I am beginning to think that it’s only me that reads my blogs but I guess I could see that as a good thing, when I look back on them.

Anyway! Hi! It has been a couple of months. I have neglected that this app was still on my phone. Well, iPod. 18 and still no phone.

Anyway! I got accepted into a university! I am pretty scared, not going to lie. This transition from being a complete kid to an adult for the rest of my life is just sad.

Things are getting unnecessarily hectic. I got into a useless drama. All because I was lonely. I still feel really guilty and dirty, but the fact that certain others don’t feel that way worries me a lot. 

While sitting at my desk earlier, I really realized  that 2017 really was a good year. Depsite being rejected by the guy I sincerely liked, it was eventful and overall fun. This year started off gloomy, still is. I feel like I’m going nowhere right now. 

Going back to the topic adulthood, I realized that because I have best friends who are both younger and older than me, I feel like I’m in the middle of the rope in a tug-of-war. My younger friends want me to stay in a state of a kid and just play around like I have no future ahead. My friends who are my age and older, they want me to mature as soon as possible. They want me to study Theology with them, serve in the church and just stop being childish.

I understand but.. right now i just want time to stop. I don’t want to get any older than I am now, nor do I want to be an immature kid.

I just want to go home. 

I forgot to mention that I’ve been sick for over 3 weeks now and it’s driving me insane because midterms are coming up and I am slacking like no tomorrow. 

I wouldn’t mind if the zombie apocalypse were to happen right now. 

What I want right now, is what I wanted 5 years ago. To be free from this house.

What I want right now, is to be sitting on a couch, wrapped in blankets with the one I love. I just want to be loved. That’s all I want right now.