i contemplated/hesitated posting this even though it was prepared last night...because ideally i know i should be cutting down music n spazzing in this month...but i always believe that this month should be the gateway to make you start improving yourself n not a temporary hardcore change for the better for a month n then back to old ways...that always strikes me as hypocritical...i think a small change but consistent n continuous to be increased little by little is better than 180 degrees change only for it to be shortlived...mabe i'm just making excuse...i'm still struggling to uhmm..improve a bit more...but meanwhile...i'll just post this first bcuz otherwise it'd haunt me all the time n make me lose concentration lol...

maybe i'll be able to slow down...hopefully, with sincerity n not out of guilt n worries over how other humans will judge me bcuz for me...our intention matters when it comes to God...and earning nods from humans won't really get you any points that really matter...well, to each their own...

so... (please take note first that this post was prepared yesterday so some things are already outdated but i still want to post it anyway...haha...)

the starting might be the same ol boring ugly whiny things,...but i promise you the ending is beautiful you can just skip to it...

first...the fancams will be released soon...actually...the result is kinda out too...of course...not directly...but the last rank group is quite extremely predictable....i dare them prove me wrong...but nah...n whoever think the show's so unpredictable...tsktsk...all i can say is...mnet lurves you. ;)

sure there's some small shakeups from time to time...but the really top popular ones...nah...not shaken at all...

rumors saying 열어줘 will emerge the big winner n i think it's very likely possible...from the snippet...the song did sound like it could be good enough...but it wasn't really that surprising even if it wasn't hyped by the show like Never...it did have the popular members....so much for a 'punishment' for daniel...it'd make more sense to punish him to be in group with lowest rank kids...heh....mnet...you're funny...the target of attention is Never...which i didn't find appealing at all tbh...but will probly still make it high for the popular members in there...the only one i remotely care abt is I Know You Know regardless of how the song will sound(frankly it's one of my least favs from the snippet....n that made me even more bitter...i'm really hoping i'd love the actual full song n the snippet just had the lacklustre parts...bcuz even last season...my fav songs are the least popular teams so i felt good abt liking the songs...lol)...simply cuz they're the underdogs. and looks like they'd get tragic number of votes...

and did anyone notice whenever unexpected top11 newbie make buzz for rise in ranking..scandal follow up? like in im youngmin's case? eh...mnet probly purposely gave him the rise just to make you think the show's oh so unpredictable... n already having the scandal in their grasp to follow up for all i know....crazy theory but remember choi soon shil n sk's former president? yeah...those ain't fiction...reality can be crazier than fiction...since many fiction writers ain't that creative haa...sorry guys...so let's not be naive on possibilities...

actually there are people who seem to have kinda made possible theories which sound more possible than what mnet will make you believe...i'm just bitter that the manipulation still worked despite being so obvious...

ppl are arguing abt whether there should be just 1-2 or as much of nuest possible in final lineup...all i can say is...i can predict in the future(if they decide on more seasons, hopefully not) this show will turn into all debuted idol trying to redebut show n no more trainees....sadly...their fate won't be as good as nuest unless they're chosen by mnet...it's never about who's more talented, who's handsomer, who's more hardworking, at the end of the day...it's about who's chosen by mnet....they're the ones who make the viewers vote who they want the viewers to vote....if ya get what i mean...nuest got lucky mnet chose them for this season...n this doesn't just apply to nuest or other idols...but also...the rest of the trainees....i'm just bitter that more nugu idols will go in with false hopes given to them when they could end up as tragically as jjcc dudes n other nugu group reps although i still think jjcc was the most unfortunate idols to had that leftover tag on them......T^T...

i'm just bitter....and more worrying...bcuz of the rumour that mnet might take the remaining of the top35 other than the 11 winners...as their backup for concerts n stuffs....which could possibly mean they won't be able to debut within that time...i really hope this rumor isn't true....bcuz that's totally a sabotage to their better opportunities...even though i'm reallllyyy happy most of my kids dodged a big one by already being eliminated haha...they're saved and they can move on....yay....we'll see the fate of top12-35...but oh...just as i wanted to share the vid...it seemed to have disappeared...either...it's confirmed untrue....or....mnet warned that channel too...like what happened to lee insoo while he was doing live broadcast on some online site n airing out some dirty laundries of mnet :p....creepy...i'm so glad my kids are safe now mostly...who knew i'd end up feeling so happy n relieved to see my kids eliminated?...

speaking of lee insoo...

i was rewatching boy in luv team 2 perf ...since it's one of my top 3 favs from mission 1 when i first watched the perfs...and bcuz i'm just curious abt the identity of one kid's from boy in luv team1 i think(not out of interest, i just don't recognize who dude is, was all lol)...while watching random reaction shot for another team...well, i think he's from that avenger team looking at the outfit...but idk...anyway...i watched both teams and again noticed how team 1 lacked so much compared to team 2...and what made team 2's perf really good?...to me...the standouts from team 2...were actually lee insoo n lee geonmin...lee insoo...cuz the way he stressed his parts n made it high pitch...or whatever...really brought impact to his parts...he made team 1 sound so weaksauce in comparison...and lee geonmin....don't get me started on how absurd it is to have the member who brought the greatest impact quality wise to the perf...is the only one eliminated...like....wth...yes, all members contributed to the perf's awesomeness(though i still think lai guan lin is really overrated n brought the least to the perf...but probly brought the greatest impact/fangirling for whatever reason i couldn't care less....alongside kang dongho who did well...but not like his part was the most challenging...)....lee geonmin's highnote adlib is everything that made team 2 > wall > team 1...lol. as knetz would say...n he even did the stunts n everything...lee geonmin n lee insoo really made the perf on another level....n it's really a damn shame lee geonmin was eliminated n even his ranking was in 90s range...ugh...bitter. don't talk abt how your top ranking kids deserve their rank cuz of talents...seriously...i want to slap someone...(i'm not even supposed to post these things right now...but this show is making me evil...lol)

but one thing abt lai guan lin i like but could be double edged sword...is when he straight up requested for later start for practice cuz he wanted to sleep more...lmao. ok that's really brave of him....but...if i am his fan...i'd be scared to let him get to top 11...bcuz then the schedules would be crazier...n let's say if he can't handle it anymore n run away...n then the drama of exo chinese members repeat...n it'd end up with knetz bashing foreigners, inetz bashing knetz....tsktsk...idk why somemore than some people never learn...from the way he straightforwardly complain abt the lack of sleep...i can forsee trouble already...somehow...foreigners always will get easy way to the top even if they're just average or below...ppl will always shield them...while being extra critical towards korean trainees/members in general...but when drama happens...ppl get all racist...i mean why u gave them winning in the first place...they're not even thaaaat good. i don't get it...

uh oh...i sense trouble...i dont think ppl can handle taboo topics like this...oh well...bcuz unpretty reality can hurt n be very uncomforting... oh well...whatever....

and also rewatching shock perfs...from both teams...n reread my comment at a blogpost i read on the perfs back then....xD...back then i thought both teams were almost just as good...but now...carefully watching n listening again...i must say...it's always team 2...they definitely sounded more solid n powerful as a team. and i already liked jeong dongsu even from the time i just referred him as 'rapper 2'...xD....well, i guess you don't need to know someone to appreciate their awesomeness/talents...but i've to admit...it's how awesome he was that made me look for his name n later on became fan...n i love how he made his rap lines more melodious than the original(ok maybe not original...i don't remember having ever listen to the song properly even if i know how it sounds like)...but if you compare to group 1...you can see how different his style of rap was....bcuz he's a vocalist...it impressed me more that he manage to modify the rap style...although that should be a given...it's a shame though that even for this team with almost all members sounding so damn solid....they're all eliminated saved for dongsu n lee giwon. the main vocalist, jo jinhyung did really good...so were the rest of them...yoo kyungmok, park heeseok, im woohyuk....but they're all eliminated...like...how?....welll....pffft...not really that clueless about it....now that i'm watching this again, this definitely deserves one of the top spots in my fav groups list bcuz they're just freaking solid....actually even for team 1...all were eliminated save for seo seonghyuk....when you see so many teams with majority eliminated ones...you can imagine there'd be teams where most/all members made it...yeah, must be nice being popular/chosen by mnet....n get so much hype for mediocre perfs but hyped up to make you feel the awesomeness...huhu...

i just noticed something though...leaders of both team....park heeseok for team 2 n kim dohyun team 1...were both from same agency...omg...now...that's a real battle of same agency....i'm shock-ed....and to add to my shock...they're both debuted in same group...a duo actually....waaaaatt....why this was never made as material for drama?...let me tell you why....cuz they're not the chosen ones....

ok...to end this part....let's watch again...quality perf...

another post will be made for the perfs of top35...i've just watched half of them...n i think this post is getting wayyy too long to fit in all...lol.

now...

continuing from where i stopped with jjcc...i'm already on my way to the path of danger...i checked out their other title songs, i got addicted to some...particularly this right now...

no thanks to unnie who made me curious enough to check it out even though the title made me just want to skip it...lol...j/k, thanks a lotttt unnie~

and also...another one i quite like...maybe not full blown but yeah kinda...

and what made it even more badass...all members sing...usually...it's like one member sing majority part n so many rap...n there's one song i really didn't like cuz the new members didn't even get a line...so it was hard for me to watch that song...but here...the rappers sing, one of the new members...who's promoted as power vocal got to show his power vocal...and they even made their own MV it seemed...all in all...this is a really impressive effort/stepup by them...n random but their styling here in group part n even the setting atmosphere...reminds me so much of Battle's 2nd single jacket photoshoot....T^T...

random...but the other day's song i shared had 6 members, today's first one 5 members n 2nd one, 7 members...lol.

Right now...i guess you can say the lineup is 6 members...i heard they auditioned to find more new member n i hope no more new member. that is seriously so unnecessary....enough, Jackie Chan ahjussi.

actually...here...this is the song where the new members are there but it's just painful to see them barely having any relevance n end up getting hate -_-...

but i still like the song better than Fire...the song i keep seeing praised by ppl alongside their debut song At First

well...this one's not bad actually...

i guess the only one i'm not feeling is Fire...i find it kinda overrated n generic...i guess that's the majority's taste...but calling it different n all the hoopla is uhh unnecessary...not even true...got my hopes up for nothin...2nd least fav would be where you at...cuz it's just painful to even think of...weird line distribution...1 singer 4 rappers 2 backdancers...ugh...

i even think at some point...i had some kind of crush on a member n that's just wrong...lmao. he's one of my kids...you don't crush on your kids...lmao. shame on you. get yourself together. hahaha....nah...just a passing thing...maybe i watched too much of their vids...to find fanfic writing ideas...i end up drawn to the awkward kid. i mean...yeah for all i know it could just be his role to be awkward....but when i see other members bullying him(even if it's meant playfully) n his awkward reactions that look like he could even cried at any second but just didn't know how to react n end up really awkward...him being a new member doesn't make it easier i guess...it reminds me of how i was annoyed by the constant trashtalking on kwanghee in ZE:A by most of the members...even if it's all for funny effect or whatnot...it stopped being funny after some point...i guess it's my uhh hero mentality/protective nature that made me drawn to this awkward dude...my gut feeling is telling me he can have a scary temper...but maybe that will only come out if they keep pushing him n his awkwardness until exceed the limit...who knows i could be wrong...

anyway they also have this one other member who can look like a super attractive/ at time japanese-looking guy or just some unnoticeable average guy according to how he's styled n his hair....this is just so freaking confusing....lol. i'm sure those who know the group know which member i'm talking bout...xD...

and hadon shook me so much bcuz in this group he totally look like the maknae...or a kid who somehow got into this group of adults...or sth...but in produce 101...he didn't give kid vibe at all...i guess it's also bcuz everyone in mansae team 2 mostly look like kids/kiddier than him...i mean...of course, they're my kids...xD

as you can see...i'm getting dangerously too into this group...hmmm...nooooo....stop it...i can't afford to stan another group...i'm too old for this thingy....liking songs is okay...but stanning a group hard is just too exhausting....

it's all produce 101 fault. (well, ok fine, it's my own damn fault)

they might seem like they had the worst result from other idols in the show...being eliminated in first elimination when others manage to at least reach 2nd...actually...no scratch that...that's just my ignorance...there are more nugu-er group members in there...even not so nugu ones that i didn't realize...like i didn't know yoo kyungmok was a bom member...i remember getting interested in them after seeing sechang n tagoon(now mino of winner)....in that drama ZE:A's kevin in...but since i knew them from the drama i didn't pay attention to the other two members....lol...tsk...even han minho i talked about before this as 'the' center you need to notice, also had debuted...in a nuguer group with lee seokyu...pureboy? what? who? n trust me...there are tons other groups you never even heard of that'll make you think those boys were really just some trainees with really solid skills n presence....oh no...my heart hurts for all these unchosen nugus....to think that everyone sympathized with nuest n nobody even gave a $#*** about the nugus....you can find out all of them from the wikipedia page....it's really a helpful source lol. screw all those bashers of whatever wikipedia...you're lame...instead of talking them down blindly whenever you see the name...use that time to start your own 'credible' page instead....thanks.

back to jjcc(and hopefully, other nugus too).... i sure hope they find at least a handful of people like me who manage to see beyond popularity n rank n just the unfortunate lack of love they got from the show by majority....n started to get to know their group after seeing them in the show...frankly if it wasn't for them being in mansae team 2...i might have overlook n missed out too...

and now...i might just end up buying their albums if i go to SK since i'm liking their music so far...of course...i can buy online...but buying there is just more fun...and at least i won't get suspicious look from my mum whenever parcel arrives...so...yeah...

this though....T^T..

my heart....something abt it feel so beautiful n wistful... in such oldskool ways...

and the featuring singer has such lovely voice...

this is the most beautiful thing even if idk bout the lyrics yet...so beautiful it hurts...

i read a comment saying the mv made the commenter cry while smiling...i think that's a perfect way of describing the feels of this song...

this is just so beautiful...i swear i'm not crying i'm just crying...lol.....i never thought i'd love ballad song with so much rap in it...i think i particularly like e.co's raps here....omg...i can even already tell who's who in the group....(although maybe not by sound yet..they just have too many rappers)