them that she was still okay and that she was always looking after herself. fortunately for her, cube was lenient on their trainees, and so, she was able to take breaks and stay home to make sure she'd be 100% when she'd return for mandatory training sessions.

˗ˏˋ adulthood ˎˊ-

너의 긴 밤이 끝나는 그날

고개를 들어 바라본 그곳에 있을게

(on the day your long night is over,

when you lift your head, i'll be right there)

currently, boram doesn't attend university, opting out of furthering her education. although her parents weren't so happy about this decision of hers (because, to them, education was very important), she assured them that being in the music industry was her calling and that she was sure she'd make it big one day, telling them that she'd repay them for everything they did for her up until this point. on most days when there's no schedule, she would spend it sleeping (or, more so, having sporadic naps), especially if it's after a long and tedious schedule; or she would spend free days practicing more recipes, to which her members would always be around to try the food. sometimes, when her sister's also free, she'd try to spend time with her and visit her family back in anyang (most of the time, her parents are working, especially on weekdays, but she'd try to visit on weekends when she knows they're off from work).

when she has free time between promotions, she's usually hanging out alone in the recording studio, the dance room to practice or even writing music either in the dorm or one of the two previousl mentioned (recording studio or practice room). she took up writing music as a way to cope and vent her feelings/emotions that were constantly in question for her. boram doesn't go out often, opting to go out if she's with someone else, because she finds it a bit awkward and scary to go alone, especially at night. plus, she likes going out with either another person or a group of people if they ask her, saying that she's more comfortable that way.

regardless of whether she's busy or not, she's always talking to her friends (and by friends, she usually means kookheon) via text and sometimes even through calls (voice and video calls, whichever she's up for at that moment) because she always enjoyed talking to kookheon, especially after everything he's done for her; but they never meet up unless it's with family due to their idol status coming in the way of their friendship in fear that rumors would start circulating and the knowledge of boram's dating ban being present.

as told through the lyrics of

'love poem' by soloist iu

trivia

˗ˏˋ likes animals (esp. cats), art, stationary, coffee, sweaters, music (esp. r&b and indie), movies/films (esp. romcom, indie and action), plants, sweets and pastries, writing (esp. music), travelling.

˗ˏˋ dislikes apples (has a mild allergy), failure, being left behind/set aside, liars, the educational system (gave her unwanted stress, ngl), spiders, wasting food, extreme weather, mess/clutter.

˗ˏˋ parents to note, her father owns pongdang brewery, one of the largest craft breweries in south korea, and manages a bar in itaewon called 'made in pongdang' while her mother is a journalism professor at korea university. (for her sister, see the relationship section below)

˗ˏˋ tattoos as mentioned in the appearance section, boram has a number of tattoos that fall within the same category of being a flower or butterfly. each tattoo means something: the two flowers near her shoulder (her first ever tattoo) is a matching tattoo with her adoptive sister that she got on her eighteenth birthday; the larger two flowers on her forearm represent her adoptive parents that she got when she was twenty, symbolizing that they helped her 'bloom'; the flower and butterfly on her stomach that she got when she was twenty-one represents her (the butterfly) and her current family, symbolizing that she found her safe haven with them; the butterfly on her shoulder that she got when she was twenty-two (her most recent one, which she got after she was told she was debuting) represents her and her new beginning with voltage, symbolizing a tribute to her 'new family'. as of right now, she doesn't want to get any more tattoos, but she's not opposed to getting them when the time's right.

˗ˏˋ chef she prides herself of her cooking, citing that if her idol career didn't pull through by the time she turned twenty-five, she'd spend time helping at her grandmother's noodle restaurant and expanding it to become a full-fledged restaurant. she thanks her sister, who works as an assistant chef at a michelin restaurant in seoul, and her adoptive grandmother, who, as mentioned, owns a small noodle restaurant in anyang, for getting her into cooking. in the dorm, she's typically the one making food and is always experimenting on off-days either by herself or with her other members who just want to watch a so-called "live cooking show". her best dishes are kimchi fried rice and various bokkeum as voted by her members and friends.

˗ˏˋ alcohol boram has an average alcohol tolerance. it's not exceptionally good, but she can still manage to hold it after her limit (which is five bottles of liquor). if she can, she'll opt to get alcohol with meals since she enjoys having an alcoholic drink paired, especially late at night. boram assumes she's fine with alcohol and likes it because of her adoptive father's business, but she actually likes it since it's a way for her to relieve stress and break free from her thoughts.

˗ˏˋ diets boram absolutely hates the idea of dieting and hates when the company forces her to diet. however, she'll still go on extreme diets to avoid any altercations with the ceo and staff members since she's known to have a slow metabolism and easily gains weight. when she goes on diets, it's usually just her eating healthier and going to the gym, but when she needs to reach a certain weight quota in x amount of weeks/days, she opts to eat really small meals (similar to the "iu diet") and spends extended hours practicing/exercising. she tries not to do extreme diets because she has a history passing out and throwing up because of extreme fatigue and dehydration.

˗ˏˋ academics she wouldn't pride herself in her studies, admitting that she wasn't a bright student when it came to subjects like math and science. she was okay in literature, especially when she was given creative liberty in stories and projects, and she was average in history. boram would say her rank was "fine", but she never admitted to the fact her rank was 63/100 at hanlim. her rank was steady thanks to her art classes (e.g. vocal, dance, fine arts, etc.) boosting her gpa. she always blamed her lack of studying in high school on her busy schedule as a trainee. this gave her a reason as to why she didn't want to go to college.

˗ˏˋ ptsd as much as she doesn't want to admit it, boram has ptsd from her childhood that she's learned to hide from the public. she always dismisses it, and whenever she herself gets physically abused, she takes it as is. but that doesn't mean that the following day she's okay. she suffers from insomnia (which she covers with keeping herself busy with making music and writing/reading), night terrors on some days (though not often), and flashbacks (especially when she knows she's being abused). boram does take medication to ease her symptoms, but she says it doesn't completely erase and ease the tension and memories she'll always have.

˗ˏˋ cube ent. the reason she joined cube was because, during late-middle school and high school, she was a fan of 4minute, noting them as the first kpop group she genuinely enjoyed. she especially liked gayoon and wanted to become a strong singer that sung with such passion and emotion like her. she even sang gayoon's i think it was a dream ost song for her cube audition. as a trainee, she met gayoon a few times and has expressed to her how she was her role model. despite 4minute disbanding and gayoon now being an actress, she still says gayoon is her role model.

˗ˏˋ (g)i-dle when she was still a cube trainee, she trained with soyeon and was rather close with her through produce 101. there was talks of boram and soyeon debuting together in a group, but it was never confirmed to the two. it wasn't until a few other trainees (minnie, soojin and yuqi) were grouped with them that it raised a few questions. however, when boram left cube in late-2017 and soyeon debuted with the others, it became apparent that boram was being set to debut for (g)i-dle, but wasn't told about it whatsoever. in short, yes, boram would have debuted under (g)i-dle had it not been for her scandal and evident drop from the company (likely being the main vocal/miyeon's position). she's not angry over not being able to debut in (g)i-dle, but she is upset that her promise with soyeon of debuting together was broken.

변함없이 그대로네

interview

could you please introduce yourself?

boram nods, her lips curving into a wide and genuine smile as she bows her head in respect, "hello, my name's shin boram and i'm currently 22 years old. please take care of me well!"

why do you want to become an idol?

"mm, that's a good question," she purses her lips forward in thought, figuring out the right words to piece together to give a well-developed answer so she doesn't seem stupid to the vice chairperson. after all, she knows harang will nitpick her choice of words and answer.

after a few seconds in thought, boram's able to develop a decent sentence that she's somewhat happy with, "since i was in secondary school, i always loved music and singing. i didn't originally think i was good, so i never thought of being a musician; but, after putting some thought into it and getting complimented and praised over my abilities at such a young age, i was encouraged towards a musically-inclined career. thus, leading me to wanting to become an idol who wants to tell her own story through music and her voice."

in response, harang hums but a hint of a smile appears before being hidden by an immediate blank expression. seeing that milisecond of a smile from the older woman, who has an evident history of being so stern and blunt to trainees, made boram feel less nervous and more comfortable in her presence. she couldn't help but smile at the thought of herself doing okay at that very moment.

what do you think being an idol is like?

"this wouldn't be my first rodeo in experiencing what an 'idol' is like, given my background in my previous company, so i know how stressful and chaotic it can get. knowing that, being an idol takes a lot of time and commitment, but the amount of effort and hard work you put into this dream dictates how being an idol ultimately becomes... if that makes sense," boram's last sentence trails off and becomes quieter, to which it catches harang's attention.

the older gives her own input on her answer, "shin boram, you need to be confident in your answer. it was well-put, but if you're not confident, you won't be taken seriously. so stop thinking and just speak confidently and truthfully, or else you'll get nowhere in life."

boram nods in response, but, evidently, was taken aback at harang's words, because it's something that she rarely hears from the older. was she hearing things? because it sounded less... harsh and more... genuine. was harang... okay? this wasn't like her usual self, but boram dismissed that thought going into the next question.

what are some goals that you are going to be setting for yourself?

boram could think of so many things, from what she wants to accomplish to what she wants to do in the future, but she settled for something that she always wanted for herself, "i want to be able to convey my own stories in music and i want to become a singer who can touch the hearts of many. i always aim for improvement, but my end goal is to become someone people look up to and thing 'ah, she's an amazing singer'. but, of course, i want to get awarded for my hard work with a daesang award on top of music show wins."

of all companies, why kjs?

"as you might know, i was a previous cube trainee, but it didn't end... amazing, i should say," harang raised a brow, knowing that she was in cube previously, but hearing that it didn't end well sparked an interest in hearing more about it. harang simply noted to interview deeper into that topic for another date.

boram continued, fiddling with her fingers, "so when i was scouted by a rep from kjs, i was unsure of whether or not i should join as a trainee, especially after leaving cube. so, i talked it out with a friend of mine and he ultimately said that it was a sign, that this was the sort-of 'second chance' fate was giving me. i'm not a huge believer of fate, but, after that talk with him, i started to take fate more seriously. and, long story short, i became a trainee here and i'm happy to have gotten this second chance."

harang couldn't help but hear the word 'he' and 'him' in her speech. knowing she has a history with dating, she was quick to emphasize strongly to boram, "this 'friend' of yours... is he an idol?"

boram gulped and simply nodded her head in response, which harang asked who and what their relation was. boram complied, telling her kookheon's name and how they know of one another. harang made sure to mark it under boram's notes of her extensive networking alongside the already-made note of her previous relationship with hongseok. "don't forget we have a dating ban of one year, so you two better not have anything going on within that year or else we'll need to rethink your standing with this company and the group itself."

boram nodded, but made sure to reassure harang that her and kookheon were just friends and nothing more. harang sternly commented that 'it better be' while boram just looked down and continued to play with her fingers.

해가 드는 창가 끝에 네가 앉고

relationships

신구름, 27 ˎˊ-

the ~~adoptive~~ older sister

played by soloist heize

i'm eternally grateful and thankful for everything she's done and given me. if it weren't for her, i don't think i'd be here right now.

read more →

judging from your kakao dp update, i see you went to paris without me. excuse me while i cry in french

금언니 ⛅

remi, i told you last week i was going to europe and i even asked you if you wanted to come

but you said you were busy with practice, so don't go crying over thiS

you don't conTROl me mOM. i'LL cRy in frencH until the dAY you come bAcK

금언니 ⛅

jfc you're such a mess

you don't deserve this LuXuRiOuS gift i got you when i was in paris. i'm giving it to mom.

if it's what i think it is then i take it back i love you unnie i'll visit you tomorrow i love you unnie

금언니 ⛅

i swear you just think i'm made of money at this rate, but yeah yeah yeah. visit when you can! i actually miss you for once ㅋㅋ

· since officially becoming a part of the family, gureum always pampered boram like an older sister should. sure, it was awkward when they first met, but gureum always wanted a younger sibling to have around and spend time with her. she always felt lonely as a kid, playing by herself at home on most days and only spending time with her classmates in school and school alone. gureum blames it on the fact that she was a rather clingy and attention-seeking kid, something that many of her peers saw as "too much", only hanging out with her because they had to. gureum was aware of their intentions as a kid, which caused her to feel rather lonely despite being so extraverted and full of energy. but when boram entered her life, she finally understood what it meant to actually have a friend and someone so likeminded as her, something she struggled to find in school.

· because their parents were always busy with work, gureum often took care of boram as if she was always part of the family. gureum was aware that her parents were away from them frequently, which meant boram rarely saw them on most days, so gureum always pulled her aside to spend time together and simply enjoy their presence. gureum was always boram's shoulder to cry on and she was thankful for her presence. she always knew the right things to do and say in order to comfort the younger and, honestly, boram considers her the older sister she always wanted. growing up, boram stuck by gureum, which emphasized how similar the two became in terms of interests and personality. they truly did everything together, and shared so many memories and tears together when it came to their own lives, and boram can't help but thank fate for putting them together when she was in her lowest point in life. boram always thanked gureum, even when her older sister never did anything worthy to be thanked over, but she just always felt the need to say it to her. in return, gurem always gave boram the love and support she truly and deeply needed, and she can't help but smile over how her younger sibling's grown to become this amazing and talented person she is today.

· now that gureum is busy with work and often travels, boram has no pillar to lean on as frequently as when they were still adolescents, but they do contact each other over text and call so they're updated in each other's lives; and whenever both their schedules open up a similar time slot, you can expect the two to do some sibling bonding time. their talks often consist of their personal lives and how they're holding up. there's times that they do feud, especially since boram always makes silly decisions that gureum can't help but voice her negative opinion towards, but, at the end of the day, they always laugh about it and share a moment of heartfelt compliments, especially from gureum to the younger.

estj. capricorn. slytherclaw. chaotic neutral.

· gureum is currently a full-time assistant chef at bistrot de yountville in seoul. her goal is to become the head chef, but when she's an "old halmoni", gureum wants to run their grandmother's noodle restaurant.

· as for her education, she first attended korea university for business administration and completed her undergraduate studies after three years. despite wanting to become a business-woman, she felt she was best fit in the culinary arts field. so, she made the drastic decision in attending le cordon bleu in paris, france, receiving the grand diploma for cuisine and pastries.

· gureum previously lived in paris for three years for school and getting work experience in culinary arts through working part-time in europe to expand her resume before coming back to korea. she liked paris a lot, but after staying for four years on her own, she felt as if her true calling was back home in korea; hence why she returned at the age of twenty-four and got her current job months after her return.

· more tba

김국헌, 22 ˎˊ-

the classmate turned brother

played by kookheon of b.o.y

there's not many people who know me personally. in fact, my social circle simply consists of family and him, and that's enough to keep me sane.

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hey

i'm hungry

국권이 💙 여동생

hi hungry i'm kookheon nice to meet you

jkjk but you know there's a thing called a kitchen where you can get food right? go eat something.

i AM eating, but there was no food in the kitchen so i'm eating an apple

국권이 💙 여동생

okay well, problem solved! enjoy your apple, ugli

국권이 💙 여동생

wait a hot second hOLD UP

YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO APPLES WHY ARE YOU EATING AN APPLE WHEN YOU'RE ALLERGIC

WTF ARE YOU DOING RN

YOU BETTER NOT DIE ON ME DO YOU HEAR ME

JUST SAY THE WORD AND I'LL DELIVER FOOD STRAIGHT TO YOUR DORM

SHIN BORAM ANSWER ME SO I KNOW YOU'RE STILL BREATHING

IF NOT I'M GONNA ASSUME YOU'RE DEAD AND I'LL SEND AN AMBULANCE ASAP

don't worry i'm still alive and breathing. i'll be fine

국권이 💙 여동생

"don't worry" she said. "i'll be fine" she said. yeah, not like sATAN didn't worry or anything so i'm gonna deliver snacks from that bakery you like and also medicine because i'M gOnNa WoRrY

i- god gave me an angel and that angel is you wtf

· kookheon and boram first met in middle school when they were the "new kids" in seoul, however, they rarely saw each other during that period of their lives because they were never put in the same class, only simply being acquainted through meeting in the principal's office to go over rules, expectations, etc. it wasn't until high school when they, weirdly enough, entered a performing arts school (hanlim) and became seat mates in the same class, taking on the same specialty (singing). though it took kookheon awhile to remember her, the two ultimately recognized each other from vaguely meeting in middle school and quickly got close after talking frequently between classes. high school consisted of a lot of studying together either at school or at one another's houses as they weren't actually far from each other, often taking the same train/bus together but getting off at different stops. they frequently visited each other's houses to the point that their families were familiar with each other; and, often, boram would get teased by her family (mainly her sister) that kookheon was "meeting the family (in other words: y'all gonna get married or?), but that thought never crossed boram's mind. whilst boram would get teased by her family, kookheon's parents were just in awe over the fact that he was able to remotely become friends with a girl let along talk to one, saying they've never seen kookheon spending time with people outside his group of guy friends.

· the summer before their second year, boram got accepted into cube which evidently made her busier, but kookheon would always try to find time inbetween her busy schedule to spend time together and catch up in-person or via text/video call. when school starts up again, boram became more drained and dead because her schedules were getting worse, but kookheon always looked after her through giving her banana milk and snacks in the morning, letting her nap between periods and even making sure she got to cube okay (because, at times, he'd go with her to the company and take a bus/train back home; but, most of the time, he would just text her, asking if she got there in one piece). of course, rumors started going around school that kookheon and boram were dating, especially after their classmates saw kookheon bringing her lunch one day after the many times he brough snacks for her, but the two always dismissed it, saying they're just really good friends and nothing more than that. the following year, kookheon got into musicworks and celebrated it with boram and his family. of course, his family started to begin thinking that kookheon and boram were dating since he didn't bother inviting anyone else but boram, but kookheon would just say that "even if boram did like me, i don't think i'd want to tarnish our friendship; we're better off as friends, i sense it" and left it at that. after the dinner celebration at his family home, it was just kookheon and boram in his bedroom playing a card game to pass the time before boram had to go home. that's when they started talking about how his family kept asking her if she was dating him, to which they, first, laughed at before getting serious with the topic. long story short, they felt they were better as friends because they truly didn't see each other as anything more than a brother and sister, and they were perfectly fine with being the best friends they've always been.

· beginning of 2016 hit and boram joined produce 101's first season alongside two other cube trainees and, whenever kookheon could, he would always try to watch boram perform live, feeling a sense of relief that boram was doing so well and making a name for herself, something he knew was the dream for his best friend. kookheon, on the other hand, was set to debut, finding out about it in the spring of 2016, so the two got busier with their personal schedules; however, since both of them didn't pursue their education after high school, they still managed to talk and meet up when they could. after the final episode of produce 101, especially, was when they started talking more (as there was a ban of technology use whilst filming). kookheon, who attended the final episode, watched as his best friend cried from both not making the lineup and seeing her colleagues make the IOI lineup, which only made kookheon cry as well (then boram saw kookheon crying and she just sOBBEd even more). after that eventful day, kookheon visited boram at her family home and just stayed with her the whole night, comforting her and telling her she did well.

· in may 2016, boram started dating hongseok, a fellow trainee at cube who was set to debut later that year, and kookheon was still busy preparing for his debut. the two got busier and, evidently, boram started spending more time around hongseok, but kookheon didn't mind it much since he was extremely busy himself; but when kookheon found out about it through boram telling him, he got worried, saying that it was going to be difficult for them since hongseok was going to debut and the misconception of dating as an idol, even more so a rookie idol, was seen poorly. as much as boram agreed that it'd be hard, she insisted that she was okay and hongseok was willing to risk it if it meant they were together. still, kookheon was wary and just kept insisting his own opinion, but boram only felt he was telling him she was wrong, taking it poorly and personally. because of this, boram and kookheon had their first verbal fight, ending rather badly.

· when summer of 2017 came, kookheon finally debuted in myteen, but boram only congratulated him via text. since their verbal fight over her dating hongseok, they've been distant and didn't talk to each other for nearly a year, but kookheon took it as boram wanting her space, and so he started making himself more busy to give himself a distration; on the other hand, boram was too busy spending time with hongseok and preparing for her so-called "debut" to even remotely think of what her best friend was doing. around the time kookheon debuted, that was also around the time the dating scandal with hongseok and boram appeared as a top search on naver. when that happened, boram immediately called up kookheon the night of the articles first being published and just bawled her eyes out, saying she was sorry and, after that, kookheon just kept telling her that everything was going to be okay; that she'd be okay soon. but as much as kookheon insisted to end things with hongseok, boram was insistent over them still dating because she loved him and he loved her. kookheon couldn't do much, but he knew in his gut that it was just going to lead to heartbreak for boram.

· in november of 2017, boram was officially kicked out of cube for still dating hongseok, to which hongseok immediately broke up with her after a long discussion with the ceo. at the time, kookheon was busy with mixnine, but he still received boram's texts. he couldn't do much about the issue and couldn't comfort boram much, but he told her that things happen for a reason and that he would make up for his absence when he completes his filming. to get her mind off things, boram would try to watch live filmings of kookheon on mixnine to see her best friend more and all she could feel seeing him was a sense of proudness and security (similar to kookheon watching her on produce 101).

· beginning of 2018 and mixnine completed, kookheon was able to fulfill his promise by spending time with boram at her family home once again. they talked about everything in the past few months and they talked about their own futures. boram told him about how she got scouted by a new company and didn't know if she wanted to join yet, but kookheon pushed her to join, saying this was the second chance she's been waiting for, insisting that her talent would be wasted if she didn't keep going towards a musically-inclined career. as much as boram was still wary over scheduling an audition with kjs, she felt that kookheon was one of the few people she should be listening to and taken seriously. after all, he warned her about hongseok, on multiple ocassions, and she didn't bother listening. so, boram scheduled an audition and passed, finding out about her results alongside kookheon via facetime.

· in march of 2019, kookheon took part in produce x 101 and boram did the same as she did before: going to watch the live filmings to support kookheon (and to support yuvin as well, someone she gradually got close to through kookheon). long story short, after kookheon got eliminated, boram was now the one there comforting kookheon who was crying over how he could've done better, telling him he did his best and he did well.

· now, kookheon and boram are just as caring and loving as they always were together. they often text each other, keeping each other in the loop over their lives and what they're up to. they sometimes meet up when they can, but it's not as often as before because of the heavy dating ban that kjs put up for their idols, but they still try to call or video call every once in awhile. the two continue to support each other through their own personal schedules and often uplift one another when they need it most. often, kookheon would be bringing up boram's mood through sending funny videos or telling her these cheesy dad jokes that he knows she'll appreciate and like. boram, being the extroverted person she is, does the same for him, and is evidently the one who always initiates/starts conversations and keeps it going.

isfp. aries. gryffinpuff. neutral good.

· kookheon often asked boram to cook for him, especially when they were home alone at each other's house. as much as boram hated cooking for him since it was constant, she'd usually give in because she liked cooking in general. so, he'd often watch her cook, only ocassionally helping here with things like cleaning the dishes or small cooking tasks (i.e. cutting, washing, etc.). she tried teaching him how to cook, but it nearly ended with the house burning down. boram would often make him jjigae, a reason why he's highly obsessed with jjigae.

· more tba

박우선, 29 ˎˊ-

the voltage manager

played by actor/idol hyungsik

i don't read people well, but something about him seems... off. he means well, but there's something unnerving about how he treats the other girls.

read more →

매니저님

boram-ah, don't forget about your schedule today. you have a shoot from 1400~1600, a music recording with yoon da from 1730~2000, and you need to run choreography with the girls and eunra at 1930 until who knows when.

i'll be bringing you to your shoot around 1315 so you get there before 1400 for makeup and hair. then i'll take you back to the company after, but it'll be your responsibility to make it to the dance studio by 1730 on the dot after recording.

got it, but next time, i would like the times in a more coherent manner so i don't have to do math, thank you very much.

매니저님

... i can see why your sister worries over how you can't do taxes or calculate tip for a bill. not like you need to since i do all the math for you, you incompetent child.

but check the time on your phone. i changed the settings so it's in that fancy shmancy military time

i- how did you even get into my phone ya crEEP

매니저님

i'm not a creep! i just know my sources.

and by sources, i mean gureum. i got her to change the clock display when you went to visit her after we had a heated argument over using military time.

and you two know i'm too lazy to change it back! ugh i hate you both. i'm getting YOU to change it back when you pick me up

· as much as boram wish she didn't know wooseon before formally meeting under kjs, for the sake of having a clean slate to their relationship, she knows of him personally through her sister who shared the same major and a number of classes together in college. from what her sister's said, wooseon tends to play favorites, notably dropping people he deemed "unimportant" when they're not doing their job or he simply didn't think they were bringing much to the table. he also tended to reach out to girls frequently, and whether that's because he liked them or because that's who he was most comfortable around was never clear to boram, but that just made her become wary over him. she sees the way he treats some of the girls, seeing who he seeminly favors more, and she can't help but feel a bit disgusted at his actions. sure he gives everyone attention and offers each of them the necessities they need, but the way he plays favorites to the girls, especially when they're so young and naive, is rather off-putting to her. luckily, she's been forewarned by her sister and doesn't put up with wooseon's bull to realize he may not be who he says he is. maybe that's why he treats boram so kindly, though; she's not one of his "favorites", and that's clear to her, but he still gives her a lot of attention and is always putting his good foot forward around her.

· when they interact, it's rather amusing. it's like a tom and jerry situation with boram always being mean and bratty to wooseon, to which he's always poking her back in return, but they both know that they keep each other sane, especially wooseon who's always making sure boram's not drunk at 2am or something as idiotic as such. they're always fighting, but they know that, without each other, they'd have no one to liven up their drives to schedules or have those funny yet snappy remarks through text. they assume it's because they share a mutual connection (gureum) and already know each other prior to formally meeting as manager and idol, and the two are okay with their already established relationship. after all, it makes for spicy and entertaining days in the voltage dorm/van, which she's happy to say that her members enjoy watching.

mbti. zodiac. house. true neutral.

· as mentioned, wooseon and gureum (boram's sister) are the same major (business administration) and took a number of classes together in university. although a year apart, they were seatmates and were paired for projects together on a number of occasions. there was also a time when wooseon asked gureum out, but gureum rejected his offer because she was going away to europe to study and didn't want to do long distance (in reality, it's because she didn't like him when he asked lmao). they still talk every once in awhile, but that's mainly to talk about boram so they don't chat often.

· more tba

양홍석, 25 ˎˊ-

the ex-boyfriend turned stranger

played by hongseok of pentagon

all i can remember is him ending things, thinking it was healthier for us; but all i was left with were scars and wounds that wouldn't heal.

read more →

양홍석씨

hey. i know i'm the last person you want to hear from, but congrats on your upcoming debut.

thanks, hongseok.

양홍석씨

i know you'll kill it, as you always do

ㅋㅋㅋ

thank you and uh... i'm sorry, but i'm still not really comfortable talking to you.. or at least right now i'm not.

양홍석씨

it's okay, i understand. it was two years ago, but what i did to you was unforgiveable.

just remember i'm here if you need anyone to talk to.. i still care about you.

· hongseok and boram met through training together when he entered cube in july, 2015 whilst boram was there since 2013. what started as just trainee friends who simply had a mutual friend group and similar training schedules soon developed into mutual feelings towards one another. neither of them remember why and how they got together in the first place, but all they remember is that they got together after hongseok invited boram to eat out at a small restaurant near their company after practice in may of 2016. of course, hongseok knew, at the time, he was going to debut and was taking part in pentagon maker with other trainees they were close with, and boram was aware of it as well since word did spread fast in cube, but hongseok was insistent that he was deeply in love with boram and wanted to make it work. so, they managed their relationship in secret from the others, especially from their company who would ultimately dislike the idea of hongseok and boram dating.

· much of their relationship consisted of late night practices together and eating together in the company's cafeteria because of pentagon maker's evident popularity in korea. they rarely met outside of the company, only being seen outside when they were with a larger group (but even then, they couldn't do anything like holding hands or hugging, noting that they would be seen as strange to the public). but every minute they spent together was full of love and affection. they often held hands and stayed in each other's arms, talking about their days and how much they loved being around each other. hongseok was evidently a romantic and loving person, something boram wanted in a significant other. she loved being around hongseok and hongseok loved being around her. the feelings were there, and they were holding true and strong through their strenuous schedules and behind closed doors. they made love, they gave each other love, and boram was so sure that hongseok was the man she would marry. they made it work for a year, but months after their one year anniversary, things started to look sour for the two.

· when their dating scandal came out in august of 2017, hongseok was quick to say they were only friends and kept it at that, which was the statement cube released. of course, boram got upset over how he could lie like that when, clearly, the pictures looked like they were on a date. but he just told her, holding her hands in the process, that he said what he said because it was best to release it that way so their careers weren't in jeopardy. though wary and still upset, when hongseok held boram in his arms at her family home (because it was the safest option to meet) and made love to her that night, she couldn't help but think that hongseok was right. it was for the best, wasn't it?

· despite it all, they continued to date; but, in september of 2017, cube reps saw the two together in the trainee locker room holding hands, to which the situation was brought to the ceo's attention. after being called up and having a long discussion with the ceo, they were told to split and that boram was to be dropped as a trainee. despite all the love and care boram though hongseok had towards her (or what she thought was love), he was quick to agree with the ceo and break up with boram. that's when she realized something she was blind to: hongseok simply cared about himself, his own career, and boram was simply a side pierce he had around.

· since their breakup, boram and hongseok rarely talked and, whenever they saw each other, boram is quick to turn the other cheek and ignore his presence. whenever boram would ignore hongseok, the male can't help but feel a sharp pain in his chest after all these years. he admits that what he did to boram and how their relationship evidently ended was wrong, he 100% admits to it, but he still cared and loved her. maybe not much as when they were together as a couple, but there was still a bit of him that still cared and wants to have her around, even if it was only for a quick second. but the more she ignores him, and he knows he deserves it, the more sad he feels which only makes him angry over his thoughts and actions to boram. yet boram could care less for hongseok, but the love they shared and had for each other would always be something she would hold dear to her. after all, they were each other's first true loves and it's never easy getting over your first love.

isfj. aries. ravenpuff. lawful good.

· unknown to everyone (minus kookheon and gureum because- duh), hongseok was the one to take boram's ity and the same goes for boram to hongseok. both inexperienced and just too deep in the moment, they made love in hongseok's room in pentagon's dorm when all s went out to eat without him (since hongseok said he was going to eat with boram). what first started as a heated makeout session while watching a movie turned into something more in a matter of minutes. since then, they frequently made love when they were in the mood to; and, most of the time, it was either at boram's family house (to which they tried being as quiet as possible in fear that gureum would hear across the hall) or in pentagon's dorm when all s were away.

· the pentagon members were the only people in cube that knew of their relationship because hongseok's homescreen was of the two of them and they often saw boram's name pop up in his notifications. at first, they were wary over their relationship, but, after talking about it, they supported the two and found the two cute together. through this, boram's well acquainted with s because they'd often appear when hongseok would call her. she even has some of the members saved on her kakao.

· after their breakup, of course the pentagon members were sad because they liked boram as a friend and fellow cube artist. but after hearing what happened through hongseok, they couldn't help but blame both hongseok and cube for their evident breakup. sure, they understood the situation, but they felt hongseok could've went about it in a better way.

· despite everything, boram still kept, and still keeps, in contact with some of the pentagon members because they became good friends of hers over the years: kino (because they went to hanlim together and trained together, having the same group of trainee friends), hui (because they entered cube around the same timeframe and often wrote songs together for fun), edawn (because for the same reason as hui; also got closer after he departed cube) and yeoone (because they entered cube around the same time, having the same group of trainee friends, and are relatively close in age). hongseok isn't aware that boram's still in contact with some of s, but he assumes she is because he knew how close she was with them.

· more tba

나도 옆에 앉아 노래를 부르면서

ending

your alias

angie.

username

chimaek.

activity

seven (and a half) out of ten.

comments

˗ˏˋ 191221, 21:12 idk where to put it bUT i see kjs only scouting her because she's already a familiar face in the industry with her placing 13th in produce 101, cube not putting her into I.B.I because they were planning for her debut (so fans of hers were waiting patiently for her debut under cube) and also her scandal with hongseok. since jeonsik is power-hungry, he thought scouting boram would be beneficial since she's already a familiar face and has a following waiting for her to debut.

˗ˏˋ 191222, 23:16 ngl i seriously considered making kookheon boram's l/i, but i felt like i wrote them to the point they'd never see each other outside of being friends lmao but i thought i'd give a whole back story on the two's friendship to better grasp their thoughts and feelings towards each other :') also because i feel like kookheon's heavily in boram's life (even more than gureum) soooo yeah lmaoo

˗ˏˋ 191228, 24:07 i didn't realize how loOOOoOng i made the l/i section sdlkfgjh- i just got lost in their story bc boram deserves tlc and seungwoo was such a good match y'know ;'( i love my two babies and i hope they can be happy together at some point in the story.

˗ˏˋ 200102, 11:36 so like seungwoo got into a dating scandal with eunji (which came out as false from play m and eunji herself), so ngl that might be added to their already long love story or as a trivia under their rs bc that caN't go unnoticed when i have them getting close in 2020 !!!

˗ˏˋ 200103, 24:31 don't @ me over how long her background is because i seRIOUSly got lost in the story and wanted to put a lot of details and angst into it ;;;

˗ˏˋ 200103, 02:18 kept the personality sections short for the time being because this app started getting laggy bc of how many words/characs there are altogether LMAO but i might revisit them another day (or maybe not bc i'm hella lazy rip). but anyway thAT MARKED THE LAST BIT AND NOW THIS APP IS FINISHED SDLKGJ i hope you like my child and give her tlc < / 3 she was inspired by my 2am thoughts and iu's song love poem in addition to a number of other lowkey sad songs. there are parts that still need editing or need more added, but i'm literally dea d and i didn't wanna overwhelm myself and lag this app even more so- i hope you liked what i currently have up!

scene suggestions

˗ˏˋ one honestly boram x gureum and boram x kookheon would be everything :'')

˗ˏˋ two boram taking the blame for one of her members and getting physically abused by a staff member/the ceo for it because she'd rather see herself getting hurt over someone else ("it's okay. i've been through this before. i've experienced this already. i don't want you to ever experience this sort of treatment. ever.")
˗ˏˋ more to be added soon.

password

if you mean as a solo, she'd rather do a soft song with meaningful lyrics like across the universe / maybe it's not our fault by baek yerin that becomes a highly covered song by other idols. she also wouldn't be opposed to doing stronger songs like spark by taeyeon. as long as she's showcasing her vocals more, she's fine doing any of the above songs (though she'd personally prefer soft and sentimental songs; other artists that can be considered are iu, taeyeon and jimin park).

but if you mean as a whole group, deja vu by dreamcatcher would likely suit boram since it's both emotionally lyrical and calls for a strong performance. she could easily showcase her singing well with deja vu. she probably wouldn't like doing ier songs, feeling uncomfortable, but she's perfectly fine with strong songs that showcase her talents more.

시간들을 보냈는데

now playing

voltage's

sira (시라)

02:46

04:19

talent

vocal and dance.

her primary talent is vocal, excelling in singing and being so-called "top tier". boram's noted to be very versatile and has a strong vocal color that sets her apart from other vocalists in the k-industry.
her secondary is dance. though she admits she's an above-average dancer, one that would likely not be a main dancer of a group, she's noted to be very versatile with good stamina and energy.

talent twin

siyeon of dreamcatcher.

stage name

sira, 시라.

originally, she was going to use her given name, but decided not to because of a stigma left from her previous company being attached to her name. so, she thought of mashing up her surname and given name, resulting in 'sira'. after awhile, she started getting used to being called 'sira,' especially after finding out that it meant glowing / shining and it originated from the brightest star called 'sirius'. with that in mind, she says she wants to become a glowing and bright star in someone's (read: her fans) dark sky.

trainee years

roughly 6 total years.

cube: june, 2013 to nov., 2017
kjs: mar., 2018 to present

trainee life

keys: cube, produce 101, kjs.

in 2013, boram first entered cube through an audition process. at the time, she was still rusty when it came to singing and dancing, visibly being outed for her lack of coordination and vocal stability upon entering. however, she knew that she wanted to sing and be noticed for her talents. so, she spent much of her late nights practicing and bettering herself. whether it was alone in her bedroom or alongside trainers after practice, or even during lunch breaks that she continuously missed, she worked and worked and worked until she felt she was showing a version of herself that she was proud of.
her hard work, after a few years, paid off, landing herself a spot in participating in produce 101 in 2016. at first, participating was nowhere near her thoughts, especially since it was the same as training normally; but she wanted to experience the idol life of performing on stage in front of people, with the addition of expanding her knowledge and hearing critique from strangers. after all, she's been under cube since 2013 and hasn't seen much success in debuting despite a number of rumors and talks about a girl group debuting.
after becoming a success in produce 101, the ceo had told her she'd finally be debuting, which caused her to be pulled out of the I.B.I lineup that consisted of the produce 101 girls that couldn't make it into IOI but were ranked high. she continued to train, excitedly waiting for her debut. she started to dabble in songwriting, working with a fellow trainee and produce 101 contestant named jeon soyeon, and she felt as if they'd debut together in the same group or even as a duo. however, things started to look sour for her after her dating scandal with hongseok in 2017, a few months after they got together. of course, the ceo was upset, especially since hongseok, at the time, was still considerably a rookie idol whilst boram was still prepping for debut. long story short, boram's time with cube was cut short after she was kicked out of cube for still dating hongseok months after cube responded with the statement that they were just friends.
but, a few months after leaving, boram found herself being scouted by kjs, auditioning and immediately getting accepted. she can't help but admit that cube may have better trainers than kjs. sure, the trainers and coaches were helpful and gave their honest opinions and critiques towards her, but she has to admit that she felt safer under cube compared to kjs. but, at the same time, boram needs to put kjs higher in terms of having a good trainee life overall. sure she had an amazing time under cube and, admittedly, found a sense of creative freedom and security, but she had to admit she saw more success here than in cube. people would find her insane over that, especially when you know boram went through produce 101, ranking thirtheenth, and appeared in a number of music videos; but in terms of actually debuting, she felt set in kjs. maybe it's because kjs was newer and the plan for debut has been in the works since she entered, ultimately confirming her own debut based on the number of trainees at the time, but she still felt like her path to finally debuting was close by. and so, she kept working hard and making the most out of all the training and practice she's went through.
while in kjs, her trainee years primarily consisted of her practicing and training for extended hours a day. she still managed to make time for friends and family, especially during holidays and weekends, but boram dedicated a lot of time to perfecting her singing and improving her dancing. she had her years of training under cube to help her in improving on top of the coaches she saw in kjs during practices and evaluations. because she didn't continue her education, she spent nights in the practice room, analyzing and recording her work for her and her trainers to review. she wanted things to be perfect, noting that she needs to focus and work hard so she can debut faster. boram didn't want another cube situation to happen, and she surely didn't want it when she was given this second chance to stardom.

˗ˏˋ produce 101, season 1.

as mentioned, she took part in produce 101, season 1 with two other cube trainees (jeon soyeon and kwon eunbin) where she ranked 13th in the final episode. she was scheduled to debut in the project group I.B.I with other top-ranked contestants who didn't make it into IOI, but cube pulled her out due to so-called "plans of debut".

˗ˏˋ music video appearances.

she appeared in a total of three music videos under cube prior to her departure:
[1] it's okay by btob (june, 2015) as an art student (extra).
[2] pretty pretty by pentagon (jan., 2017) as a schoolgirl & chungha's friend (extra).
[3] violet by pentagon (nov., 2017) as the leading girl (this was filmed and edited prior to departing from cube).

articles

keys: cube, family, future.

much of the articles pertaining to boram are related to her past. when she's revealed to be part of voltage, netizens start to speculate what happened in cube, considering there's been talks of her debuting or doing some promotions, especially with her high ranking on produce 101. some possible articles include (but are not limited to):

˗ˏˋ shin boram, ex-cube trainee and rank 13 from produce 101's first season, to debut under voltage as sira. posted june, 2019.

upon the announcement of boram debuting under voltage, her predebut experience (produce 101 and being a cube trainee) is brought back up. though many are excited for her debut, especially considering how popular she was on the show, many wonder why she's suddenly debuting under kjs rather than cube.

˗ˏˋ voltage's sira kicked out of cube for dating scandal with pentagon's hongseok? posted june, 2019.

related to the above article, boram's dating scandal became a topic of discussion as a possible reason to her departing cube and entering kjs. many note she had a promising career under cube, though kept under wraps, but her dating scandal with hongseok in 2017 matched too well with her training years under kjs that was released (2 years, making her start in 2018). this was something that many netizens could see happening, especially considering hyuna and edawn were supposedly "kicked out" of cube for their own dating scandal in 2018. this rumor would likely be left in the air with no confirmation of it being true or not.

˗ˏˋ leaked documents show voltage's sira is an adopted orphan child.
posted 2020/2021.

there's going to be a time when boram's family history will come to light, and knowing how power-hungry her company is, it's likely that they'll be the first to release it just to get voltage on the front page of the news (through tipping off dispatch). though sinister, boram felt it would come at some point, but going as far as leaking her private documents was far from her mind. of course there's misconceptions of being an orphan, let alone being adopted, but many people (fans especially) praise boram for going through a difficult child-hood and being able to see success as an idol. though there are netizens who see boram in a bad light for being an orphan, many see her life story as inspirational, making her a highly-talked about idol. nothing pertaining to why she was put in an orphanage and up for adoption isn't disclosed, but papers of her adoption and orphanage is.

˗ˏˋ best friends of the new decade: sira of voltage and kookheon of b.o.y (ex-myteen). posted jan., 2020 but has been talked about since aug., 2019.

what started as a twitter thread of pictures and videos of boram and kookheon back in high school by a sira fan who found it through sources, quickly became a trending talk on naver after kookheon played voltage's debut song (after a commenter asked if he listens to voltage) and brought up his friendship with boram on his instagram live. he talked kindly of boram and how they've been best friends since high school, stating that, if he was given a test on boram, he'd probably get an A+ (he jokingly added that boram would get a C+ because she was never a good test taker). days later, boram would host a vlive, to which someone would ask if she saw kookheon's insta live. immediately, she'd start defending herself by saying she'd get an A++ because she knows kookheon better than he knows himself, even going as far as calling kookheon to test her for fun (to which she knew some of the answers, but not all of them). the vlive with boram calling kookheon became a trending topic on naver and twitter over how the two are "best friend goals". the pictures and videos from the thread on twitter quickly went viral alongside the post of their friendship. because of this, talks of the two collabing have been circulating.

네 어깨 나의 어깨

love interest

한승우, han seungwoo

back ups

yeo one of pentagon. stylist hong yisook.

occupation

idol & leader of victon and, currently, x1.

date of birth

december twenty-four, 1994.

personality

infj. capricorn. gryffindor. neutral good. enneagram four.

infj. capricorn. gryffindor.
neutral good. enneagram four.

· prides himself on learning, reading and understanding those around him alongside his own self. seungwoo enjoys learning and expanding his knowledge, whether it's of the feelings of those around him or of how he can improve himself.

· introverted to a fault, but is considerably social once he gets comfortable with someone or if the situation calls for him to speak up. he does, however, prefer to figure things out on his own first before reaching out to others.

· always puts his best foot forward, making sure he puts 120% into everything he does. he wants others to see him at his best and showcase his best works through music.

· is rather competitive and can become very emotional when he doesn't see the results he wants to see. seungwoo aims for success, simply because it gives him proof and assurance that he did well. in relation, he's very ambitious.

· is rather 4-dimensional in the sense he can get a bit quirky when he gets comfortable around others. at one moment, he's quiet and keeping to himself; and the next, he's initiating skinship and is all bubbly around people.

· extremely protective of his love ones and only wants to see them happy, reminding them that he's there to support and care for them when they need it. he's often taking up roles such as the leader and father to s, and he tries his absolute best to be a good "older brother" to s and family.

· never complains, and i mean never. he feels it's not worth it to complain over things, especially when they're small issues that can be easily fixed. the only time you'll hear him complain is when people don't listen to him, but even then, he'll just smile when people start listening.

· the type of friend you'd call up at any given hour of the day and will answer regardless of the circumstance and time. seungwoo's willing to lose sleep if it means that his friends are able to end the day on a good note. he's also the type to take care of you when you're sick or feeling down.

· a whole all-rounder; there's literally nothing seungwoo can't do. he's the type to pick up a hobby and immediately master it (or at least after trying it a couple of times and figuring it out). this simply just shows that he works hard for perfection and picks up passions rather quickly.

· a not-so-secret romantic. when he get close to you, you know he's in love when he starts to seemingly melt in your presence. seungwoo will be quick to hold you tight, not wanting to let go, and will keep showering you in so much love and affection he can possibly give. he'll also be as bold as to give gifts when he feels the need to. in other words, wholesome.

love story

˗ˏˋ the exposition.

boram doesn't remember when she told kookheon of this puppy love towards his friend and fellow produce 101 contestant, but she does remember his reaction to her even mentioning the older male's name. kookheon wouldn't let her live it down about how she instantly got attracted to someone she's never met before and has only seen on tv, with the occasional in-person-but-far-away interactions when she would watch kookheon during his produce days. instantly, this seemingly mild crush only increased kookheon's curiosity over when

and why and how, and boram would only respond with a one-dimensional look through her phone screen, only stating that this was normal, that any normal person and fan would fall for idols without meeting in person. it. was. normal. but, in kookheon's eyes, it was funny and interesting to him. after all, this was shin boram, his best friend since high school, having a measly crush on his hyung and good friend.

국권이 💙 여동생

so... han seungwoo, huh?

shut the up, kooks

since the day she told her best friend, he's always been pestering her over how he could give seungwoo's number to her "free of charge", and boram has never once regretted telling him anything until this point. she trusts kookheon with everything, yes, and she's told him about crushes way back in high school; but this time around... boram's willing to get arrested for murder if it meant he'd shut up about her small crush towards seungwoo. but even so, a bit of her regrets saying 'no' to the offer.

after awhile, and with kookheon still saying he can give seungwoo's number to her, he started to make up scenarios in his head, telling boram that her and seungwoo would actually look good together, that seungwoo would treat boram in the absolute best way possible. boram couldn't help but blush at the thought of her and seungwoo together, but at the same time, she knows that this puppy love wouldn't last and that it'll fade as time goes by. when kookheon would say such things, all boram could respond with was a chuckle, because she knows those are just silly scenarios that only happen in fanfics and dreams. hell, seungwoo doesn't even know she exists in the first place let alone have time to even get to know her. so why would they ever end up together in real life?

˗ˏˋ the beginning.

awhile after produce 101 ended and x1's official lineup was announced (july of 2019), kookheon went to hang out as a sort-of last hurrah before the boys officially parted ways from the show with a few of his friends: yuvin, jinhyuk, seungyeon, sejin, wooseok, byungchan and seungwoo. yes, the han seungwoo joined the

group one last time, and boram just had to call her best friend while he was out.
what first started off as asking what his mother would like as a gift for her birthday (as she felt it was only fair since she sees kookheon's mother as a second mother to her), ended with her talking to a few of his friends after being awkwardly introduced to each of them, including the guy she always gets teased over by her best friend. over the call, she suddenly became self-conscious over how she looked, saying random things like she looked like "trash" and her bare-faced self "wasn't pretty"; but hearing such comment caused an uproar with the other males, saying she was effortlessly pretty and should stop lying. for once in her life, she was complimented over her looks from people who seemed genuine and didn't only say it because she was an idol. for once she felt... pretty.

after hanging up, boram was a flustered mess, telling herself that her first impression seungwoo had of her was off-putting with her no-makeup self. almost instantly, she went to one of her members, retelling her awkward interaction with someone "too handsome for words" and how she made a fool of herself in the process.

on the other hand, all the guys started pestering kookheon over who the girl was, asking things like if they were dating or if boram was his crush which only made him laugh at the thought of even calling boram a girl overall. simply put, kookheon told everyone that boram's like a sister and has been single since 2017, emphasizing that, if they ever wanted to get close with her, they'd need his permission first and foremost. almost instantly, kookheon was bombarded with questions pertaining to getting boram's number or getting him to introduce them face-to-face (of course, just as a joke). however, the only person kookheon was focused on was the most indifferent person who was simply eating the food in front of him. out of the blue, kookheon called out seungwoo, asking what his personal thoughts were on boram since he hasn't pestered him yet. all the older male said as a response was "she's cute, i guess". kookheon made a mental note to himself to tell boram about seungwoo's comment after he gets done dinner.

you idiot, you made me a fool in front of aLL YOUR GOOD-LOOKING FRIENDS INCLUDING SEUNGWOO. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME. WHY DO YOU HATE ME.

국권이 💙 여동생

excUSE me, but the only important thing here is that seungwoo called you cute all on his own. you're welcome, you ungrateful iDiOt

... i'm gonna call you again. i need to spazz to someone.

boram found herself talking to kookheon while he was, again, with seungwoo (with the addition of wooseok and jinhyuk). it wasn't kookheon's plan to have seungwoo with him when he'd call up boram to congratulate her on her group's comeback (either late 2019 or early 2020?) at 12am, but jinhyuk insisted on having seungwoo and wooseok stop by the dance studio to chill inbetween their busy schedules with them. when boram, tired as hell and with a voice drained from practice, answered groggily with a "thank you", jinhyuk and the others were quick to compliment boram and her group. of course, boram being boram, started whining over how kookheon somehow always calls her when she's not her best, trying her best to not mention how seungwoo was with him. her best friend laughed, and so did the other three who were playfully listening to boram's whining. ending it with a "sleep then, idiot", boram grunted, greeting the boys a "good night to everyone, minus kookheon" and hanging up, not letting kookheon say anything else.

after the call, seungwoo commented over how boram seemed "cute and nice", noting that her sleepy-tone was rather adorable (to which jinhyuk and wooseok agreed to). in a playful and teasing manner, kookheon nudged seungwoo, asking if he wanted her number. shaking his head, seungwoo backed out of the offer, saying it was just a comment he wanted to say and nothing more than that. however, that didn't stop kookheon from giving his hyung boram's kakao id after they parted ways.

한승우 형

hey, kookheon. i had fun! this was really needed, so thanks ㅋㅋ

anytime hyung ^^ just call me up when you wanna hang again ㅋㅋㅋ

oh, and just so you have it

this is boram's profile (not the name obvi bc like,,, that's my name for her heh) and her id is baromssi2697. your mouth may have said no, but ik your eyes said yes. so, you're welcome

˗ˏˋ the rising action.

it's been a week since kookheon gave seungwoo the girl's id, but seungwoo didn't know what to do with it. in fact, he wasn't expecting kookheon to be serious when he said that he'd give him her contact so willingly, moreover without her permission (or, at least, that's what seungwoo suspected). with an empty chat with the girl opened, which he generically saved her as '신보람씨', he started to type out introductions, only to delete it seconds later. he wanted to piece together a good enough introduction that didn't sound too creepy, but didn't sound too forced either. should he first say his name? no, he wanted it to be mysterious and add suspense (a stupid reason, as his friends would say). should he say 'good afternoon'? no, that sounded way too formal. in the end, he settled with a simple '안녕?', hoping she's the type to reply quickly.

after a few minutes with no reply, he started to worry. after all, he didn't ask for her id personally, so he started thinking that he was invading her privacy. or maybe she thought it was a saesang that got a hold of her id? he just hoped she wasn't responding because of busy schedules and neither of the latters. if all else failed, though, he'd just blame kookheon for it.

as if on cue, boram replied, which perked seungwoo's immediate attention:

hello?

신보람씨

uuuh hello? sorry, who's this??

han seungwoo. uum.. this is shin boram-ssi right? kookheon gave me your id.

신보람씨

ah.. it is, but i can't really believe you through text. so if it's not a bother, can you send a pic as proof that you're seungwoo-ssi?

hopefully i'm not intruding or anything. kookheon just gave me your id and i didn't want to be rude and not message you.

as much as boram found it strange that seungwoo, of all people, was willingly texting her (making a mental note to yell at kookheon when she got the chance to for giving her kakao id to him), she was just as willing to keep the conversation going.

as months passed (early/mid-spring of 2020), the two surprisingly got closer and casually got to know each other through kakao. they learned about each other's interests and hobbies, noting that they actually had a number of things in common. from their love for music and why they started in the music industry to how deeply meaningful their tattoos are to them, they found it both strange and thrilling. they started to get comfortable texting each other, even sending pictures to update one another on their daily lives (which they, too, shared similar lifestyles). yet, of course, boram didn't want to open up about her deeply personal life to seungwoo, no matter how much she felt he can be trusted over it. but she knows that, if it ever came up in conversation, she wouldn't hesitate to tell seungwoo about it. after all, he was slowly becoming a sort-of "safe haven" to her, and she was thankful to have someone so understanding and trusting as him.

seungwoo, in turn, felt like he finally had someone who can understand him outside of his own family and groups. of course, he still reached out to them when he wanted someone to talk to, but with boram, it felt... different. he shared a lot of deep talks with boram that he's afraid to bring up to s, let alone with his family, but for some reason, he trusted boram with things outside of the spectrum. whether it was personal issues or even being in a music slump, boram was always someone who was willing to listen and give her honest thoughts on it. you can say seungwoo appreciated the honesty that boram held, especially since those around him would only tell him things he wants to hear rather than what he should hear. he was thankful for boram and, more so, thankful he was able to give back to boram when she was in similar stress and anxiety as him.

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boram remembers the very first time she ever called seungwoo. she was in a music slump, awake at 1am (as she always is), and she knew no one else but seungwoo was up. that was something they ~~unfortunately~~ had in common: their bodies would be dead tired, but for some reason, their brains were wide awake at nearly 2am. as much as the two advocated for people to get a good night's rest in order to recharge for the days to come, they, themselves, would be up until sunrise, only getting a mere 3 or less hours of sleep daily. luckily, they were fortunate enough to have each other when they couldn't fall asleep, just talking and sharing videos they'd be watching after midnight.

it was a random night at 1am (mid-spring of 2020) and boram was in the living room of her dorm, messing around with a synthesizer and her laptop, music sheets and journals full of lyrics (or what presumed to be lyrics) sprawled on the couch and floor. she couldn't figure out what would sound best or at least good enough that both her and yoon da would be proud of. in fact, this was her third time dabbling with these sort of equipment, so she knew she had more to learn and offer. yet she felt like, the more she tried making it better, the more it got messy.

as if fate wanted to play around, seungwoo texted boram, asking if she was up. immediately, boram messaged back, saying she was having trouble fixing the mess that was her "first produced song". while boram was racking her brain around what to do, a voice call from seungwoo flashed on her phone and an alarm rang through her airpods. that late night call of seungwoo helping boram with her music became one of many voice calls and memos being sent back and forth.

oddly enough, boram was the one to initiate their first video call. at midnight (mid/late-spring of 2020), boram accidentally video-called seungwoo through kakao, misclicking to voice call him. almost immediately, she hung up, knowing that, a, he might be trying to sleep because of a busy schedule the following morning and, b, she looked "ugly".

a few minutes later of boram panicking that she video-called and just immediately hung up, seungwoo video-called back. jolting to her bed and fixing her hair, she covered her face with a plush she received from a fan and answered. obviously tired and out of it, seungwoo asked why she called, to which boram said it was an accident and that she felt bad for the same usual reasons of disturbing his sleep. all seungwoo said to the flustered girl was that she was "cute" and that she would never nbe a nuisance, that he would respond to her video calls regardless.

after seungwoo continuously calling boram cute, to which she'd just respond by shaking her head and emitting quiet grunts, they started talking about how they've been and how they're holding up. that night was the first of many video calls that they'd have together, especially when it came to seungwoo who was seemingly obsessed with wanting to see boram's cute face and hearing her cute voice.

˗ˏˋ the .

boram was the first to start liking seungwoo. not because she was in awe over him during his produce 101 days, noting him as one of her top picks (next to kookheon), but because she reminded her of all the things hongseok couldn't be to her. she liked the way seungwoo was always willing to listen to her and help her when she needed guidance or was stuck in a tough situation. she liked how seungwoo laughed at her stupid jokes and when she would whine to him over her looks, giving her compliments and affection through a measly phone screen. she just... loved all of him. it was no longer this small infatuation of a fan to their idol, and it became apparent to her that seungwoo was becoming more than an idol but rather a human being she was sharing a deep connection with; and she appreciated that.

as for seungwoo, he started thinking of boram differently after he hung out with kookheon and jinhyuk at the x1 dorm (mid/late-2020). kookheon knew that his best friend and his hyung were talking, though not stating the fact that boram would always be talking to him about everything; so, he asked seungwoo about how talking to boram was and what he was feeling. at first, seungwoo said she was a good friend, that they give each other a lot of advice and uplift each other when they're down. he told him and jinhyuk, who was just chuckling over seungwoo talking about boram, about how they have late-night calls and deep conversations outside of their texts, to which they even shared photos back-and-forth to one another. after seungwoo basically praised and flaunted his friendship to his two friends, kookheon then asked what he hated about boram to which seungwoo said he simply hated how she can be a little wild when it came to her health and well-being (i.e. she lacks sleep, doesn't eat properly, etc.) and wishes for her to change that. laughing, jinhyuk said that it sounded like a boyfriend worrying about their girlfriend, to which seungwoo just dismissed it. but kookheon couldn't help but agree, noting that this was the first time seungwoo has ever cared so deeply for a girl that's not his immediate family.

later that night, seungwoo went to talk with wooseok saying "hypothetically, if a guy has a friend who's a girl and enjoys talking to her and seeing her, even through video call, but hates that she's not putting her health and well-being first and wants to help her by, i don't know, taking her out to eat or giving her medicine even if it's 1am, but doesn't initiate it whatsoever, what does that mean?". wooseok was taken aback at the weird question, but he simply asked if this guy likes the girl as more than a friend. seungwoo, after sitting in silence to ponder, said "say, hypothetically, he likes her, but as a good friend but finds them pretty and cute and wants the best for them; this guy always compliments her and showers her in said compliments and affection because he thinks that's what the girl deserves". wooseok just laughed, telling him honestly: "sounds like this guy likes her more than a friend and should grow some balls to ask her out and by guy i mean you; i know this is about you and boram and i know you well enough to say that i'm 99.9% sure you find her attractive as a girl rather than a sister".

after his talk with wooseok, seungwoo was in a rut. out of nowhere, boram texted him, asking how he was doing and how the night with his friends were. the male had to admit that his stomach became queasy and his heart started beating faster when he saw boram's name pop up. but he didn't know if he wanted to text boram back, still confused over his feelings.

leaving boram's text unread, seungwoo texted kookheon a few days later, asking why he thought of boram as just a sister rather than a girlfriend despite knowing her for over a decade and being around her so much. kookheon then explained it all and ended it by saying "i know you like her and i know she likes you, too, but boram's in a tough spot when it comes to dating". seungwoo was taken aback a bit, reading kookheon's text. asking why kookheon just said "it's not my place to tell you about her last relationship since i have too much respect for her and how strong she's been since then, but if you ask her, she'll tell you; if she trusts you enough, and i know she does, then she'll tell you". seungwoo just sent a mere "ah ok" as a response, but kookheon followed it with a link to an old naver article of boram and hongseok's dating rumor, adding "it was a public thing, as you can see, but you need boram's side to figure out why she has issues when it comes to dating".

seungwoo then read the article and a number of articles/watching interviews pertaining to boram's love life; in addition, he listened to songs boram's previously participated in writing or ever sent to him saying she liked the meaning, and that's when he started to piece things together. he then texted boram, apologizing over how he didn't respond to her text a few days prior:

hey! sorry i didn't respond back to you a few days ago. i had... some things to take care of.

and i hope this isn't intrusive (stop me if it is), but i... learned about your past relationship. i was rather curious and asked kookheon, but he said it was best to ask you directly about what happened... but feel free to not tell me if you're not comfortable.

보람이 🍃

ah.. well.. i'm not really comfortable telling you through text or call, especially with my members around. but... it's okay. i'm comfortable telling you. but can we meet right now? i'd rather tell you in person.

yeah, ok. just let me know where.

보람이 🍃

no! i'll come to you, if that's okay.. i need to get out of the dorm anyway ㅋㅋ

oh, okay. we can meet at our practice room? i'd invite you to the dorms, but the other members are here and i don't want you to feel uncomfortable

보람이 🍃

okay.. send the address. i'll be there soon.

that night was, not only the first time they met in-person outside of promotions, but the first time that boram became so emotionally vulnerable to seungwoo. through tears, boram told him about hongseok and why they fell apart and has even went as far to telling him about her family and why she has such difficulty in loving and being loved. boram thought seungwoo would leave, thinking she was too messed up to be around her; but seungwoo stayed, arms wrapped around her, his sweater becoming drenched with her tears. he kept telling her that he wouldn't leave, that she at least, now, had friends and family that supported and cared for her; that she wasn't alone. at that moment, she felt thankful, yet again, for having seungwoo.

after calming down, boram asked how he found out (for clarity purposes), to which seungwoo repeated his kakao message, saying he reached out to kookheon and went ahead saying that she deserves better than hongseok. with a chuckle, boram flat out asked "and by better, do you mean yourself?" immediately, seungwoo got flustered and just dismissed it, saying he was just saying it hypothetically to which boram nonchalantly "mhm okay". after joking around a bit together, even fiddling with each other's hands in the process, seungwoo bid boram a good night, texting her constantly to make sure she arrived back to her dorm safely.

˗ˏˋ the falling action.

it's clear that the feelings are there, but seungwoo doesn't want to initiate it. after all, he's still figuring out his own feelings on whether he truly likes boram as more than a friend or not, and the fact boram's last relationship ended poorly just made him worried about various scenarios of what possibly could go wrong.

boram also doesn't want to initiate it since she's worried things won't end well, thinking it'll be just as rough as her last relationship, especially since they're both upcoming idols. she's also worried that, if they were to go public, her company and netizens would see her in a bad light, which would only increase her stress and anxiety on top of being an idol in general.

˗ˏˋ the resolution.

whether they end up together or not will be left for you to piece together (read: their ending is totally up to you!).

interactions

...

status

friends with lingering feelings for each other (though that's not until awhile after she debuts and they become closer).

relationship trivia

˗ˏˋ kookheon, pt. 1 as you can tell, kookheon was probably the sole person who brought these two together. whenever he gets the chance (because he's that sort of friend), he always pokes at the fact that he should be thanked on behalf of bringing them together. he sometimes takes the joke even further by saying that he should be thanked on their wedding day or at least play a vital role in their wedding. all boram would do is smack him for being "stupid" and seungwoo would just be a whole flustered and nervous mess. deep down, both boram and seungwoo are actually thankful towards kookheon, they just won't openly admit to it.

˗ˏˋ kookheon, pt. 2 for clarification, kookheon's reasoning behind supporting boram and seungwoo over boram and hongseok back then was solely because he didn't know hongseok prior to boram telling him. he can't exactly judge hongseok outside of what boram's perception of him is (clear to him that boram was deeply infatuated with hongseok), but he just had this gut feeling that hongseok's intentions weren't the best, because, if you're set to debut in a matter of months, you wouldn't go ahead and get together with someone beforehand. as for seungwoo, kookheon knows he's a good guy with good intentions. of course, a part of him is worried over what would happen if their feelings would develop into something more, especially when he knows of the harsh dating ban boram's company put down and both are considered "rookies," but kookheon's aware that seungwoo would respect the rules and would weigh out pros and cons before ever considering a relationship. unlike hongseok, seungwoo wouldn't use boram for his own gain and enjoyment. it's just his gut telling him that his best friend was in good hands now.

˗ˏˋ ideal definition boram will admit that her idea of 'love' isn't complete and is rather messy. in fact, she's scared of being loved and giving love in return, hence why she has trust issues and has difficulty opening up to people about deeply personal issues, especially regarding her family and childhood. however, with the help of her adoptive family and a friend she's grown a strong bond with, her idea of 'love' and 'relationships' was restored. boram now believes that the most important thing in a relationship is trust and communication, something she lacked in her childhood and past relationship. as for seungwoo, he sees love as stepping stones: you gradually develop feelings; as you keep talking and seeing each other, building steps towards each other, you come to a point where you can share your deepest insecurities and sorrows to your lover. in other words, seungwoo vows that being able to physically and mentally understand each other is important in a healthy relationship.

˗ˏˋ more to be added soon

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