ㅤ¿ㅤTHIS IS NGSY'S BASSIST, BINNA BAUDRY DE LOZIÈRES click the .vsco.co for her playlist !
STEP ONE.
full name. binna baudry de lozières
빛나 보두리 두 로지애
빛나 보두리 두 로지애
other name/s.
MÉLITTE BAUDRY DE LOZIÈRES ¦ BINNA SONG those are her creole and korean names, respectfully. technically her full name is mélitte binna baudry de lozières-song, but that would've been too long on her korean citizenship papers.
"MY NAME MEANS 'BRIGHT', DON'T I LOOK LIKE A BRIGHT LITTLE SPRITE? I STUCK WITH MY FATHER'S SURNAME BECAUSE I ENJOY WATCHING KOREAN PEOPLE STRUGGLE TO PRONOUNCE IT ALL. ONLY HALF KIDDING, 'BINNA SONG' IS BORING. IT DOESN'T SOUND BRIGHT AT ALL."
MÉLITTE BAUDRY DE LOZIÈRES ¦ BINNA SONG those are her creole and korean names, respectfully. technically her full name is mélitte binna baudry de lozières-song, but that would've been too long on her korean citizenship papers.
"MY NAME MEANS 'BRIGHT', DON'T I LOOK LIKE A BRIGHT LITTLE SPRITE? I STUCK WITH MY FATHER'S SURNAME BECAUSE I ENJOY WATCHING KOREAN PEOPLE STRUGGLE TO PRONOUNCE IT ALL. ONLY HALF KIDDING, 'BINNA SONG' IS BORING. IT DOESN'T SOUND BRIGHT AT ALL."
date of birth. 06/02/1994 + 22
birthplace. new orleans, louisiana, usa
hometown. seoul, sk
ethnicity. korean-creole
nationality. korean-american
languages.
EN advanced. though binna was born in new orleans, she only spent a few years of her life there—6 to be exact. the rest of her english language skills developed in france as a result of schooling.
FR fluent. binna spent most of her life in france and as a result, spent most of her life speaking french. french is the language in which she speaks to her father and her friends back home.
KR semi-fluent. throughout her life, binna only knew a bit of korean. actually, she understood more than she could speak and spent a lot of her life translating for her korean-speaking mother. binna's korean didn't improve until she moved to korea at the age of 18.
EN advanced. though binna was born in new orleans, she only spent a few years of her life there—6 to be exact. the rest of her english language skills developed in france as a result of schooling.
FR fluent. binna spent most of her life in france and as a result, spent most of her life speaking french. french is the language in which she speaks to her father and her friends back home.
KR semi-fluent. throughout her life, binna only knew a bit of korean. actually, she understood more than she could speak and spent a lot of her life translating for her korean-speaking mother. binna's korean didn't improve until she moved to korea at the age of 18.
ORIENTATION. panual & demiromantic
PRONOUNS. she / her / hers
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME FOR ONE MOMENT THAT YOU SEE HOW OFTEN I KISS GIRLS AND THINK I'M STRAIGHT. YOU TRULY CANNOT."
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME FOR ONE MOMENT THAT YOU SEE HOW OFTEN I KISS GIRLS AND THINK I'M STRAIGHT. YOU TRULY CANNOT."
STEP FOUR.
stage name. BINNA her name, what else can she say?
position. bassist, songwriter
backup pos. manager, guitarist, vocalist, synthesiser, drum, any please any
# experience. 16 years playing bass, 10 years of songwriting
"YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME PRETTY GIRLS SHOULD BE THE CENTER OF ANY GROUP, THAT THEY SHOULD BE SEEN BECAUSE THEY'RE A BLESSING TO THE WORLD. GRANTED, I THINK IT WAS JUST A GUY HITTING ON ME, BUT I DON'T WANNA BE SEEN. I PLAY BASS BECAUSE IT'S THE HEARTBEAT OF ANY SONG. WITHOUT BASS, YOU CAN'T FEEL THE SONG SHAKING YOUR HEART. SO INSTEAD OF WANTING TO BE SEEN, I WANT TO BE NEEDED. AND FELT. AND HEARD. AND ALIVE."
"YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME PRETTY GIRLS SHOULD BE THE CENTER OF ANY GROUP, THAT THEY SHOULD BE SEEN BECAUSE THEY'RE A BLESSING TO THE WORLD. GRANTED, I THINK IT WAS JUST A GUY HITTING ON ME, BUT I DON'T WANNA BE SEEN. I PLAY BASS BECAUSE IT'S THE HEARTBEAT OF ANY SONG. WITHOUT BASS, YOU CAN'T FEEL THE SONG SHAKING YOUR HEART. SO INSTEAD OF WANTING TO BE SEEN, I WANT TO BE NEEDED. AND FELT. AND HEARD. AND ALIVE."
resumé.
binna has wrote and composed many songs for her own band, kimchi à-coup, but has also wrote songs for other bands as well. she's been the lead bassist for the band kimchi à-coup for five years ( 2006 - 2011 ).
binna has wrote and composed many songs for her own band, kimchi à-coup, but has also wrote songs for other bands as well. she's been the lead bassist for the band kimchi à-coup for five years ( 2006 - 2011 ).
JW: what made you decide to join ngsy?
a small smile tugs at her lips, or rather, as small a smile as binna baudry de lozières can have. she looks at junwi with her head cocked, tongue in cheek as she searches for something. "you don't know by now, junwi?" he rolls his eyes at her and probes her to answer the question. "i guess... it's because i love bass. but i guess it's also because... hm. should i tell you more?" junwi nods, pleads with his eyes. he just wants to get this over with. "and i did it so i could heal."
jw: hm, what do you think of your skills? what makes you better than the rest? what can you offer ngsy?
"hm." she says, and junwi can see the tongue poking around inside her cheek as she giggles. "'better than the rest'? that's a bit much, don't you think? i mean, i can say i've been playing bass longer than anyone else in the group. and i can say that i'm a pretty decent composer and i can write some good lyrics sometimes."
"hm." she says, and junwi can see the tongue poking around inside her cheek as she giggles. "'better than the rest'? that's a bit much, don't you think? i mean, i can say i've been playing bass longer than anyone else in the group. and i can say that i'm a pretty decent composer and i can write some good lyrics sometimes."
jw: (sighs) as you know, we debuted three years ago. how has the journey been? what has happened so far? do you see it as a good or bad experience?
she nibbles on the hook of her own finger, leaning forward in her chair. "good and bad... i don't really believe in that stuff. it's just an experience. some parts have been good and some have been bad." she pauses, breathing before she continues. "i drank a lot. we drank a lot. i took my clothes off a lot, i wrote a lot of music, i fell in love with bass again. it's been a lot but i've enjoyed it."
she nibbles on the hook of her own finger, leaning forward in her chair. "good and bad... i don't really believe in that stuff. it's just an experience. some parts have been good and some have been bad." she pauses, breathing before she continues. "i drank a lot. we drank a lot. i took my clothes off a lot, i wrote a lot of music, i fell in love with bass again. it's been a lot but i've enjoyed it."
jw: alright, (frowns) well i didn't plan this question... but if today i gave you the choice to leave ngsy, would you take it?
"there would be no choice." she says, eyes meeting junwi's. "for me, there is no choice other than ngsy."
"there would be no choice." she says, eyes meeting junwi's. "for me, there is no choice other than ngsy."
jw: what do you wish for in the next year?
she smiles brightly, like her name suggests, "i wish for more alcohol and more time to spend with you, junwi. i wish for everyone to remain healthy and i wish for us to continue on."
she smiles brightly, like her name suggests, "i wish for more alcohol and more time to spend with you, junwi. i wish for everyone to remain healthy and i wish for us to continue on."
jw: interesting. last question, are you close to any of the members?
"hm..." she drums her long fingers against her bony knee, chin resting in her palm as she thinks. "you, junwi." he gives her a withering look and she laughs, "what, too cheesy? you look very handsome like that, you know." he groans.
"hm..." she drums her long fingers against her bony knee, chin resting in her palm as she thinks. "you, junwi." he gives her a withering look and she laughs, "what, too cheesy? you look very handsome like that, you know." he groans.
STEP THREE.
personality.
I LIKE PEOPLE, AND I LIKE THEM TO LIKE ME, BUT I WEAR MY HEART WHERE GOD PUT IT, ON THE INSIDE — F SCOTT FITZGERALD
she sits in a world made solely of herself. her place is half haven and half prison, and made entirely of herself. colors and smells and touches and sounds splash against her skin, her surface. and oh, was she fond of those things. she kept them organized by what they were and how they made her feel. she sits in a world made solely of herself, with splashes of purple across her body as she watches everyone else in the other world. she watches them feel sorrow and rage and regret and remorse and she envies them because she can't. she sees the things others don't but she can't relate to them. she sits in a world made solely of herself, and her emotions live in a separate world themselves, unaccessable by her. she's not like them. she worries for them, because they're so fragile. they have their hearts broken and dreams crushed, and they don't deserve that because they're beautiful. she always worries about them. her desire to care for them is stronger than her desire to protect herself because she's not like them. she's not like them and so she sits in a world made solely of herself hoping, praying that one day she can feel everything they do.
"YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I LIKE PURPLE? THAT'S AN ODD QUETSION, INNIT? CAN'T I LIKE A COLOR TO LIKE A COLOR? DIDYA KNOW PURPLE IS THE MOST POWERFUL WAVELENGTH? ONLY A FEW STEPS AWAY FROM GAMMA RAYS AND X-RAYS. IT'S ALWAYS HAD A HISTORY OF BEING UNCOMMON IN NATURE. NOT QUITE RIGHT. NOT QUITE THERE. PURPLE REMINDS ME OF ME. DECADENT. CONCIETED. POMPOUS. UNNATURAL. DON'T YOU AGREE IT SUITS ME WELL?"
TRIVIA.
ONE likes monet, art galleries & museums, film festivals, documentaries, dogs, cool socks, graphic tees, patbingsu, online shopping, fake plants, cajun food, 60s japanese jazz music like hako yamasaki and taeko onuki.
TWO dislikes hot beverages, floral prints, birds, people not putting back in the right place, feeling like she's not feeling things properly, people acting as if being with her will fix all of their personal problems, television and mainstream media.
THREE enjoys stripping in front of people far more than she probably should. she's almost always trying to get in front of the ngsy members. tries to punch flies out of the air, kisses everyone, forgets to blink, creates approximately 569 plans and backup plans in case things come crashing down around her, touching everything, saying 'hm', staring at people like the only reason she's so perceptive is because she stares at everyone so much that she knows their body language and habits.
FOUR hobbies include going to museums, watching cult-classic films. saying hi to every dog, drinking, coordinating outfits and makeup looks, baking at 3 am, bugging junwi, playing dating sims.
FIVE is the kind of drunk to dance for 5 hours straight, tells everyone they're beautiful, and kisses everyone. she's a very blissful drunk and is just really happy to be included and cries because she loves you so much even though she just met you.
SIX is always getting flamed by junwi. granted, she sets it up herself what with her idisyncracies and the dumb things that come out of .
SEVEN once said a circle had eight sides, was convinced "escalator" was the word for "elevator" and actively argued that she was right for at least two hours, got caugh in the rain after buying shampoo and proceded to wash her hair in the middle of the street in the rain, catfished a member's brother by pretending to be a girl from a dating site, asked junwi whether there was something such as respectful winking or if winking was inherently ual, drunk cried because she wanted to party, talked at length about how she thought paintings were social constructs because of how all art is now digital, got ran over by a tricycle and had to go to the hospital, got tangled inside those pencil pouches made of zipper, bought a fake cactus and named it "joe the thinking cactus".
EIGHT has an odd way of pronouncing things. like, she has a large vocabulary and knows how to use these words, she just pronounces them wrong. word like "epitome" and "academia" and "susceptibility". and because korean is her third language, she gets confused on certain things like past tense and numbers. she'll say "cutted" instead of "cut" and "fat" instead of "fit". and for numbers she'll outright say them in english. she has a very wide vocabulary but will occasionally forget how to say the simplest things like "welcome" and "my name is". she also has a tendency to think faster than the conversation is going. so she'll already have 18 different ideas that she's connected and say the result of that connection, which really isn't always in line with the flow of the conversation, so she has to backtrack.
NINE has everything anyone could ever need in her bag. tissues, condoms, a makeup bag, bottled water, snacks, wallet, phone, headphones, charger, socks, extra undies, spare shirt, extra leggings, flats, a bunch of pens, gum, breath mints, deodorant, perfume, pony tails and bobby pins, feminine care products, painkillers, a book, lotion, an odd and possibly evil-looking artifact and more.
TEN accidentally ended up becomming "team mom". she definitely didn't do it on purpose, it all started with her watching out for the other members and helping them whenever they needed help and like, waking them up gently from naps. then it slowly evolved into binna cleaning the whole dorm and making food for everyone becuase god knows when these kids have had a healthy meal, and waking everyone up in time for them to get ready for schedules. she consistently compliments everyone and frets over them, asks how their days were, listens to their problems, gives solid advice and the best hugs and now she's been imprinted on by a bunch of baby ducklings.
ELEVEN fears silence from people she trusts, abandonment, failing, being made fun of, fully giving her love to someone and being betrayed, heartbreak.
TWELVE overthinks things a lot. not normal things like if she's doing the right thing with her life, but bigger things, things outside one's point of view. things like the negative societal implications of characters represented in dramas and cartoons ( which is why she doesn't watch tv ). things like the stark and harsh gender roles present in society and her purpose in life and how the way she interacts with people encapsulates all her flaws. just things about the world around her that she's trying to connect in her mind.
THIRTEEN something she feels a lot that many other people wouldn't expect is loneliness. even in a dorm full of other people, there's no changing the fact that binna is very emotionally secluded. it's painful to lack direct meaningful contact with people, but she doesn't think it's worth making the effort because she's different. she doesn't want to waste her breath on someone who won't understand, and so that leaves her with herself.
FOURTEEN wants to live a life of simple freedoms. one where she can not wear shoes for a day and then wear a ballgown the next. when she can be as weird as she wants and the eyes around her only hold genuine smiles and open arms.
FIFTEEN usually when she writes songs, she writes them from the perspective of others. like how all the people she's dated felt because she would always leave them at midnight like cinderella, the way isang probably feels when he's being everyone's boyfriend. if she does write songs from her persepctive, they're much more somber and melancholic.
AESTHETICS OF BINNA BAUDRY DE LOZIÈRES writing college essays on the legalization of , stealing mannequins from old navy, unearned love, small towns on starry nights, driving a manual convertible with too many people too fast in a parking lot, gray skies, dry bushes, house parties, burned out lightbulbs, the smell before it rains, colorful winged liner, frizzy hair, scuffed shoes, fraying hems.
I LIKE PEOPLE, AND I LIKE THEM TO LIKE ME, BUT I WEAR MY HEART WHERE GOD PUT IT, ON THE INSIDE — F SCOTT FITZGERALD
AQUARIUS ¦ THE PRIESTESS ¦ ISFP
PERCEPTIVE, ORGANIZED, AESTHETE
RELIABLE, WITTY.
ZANY, ACERBIC
AFFECTIONATE, INDIVIDUALISTIC.
DETACHED, APPREHENSIVE, WAYWARD
EGOCENTRIC, PRETENTIOUS.
CLOUDCUCKOOLANDER ¦ TRUE NEUTRAL ¦ SANGUINE
FEMALE ENERGY BY WILLOW SMITH
conversing with light bodies
but really they're all apart of me.
let's get the whip and go
'cause i'm tired of this solar ring.
she sits in a world made solely of herself. her place is half haven and half prison, and made entirely of herself. colors and smells and touches and sounds splash against her skin, her surface. and oh, was she fond of those things. she kept them organized by what they were and how they made her feel. she sits in a world made solely of herself, with splashes of purple across her body as she watches everyone else in the other world. she watches them feel sorrow and rage and regret and remorse and she envies them because she can't. she sees the things others don't but she can't relate to them. she sits in a world made solely of herself, and her emotions live in a separate world themselves, unaccessable by her. she's not like them. she worries for them, because they're so fragile. they have their hearts broken and dreams crushed, and they don't deserve that because they're beautiful. she always worries about them. her desire to care for them is stronger than her desire to protect herself because she's not like them. she's not like them and so she sits in a world made solely of herself hoping, praying that one day she can feel everything they do.
"YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I LIKE PURPLE? THAT'S AN ODD QUETSION, INNIT? CAN'T I LIKE A COLOR TO LIKE A COLOR? DIDYA KNOW PURPLE IS THE MOST POWERFUL WAVELENGTH? ONLY A FEW STEPS AWAY FROM GAMMA RAYS AND X-RAYS. IT'S ALWAYS HAD A HISTORY OF BEING UNCOMMON IN NATURE. NOT QUITE RIGHT. NOT QUITE THERE. PURPLE REMINDS ME OF ME. DECADENT. CONCIETED. POMPOUS. UNNATURAL. DON'T YOU AGREE IT SUITS ME WELL?"
TRIVIA.
ONE likes monet, art galleries & museums, film festivals, documentaries, dogs, cool socks, graphic tees, patbingsu, online shopping, fake plants, cajun food, 60s japanese jazz music like hako yamasaki and taeko onuki.
TWO dislikes hot beverages, floral prints, birds, people not putting back in the right place, feeling like she's not feeling things properly, people acting as if being with her will fix all of their personal problems, television and mainstream media.
THREE enjoys stripping in front of people far more than she probably should. she's almost always trying to get in front of the ngsy members. tries to punch flies out of the air, kisses everyone, forgets to blink, creates approximately 569 plans and backup plans in case things come crashing down around her, touching everything, saying 'hm', staring at people like the only reason she's so perceptive is because she stares at everyone so much that she knows their body language and habits.
FOUR hobbies include going to museums, watching cult-classic films. saying hi to every dog, drinking, coordinating outfits and makeup looks, baking at 3 am, bugging junwi, playing dating sims.
FIVE is the kind of drunk to dance for 5 hours straight, tells everyone they're beautiful, and kisses everyone. she's a very blissful drunk and is just really happy to be included and cries because she loves you so much even though she just met you.
SIX is always getting flamed by junwi. granted, she sets it up herself what with her idisyncracies and the dumb things that come out of .
SEVEN once said a circle had eight sides, was convinced "escalator" was the word for "elevator" and actively argued that she was right for at least two hours, got caugh in the rain after buying shampoo and proceded to wash her hair in the middle of the street in the rain, catfished a member's brother by pretending to be a girl from a dating site, asked junwi whether there was something such as respectful winking or if winking was inherently ual, drunk cried because she wanted to party, talked at length about how she thought paintings were social constructs because of how all art is now digital, got ran over by a tricycle and had to go to the hospital, got tangled inside those pencil pouches made of zipper, bought a fake cactus and named it "joe the thinking cactus".
EIGHT has an odd way of pronouncing things. like, she has a large vocabulary and knows how to use these words, she just pronounces them wrong. word like "epitome" and "academia" and "susceptibility". and because korean is her third language, she gets confused on certain things like past tense and numbers. she'll say "cutted" instead of "cut" and "fat" instead of "fit". and for numbers she'll outright say them in english. she has a very wide vocabulary but will occasionally forget how to say the simplest things like "welcome" and "my name is". she also has a tendency to think faster than the conversation is going. so she'll already have 18 different ideas that she's connected and say the result of that connection, which really isn't always in line with the flow of the conversation, so she has to backtrack.
NINE has everything anyone could ever need in her bag. tissues, condoms, a makeup bag, bottled water, snacks, wallet, phone, headphones, charger, socks, extra undies, spare shirt, extra leggings, flats, a bunch of pens, gum, breath mints, deodorant, perfume, pony tails and bobby pins, feminine care products, painkillers, a book, lotion, an odd and possibly evil-looking artifact and more.
TEN accidentally ended up becomming "team mom". she definitely didn't do it on purpose, it all started with her watching out for the other members and helping them whenever they needed help and like, waking them up gently from naps. then it slowly evolved into binna cleaning the whole dorm and making food for everyone becuase god knows when these kids have had a healthy meal, and waking everyone up in time for them to get ready for schedules. she consistently compliments everyone and frets over them, asks how their days were, listens to their problems, gives solid advice and the best hugs and now she's been imprinted on by a bunch of baby ducklings.
ELEVEN fears silence from people she trusts, abandonment, failing, being made fun of, fully giving her love to someone and being betrayed, heartbreak.
TWELVE overthinks things a lot. not normal things like if she's doing the right thing with her life, but bigger things, things outside one's point of view. things like the negative societal implications of characters represented in dramas and cartoons ( which is why she doesn't watch tv ). things like the stark and harsh gender roles present in society and her purpose in life and how the way she interacts with people encapsulates all her flaws. just things about the world around her that she's trying to connect in her mind.
THIRTEEN something she feels a lot that many other people wouldn't expect is loneliness. even in a dorm full of other people, there's no changing the fact that binna is very emotionally secluded. it's painful to lack direct meaningful contact with people, but she doesn't think it's worth making the effort because she's different. she doesn't want to waste her breath on someone who won't understand, and so that leaves her with herself.
FOURTEEN wants to live a life of simple freedoms. one where she can not wear shoes for a day and then wear a ballgown the next. when she can be as weird as she wants and the eyes around her only hold genuine smiles and open arms.
FIFTEEN usually when she writes songs, she writes them from the perspective of others. like how all the people she's dated felt because she would always leave them at midnight like cinderella, the way isang probably feels when he's being everyone's boyfriend. if she does write songs from her persepctive, they're much more somber and melancholic.
AESTHETICS OF BINNA BAUDRY DE LOZIÈRES writing college essays on the legalization of , stealing mannequins from old navy, unearned love, small towns on starry nights, driving a manual convertible with too many people too fast in a parking lot, gray skies, dry bushes, house parties, burned out lightbulbs, the smell before it rains, colorful winged liner, frizzy hair, scuffed shoes, fraying hems.
timeline.
on february sixth, nineteen ninety-four, binna baudry de lozières is born to her half creole-half korean father and her full korean mother. her father's name is bartholome hyuk baudry de lozières and her mother's name is haru song. she spent the first six years of her life in new orleans before her family got up and moved to france as per her father's insistence.
the life of binna baudry de lozières isn't sad, at least she doesn't think of it as sad. instead she looks over the memories of her in muted colors, a fuzzy static that doesn't move or fill her. what much is there to say?
she found her father's bass as they were packing up to move to paris, and he taught her how to play. he even gave her his bass. in paris, she was teased for being "different", which she half suspects meant not white and half meant actually kinda weird. she joined a garage band called kimchi à-coup or kimchi jerks in english. her mother didn't approve of her being in a band, and especially didn't approve of her being alone with so many boys at once. binna was the only girl in the band of five, and she served as their lyricist, composer, and poster girl. she fell in love with their lead singer and front man, eliot kim. and he was in love with her too, at least that's what everyone said. the band enjoyed a semi-successful run.
the success of kimchi à-coup didn't matter to binna's mother because it was a waste of binna's time. when binna and the boys were 16, her love, eliot kim was hit by a bus. he was in a coma for about a year, and it was during that year, when binna baudry de lozières had to lay down at his still body and speak to him and not get an answer that she forced herself to no longer feel. binna became detached from her feelings, from the pain of watching eliot's unmoving body day after day. after a year of being on life support, eliot's parents pulled the plug. and for an entire year afterwards, binna had to deal with being berated for grieving by her mother. he was just a silly kid. he was going to be nothing more than a bum in the future. binna promised herself she wouldn't play the bass ever again because the strumming of strings reminded her of the steady beating of eliot's heart monitor.
she tells the entire story as if it's not her own. because to her, it might as well not be. she doesn't want it to be. after enduring another year with her mother, binna decided to move out. she saved up money for a ticket to korea and packed her bags and flew out. she kinda floated from place to place for a while until she ran out of money. then she worked small jobs. and every night she'd come back to her ty ocktabbang and look at her father's bass, kimchi à-coup's bass, eliot kim's bass.
and the more she looked at her bass, the more she realized it would be a sin to not touch it, to not think of him and all the time they spent together. she strummed the strings once again and everything began to feel okay.
"THERE ARE TWO ESSENTIAL ASPECTS OF HUMAN EXISTENCE, SUFFERING AND JOY. WE CANNOT CHOOSE WHICH COMES AND GOES AT WHICH TIME. ALL WE CAN DO IS TELL OUR STORIES AS IF THEY WEREN'T OUR OWN AND HOPE WE CAN HOLD IT TOGETHER UNTIL WE GET HOME."
on february sixth, nineteen ninety-four, binna baudry de lozières is born to her half creole-half korean father and her full korean mother. her father's name is bartholome hyuk baudry de lozières and her mother's name is haru song. she spent the first six years of her life in new orleans before her family got up and moved to france as per her father's insistence.
the life of binna baudry de lozières isn't sad, at least she doesn't think of it as sad. instead she looks over the memories of her in muted colors, a fuzzy static that doesn't move or fill her. what much is there to say?
she found her father's bass as they were packing up to move to paris, and he taught her how to play. he even gave her his bass. in paris, she was teased for being "different", which she half suspects meant not white and half meant actually kinda weird. she joined a garage band called kimchi à-coup or kimchi jerks in english. her mother didn't approve of her being in a band, and especially didn't approve of her being alone with so many boys at once. binna was the only girl in the band of five, and she served as their lyricist, composer, and poster girl. she fell in love with their lead singer and front man, eliot kim. and he was in love with her too, at least that's what everyone said. the band enjoyed a semi-successful run.
the success of kimchi à-coup didn't matter to binna's mother because it was a waste of binna's time. when binna and the boys were 16, her love, eliot kim was hit by a bus. he was in a coma for about a year, and it was during that year, when binna baudry de lozières had to lay down at his still body and speak to him and not get an answer that she forced herself to no longer feel. binna became detached from her feelings, from the pain of watching eliot's unmoving body day after day. after a year of being on life support, eliot's parents pulled the plug. and for an entire year afterwards, binna had to deal with being berated for grieving by her mother. he was just a silly kid. he was going to be nothing more than a bum in the future. binna promised herself she wouldn't play the bass ever again because the strumming of strings reminded her of the steady beating of eliot's heart monitor.
she tells the entire story as if it's not her own. because to her, it might as well not be. she doesn't want it to be. after enduring another year with her mother, binna decided to move out. she saved up money for a ticket to korea and packed her bags and flew out. she kinda floated from place to place for a while until she ran out of money. then she worked small jobs. and every night she'd come back to her ty ocktabbang and look at her father's bass, kimchi à-coup's bass, eliot kim's bass.
and the more she looked at her bass, the more she realized it would be a sin to not touch it, to not think of him and all the time they spent together. she strummed the strings once again and everything began to feel okay.
"THERE ARE TWO ESSENTIAL ASPECTS OF HUMAN EXISTENCE, SUFFERING AND JOY. WE CANNOT CHOOSE WHICH COMES AND GOES AT WHICH TIME. ALL WE CAN DO IS TELL OUR STORIES AS IF THEY WEREN'T OUR OWN AND HOPE WE CAN HOLD IT TOGETHER UNTIL WE GET HOME."
STEP TWO.
faceclaim. twice's im nayeon
backup fc. red velvet's joy
height. 168 cm
weight. 50 kg
appearance.
her eyes are genial and fearless, though her gaze seems far-away. she always appears to be lost in deep thought, a stare like she's looking at something off in the distance. her eyelashes droop downwards, the shape of her eyes large and almond. her eyes make her seem firmly grounded, but as soon as she opens , an alien and distant psyche is revealed. the features of her face are thin and well-defined and girlish. a nose with a delicate slope, chubby rosy cheeks, and a toothy grin that reminds people of a rabbit.
she could be an alien, you never know. a rather attractive alien. pale skin and dark hair, a lithe and waifish figure. she walks the earth barefoot, resembling an east asian uma thurman from pulp fiction. her body is nothing special in terms of glamour, instead it's rather gamine with subtle curves. she's like a string bean, thin with long limbs. she's approximately 75% leg, something that makes drunk stripping more difficult than it should be.
binna baudry de lozières has a mischevious kind of beauty to her, the kind that forces you to look twice and keeps you entranced. it's wild, and hard to ignore.
"DO I THINK I'M PRETTY? HM. EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR, I'M FORCED TO CONFRONT THE FALSE IMAGE OF MYSELF THAT I'VE CREATED IN MY MIND. I THINK I LOOK WEIRD. LIKE AN ALIEN, OR SOMETHING. BUT RATHER THAN PRETTY, I'D RATHER BE A CRYPTID, WOULDN'T YOU?"
her eyes are genial and fearless, though her gaze seems far-away. she always appears to be lost in deep thought, a stare like she's looking at something off in the distance. her eyelashes droop downwards, the shape of her eyes large and almond. her eyes make her seem firmly grounded, but as soon as she opens , an alien and distant psyche is revealed. the features of her face are thin and well-defined and girlish. a nose with a delicate slope, chubby rosy cheeks, and a toothy grin that reminds people of a rabbit.
she could be an alien, you never know. a rather attractive alien. pale skin and dark hair, a lithe and waifish figure. she walks the earth barefoot, resembling an east asian uma thurman from pulp fiction. her body is nothing special in terms of glamour, instead it's rather gamine with subtle curves. she's like a string bean, thin with long limbs. she's approximately 75% leg, something that makes drunk stripping more difficult than it should be.
binna baudry de lozières has a mischevious kind of beauty to her, the kind that forces you to look twice and keeps you entranced. it's wild, and hard to ignore.
"DO I THINK I'M PRETTY? HM. EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR, I'M FORCED TO CONFRONT THE FALSE IMAGE OF MYSELF THAT I'VE CREATED IN MY MIND. I THINK I LOOK WEIRD. LIKE AN ALIEN, OR SOMETHING. BUT RATHER THAN PRETTY, I'D RATHER BE A CRYPTID, WOULDN'T YOU?"
fashion.
she wears things with more of an antique, autumn hole-in-the-wall bookstore feel if that makes sense. a mix between casual prep and vintage. detailed printed blouses in rich, deep colors with slim jeans. below the knee length plaid skirts with a white blouse, string tie, and thick cardigan, and t-strap shoes. cuffed jeans and vintage sweaters. long vintage-printed dresses with sweaters over it. gray checkered a-line skirt tucked into a sweater.
basically a lot of sweaters and either long skirts or jeans. very rarely a shorter skirt or a dress.
"I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO DRESS MORE ODDLY THAN I DO, BUT CLOTHES ARE CLOTHES AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF THEM."
she wears things with more of an antique, autumn hole-in-the-wall bookstore feel if that makes sense. a mix between casual prep and vintage. detailed printed blouses in rich, deep colors with slim jeans. below the knee length plaid skirts with a white blouse, string tie, and thick cardigan, and t-strap shoes. cuffed jeans and vintage sweaters. long vintage-printed dresses with sweaters over it. gray checkered a-line skirt tucked into a sweater.
basically a lot of sweaters and either long skirts or jeans. very rarely a shorter skirt or a dress.
"I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO DRESS MORE ODDLY THAN I DO, BUT CLOTHES ARE CLOTHES AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF THEM."
STEP FIVE.
relationships.
"INNIT ODD? PEOPLE ARE OPEN TO ME, BUT I'M NOT OPEN TO PEOPLE. AND YET, DESPITE ALL THE ODDS STACKED AGAINST US, WE'RE ALL PLACED HERE, IN THIS MOMENT, TOGETHER."
ELIOT KIM
first loves are bittersweet and volatile, ever changing and evolving as each party grows into who they truly are. she met him and her universe shifted. binna recalls all the little moments she and eliot shared, his hand touching hers as he helps her tune her bass, something she never needed helped doing but something that gave him an excuse to touch her hand. she remembers him bringing fresh croissants over to her house and enduring the painful glares of her mother to cheer her up after a long day. she recalls the splashes of sun against her skin as she kissed him for the first time, he turned red as tteokbokki and ran in the other direction before tripping and scrapping his knee.
whenever she strums her bass, she's reminded of heartbeat. his heartbeat through the heart monitor, day in and day out for an entire year until he died. sometimes she has fleeting memories of her time spent visiting him in the hospital, watching him sleep even though he wasn't really sleeping. she wants to feel things, she really does, but losing eliot kim made her harden, made her lose touch with her emotional side.
losing him definitely made her afraid of losing anyone else. he's the reason she worries so much, he's the reason she takes care of everyone and not herself. if she lost anyone else, she wouldn't be able to handle it.
KO JUNWI eliot always said she looked prettiest playing bass, and she wonders if that's true as her eyes flicker up from the strings her fingers strum and to his face. he's observing her, watching the way her fingers dance. did he think she was pretty? she doesn't know what it is, but it feels as if her whole universe shifts, something she hasn't felt in so long. she can't place her finger on it. this man is a challenge, this man is fun, this man interests her.
infatuation describes binna and junwi, or, does fascination? she isn't quite sure, but she does know there's something about junwi that draws her to him. maybe it's because they're constantly dancing around each other, a completely unconscious waltz through life together. junwi is the "me" while binna is the "everyone". she likes to push his buttons, just so she can watch all of his "handsome" faces. binna brings attention to him, she riles him up, and he can't help but argue with her. and she likes it. despite how much she likes to pester him, binna's happy to oblige to his incredibly specific standards. he appreciates how organized she is for such a seemingly chaotic person. they're both sharp in wits and words, so they play off each other well and not an hour passes without some quip from either one of them.
even though he's choleric, his hot temper also translates to warmth in binna's eyes. and she likes that. she likes how mysterious he is, he's like a puzzle for her to figure out. and she can only assume he enjoys her magnetic quirkiness. despite provocation, they level each other well. she quells his spikes of anger and fussiness while he keeps her close to the hearth of attachment instead of detachment. with their minds coming together, they can solve all the world's problems. her creativity and his drive to work, they are a force to be reckoned with.
they throw back a few drinks together in front of a convience store on a sticky summer night. they talk succinctly, yet with a lot laying between the lines. he says something about their latest conflict, how she's disagreeing with him just to with him. seeing him so mad at being vulnerable, she knows exactly how he feels. she knows how he feels but she'll never directly tell him that because that would be admitting that she was attached, and that would make her vulnerable, which would make her mad like he is now.
they both think they have an ability better than others, that they have the given privilege of being detached from their emotions and that somehow makes them infallible. she laughs at the bitter irony of it all and takes a swig of soju.
"more like 'who has the more overbearing god complex', huh junwi?"
he gives her a withering look before shaking his head and bringing his bottle to his lips.
"shut up, binna."
LOVE EXPERIENCE.
binna dates around a lot, she always has. but none of her romances have lasted very long for one of four reasons : they get jealous of her overly-affectionate ways, they get fed up with her being so detached and distant, she feels like they're pressuring her into moving too fast, or because they get into one small fight and binna decides to break up with them right then and there. she wants a love that's more like a best friendship, one without grand romantic gestures and with small, meaningful ones instead.
binna realizes that she does only date around so much to try and fill the void eliot kim left in her heart, and that no one can ever live up to him. around the anniversary of his death, she gets around a lot more, wih just about anybody she can because it keeps her mind from drifting to him.
"I KNOW I'M NOT PRETTY AND THERE'S NO ONE WHO WILL REALLY LOVE ME, BUT I WANNA BE LOVED."
LOVE INTEREST.
"AND MAYBE, KO JUNWI, THE ONE TO DO IT'LL BE YOU."
she believes that everyone is brought together for a reason, and she especially believes that when she looks at junwi. she isn't exactly sure what they're supposed to be, but she knows that he was destined to be in her life. they dance side by side down this path, down ngsy's path. they're pressed closely together and from her spot against his shoulder she looks up at his face. and goodness, does he look handsome.
and with their bodies pressed so closely together, she can feel his warmth. she can feel a fluttering. she can feel. against his chest, he keeps her close to the hearth of feelings. her fingers travel up to his shirt, feeling the fabric against her tips. their minds connect. she has the ideas and he has the execution. it makes her feel fulfilled, having someone who gets her in such a way.
she's drinking alone, long after the others have gone to sleep. her bass sits on her lap, the curves resting on her slim thighs. a notebook rests in front of her, and she leans forward after strumming a few chords and scribbling it down. drink, strum, scribble, repeat. junwi comes in with a plastic bag.
"i figured you'd be up." he says, taking off his shoes and closing the door behind him. she watches him, chin buried in her arm as she cranes her body to look over the couch.
"came all this way just to see me, huh?"
he smiles, but it's only brief. he approaches the couch, her eyes glued to his figure the whole time. he sits down beside her and pulls out about half a dozen cans of beer and a small pile of samgak-kimpab. she sets her bass to the side, reaching for some kimbap. she pulls her bare legs up to her chest, slim toes wriggling in joy as she takes a bite.
they sit and talk and eat and drink. she tells him about the song she's writing. she strums it for him on her bass, and she looks pretty. throughout the whole night, she inches closer to him and he doesn't move away. she gets so drunk she forgot her original task of writing, and so she lays on his lap instead. his hand comes down upon her head slowly, cautiously, as if he's wondering if he should dare. he does, and she falls asleep like that.
ko junwi is no stranger to the love lines of binna baudry de lozières. half the time she's out on dates, and the other half she's working. his brows furrow as he looks at the time on his watch, she's late. they weren't having a date or anything, they just met up occasionally to talk about the group and songs. either way, she was late. she walks in after another half hour, just after junwi has sent his third text to her. she sits across from him, sliding into the booth.
"sorry," she breathes, "i broke up with jihoon. it got a little messy."
"you know binna, keep breaking up with people like you do, and we'll end up with a bunch of scorned devils on our asses."
"well then, you'll just have to defeat all my evil exes." she grins, but he's not smiling. in fact, he looks rather sour.
"i mean it, binna. don't date people if you're just going to break up with them."
"you'd rather have me stay in a stifling relationship just to preserve the other person's feelings?"
he sighs, "that's not what i'm saying. look, you're young and pretty—"
"all the more reason to date around."
his look is equal parts withering and choleric. "what will the fans say?"
"who cares?"
"i care. stop dating so flippantly."
she scoffs, leaning back in the booth seat, eyes rolling. "what, you're trying to enforce a dating ban on me?"
"no—"
"what makes you think i'll follow that? you think i won't go behind your back and date secretly? fine, i'll take pleasure in the thrill—"
"why are you like this?"
"the same reason you're like that, presumably."
"what are you trying to compensate for? what hole are you trying to fill by dating all these people?"
"um, obviously i'm trying to fill all my holes!" she slams her hands onto the table, standing up and growing louder with each word. "i'm a who loves to get her holes filled, ko. jun. wi! i, mélitte bi—"
he darts up, covering with his hand and pulling her back down into the seat. people are staring at them, whispering. he gets up and boy, if looks could kill. she gets up and trails closely behind him as if she hadn't just publicly humiliated him. he doesn't speak to her, and she walks beside him in silence for a while.
she approaches him hours later, when they're pulling a long night at the studio getting everyone's parts recorded for their songs. binna and junwi watch isang playing his drums from the other side of the looking glass. she sits with her legs pulled up to her chest, not once looking at junwi.
"have i really never told you about eliot?"
he understands her a little bit more. she knows it's a risky game she's playing because the more she lets junwi in, the more frightened she gets that he'll leave. that's how she is with everyone, but with him, the anxiety is much more crippling. he already knows so much, he can't leave.
it's just them now. she wants to feel his warmth, to feel assurance that ko junwi's actually real and not something her depraived mind imagined up. she curls up under his arm and looks up at him as he shifts, "don't move." she tells him. he complies, silently.
she rests her head on the space between his shoulder and pec, legs folded neatly to her side. her ear rests near his heart, and she can hear it beating. he's real, he's alive. she's real, she's alive. her fingers dance along the fabric of his shirt. "hey, junwi?"
"hm?" nothing is said, but the sound is much gentler than it usually is.
"you're my person."
"your person?"
"yeah, my person."
maybe they aren't meant to fall in love. or maybe they already have. all she does know is that junwi is one of the people closest to her, closest to every part of her. her past, her bass, her emotions, her percieved self, and her actual self.
"OR MAYBE YOU WON'T."
also open for other love interests!!
SUGGESTIONS. the black skirts, hyukoh, moonlight dancing by fromm, sand by flask, astronomy by astronauts, ticket to the moon by the solutions. kiha & the faces.
"INNIT ODD? PEOPLE ARE OPEN TO ME, BUT I'M NOT OPEN TO PEOPLE. AND YET, DESPITE ALL THE ODDS STACKED AGAINST US, WE'RE ALL PLACED HERE, IN THIS MOMENT, TOGETHER."
ELIOT KIM
CAN'T STOP BY CNBLUE
can't stop me now.
can't stop me now.
i can't stop,
i can't stop loving you.
first loves are bittersweet and volatile, ever changing and evolving as each party grows into who they truly are. she met him and her universe shifted. binna recalls all the little moments she and eliot shared, his hand touching hers as he helps her tune her bass, something she never needed helped doing but something that gave him an excuse to touch her hand. she remembers him bringing fresh croissants over to her house and enduring the painful glares of her mother to cheer her up after a long day. she recalls the splashes of sun against her skin as she kissed him for the first time, he turned red as tteokbokki and ran in the other direction before tripping and scrapping his knee.
whenever she strums her bass, she's reminded of heartbeat. his heartbeat through the heart monitor, day in and day out for an entire year until he died. sometimes she has fleeting memories of her time spent visiting him in the hospital, watching him sleep even though he wasn't really sleeping. she wants to feel things, she really does, but losing eliot kim made her harden, made her lose touch with her emotional side.
losing him definitely made her afraid of losing anyone else. he's the reason she worries so much, he's the reason she takes care of everyone and not herself. if she lost anyone else, she wouldn't be able to handle it.
KO JUNWI eliot always said she looked prettiest playing bass, and she wonders if that's true as her eyes flicker up from the strings her fingers strum and to his face. he's observing her, watching the way her fingers dance. did he think she was pretty? she doesn't know what it is, but it feels as if her whole universe shifts, something she hasn't felt in so long. she can't place her finger on it. this man is a challenge, this man is fun, this man interests her.
infatuation describes binna and junwi, or, does fascination? she isn't quite sure, but she does know there's something about junwi that draws her to him. maybe it's because they're constantly dancing around each other, a completely unconscious waltz through life together. junwi is the "me" while binna is the "everyone". she likes to push his buttons, just so she can watch all of his "handsome" faces. binna brings attention to him, she riles him up, and he can't help but argue with her. and she likes it. despite how much she likes to pester him, binna's happy to oblige to his incredibly specific standards. he appreciates how organized she is for such a seemingly chaotic person. they're both sharp in wits and words, so they play off each other well and not an hour passes without some quip from either one of them.
even though he's choleric, his hot temper also translates to warmth in binna's eyes. and she likes that. she likes how mysterious he is, he's like a puzzle for her to figure out. and she can only assume he enjoys her magnetic quirkiness. despite provocation, they level each other well. she quells his spikes of anger and fussiness while he keeps her close to the hearth of attachment instead of detachment. with their minds coming together, they can solve all the world's problems. her creativity and his drive to work, they are a force to be reckoned with.
they throw back a few drinks together in front of a convience store on a sticky summer night. they talk succinctly, yet with a lot laying between the lines. he says something about their latest conflict, how she's disagreeing with him just to with him. seeing him so mad at being vulnerable, she knows exactly how he feels. she knows how he feels but she'll never directly tell him that because that would be admitting that she was attached, and that would make her vulnerable, which would make her mad like he is now.
they both think they have an ability better than others, that they have the given privilege of being detached from their emotions and that somehow makes them infallible. she laughs at the bitter irony of it all and takes a swig of soju.
"more like 'who has the more overbearing god complex', huh junwi?"
he gives her a withering look before shaking his head and bringing his bottle to his lips.
"shut up, binna."
KEAGAN OH she wonders how the world can be so bright when he's around. don't misunderstand, he's cute but also young and something about him makes binna want to protect him. maybe it's because they're both american, maybe it's because they're both fond of string instruments, maybe it's because everyone picks on him relentlessly. because he's young, his percieved and ideal selves are not yet actualized and so they shouldn't pick on him.
binna watches over him. whenever someone teases him for his korean or for being so westernized, she rolls up her sleeves and gets ready to throw hands. she lifts him up when others bring him down, and is proud of literally everything he does. she translates difficult korean for him, and gives him little lessons whenever she can. and, of course, she encourages underaged keagan to drink with her which always ends up with him babysitting her because she drinks too much and dances too much and clings to him too much.
JUNG NALA it starts with nala holding her phone screen up to binna's face, forcing her to read whatever she had to say. binna nods, goes along with it. she doesn't know about the incident until much later. binna is fond of her, she's cute and warm like a fresh baked pastry. jung nala is definitely someone binna must protect. binna coos over how pretty nala is, playing with her hair or toying with her fingers.
she wants to make nala laugh, she wants to make nala smile. binna always patiently awaits nala's messages, and carries them on to the others when relevant. she dresses nala up all the time, painting makeup onto her pretty face and admiring her work.
"I'M A LITTLE BIT HYPOCRITICAL IN THE SENSE THAT I DON'T WANT OTHERS TO PUT THEMSELVES IN HARM'S WAY WHILE I ACTIVELY SEEK IT OUT MYSELF. I GUESS I JUST CARE MORE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM THAN TO MYSELF."
binna watches over him. whenever someone teases him for his korean or for being so westernized, she rolls up her sleeves and gets ready to throw hands. she lifts him up when others bring him down, and is proud of literally everything he does. she translates difficult korean for him, and gives him little lessons whenever she can. and, of course, she encourages underaged keagan to drink with her which always ends up with him babysitting her because she drinks too much and dances too much and clings to him too much.
JUNG NALA it starts with nala holding her phone screen up to binna's face, forcing her to read whatever she had to say. binna nods, goes along with it. she doesn't know about the incident until much later. binna is fond of her, she's cute and warm like a fresh baked pastry. jung nala is definitely someone binna must protect. binna coos over how pretty nala is, playing with her hair or toying with her fingers.
she wants to make nala laugh, she wants to make nala smile. binna always patiently awaits nala's messages, and carries them on to the others when relevant. she dresses nala up all the time, painting makeup onto her pretty face and admiring her work.
"I'M A LITTLE BIT HYPOCRITICAL IN THE SENSE THAT I DON'T WANT OTHERS TO PUT THEMSELVES IN HARM'S WAY WHILE I ACTIVELY SEEK IT OUT MYSELF. I GUESS I JUST CARE MORE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM THAN TO MYSELF."
LOVE EXPERIENCE.
binna dates around a lot, she always has. but none of her romances have lasted very long for one of four reasons : they get jealous of her overly-affectionate ways, they get fed up with her being so detached and distant, she feels like they're pressuring her into moving too fast, or because they get into one small fight and binna decides to break up with them right then and there. she wants a love that's more like a best friendship, one without grand romantic gestures and with small, meaningful ones instead.
binna realizes that she does only date around so much to try and fill the void eliot kim left in her heart, and that no one can ever live up to him. around the anniversary of his death, she gets around a lot more, wih just about anybody she can because it keeps her mind from drifting to him.
"I KNOW I'M NOT PRETTY AND THERE'S NO ONE WHO WILL REALLY LOVE ME, BUT I WANNA BE LOVED."
LOVE INTEREST.
SHUT UP AND GROOVE BY HEIZE
know that love songs are a red card,
don't even talk.
this city is too sentimental.
whatever, let's just run away.
"AND MAYBE, KO JUNWI, THE ONE TO DO IT'LL BE YOU."
she believes that everyone is brought together for a reason, and she especially believes that when she looks at junwi. she isn't exactly sure what they're supposed to be, but she knows that he was destined to be in her life. they dance side by side down this path, down ngsy's path. they're pressed closely together and from her spot against his shoulder she looks up at his face. and goodness, does he look handsome.
and with their bodies pressed so closely together, she can feel his warmth. she can feel a fluttering. she can feel. against his chest, he keeps her close to the hearth of feelings. her fingers travel up to his shirt, feeling the fabric against her tips. their minds connect. she has the ideas and he has the execution. it makes her feel fulfilled, having someone who gets her in such a way.
she's drinking alone, long after the others have gone to sleep. her bass sits on her lap, the curves resting on her slim thighs. a notebook rests in front of her, and she leans forward after strumming a few chords and scribbling it down. drink, strum, scribble, repeat. junwi comes in with a plastic bag.
"i figured you'd be up." he says, taking off his shoes and closing the door behind him. she watches him, chin buried in her arm as she cranes her body to look over the couch.
"came all this way just to see me, huh?"
he smiles, but it's only brief. he approaches the couch, her eyes glued to his figure the whole time. he sits down beside her and pulls out about half a dozen cans of beer and a small pile of samgak-kimpab. she sets her bass to the side, reaching for some kimbap. she pulls her bare legs up to her chest, slim toes wriggling in joy as she takes a bite.
they sit and talk and eat and drink. she tells him about the song she's writing. she strums it for him on her bass, and she looks pretty. throughout the whole night, she inches closer to him and he doesn't move away. she gets so drunk she forgot her original task of writing, and so she lays on his lap instead. his hand comes down upon her head slowly, cautiously, as if he's wondering if he should dare. he does, and she falls asleep like that.
ko junwi is no stranger to the love lines of binna baudry de lozières. half the time she's out on dates, and the other half she's working. his brows furrow as he looks at the time on his watch, she's late. they weren't having a date or anything, they just met up occasionally to talk about the group and songs. either way, she was late. she walks in after another half hour, just after junwi has sent his third text to her. she sits across from him, sliding into the booth.
"sorry," she breathes, "i broke up with jihoon. it got a little messy."
"you know binna, keep breaking up with people like you do, and we'll end up with a bunch of scorned devils on our asses."
"well then, you'll just have to defeat all my evil exes." she grins, but he's not smiling. in fact, he looks rather sour.
"i mean it, binna. don't date people if you're just going to break up with them."
"you'd rather have me stay in a stifling relationship just to preserve the other person's feelings?"
he sighs, "that's not what i'm saying. look, you're young and pretty—"
"all the more reason to date around."
his look is equal parts withering and choleric. "what will the fans say?"
"who cares?"
"i care. stop dating so flippantly."
she scoffs, leaning back in the booth seat, eyes rolling. "what, you're trying to enforce a dating ban on me?"
"no—"
"what makes you think i'll follow that? you think i won't go behind your back and date secretly? fine, i'll take pleasure in the thrill—"
"why are you like this?"
"the same reason you're like that, presumably."
"what are you trying to compensate for? what hole are you trying to fill by dating all these people?"
"um, obviously i'm trying to fill all my holes!" she slams her hands onto the table, standing up and growing louder with each word. "i'm a who loves to get her holes filled, ko. jun. wi! i, mélitte bi—"
he darts up, covering with his hand and pulling her back down into the seat. people are staring at them, whispering. he gets up and boy, if looks could kill. she gets up and trails closely behind him as if she hadn't just publicly humiliated him. he doesn't speak to her, and she walks beside him in silence for a while.
she approaches him hours later, when they're pulling a long night at the studio getting everyone's parts recorded for their songs. binna and junwi watch isang playing his drums from the other side of the looking glass. she sits with her legs pulled up to her chest, not once looking at junwi.
"have i really never told you about eliot?"
he understands her a little bit more. she knows it's a risky game she's playing because the more she lets junwi in, the more frightened she gets that he'll leave. that's how she is with everyone, but with him, the anxiety is much more crippling. he already knows so much, he can't leave.
it's just them now. she wants to feel his warmth, to feel assurance that ko junwi's actually real and not something her depraived mind imagined up. she curls up under his arm and looks up at him as he shifts, "don't move." she tells him. he complies, silently.
she rests her head on the space between his shoulder and pec, legs folded neatly to her side. her ear rests near his heart, and she can hear it beating. he's real, he's alive. she's real, she's alive. her fingers dance along the fabric of his shirt. "hey, junwi?"
"hm?" nothing is said, but the sound is much gentler than it usually is.
"you're my person."
"your person?"
"yeah, my person."
maybe they aren't meant to fall in love. or maybe they already have. all she does know is that junwi is one of the people closest to her, closest to every part of her. her past, her bass, her emotions, her percieved self, and her actual self.
"OR MAYBE YOU WON'T."
also open for other love interests!!
SUGGESTIONS. the black skirts, hyukoh, moonlight dancing by fromm, sand by flask, astronomy by astronauts, ticket to the moon by the solutions. kiha & the faces.
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