wow...

maybe this could be my latest fic idea...

wait...didn't i just started a fic recently....again?

haha...

just an idea...an inspiration...since i'm feeling happy tonight...

wait...didn't i say greatest inspiration comes from unhappiness?

scratch that.

inspiration...is just inspiration.

it comes when it comes.

it doesn't come, when it doesn't come.

lately...i'm so into this annoying produce 101 show...lol.

i guess...i've always been attracted to things i find annoying...

except songs....

this idea...inspiration....gives me chills....not really as fanfic idea...

but as life idea...that usually i like to translate into fics...cuz i'm boring like that.

the background.

when i watch the perfs...

i see people raving about the girls.

either the popular ones, or the ones with all the high notes and all...

and i suddenly feel like choking up...

thinking of the background members...

who didn't get to show all their worth....

but still sing their hearts out...

never appreciated...

bcuz people are too busy praising the one in spotlight...

as if that person carried the whole thing...

and even if they do...as if other girls in the background would've liked it to go that way...

a perf they contributed in...but hardly get any recognition n appreciation...

why do i feel the pain?

i don't think it's cuz i've been in this position...no..i never did anyway, n not everyone can only feel something when they go through it themselves...don't judge me by your own standard like you always do...i'm sick of that.

continue...

never appreciated...

yet...they did their best....

only to shine the light for the main one to get all the reflection of that light...the love...attention...appreciation...acknowledgment...

while they merely accessorized the perf...

you know...

something like backing/backup vocals...

only that...backup vocals already know their 'place'....while these singers...they're seemingly are 'not' backup vocals, not by name...but they are...ok...only get a few more lines here n there to make the difference wider...

but do they get any appreciation for what they are?

no?

they're just the background of the star...

even worse...when it's a competition....who wants to lose?

imagine the feeling...knowing in your hearts that you can probly do better....yet...you're not the main...so you'll just provide what's needed of you...

wow...this feeling...

heartbreaking...beautiful kind of pain...

if i'm gonna write this...i need to use the produce 101 girls since they inspired this feel...

but then again...do i even have time?

and i haven't spotted enough girls or watch the show....honestly...i don't think i should do that.

i just like watching perfs...singing...that's the only time a singer needs to shine to me...

tbh...i'm deeply inspired after watching this perf...

so...the comments everywhere was like...

Kang Sira this Kang Sira that...

i understand that people gave extra attention since she ranked last and she sang this good...(which i'm pretty damn sure her rank would so jump higher)

or is it cuz she did high notes?

those damn high notes...

the thing that made every other singer called 'good'....

how many high notes can a song has?

if high notes is such a cool indicator of one's worth...don't you think other girls would want it too?

same goes with all other teams...

who wouldn't want to shine?

are you blind? are you deaf?

can't you see? hear? 

there are other four girls....singing just as beautiful...they get so much lesser parts...they don't get high notes....(n i just noitced one of them were in second last place, but of course, ppl only bothered for the last place)

but they did their best with the little they have...

in my eyes...they shine...they shine so bright i'm blinded....

to be very honest...

i can hardly remember kang sira in this perf...even though she sang a whole lot of part plus THE ALMIGHTY HIGHNOTES.

she's a good singer. but others are, too.

the background. they touched me...so much more.

the background shined so bright...so so bright.

maybe, this is also one unconscious reason i hardly ever liked any main vocals in groups i like...maybe...i just happen to see the overlooked worth of the backgrounds...and fell for them instead of the ones with the huge chunks of vocal challenging parts that'd naturally impress...

not all backgrounds automatically mean they're lesser

you see, not everyone can be in the foreground, the spotlight...

well...i'm surprised i'm even trying to explain this...

anyway...i think i've gotten interested in some...more...haha...without even watching any parts of the show than perfs!! so no evil or biased editing for me!! (though sadly i'm very aware of who's popular n who's getting this n that editing preference n against...aaah...)

so...there's Hwang In Sun

 

and then there's...

Sung Hye Min

 

judging from their perfs with the girlgroup debut song mission....i'm so glad they got into this team and showed off their vocals...maybe i'm invested from their looks...or i just feel like the other two girls would be fine with getting more attention since they have quite solid parts in here. i like Insun since she doesn't look like typical standard of 'prettyyyyy girl' n i like her expression n singing too...and i like Hyemin cuz her perf-expression, the way she sings made me feel...there's like some sort of genuineness...both probly got to show their vocals the least in the group...but they still shined to me. n this girl had no company...more power to her. n i love that they don't seem so young like many girls in there...yes, i love me old ladies...after checking out their profiles...i just realized both are the 2nd oldest in the competition...only 1 girl who's older than them by a year....n both are same age....

so far...i've watched all the vocals team...(not interested in rap n dance sadly...)...and i'm mostly still invested in this My Best team...

 

i think the second i'd say rocks the vocal...would be this team...

maybe i'm just not feeling it much since seeing the name Zion.T makes me think oh...trendy stuff...ok. (and there's one girl from the team i don't like cuz she keep sounding like she's trying to shout than sing n killed my focus...it just...annoys my ears...n relax...not your top#1 girl...put down those daggers n swords thank you)

of course i won't say anything on Sejung cuz...heaven forbids if anyone say anything remotely negative or just....uhh..not chockful puking praises...cuz that means you be a jelly evil hater...her fans probly scare me more than Somi fans...lol. both aren't my taste since...uhm...too popular/perfect/too many damn annoying fans? and another popular one...Choi Yoo Jung? idk her...but i tried her perfs...and....i just....don't get it?...how is she superior so much than the rest? maybe i just don't see it. eh....let's not forget all the hypes on all those pledis girls, jellyfish n what else? (i saw a weird comment saying 'those pledis girls are so underrated'....and lucky me i wasn't drinking or eating or i might have died choking...)

 

lol...how immatured of me...huh? to not like just cuz...popular?

what? bcuz i don't like those everyone like?

but i believe perfection can get tiring...but non perfection can only make the beauty increases or changes...and how exciting that is...rather than perfection...perfection can't get anymore perfect...but imperfection can....;)

i think Kim Sejung did good...but i won't say any better than Kang Sira...probly same level...they sing good n have feels but then again...they're singing emotional songs...Yoo Yeonjung...that high note girl from another team...i feel slacking behind them since i hardly get any feeling from her...in fact...i get more from her weaker singer-teammates...hmm...she had the highnotes alrite...but that's that.

now...let's see...

Oh Seojung

^ read that she got bad reputation for some not-nice things she did on the show...but well..she sounds beautiful...when i first watch the perf..i thought she's like the lead vocals or something of the group...

and...

Yoon Chae Kyung

yeah..the dsp girl as i've talked about the other day...she tries really hard to fit in but she does seem lack confidence in her singing...she sounds beautiful...but is the most underutilized in the team...and i want to puke seeing comment even crediting her good singing to Sejung? so girl makes the whole world go round now? 

i'm so done.

international fans are more annoying than kfans...they only like popular ones...they never think twice of ratting out on unpopular ones whether with valid reason or not...but they're extremely protective n giving more credits than rational to popular ones....i'm just.....

just.....blah!

 

as for big bang Monster team....no...nobody caught my attention...they're one of the weaker team in terms of vocal perf i guess...but probly cuz the song/vocal arrangement doesn't require much vocal anyway...

no fav from Exo call me baby team too...

i don't like much from Girlfriend team too....i don't get uhm....great/fitting vibes from them...especially...not from the girl everyone keep praising...(not the center girl...but you popularity worshipper would know better who)...i feel that only Han Hyeri fitting the innocence n fit the concept so damn well. shame she wasn't the center.

speaking of center...

as for my fav-though-not perfect team...

i just noticed...

out of all the vocal perf centers...

this team is probly the only one where the non-center did all the high notes....and the center hardly did any...except if you count the one harmonized/sung together by everyone...

what a shame...every other centers shined in their stages...

but for this team...Kim Juna's the center...and yet Yoo Yeonjung got all the praises n attention for her high notes...

but hey...Juna didn't even need a screaming to get the fangirls screaming for her....

just...bummer...can't Juna at least get one screaming part? if i didn't see it stated on the song lyrics n names on the video...i wouldn't know she's the center...

and i can't believe many people defending highnote chick as 'she's young so she's immatured n do stupid things' while Juna is old so she's matured...like....uhm...then explain how come i'm way more matured when i was below 10 years old than i am now?

since when can age defines maturity? /facepalm/

try better, fangirls. try better.

unnir don't mean it.

and let's try not to blame every single thing your biases did wrong as mnet evil editing...well, that's easy one. let's all board on that train, huh?

 

and then...new clips of unaired part showed up and....

Why Kang Sihyun? why? T^T...i was hoping to get more of her beautiful strong voice singing T^T...i read that cuz she ranked low...so the topper dogs have gotten all the vocal parts since they get to choose first...ugh....yuck...but this is how the damned world works.

rapping is not for her...other rapping girls oozing with 'hey i'm so badass....blabla'...vibe...she's just....not confident enough....(random but when i watched Han Hyeri's team n there's this one girl looking like Song Hyegyo nodding along when Hyeri sang...so it's Sihyun...lol....i guess it's the angle n styling...?)

somehow i feel she's gonna leave the show this round of elimination...probly with one or both dsp girls... :(

Han Hyeri's gonna make it...i'ma flip tables if she doesn't...even if she's not my fav...but can't deny she made such an impact on her team's perf that it's ridiculous if she's out...

somehow i feel that she won't....

and speaking of rap...

Hwang Sooyeon.

Cuz she's gotten into my radar eversince clip of her goofy reaction was shown when Juna was singing...xD..it made me went back to trace (that's really her, right?)....sadly...i didn't manage to find the girl screaming fangirly? anyone knows which girl that one is?

anyway....

oh Kim Juna...

am i the rare species special snowflake who actually like her clothing/style here? i keep seeing people saying they don't like her dressing makes her look old blabla...i think it made her stand out in a good way....she's rockin that outfit...

i'm just sad that there seem like some movement trying to get her out from being competitor...by keep spreading she should debut solo...she wants to go solo not in group(umm...how did you know? cuz she 'fits solo better'?)...yeah i can see how much she's a threat that ppl are spreading those stuffs pretending to like her n all...if you like her you'd actually support her....instead of all playing psychics....no?

oh...speaking of....

i think...i'm going to change one of my new fic characters from Kim Jungmin (Storm) to Kim Juna...hahaha....i'm biased like that n i go through phases...i'm no loyal fangirl..shame on me...

i'm sorry jungminnie...i still love you lots....(you shoulda have joined produce 101 tbh...i waited for you to come back cuz i trust that singing is your calling but i guess......T^T)

i love Jungmin cuz she's always so cool n she doesn't have standard beauty...kinda tomboyish...n sings well(she's one of the rare main vocalists that got into my fav list)

but i guess...Kim Juna has the singing talent as well as awkwardness, n uncertainty/need for acceptance that can create fragility of mind that would fit my intended character more...haha, what an excuse....

as for Kevin...i'm still unsure whether i'll retain him...maybe i will....since he has superior singing talent which is what the character need...

 

btw...

if i do end up writing this...'background' story....

who would you suggest to be my main character from produce 101? any suggestion?

just please make sure it's someone i like n not those i dislike...maybe you can make reference from this post or this. actually...i'm willing to consider other girls too as long as they're underdogs n not some popular boring ones...

main character isn't necessarily the central of the story...i don't do those stuffs...but usually...my main character would be....the voice of the story....the one telling the story...the one whose feels we get a sneak peek of...

 

okay guyz...time to sleep....sleeeppp