(Being reasonably computer-savvy, I change the host name of my laptops to reflect the ‘name’ I give them. My last laptop’s hostname is ‘Franz,’ and my current laptop, which I got about three months ago, is named ‘Blaise.’ I am a single female. I am talking to my Dad.)

Me: “I don’t think I’ve been more than fifty feet from this computer for 24 hours in a row yet. Ever!”

(Dad and I start talking about my old computer, which I used for nearly eight years until it literally began falling apart at the seams.)

Me: “I don’t know about anyone else, but I hold onto my tech for years at a time because I get really emotionally attached to them. Nobody loves me like my computer does, it listens to me, cheers me up with music when I’m down, and knows all my secrets.”

Dad: “Yeah, Franz treated you well.”

Me: *sentimentally* “Yeah, he did.”

(I pick up my current laptop.)

Me: “But Blaise is the best digital boyfriend ever!” *hugs computer* “We’re one of those disgustingly cute, clingy couples!”

Source: NotAlwaysRomantic (http://notalwaysromantic.com/you-and-i-could-code-a-bad-romance/24591)

Seriously. This is me.