ㅤ¿ㅤTHE RELATIONSHIPS AROUND NGSY'S DRUMMER & BASSIST
cw : mentions of & drinking.
italicized flashbacks take place the night of the year-end party and the morning after sans sook's.
she kisses him, and he kisses back. something begins to harden in his gut. something foreboding, like junwi would walk back in and see their lips locked and have isang's pretty head on a pretty stick. that feeling begins to soften as he realizes binna is a really good kisser. they go back to his room and everything is a bit fuzzy. all isang remembers is that it feels good, the way she bounces feels good. he thinks of how yena would feel. there's a stinging dichotomy between guilt and pleasure because he feels bad, but everything she's doing just feels so good. he frowns when he wakes and hears junwi down the hall. she smiles.
hwang isang adores binna baudry de lozières with all his heart. together, they are filled with sweetness and light, airy grace guiding them through life, hand in hand. isang brings sweetness and dewy affection while binna brings straightforward, bareboned affection.
besides penelope, she's the person who watches after him the most. making sure he eats, making sure he's clean, keeping him organized. she loves taking him out drinking, and they two really know how to party hard together. they're both easygoing and can have deep and interesting conversations with each other. isang and binna are junwi's resident weirdos and enjoy pestering him together. if binna's up baking at 3 am, isang will be up with her doing taste tests. they talk about and come up with conspiracy theories together, their minds sparkling when brought together for a discussion. binna encourages him to be the best isang he can be, and always knows what to say when he's feeling down. she gives him opprotunities and the confidence to care for himself and slowly make small decisions.
BINNA
this happens all the time doesn't it? you get close to someone, and all of a sudden they're gone. all because of you. didn't you learn the first time that you're better off alone? drink, play bass, date around as much as you can, either way you'll still be all alone.
she doesn't hate herself, but she doesn't love herself. she sees herself as a compilation of her worst features, of which she's hyperaware. she's just a weird, pretentious, detached, alien-looking girl who focus all of her emotional stability into very delicate structures. she keeps herself confined because she's afraid of people leaving her if she lets people in, but she's never let anyone in to prevent that, so she's all alone.
HWANG ISANG / DRUMMER
useless. burdensome. look at yourself! you think everyone likes babying you? no, they only do it because you're pathetic. honestly, how are you still even alive?
isang thinks he's helpless. scratch that, it is a commonly known fact that hwang isang doesn't know how to care for himself. he's at cleaning, he once caught a bowl of oatmeal on fire, he didn't know how to address a package or an envelope. it makes him want to improve, but he feels like he just isn't good at things, so why should he even try? all he'll be doing is making a bigger mess for someone else to clean up.
BINNA
she makes a point to avoid sleeping with groupmates, but she was drunk. she hadn't been that drunk in a long while, and isang was there beside her being his boyfriend-material self. she kissed first, he kissed back. they went back to his room and he asked are you sure? but she didn't hear him. she shifts from kneeling to straddling him. the way he holds her waist is in a mixture of awe and nerves as she starts to ride him. she thinks about junwi, about how he'd be in isang's position. handsy? rough? would he up into her as she's coming down? she doesn't remember stopping or falling asleep, but she remembers waking up to a frowning isang.
they usually aren't like that. in fact, that night was a drunken, celebration-driven anomaly that deviated from the standard of their relationship. isang depends on her, after all. even penelope depends on her. he trusts her to look out for him and help him when he needs it, and she does do that. binna enjoys isang's company. he's the right amount of weird for them to understand what she's talking about. he's just the right amount of helpless to keep her focused. he's just the right amount of cheesy to help her write love songs.
KAEDEN AHN / VOCALIST
he goes around, hugging and kissing everyone's cheeks as the night drags on. he gets to kaeden and even though he has a few shots in him, he balks for a split second. isang drapes his arms around the vocalist and gives him a friendly squeeze, and kaeden breaks away from the lanky grip. kaeden scowls, but isang's too buzzed to notice. he shrugs and goes over to porter to take a few more shots.
isang tries, he really does. he wants kaeden to like him, hell, he didn't know kaeden disliked him until years after ngsy's formation. isang just thought he was very shy and that he needed to make more of an effort to be by kaeden's side. he doesn't notice the look kaeden gives him when junwi smacks his shoulder and tells him, "good job, pretty boy.". isang doesn't understand kaeden, he simply can't. did he do something wrong? did he hurt kaeden's feelings? he'll keep trying until he's won kaeden over.
BINNA
she can't quite remember what kaeden was doing during the celebration. that's a lie, she only remebers a little bit, but she remembers the little bit distinctly. he's fawning over junwi, something only she's allowed to do. she can't get jealous, she shouldn't be jealous. junwi doesn't get jealous over her relationships, granted, she doesn't tell him about them until they end. or maybe he did.
"you're drunk, noisemaker."
"only a little bit."
"get to bed."
"only if you give me a kiss!"
ah, that's right. she is jealous as she sees junwi lead kaeden to his bedroom, arm draped around the vocalist's waist. it's only for support, it's only for support—but he's my person. a warm fingers brushes against her cheek, wiping an eyelash off for her. it's isang. she kisses him.
there is no being on earth that is as frustating to binna baudry de lozières as kaeden ahn is. they are more similar than different, both aquariuses, both -sfps. he's sort of the anti-binna, the nega-binna. she's convinced that he's what she would have been if eliot was still around. he's passionate and sensitive and in-tune with his emotions and fetching while she's perceptive and odd and detached. in a sense, they're friends who they can't help but resent and be jealous of.
the two of them understand each other very well because they're basically looking into a mirror but that doesn't mean they always get along. she thinks he's too noisy, he thinks she's too quiet. his high energy compared to her low energy can occasionally be rather lovely, but most times they just drain each other. kaeden finds a listening ear in binna, while she occasionally feels neglected because she'll only talk about something when asked, and kaeden rarely asks.
PORTER GEUN / KEYBOARDIST
they don't talk, they don't need to. isang pours for both of them, and they both swallow the warm liquid at the same time. isang giggles and porter chuckles. isang lays across the floor, head in porter's lap and porter just sits there. it's fun, it makes isang's body feel warm, a pleasant kind of warm. the same kind of warm penelope makes him feel when he squishes her cheeks.
isang and porter don't need expansive conversations to have a good time, and that's the bees knees in isang's books. he talks with everyone, with binna, with yongwon, with ryland, with chaekyung, it's nice to simply not talk. isang loves the way porter looks when he's focused on his keyboard, and enjoys watching him as he plays.
BINNA
she doesn't notice porter all night. she hopes he's actually there and not off working on some personal project.
she feels bad when junwi scolds porter, and she feels bad when porter tells junwi he refuses to do something. there is a little bit of distance between them because of how close she is to junwi and he does sometimes give her sass when she tries and makes sure he gets his for the group done. she does get a bit mad at him, and he definitely notices that, but doesn't care enough to do ngsy stuff first. afterwards, he apologizes with a lil 20-second piece he composed for her. she can't be wholly mad at him, because he just loves music so much that he also wants to do things independent of ngsy but also why aren't you doing what you're supposed to?? but after junwi gives porter's a good scolding and gets him working on ngsy stuff in his studio, binna always drops by with cup noodles, snacks, water, and encouraging notes.
RYLAND KWON-ORTEGA / GUITARIST & LEADER
ISANG
he doesn't spend much time with ryland at the party, except to wrap him up in a big hug and help everyone get the fancy glasses from the high cupboard.
grace always talks penelope into double dates with her and ryland, and because penelope can never find a boyfriend because of isang, isang's always dragged along with. and then the dates usually end up with grace and penelope doing whatever girls like and ryland and isang being stuck together. isang doesn't always know how to feel about ryland. yes they're friends, but sometimes ngsy's leader can say really mean things to isang.
BINNA
ryland. he was encouraging her to down a bottle of soju as fast as she could, helping her hold the bottle vertically as she tilts her head back and swallows mouthful after mouthful of alcohol. he chants her name, adding a little bit of something in spanish before the bottle is finished. it's his turn now, binna opening the next bottle and bringing it to his lips. he chugs and chugs and chugs, and when he's finished he looks calm. too calm. binna knows that look. "if you have to throw up, go to the toilet before its too late."
if she had to choose a member she'd date she'd choose ryland, but she knows he's dedicated to grace. the way the banter with each other makes it seem like they actually despise each other and they occasionally get into shouting matches over the dumbest thing like him using her lotion or the setting on the dorm thermostat but they only last for a few minutes at most and they're both laughing like mad. they're both inexpressive, and they always roast the other for it. he helps her make light of the things she hates about herself, and she watches out for him when grace can't be there.
JUNG SOOK / SYNTHESIST
you're not won.
his heart is pulled in all directions when he looks at sook, when he hears sook's synths instead of yongwon's. it's not the same having her around. she's nothing like him. and at the same time she's young and should be treated both with respect and as if she was fragile. but he just can't. he misses his friend, and sook isn't him. she's the only exception to his 'everybody's boyfriend' persona, both because she's too young and because he's not that fond of her.
BINNA
you don't need to be yongwon.
as the only other girl in the dorm ( especially whenever chaekyung is out ), it falls upon binna baudry de lozières to look after sook. surprise period? binna runs to the convenience store. having boy problems? they direct sook to binna. don't get her wrong, binna certainly doesn't mind helping out and watching over sook, and actually quite enjoys her company because an 80 year old in a 17 year old's body is a sight to see but she can't help but feel bad for sook. thrown into the adult world so quickly, binna wants to assure that sook's time with ngsy is filled with fun and welcome arms.
SEON CHAEKYUNG / MANAGER
he said he made a cake for her. her eyes widen and her chubby dumpling cheeks raise, "really?" he had to disappoint her though, because he bought it. junwi barred him from the kitchen earlier in the day after isang almost passed out from smoke inhalation. she saves some chicken for him, because he shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. he hugs her and holds her close to him.
he thinks chaekyung is very cute, and he likes staring at her while she stares off into space. between the two of them, junwi can't get a break with them forgetting something. perhaps she feels sorry for isang, but she watches out for a him a bit more than all the others ( even sook because that old lady is independent and stubborn as hell ). he's very thankful for her and she's the one he often goes to when he wants to talk about what happened to won.
BINNA
it's only a party once chaekyung busts out the chicken. between the two of them, they finish it within almost five minutes and junwi scolds them for not saving any for him. after eating chicken, binna tells chaekyung that she loves her and kisses her forehead before heading off to drink dangerous amounts of alcohol. every so often she'll spot chaekyung sipping on a beer and wink at her, and chaekyung catches her wink and shoots hearts at binna.
out of all the ngsy members, binna is probably the most affectionate with chaekyung, since they're both girls and the same age. the two of them constantly bounce ideas off one another, and their text messages are filled with caps lock and screaming. whenever chaekyung is in the vicinity, binna almost always has her hand on her in some way. on her tummy, on her head, on her , on her s, anywhere is fair game for binna. if the two go to the store together, binna tries to use aegyo to get chaekyung to buy things for her but it hardly ever works ( "try that on junwi next time." "seriously?" "binna........" ).
BAE YONGWON / FORMER SYNTHESIST
he curls up in the messy bed. the sheets came up off the ends of the bed, the blanket is on the floor. the room is dusty and desolate and deadpan, not caring one bit for the pain welling up inside his chest. he's innocent, won is innocent. he cries in silence because won is gone, his friend is gone. and now, ngsy is gone too.
"isang, stay with penelope for now."
he can't move. his world is crashing down around him and all he can do is curl up on his bed and hope someone can pick up the pieces.
they're friends, and pretty close ones at that. in fact, they're pretty much best friends. they're both guys of the same age, after all, and as such they have a closer than normal bond. yongwon watches out for isang and listens to his every concern. isang tries hard to be there for him, to make him happy. the two have spent many a nights simply talking about the world around them. isang brings warmth to yongwon, and yongwon brings decision-making to isang. they share about their times in europe, about members they think dislike them, about their hopes and dreams to move forwards as a group, and now yongwon's gone. he can't help but feel scared that yongwon's behind bars and the band is moving forward without him.
BINNA
she can see him drinking more and more as she does and she frowns. no one can keep up with binna baudry de lozières when she drinks, and she's determined to make him see that. she downs a shot, he downs one too. she downs two shots, he takes one after the other. he drinks too much, and while she's in the bedroom with isang he goes off into the night. she feels responsible. she lost him. he ends up in jail and she's responsible.
his departure from the group, the loss of someone so close to the core of her coping mechanism makes binna pull away from everyone. she doesn't talk much. she avoids junwi. she spends less time in the dorm and more time out. out with men. out driving late at night. out drinking. out.
he was distant and aloof, and so she remained distant and aloof with him. they observe each other carefully, the ins and outs of their beings and habits. she should have known this would happen. he knows everything about the other members, but very little about her. everything's quiet around him. they quietly talk about art and the beautiful things in life. everyone else goes to him with the problems, and she wants to too, but she can't bring herself to speak when she has time alone with him.
who would have thought the absence of his quiet presence would hurt her so much?
NGSY / GROUP
independence and moving on. their worlds.
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