'take that trashbag out.'

'okay', you simply answered and took out the trash bag, dumped them out with a sweet smile on your loathsome face.

so, after the years of our sickeningly sweet bickering friendship as housemates...one day, i simply told you i wanted to move out, i'm sick of everything.

you never asked what i'm sick of, you never ask if i'm hurt of anything...

you simply asked...'but what about me?'

that told me everything i needed to know. should have known.

i simply told you, you could just take a new housemate.

and afterwards you said nothing more.

you didn't even try to stop me.

you didn't give me any reason to stay, not even one.

i made the right decision.

it's better to be hurt now, than getting deeper, and getting hurt then.

meaningless friendship. other than filling your void.

we're never much of a thing i call friend.

i just happen to have appeared in your life that needed excitement. needed somebody.

i just happen to be that passerby who stopped by rather than simply keep walking by.

and thus, it's time for me to continue my journey, because a meaningless friendship is not something worth of me spending my time and future heartache over.

we always fought and bickered about who should take out the trashbag.

it's not about power play.

it's our way of showing affections, our way of communicating, our way of friendship.

neither of us would ever give in.

both of us wanted to have that last word.

that victory.

we'd laugh at how silly our fights were, but we wouldn't stop fighting.

i didn't remember how our arguments would end, probably either one of us would end up throwing it and then giving more insult on having done the deed.

the bickering never end, even after the trash would be disposed.

but now, 

one order.

order accepted.

'i'm surprised you're not asking me to throw it, those trash were from my room.'

'of course i have to throw it, you're moving out afterall.'

understood.

not even one try.

not even one fight.

not one.

that's how much i worth.

how much our friendship worth.

i watched blankly, as you threw away the trashbag.

the trashbag containing all memories of us.

-end-

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just a short fictional piece. sorry...i wanted to write a random angsty story but wasn't in the mood to start a new fic since i just wanna write a short piece without thinking of any character n without worrying grammar or capital letters or whatnot....i don't have any housemate-friend though so no, it's not literally my story lol...but if you know me well enough...maybe you'll know if it can be related to my life or not...

sorry if it's not worthy to even be called a story...maybe that's why it went to blog section...haha...

 

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anyway....i'm a little sad for many reasons rite now...but am i not always feeling sad?

(please give me no pity...sadness is an essential part in emotion...i need no pity for a feeling that has been ingrained in me and a feeling that everyone has....pity would be an insult instead...so please don't...)

if i'm happy...i probly won't have any inspiration for anything...so i should be thankful for even this.

ahh...so my mom was right....she told me that the greatest inspiration come from suffering heart/tortured soul....i never thought much of it...i thought anything could be inspiration...and it could come from anywhere...i still think that's true to an extent...but most time...it's when i'm not feeling exactly happy that my senses become sharper n inspiration just come way easier without even having to think...

hmm...

 

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anyway...

omg!!! MR-NOT-HUMAN posted a new cover!!!

i can't believe i used to dislike him for his voice that i find just the typical main vocal type(which, he was the main vocalist of his idolgroup anyway)...

and now i'm in love with him(i mean....him as a singer...umm....his voice...) cuz of his voice...

how the heck is that even possible??!!!

it's not is it?

if you know all my fav voices in kpop....you'll know his voice is just...not much of my type, typically.

but now that i think of it again...maybe it kinda is?

or maybe my taste just evolve...?

maybe it's not his voice...but his singing...the way he sings that is the magic. ugh.

i've always hated how much i loved his pronunciation/enunciation/whatever-ation and the way he sings. yknow..the way he says each words when singing...n the tone/stressing/etc....

i still don't like most main vocals type of voice though...

i mean....there's a reason i don't like dongjun n hyungsik so much in ZE:A...or youngsaeng in SS501...or chris n taehwa n Battle...or hyesung in Shinhwa....or hyunyoung n jisook in Rainbow....or seungyeon in KARA...or kyungri n hyemi in Nine Muses....even for jungmin who's my fav member in Storm n a main vocalist...i liked her not for her voice though she is a decent singer but cuz i think she's cool n not a typical generic standardized beauty, it's always about the voice...

but now the voice i hated becomes the voice i love...his singing gives me goosebumps...lmao.

not other points that changed my opinion...but the same...his voice...

and it's not like back then he's a bad singer either...he's always been amazing...

maybe i like his not-human-ness voice...

(come to think of it...his voice kinda has similar sharpness with ZE:A's Siwan...only that, he's so much better technically n smoother with his vocal control while Siwan is more on the raw side but still similar sharpness...and i actually made them brothers in a fic...omg...that was not intentional...i mean the vocal colour similarity...)

it's all his fault...

like...who even allowed him to sound so beautiful...so perfect...so...ugh...

i feel like i can listen to this perfection all day long...just...his voice...singing...><

aaaahh...

i must've gone crazy.

whatever...

why am i telling all this in blog...

so embarrassing.

i guess...being able to show my embarrassing side...makes me happy too...

a weakness is no longer a weakness when you make/treat it as a strength...i guess.