I am who i am

"the stars from far away pull me in"

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

+positive » considerate, determined, forgiving, observant
.neutral » altruistic, idealistic, private, sensitive
-negative » conflict-averse, insecure, naive, self-destructive

PERSONALITY:

although se hyun has a serious case of resting face syndrome, there’s a piece of him that hasn’t quite grown up yet. when you take the time to speak with him, he’s all smiles, sunshine and rainbows. he genuinely believes that being nice to others means they’ll be nice to him too. as a result, he has a tendency of taking things in at face level and gives infinite amounts of second chances, no matter how much that person may have hurt him.

se hyun is also unusually persistent. he’s not afraid of working hard to get something he wants. he holds himself to a high standards and does everything in his power to go beyond that. however, he is also unable to absorb constructive criticism in a healthy manner, often feeling unworthy and self-hating for being unable to live up to expectations.

he is the textbook definition of a people pleaser and would willingly throw himself into the pits of hell if it meant keeping the people around him happy. unfortunately, he also has a tendency to self-punish to fulfill this duty he forced onto himself as well as when he is unable to fulfill this same duty. often this means falling into a headspace where he berates himself for being a useless waste of space and then slowly spiraling into his own personal nightmare.

as se hyun’s need to please the people around him grew, so did his ability to read people. he became very sensitive to other people’s emotions and needs as well as how to respond in order to keep a positive atmosphere. in this same sense, se hyun is very conflict averse. and although he has become very good at defusing an escalating disagreement as a result of it, he is averse to the point of making situations worse in the long run.

despite being very desperate for external validation, se hyun is very private. he keeps his own problems to himself in order not to trouble others. even when he breaks down under the weight of it all, he’ll just pick up the pieces and repeat the process again, because no matter how painful this is, nothing is more painful than the people around him leaving. nothing is more painful for him than being alone again.

(he’s scared that if his mask cracks, then this world that he’s built around himself will crumble)

BACKGROUND:  

se hyun was the only child to an upper middle class couple in seoul and grew up under the guide of his very supportive parents. they would encourage him when he was struggling and praise him whenever he did well. despite not being particularly great at studying, he was encouraged to explore his interests. he was the pride and joy of his small family of three. beginning with dance and sports to piano and art classes, se hyun’s parents has probably thrown him into every activity they could get him into. the first to stick was music, through which he later found a love for the bass guitar. thankfully he was quite good at it too. his persistent nature allowed him to fully commit himself to the study of the instrument and hence improve rapidly.

he was around eight years old when things began to change. as the light in his room was turned off it was suddenly as if a new dimension had materialised over the world he knew. deformed bodies, terrifying creatures and a rotting city. but the worst part, was when one of them would seemingly notice his presence and send a chilling smirk his way, as if they were mocking him. se hyun spent the night crying under the blanket, and when the sun rose again, he was finally released from his nightmare. the next night, he was once again forced into this strange crossing between his world and the after life. then the night after that and the night after that. at first this was chalked down to a child’s overactive imagination, and he was slowly learning to cope with it as the years went by.

he was eleven when his nightmares began to bleed into his everyday life. before he was offered some reprieve when the sun rose again, but suddenly, in bright sunlight, he began to see that same subtle but grotesque image. the deformed bodies and creatures would taunt him; whispering to him, and purposely terrorise him to the best of their abilities. even mocking him as he gets scolded by his parents for being awake at 3am. but when he reaches out for help and confesses the truth about his visions, he felt a change in the way his parents looked at him, as if he was mentally ill, but mostly it was brushed off as overactive imagination again.

despite all of that, it wasn’t until he was twelve years old that his fairy tale childhood crumbled.

during a holiday camp, se hyun had found himself deep within a nearby forest along with a couple of his friends. they really had tried to keep track of time, but they were having too much fun and it wasn’t until the sun had set that they realised how late it was. although all the fun had taken his mind off of his vision for a while, se hyun was quickly jerked back into reality. though his adventurous friends had wanted to stay the night in the forest, se hyun’s increasing distress led them to slowly find their way back.

along the way, a pack of hungry wolves had found se hyun and his friends. they all did their best to return to their camp, running as quickly as their short little legs could take them, but se hyun was overwhelmed, by both his visions and the slowly approaching pack of wolves. in his panic, he tripped over his own feet and the wolves were onto him in the next moment. in an every man for themselves moment like that, his friends hadn’t noticed he was missing until they had made it all the way back to the group.

he still remembers the exact feeling of their fangs sinking into his skin and the feeling of flesh being torn off, but nothing else after that.

when they found him a couple hours later with the aid of park rangers and his friends, se hyun was slowly bleeding out on the forest ground, surrounded by a pack of dead wolves. in a desperate last ditch attempt to survive, he was able to summon a couple of undead soldiers to save him at the very last moment.

although his peers eventually moved on from the incident, it took se hyun and his family much longer to recover. his parents knew exactly what that incident meant. he was a power user. he was abnormal. being abnormal meant he was a disappointment to the family. not to mention se hyun became a recluse, too afraid to go anywhere or do anything.

but no amount of terror could top the pain of his own loving parents shunning him. he blamed himself for burdening his parents, for being a disappointment and for being abnormal. slowly he suppressed his feelings and signs of his powers, instead adopting a cheerful and carefree demeanor. although he often felt like he was being crushed and suffocated by his own emotions, his relationship with his parents improved over time and that was enough for him to endure.

several years later, behind se hyun’s back, his parents had contacted the league of extraordinaire, asking for advice regarding their power child. they were terrified of him and wanted to know if he qualified for their gifted program because they couldn’t wait to finally get away from him. he was quickly accepted into the program.

se hyun was located in the sanctuary school located in new york for a brief period of time as they tried to identify his powers, however the moment they realised he had the ability to summon the undead (along with the inability to control his powers), he was shipped off into the school located in the atmosphere. he spent many years in the atmosphere, very rarely returning to earth due to uncertainties about his powers (and also because his parents don’t really want to see him if they don’t have to). though se hyun was very homesick, he did everything he could to stay out of the way but as he made more friends, he gradually came to terms with his situation.

then suddenly there was a disaster down on earth, with a rush of students coming overfilling the capacity of the atmosphere school. as more schools went down, se hyun’s worry for his parents that didn’t want him grew. the moment the incheon school was set up, he gave up his spot in the atmosphere school, begging to be transferred to incheon instead. all because it seemed like the one decision that would make the most number of people happy; he’d be a hero that would help defend the earth, and he would be much closer to his parents should something happen.

TRIVIA:

✩ se hyun suffers from severe insomnia due to the visions and is often sleep deprived. instead, he relies on food to provide him with sufficient energy to last the day.
✩ has a fear of canines due to the incident that occured when he was twelve. not so much of small dogs but the more wolf-like a particular creature is, the more he is afraid of it.
✩ really really at both piano and bass when he first started but once he got over the hump, he improved really quickly.
✩ no longer plays piano (he quit not long after graduating from primary school), but still plays the bass relgiously.
✩ he owns two bass guitars at the moment; one was a gift from his parents when he first left for the new york sanctuary school, the other was a gift from his best friend for his first birthday in the atmosphere.
✩ don't leave him alone in the dark please
✩ he owns two bass guitars at the moment; one was a gift from his parents when he first left for the new york sanctuary school, the other was a gift from junseo.
✩ usually smells like a mix between vanilla and cedarwood due to the bodywash he uses

RELATIONSHIPS: 

✩ parents - seo jin woon + han yoon hye (55 + 53) / accountant + housewife / closed-minded, stubborn  / 5/10
he's not particularly close with his parents as he once was. they grew apart after se hyun's powers began manifesting due to their fear of power users and this gap only kept growing after se hyun left for the sanctuary schools. se hyun would happily reconnect with them if only he had the chance, it's just too bad they don't feel the same way.

RETURN TO the STORY

bluevitamin ✩ sul

LAST COMMENT: his personality, history and power are all super tied in with each other which made it a little difficult to separate (i think i repeated myself at times too). im also lowkey about to pass out so i hope it still makes sense! <3

SCENE REQUEST: 

✩ junseo sehyun reuinion (or junseo dying and sehyun finding out, if that's more your style)

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