This is going to ramble a while, but I refuse to apologise for this.

According to reports on Allkpop, Onew has been investigated for ual harassment of a woman in a club.  The woman, "A", felt a hand on her.  A witness, "B", confirmed that it was Onew.  An investigation followed, charges were dropped, SM released a statement.

That's as far as I have gotten with Allkpop.  And to be honest, I don't feel best placed to comment on these articles, regardless of their source.  It is for the reasons stated above that I have not bothered to check other sources.  From what I have read, everything the authorities can do is over with.

Now, let me say, for the record, that I am not going to hate on Onew.  If what has been reported is true and he has cooperated fully with police, this is not a matter for me to comment on.  This is (or at least was) in their hands and this is now (or again, was) a matter for them to deal with.

Also, for the record, I am not going to blame the victim.  And I say this realising that "I'm not blaming the victim" is usually followed by assigning a portion of the blame onto the victim.  I am not going to do this.  "A" is not at fault here.  Onew is.  Sure, they were both drunk, but Onew should have been aware of his surroundings, aware of his position as an idol and aware that, should he make one false move, he will have his name dragged through the mud.  He could have his career destroyed.  He should have been more aware of what he was doing.  There is no "off" time for idols.  Even when they are on holiday, paparazzi are looking at them.

And I'm not even going to comment on SM's pathetic excuse for a statement where they ask people to leave their precious little Onew alone because he's aware he hurt so many people and he's weally weally sowwy for upsetting all of his fans, and they ask that his image is spared because oh, the inhumanity that someone so prestigious should be caught doing something wrong.  Ok ... I'm not going to comment from now.  Because whilst they are seriously playing down what happened (which could impact others that are assaulted in clubs), they have said that Onew will participate in whatever is left to investigate.  He will cooperate.  And I think that's right.  He should, and I can't say anything negative about that.

However ... and I should take a real deep breath here ... I do have comments to some of the fans.

To those that say "She should have known this happens in a club" or "It's her fault for drinking" or anything similar: did you know that 9 out of 10 ual assaults are carried out by someone known to the person?  So you are more likely to be molested by your husband than by some stranger in a club. So this whole "if you go to a club, you should expect to be d" idea also means that "If you get married, you should expect to be ."  I hope you would tell your daughter that.  In fact, I hope you also tell your daughter not to trust mommy or daddy, since your daughter knows you both and as such you are more likely to molest your own child than some stranger in a club would be.  Yes, people are molested and d in a club.  They are also d at home, at the mall, at the gas station, at the post office, on the bus, in a park, in their own car, at work, at school ... no place is ever 100% guaranteed to be safe for people.  So, should we now say "If you exist, you should expect to be d?"

To those that say "She will be scarred forever": Not necessarily, but I would probably imagine that she will be reluctant to go to another club for a little while.  And I say this as someone who, as a child, was molested by a friend of the family for months.  (See what I said about "the person being known to you"? *sarcastic wink*)  Right now, it doesn't bother me.  Shortly after it happened, it still didn't bother me.  I was able to make jokes about it within a couple of weeks.  It has had no lasting effects on me.  But not everyone out there is like me.  Some will be scarred.  Some will not be able to trust other people.  Some will be reluctant to go to places where the assault happened. Some will turn to drugs, some will turn to drink, some will commit suicide over what happened.  And some will be able to go on as though nothing ever happened.  Everyone reacts differently.  I hope she is able to move on quickly and that this doesn't affect her.

To those that say "Onew is an angel!  He would never do anything like this!": Stop it.  Just stop it.  He ually harassed someone (corrected based on the comment below).  And even if he hadn't, he is no angel anyway.  What you see is only a portion of what he does in his life.  Your Onew is the angel.  The one in your mind.  The one in your imagination.  That's not the Onew.  Likewise, he's not the devil incarnate.  He's not pure evil.  He's human.  He makes mistakes.  He does things wrong.  And he should take responsibility for his actions.  And he shouldn't have you blindly defending him for things that he has admitted to doing, even when drunk.  I am stunned at the number of fans that would say "Oh, she should share some of the blame for going there in the first place" or "She should share some of the blame for getting drunk."  How quickly would you say to your daughter, "Welp, if you weren't in the club, you wouldn't have been d"?  How many of you would go to a club yourselves and say "Yeah, it's my fault.  I shouldn't have decided to have a good time with my friends and have a few drinks.  Yep, I deserved to have my grabbed.  LOL"?  I'm going to guess ... hmmm ... what's a number less than zero?

"A" went to a club, believing she would be safe, believing that "safety in numbers" was a thing, believing she would be protected, believing she would be safe, believing she had the right to have a good time, unmolested, unharassed, unharmed, untouched.  Onew went to the same club, believing he could be free from the prying eyes of paparazzi, believing he could just let go of everything, believing he could be just a regular person, believing he had the right to have a good time.

They both had a few drinks.  They both danced.  They both danced near each other.  Onew touched her.

Now, I'm not going to argue that Onew intended to her.  I'm not going to claim that he picked "A" out and thought "Ooooooh, I gotta get me a piece of that".  But he did touch her in a private place - a place that she considered to be private.  I consider my to be private.  I consider my chest to be private.  It's not just my s that are private.  He touched her in a place that she believed she should not be randomly touched.  It seems like a misunderstanding from the reports that have come out, but that does not, in any way, shape or form, excuse what he did.  She felt an unwanted hand on her body in a place she would not have wanted the hand of a stranger.  Not once, but twice.  The first time, she thought nothing of it, and I would imagine that "once" could be excused by many people.  Once could be dismissed.  Twice becomes an issue.  Twice in such a short period of time is a bigger one.

He touched her in a way she didn't want to be touched, and rightfully police were involved.  Charges were dropped, for whatever reason.

But for the love of Sarenrae, don't go making your idol out to be an angel who would never dream of doing this when he has done so.

And for those that are targeting Onew and making him out to be Lucifer's right hand man, just stop, ok?  He's not pure evil.  From what I can see, this was a misunderstanding, and I am not sure there are reports stating otherwise.  He made a mistake.  People make mistakes. If he went to the club and stalked her relentlessly, completely sober, I'd be less willing to step in and say something here.  He didn't.  If he had been a known predator in the area, I wouldn't be willing to step in here.  He's not.  If he had done this previously on numerous occasions, I wouldn't be willing to step in here. He hasn't.  If he kidnapped her and her repeatedly, I would not be willing to defend him in the slightest.  He didn't.  He touched her briefly in a place where she did not want to be touched.  He did something wrong, and police were involved.  Charges were dropped, for whatever reason.  It is not for us to pass judgement on this case.  Legal proceedings were followed in line with South Korean law.  We are not judges in South Korea.  I'm going to guess there are zero South Korean criminal judges currently registered on Asianfanfics.  As a result, we have no reason to pass judgement on a criminal act.

What he did was wrong, and I am sure he understands that and there should be serious ramifications and consequences applied to him by SM to learn from his mistakes.  What he did was not wanted by her, and since she had the police involved I'm certain she knows that.  But it appears to have been dealt with.  This is not a situation that we have any say in.

Imagine that "A" was your daughter.  Would you turn to her and say that she deserved what she went through?  Would you say she was right to go to the police?  Would you say she should have been honoured to be d, and by an idol no less?  People crave for idols to notice them or acknowledge their existence and "A" was d by one!  She should be overjoyed by that!  Would you say that to your daughter?

Think about if you were "A". Would you want your parents to laugh at you and say "It's your own fault for going to a club in the first place"?  Would you want them to brutally kill and torture the guy who d you for what was a couple of momentary touches?  Would you want your parents to sue the company the guy was attached to for millions in order to buy your silence?

Because "A" is someone else's daughter, and they have to go through that themselves.

Onew is not some innocent little baby, nor is he the most vile monster in existence.  He is a human being that did something wrong and now he has to face the consequences.  We, however, are not the ones who should be throwing these consequences at him.

Nor should we be throwing consequences at her, since I am certain there will be a number of people tracking down her identity and posting it across social media since she had police involved on ual harassment against an idol.  Those people are vile and disgusting creatures that are perpetuating the fear victims of ual assault go through.  Nobody sets out to be molested.  Nobody genuinely wants to be molested.  Even those who have kinks in this area don't want to be molested.  That is done without consent.  That is done without permission.  That is done without your say.

These things happen, and it is wrong, completely and unequivocally wrong.  We all need to be more vigilant and more aware of our surroundings.  We need to all be careful when we go out, we need to be more aware of what is happening around us, we need to be able to defend ourselves, regardless of our gender identity, regardless of our ual identity, regardless of our age, regardless of our hair length, regardless of what we wear.  I, as a guy, need to be just as careful as any woman that is reading this.  Any one of us could become a victim of a ual offence.  From persistant to catcalling, we all potentially face these acts.  Any one of us could become a victim.  Any one of us could become a perpetrator.  We all need to be aware of this, and we shouldn't be saying "one is worse than the other."  It happens, to everyone, and it needs to stop.  Period.

"A" did not invite Onew to touch her and, regardless of whether it was intended or not, he touched her more than once.  Police were involved.  Charges have been dropped.

I for one choose to leave this in the hands of the authorities, but I will continue to be angry at those that blame "A" in any way for this.  She did not want to be touched.  Nor did she want to be published in the gossip columns.  Nor did she want to be talked about by hundreds of thousands of people.  Likewise, I will continue to be angry at those who blast Onew and insist that he be publicly flogged and tortured for his actions.

Remind yourself that "A" is someone's daughter and ask yourself how you would react if your daughter was in this position.

Ask yourself how you would want your parents to act if you were in this position.

I'm guessing that's where she is and her parents are right now.