1st.

They were in the backseat, her sister driving and her mom upfront. Her dad and of one their friends in the second row. He had his backpack on his lap, covering the small, if not non-existent, gap between them. His arm was around her waist but nobody could see a thing, nobody would have even suspected. Why would they? The two of them were an unlikely pair. Especially when her parents had all their hopes on her. They believed that she had 'a good eye for men'. They wanted her to study in a good school, meet a smart or well-off boy, lead a comfortable life. But he wasn't like that. He was from a humble family, plain education, average paying job, just nothing that her parents wanted. But... she wanted him.

In that moment, all she focused on was him. It didn't matter if he didn't meet their expectations or requirements. She liked him as he is. Quiet and shy but sweet with a sense of humor that she found adorable. Yeah, he's older than her. Yeah, he isn't very well-off. Yeah, he isn't what her family wants. But for now, she just wanted to follow the flow.

2nd.

As always, they met at church. Their actions limited because of the many eyes present. Her family, their friends, plain acquaintances in their small church community. But it was enough. At least they could meet, talk, smile, laugh and spend some time together.

8th.

Saturday, they'd meet almost every Saturday for practice. But that week they had a special event ; Strings Quartet Concert. They shared some laughs and smiles as usual but something felt off. What was it?

9th.

Another Sunday.. But what is this distance between them? They barely met eyes. A shake of the hand and then goodbye. But there was still that night. She hoped things would be different but they really weren't. He barely looked her way and she felt her heart ache. Biting her lip she approached where he was, but when he saw her, he moved further away. Her gaze fell, she grabbed a cup of water and moved back to sit down. She got home and fell asleep with a heavy heart.

10th.

Throughout the day she'd think of him. About what happened. Was it something she did? Something she said? What is it?

11th.

'Maybe I'm just overthinking' or 'Could be too many people watching?'. More and more thoughts run through her mind. If she could, she wanted to rewind.

12th.

Her heart was heavy and each day seemed like an extra weight. The weekend where she'd see him felt like ages away. But she couldn't decipher if she wanted or not, to meet with him that weekend in fear it'd break her heart. What if she was right, that the feelings had faded? Could they leave so quick? Did she overestimate it?

She fell asleep that night with a heavy heart but her dream was so sweet, it tore her mind apart.

13th.

She wakes up with mixed feelings, is this good or bad? She dreamt that he was with her, at the table over dinner. They'd play with each others' fingers, laugh and smile. But because it was a dream, it only lasted a while. When she thought about it over and over again, she wished those bad feelings would end. But she knew they'd only either worsen or be resolved over the next weekend.

If she could choose, she would have never even let her feelings grow. She even told herself that it was temporary and to brush it off. But even if it were temporary, it's her present. In this present time she just couldn't brush it off and even at the thought of it being temporary, it hurt...

It hurts.