I just read your blog post, and I know that comments are limited to 2000 characters and messages are limited to 1200 characters.  I had to reply, but I have a feeling that it might be quite lengthy in response, so I figured I'd post this as a blog, if you don't mind.

I know how it feels to have so many "flaws".  God knows I see enough in myself.  I'm actually a complete and utter bastard when it comes to speaking to myself.  But whatever flaws you have, there is always someone else that has flaws too.  None of us is perfect, not by a long shot.  Even the idols we revere are flawed, and severely so.  Being aware of your more serious flaws, however, is excellent.  Not because you can change them, because chances are you can't.  But you can control them.  When you feel yourself getting into one of your violent moods, try (and I won't pretend it is easy to do this, but please try) to look at the things that lead up to it.  What feelings do you have whilst you're getting angry?  The ones you get right at the beginning, the ones that bubble away before you turn into a big green She-Hulk.  It's good that you're aware you have these mood swings, but that's only a part of the battle.  You need to be more aware of what happens around it, and knowing how you get that angry is a great step in controlling it, because changing it is almost impossible.  If you can control the things at the start and try to divert that energy elsewhere, you might find you have less of those mood swings.

You're probably right that, over time, some people will avoid you and you will become estranged from people, but I am more scared that you will isolate yourself from people.  And I'm scared you will do it because I'm doing that same thing.  I'm not just turning people away, I'm actively avoiding people, and that's not healthy.  I'm shutting myself away from everyone.  I haven't even spoken to my father in two months because I just can't be bothered with people.  And I know that I can happily sit at work and speak to everyone there, but most of my conversations are about specific topics and not general conversations.  It's like I put on a mask and that gets me through the day, and I kind of really hate that part of me.  It's like I'm not a complete person.  And I don't want that to happen to you.  That doesn't mean you have to force yourself to be outgoing.  By all means, enjoy time with yourself.  That's perfectly fine.  Enjoy time on your own, in your room, or whatever.  But don't make it so that you spend all of your time alone.

I don't know any anger management techniques.  When I get angry, I lose all control of everything, but I am lucky that it takes so much to make me angry.  It's just, when I do, I make Taz from the Warner Brothers cartoons look like a sloth.  What I find, when I get frustrated, is I will just become really silent and hold it in until it is safe to let it out.  Most of the time, I forget what made me angry and become a little upset because anger usually leads to unhappiness, but if I am able to get somewhere "safe" (i.e. nobody is around me), I will shout and argue and vent to the air.  That way, nobody is hurt and I get to say everything I want to say.  Most of my frustrations come from things I didn't get to say, so being able to say everything I want to say is a big relief, even if you don't hear what I'm trying to say.

As for procrastinating and being lazy, welcome to my club.  I'm so good at procrastinating that I often procrastinate procrastinating.  Seriously, I am just that good.  But I know it can affect my work.  As of yet, I don't have ways to change that, but I'm working on it.  If I have a project to work on, I will set out a series of tasks that I need to have finished.  I will put on a computer game soundtrack on Spotify or YouTube.  Seriously, those things are awesome!  They are actually designed to make you concentrate and immerse you into the game.  They're not just beautiful pieces of music.  Take games such as Need for Speed.  You wouldn't be so eager to outrun the cops if you had Beethoven playing in the background.  It needs to be high energy, high octane, really angry music in order to get the adrenaline running in your body to do that.  So, maybe try using game soundtracks to get into your work or activities.  There are plenty of ones that I listen to, although I find I listen to the Majora's Mask OST more than any.

As for everything else, comparing yourself to others, feeling your weight isn't to the right "standard", comparing yourself to others, thinking you're not as attractive as others, seeing you have no talent, please don't.  Just stop.  I will tell you why.  You might not be as pretty as idols, but who is?  You don't have fantastic talents like idols, but who does?  You don't have that because you're not an idol!  You're you!  You have such a beautiful soul and I can tell that just from reading what you wrote in your blog post.  You have such a great heart because you care that your flaws might be hurting others or yourself and you don't like this person that you see.  But you don't see what I see.  You don't see what others see.  You can only see things from your own perspective, through your own eyes.  And people who are not you can always pick out something that you've missed because they look at you through their eyes and their own perspectives.  They can't see things the way you do.  Not even I can.  I can only think how I would react in that situation.  The thing is, if you don't eat because you have to be a certain weight, then your body won't know when it will get to eat next, so when you have your next meal it will store any unused energy as fat.  Which makes it easier to put on weight.  Which starts this whole cycle again.  When I was with my ex, she was a UK size 14. In my mind, she was perfect and I was really sad when she lost weight and became a UK size 10.  I got upset mostly because I thought she wanted to lose weight for me.  I had a bad obession with Jolin Tsai (Taiwanese pop star) before my ex and I started dating and she thought Jolin was my ideal type.  She was wrong, because she was my ideal type.  She just had a boyfriend when we were talking and was way out of my league.  I don't want a skinny girlfriend.  In fact, I would love a curvy girlfriend, because it means I have a lot more to cuddle and kiss and caress.  My reaction to someone's weight is this: If I can put my arms around you and my hands can touch each other without me stretching or struggling, then you're not overweight.  She told me that she still wanted to lose weight, but she wanted ot do it to become healthy.  She knew I loved her, and I loved only her, so she didn't need to lose weight to look like some idol who had probably has earned her weight by paying for an excellent surgeon.  Eating properly is much better for you than not eating.  Eating small portions regularly is better than skipping meals.

And who gives a if such-and-such a person can do something creative?  JK Rowling is a fantastic writer, and sometimes I wish I had her talents. But I still write stories.  I don't write them because "at least I can still write well" or "I will try harder to be a better writer".  I do it because I love it.  I do it because I enjoy it.  I do it because writing gives me a chance to escape into another world and pretend that everything will go right.  It's my chance to daydream about a perfect world and, at least on paper, make it real.  A world without wars.  Without troubles.  Where people who are cheated on can fall in love with the most perfect partner.  Where commanders can learn a lesson from an insightful cadet and not resent them or try to overrule them because "I'm in charge here".  I know you are insecure about so much and I'm not trying to say "You should think differently".  God knows I know it's impossible.  I've got a load of reasons for me to think differently and to think of myself as a decent person, and I only have one reason not to, but I keep focusing on that one thing.  Nothing else.  And it's not right.  I'm not saying to think differently, but try to understand why you think the way you do.  What causes it?  What is the path you go through to get from placid to angry in however many seconds?  How do you feel after getting angry?  When it comes to being wrong, at least one person every day will be able to say "You're wrong" because they know something different to you.  But that doesn't mean you are wrong, it means you now have the chance to learn something new.  Because nobody on this planet knows EVERYthing.  Not even scientists.  Not even Einstein.  There is so much that you don't know and sometimes, that second person can open your eyes to something new.  You are not wrong.  Sometimes, though, your knowledge might have a gap, but you can fix that!  You just need to learn this new thing.  So ... playing a game.  You and I can play a game with strategy and I might win.  That's not anything wrong with you, but that I saw something that could exploit your strategy, or I planned three moves ahead instead of two.  So, next time, try to find out how I won.  How did I beat you?  What are my weak points?  Where are my weaknesses?  What do I do wrong?  And then exploit them yourself.  It's a real skill to do that, and holy is that skill useful.  Do you think wars are waged just because they feel like it?  It's because one side can see a weakness and they strike at just the right time and they win.  That's how you need to be.  Like a cobra.  Wait, patiently, and then strike, quickly and painfully.  I will tell you now, victory tastes so much sweeter when you have someone saying "How the ing did you do that?"

I know you won't believe me, but I know you have so much good inside of you.  You have so much to give, and there is so much about you.  Please, don't compete at being better than someone else, because you are the best you I know, and nobody can take that away from you.  You will never be anyone else.  You might be able to do something better than someone else, but you can never actually BE that person.  I know it's hard, and I have no problems telling you this every day until it becomes second nature to you, but please ... try.  We are living in a time when the "ideal figure" is on the front of magazines, with bones sticking out of their chests.  And that makes me almost literally vomit.  Women aren't supposed to be sticks.  They're supposed to be humans.  With feelings, with needs, desires, dreams, hopes, fears ... and flaws.  Embrace them.  They are as much a part of you as your successes are.  Please, don't feel you need to compare yourself to someone else because you are not them and you will never be them.  And if you spend your time chasing this ideal, in a few years you won't feel like you're good enough then, so you'll chase another ideal.  And then you'll chase another and another and another, and you will never ever be happy, because you won't even know who you really are any more.  There is so much more to you than you think, and I hope one day someone can sit there in front of you and show you that you are actually the person you want to be and deserve to be.  Because, above all else, you deserve to be you.

And as I thought, I'm over 9,000 characters.  So I went on a little bit.  If you ever want to talk to someone, I will try to make time to listen to you.  Sometimes, I might be busy with work, or I might be sleeping because of time differences, but I will never not reply if you say "I need you" or "I need to talk to you", even if it isn't right away.  I can't promise I will say what you want ot hear either, but what I will say will have meaning and substance behind it.  I won't give you empty platitudes becuase it's "easier".  What I will say has logic and reason behind it, and I will mean every word of it.