My life isn’t all bad. Currently, my life isn’t bad at all. I’m healthy. I’m capable. I’m doing well in school. I few weeks ago I made a post about my straight A mentality where I talked about my struggle with getting perfect grades. I’m doing better with that. I ended up thinking it over and talking about it to my mom. I basically told her that I’m going to do the best I can and be happy with that because it’s not good for me mentally to worry about it. I got a B+ on my exam (I was 1 question away from an A) and for the first time in my life, it didn’t consume me. I moved on. I’m also not failing my really hard class and I accepted the fact that I will be happy with whatever grade I get. I will also we happy with whatever GPA I get this semester.  I’m still stressed as many college students are but I haven’t obsessed over my grades lately. I think I have it partically under control. 

I joined a club at my college. A Korean drumming club.  I stuck with it all semester. I think that deserves a pat on the back, especially for an introvert. I even made a few friends. Well, 1 friend and a few acquaintances. But I had something to do on the weekends and with my best friends MIA it was nice to have something to be responsible for. Going to club definitely helped with the loneliness even if I wasn’t close with everyone. I think for me, cliques don’t work. I make friends on an individual basis and that’s ok. 

In my last post, I talked about how I don’t have a lot of friends. But I’m grateful that I even have a few friends. I’m someone who can very easily have zero friends at all so I’m glad that I have a few and that I’m not completely alone even when I feel like I am. 

 I did well these past few months. I have to give myself credit. I had a tough academic year because I changed my major. Even with little sleep, stress, and school work I carried on. Even with my friends abandoning me, I carried on. I stepped out of my comfort zone to meet new people in the club I joined. I think I finally healed from Jonghyun’s passing. Or at least I’m able to listen to Shinee music without feeling utterly sad.

I also started working on my application to study abroad in France for next year. The app isn’t due until September, but I started working on the essay parts. The program is a near perfect opportunity for me and I’m so excited that I get to do such a great thing. I’ve never been outside of North America so this is big for me. I’m nervous because January is closer than you would think, but I’m excited about it. 

I am resilient. I cry but I get back up. I think that deserves acknowledgement. There are many positives in my life and I wanted to celebrate them and remind myself that no matter what happens I’m going to be fine.