How liberating it must feel to be able to talk freely and openly with people. How effortless it must be to find a group of new faces rewards instead of intimidating.

Throughout high school, I struggled with my introverted tendencies. I had to make myself do certain things to meet and maintain friends. I'm awkward in nature with those I don't know. I've been this way since elementary school. If it's not a one on one conversation or a topic I am passionate about, it's hard for me to keep up a conversation. I get nervous, so nervous I feel like crying.

Why can't I be outgoing? Why can't I be fun-loving from the beginning? It takes me weeks, sometimes even months to warm up to people. Those extroverts I envy so much ask me why? Why are you so quiet? People not remembering me, or knowing my name. People trying to make it seem like I am the only one in the world who is quiet. What's my problem? I get the same spill from everyone, even those who don't know me.

I have a lot of things to say. I'm a writer for heaven's sake. I can talk all day to my friends/family and I can surely talk non-stop about Kpop.

What inspired this thought? I've lived with this "condition" ( as some make it out to be) for life, it seems. I was born with it. I've come a hell of a long way. I'm not as awkward as I used to be, but I still have my old habits. The point I want to stress is that me starting college has definitely reverted my progress. I'm a part of this program involving 20 other girls. I have been dubbed as one of the "quiet ones," as usual. The label actually encourages my reserved attitude. I don't really talk to them and when I do, it's nothing remarkable. Now I realize that I have only been on campus for 3 full days and this group is less than 1% of the total population of my school. It hurts seeing everyone talking freely and I'm standing there silent. This brings me back to my quiet years in 9th and 10th grade. Will it take me 2 years again to break out of my shell?

This blog is everywhere in all honesty. It has no solid structure, just one main topic. However those share the same problems as me will understand exactly what I'm feelings.

As a message to myself and my fellow introverts, you do not have a condition. There is nothing wrong with you. If it takes you a while to make friends, don't blame yourself. We are all different. We are all great in our own way.