Yes Garrin and I broke up. I mean I was writing so much about him anyways. Like all the sad times I had and that one time about the dream and I felt so guilty. He broke up with me. He did the hurting. He said he lost feelings for me and the blog where I told him about the dream made him realize it. I mean he lost the deep feelings for me already he just needed the realization. Many people are telling me he cheated on me with some girl named Lauren. I was jealous of her like in the beginning of the relationship. I mean yeah they are really close friends. That was just mostly freshmen year of high school. Then I stopped being jealous of her. Then along came sophmore year. I got so jealous again like what this tryna do with my man. They were snap chatting so much to each other. I wanted to hang out with him a lot more in the school year because I had work in the summer and I couldn't hang out with him as much. I wanted to make up for the time. But I guess he got used to me not hanging around him.

So on Tuesday December 8, 2015 he came to my house at around 5:50 PM and told me to go out to have a talk. I knew what was going on already. He was going to do it, he was going to shatter it. I saw it coming, gave me all the hints I needed. He told me he lost feelings and he was annoyed by when I kept whinning about everything. He lost those deep love feelings for me. I guess he still likes me as a friend. I cried for 2 days straight. I couldn't stop. It was so heart breaking. I never thought to experience this. Every where I went reminded me of him. On the third day I finally stop crying and had myself be myself again. I told people and I guess they weren't expecting it. I was fine until Friday December 11, 2015. Alex messages me about why Garrin broke up with me. He told me it had to do with Lauren and had proof too. When I saw that, I immediately shattered more. I had my heart broken more. I couldn't think, but it was all making sense to me now. So to get it out of the way I asked to talked to him before his guitar class. He met me an hour before. I told him about and he said it wasn't true. I guess I still really trust him and couldn't tell he was lying because I was so love blinded.So that only took like maybe 15 minutes. So we basically talked about the past for like 45 minutes,

Monday December 14, 2015 after school Kat told me that she and Gabby needed to tell him something, so I went over to her house. Kat tells me the same thing about Lauren. She told me that he offically cheated on me when we were still dating. On the day of the school bowling championship I went to sushi with my sister and Lauren went to hang out with Garrin before she had to go for the championship. Lauren told Kat that Garrin was groping her and stuff like that. I literally fliped and my heart broke even more. Then Gabby tells me that Lauren goes around telling people about us breaking up. It was never her business to tell people about it. She also told Gabby about the reactions of everyone. She told me Lauren talked about my sister, crystal, and pat saying that they were expecting it. Like no. You dont know any of them you dont know . And I didn't tell pat yet until sunday so she has no ing right to say . 

Wednesday December 16, 2015 going to my 6th period class. I pull Lauren to the side saying:

Me: Lauren people are telling me that you are the one telling people me and Garrin broke up. Like I'm just asking if it was true or not

Lauren: No Lila, dont believe them. I would never do anything to hurt your little heart.

Well guess what you're the one who did. I was going to do it Tuesday but she wasn't here. So I wasn't as angry, I said it nicely. She was totally bulling. She thinks she can lie when everyone telling me it's true. And it is true because everyone's story match up and the people that told me dont really know each other. So it has got to be you bulling.

Thursday December 17, 2015 I tell Alex about what I told her and what she reacted when I confronted her. And Jerry shows up. I ask him because he is friends with Joe and Lauren tells Joe everything. Lauren told Jerry not to spread and told hime if he did she will go beat his . I was like see she's just scared. She started this drama not me.

I have just lost it. I don't even know why I've been dreaming of him lately. So I did feel depressed yesterday. I am going to take Garrin's word for it. I dont have proof to prove that what everyone said was 100% true. Yeah their stories match up but there is no proof. Lauren can start and I dont care, because you know why. I don't have anything to do with it. Lauren is the one coming after my man in the first place. Garrin could've broke up with me sooner if he was so fed up with my whining and etc but why now. This is what go me. He started to cry and I hugged when he broke up with me. And when he broke it he said "I almost said I love you out of habit". So all those times you said I love you, you didn't mean any of it. When did it become and habit. I always said it and meant it. Well I guess that your love for me was never really true and you just got use to the way of saying and doing things.

Here's a quote that just understands me: