My whole body was shaking, the cold slowly turning my fingers and toes numb. It was a horrible feeling. But the way my heart hurt was a worse feeling. I bit my lip anxiously as I watched the elevator go higher and higher. It was taking me to the highest point, twentieth floor, penthouse. I tried punching in some numbers or tried stopping the elevator and go back down and run home because this wasn’t what I wanted. I don’t even know why I came here, how my brain still remembered the route to his apartment. It happened such a long time ago, so why did I still remember? I guess the saying that we remember unpleasant memories more is true.

My heart skipped a beat when the elevator suddenly stopped and the doors slowly opened, revealing a big walk in to my eyes. My mouth fell open at the extravagancy, the floor a green marble and the walls a peachy color. Everything looked so fancy, too expensive. I had no rights to be here but there was no reaction when I kept punching the closing button, the elevator doors didn’t bulge, the elevator didn’t move. But Oh Sehun was nowhere as well and I started feeling bad, the old lady, Mrs. Kim must be waiting for the elevator too and I’m keeping it up. Sighing, I took slow steps and entered the apartment. The moment I stepped out the elevator, the doors closed and I assume the elevator left. Heart beating fast, body shaking, I walked further in, eyes wide as I took in the colors and the expensive looking apartment. My mouth almost dropped open when I was met with the view of the whole city, the windows going from floor to ceiling. I was no longer in the hallway, this looked like a big lobby, some chairs, definitely expensive, placed in the middle of the room turned towards the windows. There was a huge bookcase on my right, and I caught sight of a few books I liked. There were big, wide stairs leading upstairs and I wondered just how big this place is? But if this place is so big, why is it so quiet? Why can’t I hear laughter coming from Sehun’s parents? Where are they even?

To my left was a smaller hallway that lead to a different room and I think it’s the kitchen since the door was opened and I could see a table and a sink. There was a shuffling coming from upstairs and I twisted around, heart feeling like it finally stopped beating when I saw a door opening, Oh Sehun walking out. He didn’t see me and I’m not surprised, this place was so huge. I watched as he went closer to the stairs, slowly descending them.

“Yah, Jongdae, what are you doing here at this hour!” He exclaimed, too focused on his phone. Was Jongdae Mrs. Kim’s grandson?

“I told you many times you can’t just come here and--” Sehun’s voice suddenly died out, leg hovering over the next step. I felt small, smaller than usually thanks to the huge, opened space I was standing in. Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed as he took in my drenched, shaking form, phone placed in the pocket of his black sweatpants. I opened my mouth to say something, but it was impossible, nothing came out, I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to turn around and run away, as far away from him I could and never ever again see him. It looked like Sehun suddenly realized it was me, Song Chae-Yeong, standing in his lobby, eyes turning hard, glaring as he marched down the stairs and up to me. I whimpered when he stopped sharply in front of me, gripping my arm harshly.

“Just what the hell are you doing here, Song Chae-Yeong?” He raised his voice, laced with anger and disgust. I lowered my head more, wet hair falling in my eyes, biting my lip.

“I have no idea how you got here, and why did that man let you up--” Sehun scoffed, suddenly pulling me forward “But you are leaving, right now!”

My lips started trembling as suddenly tears welled in my eyes. I needed someone, someone that didn’t know what was wrong, I suddenly realized I didn’t want to leave.

“No, please” I whispered, clutching onto his arm as he dragged me after him, down the hallway I just came a few minutes ago.

“Sehun, please” I whispered, but he pretended he didn’t hear me.

“You are ing crazy, Chae-Yeong” Sehun glanced back at me “Were you stalking me? Oh my god, what kind of freak are you?”

“Please, stop” I muttered, pulling out of his grip “I’m not--I’m not a freak, I didn’t stalk you...you took me here that night you found me in that outfit, don’t you remember?”

A dark look fell over his eyes as he seemed to remember what I was talking about.

“But that doesn’t give you any rights to come back--what the are you doing here, Chae-Yeong?” Sehun scoffed again, trying to grip me again my I stepped back, shaking my head.

“Please just, I’m not--I don’t know why I’m here” I looked up at him, a tear rolling down my cheek “You think I want to be around you? I don’t, I just--I don’t why. I don’t know why she left and I’m hurting, it’s too much--everything. I can’t-I can’t take it anymore, I feel like I’m breaking, I can’t--” I fell to my knees, lungs burning as it got harder to breathe, tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Don’t do that” Sehun said lowly, coming closer to me “Don’t have a panic attack”

“Please don’t send me away” I whispered, balling my palms into fists “I know--You hate me and I hate you, but just--don’t send me away right now, I can’t-I can’t even think properly”

“No , Chae-Yeong” Sehun scoffed and a silence settled between us. I forced myself to calm down and wiped my tears away but when I looked up Sehun wasn’t there. Did he disappear? I turned around to see him walking away, typing on his phone, back straight as he went.

“Get your pathetic up from there, stupid” He called with a cold tone and I stood up shakily, following after him reluctantly. I remained quiet and wiped off the remaining tears from my cheeks, pulling my wet hair behind my shoulder. I was starting to warm up but I was still shaking.

“What the happened to you, Chae-Yeong?” Sehun snapped, suddenly turning around. I jumped and stopped before I would knock into him. I stared up at him, biting my lower lip, shaking fingers gripping the ends of my shirt.

“Why the are you still in your school uniform? Why did you run away from school today?” His eyes narrowed as he took a step closer each time he asked something.

“Can you--stop?” I choked out, lower lip trembling.

“You are standing in my house, drenched in rain, looking like a ing mess--I think I deserve answers, Chae-Yeong” Sehun hissed, glaring at me hard that I had to look away from him.

“I don’t--I don’t want to tell you, I--” I in a deep breath, glancing around. I was still in the lobby, I know the way out, it was really stupid of me to stay here, even come here and even more embarrassing to ask him to let me stay.

“I’m leaving” I stated firmly, turning around and racing back to the elevator, heart beating fast as I tried getting to it as fast as possible.

“Hell no” Sehun scoffed and raced after me, pulling me away from the elevator when the doors opened.

“Don’t touch me” I muttered, growing stiff, what happened in the alley coming back to mind “Don’t touch me!”

“You come here all hysterical, I tell you to leave and you beg me to let you stay, than you just suddenly decide you are leaving--what do you take me for, Song Chae-Yeong?” Sehun’s voice raised as his eyes grew wide, staring at me angrily.

“I don’t know! I don’t know why I came! Why I let that old woman push me in the elevator! I don’t know anymore, Sehun! I want it to stop, this pain--I want it to go away” I whispered, going limp in his hold as suddenly my vision blurred.

“Don’t faint, Chae-Yeong!” Sehun exclaimed, startling me. But my body felt too heavy for me to stand on my own legs.

“I’m not, I’m just--feeling weak” I muttered, closing my eyes a little bit. Sehun muttered something darkly underneath his breath and then I was suddenly lifted, Sehun’s hard chest coming in contact with mine. I opened my eyes startled but Sehun just scoffed and carried me past the lobby, to a room that looked a lot like the living room. He placed me down on the green, soft sofa and disappeared somewhere. I sighed and pulled my blazer off gently, placing it on my exposed legs due to still wearing the school’s skirt. Sehun walked back with a glass of water and a fist closed, a blank expression on his face.

“What’s that?” I eyed the pill varily and Sehun rolled his eyes, pushing it in my palm.

“It’s some vitamin, it should help you” He muttered like the words were forced out of his mouth. I glanced at him as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched me gulp down the vitamin slowly. Gripping the glass in my hands, I stared ahead, the feeling of numbness present in my chest. It felt weird, like someone was squeezing it and trying to rip it out but was failing, making the pain stronger. Sehun his cheek, making a loud popping sound. I flinched when I felt fingers brushing against my forehead, my eyes shooting up at Sehun.

“You need to change” He muttered, seeming in thought.

“Come on” He sighed like I was the biggest burden on his back and pulled me up from the sofa like I was a weightless doll. I made a sound of disagreement but remained quiet since he already let me stay and even gave me some vitamin...I really hope it’s vitamin and nothing else. He pulled me towards the big stairs and I stumbled after him, almost tripping over a step and falling down. Sehun glanced back and scoffed when I yelped but nevertheless he kept pulling me after him. It was starting to annoy me that he was just dragging me around like some doll, can’t he just ask me to walk after him? Getting upstairs I was amazed once again by the smaller lobby that the stairs lead up to, an actual piano sitting closer to one of the doors. I stared up at Sehun’s back as we passed the piano, could he play it or was it just for decoration? We walked down the hallway and he pulled me inside the last room on the left, closing the door after us. My eyes widened as I took in the glamorous room. The windows were just as wide like in the lobby downstairs, a big bed standing across from it, providing the bed with a great view at any time. Sehun the lights and I was able to see better now. There was a small couch in front of the bed, on the left a high table with different photos framed in. There was a big, dark wooden desk beside the door we just entered, a laptop sitting on it with some books scattered beside it. I realized a beat later that this was actually Sehun’s room. It smelled awfully of him and there were cigarette packets scattered on the desk and even on his bedside table.

I jumped when suddenly a door slammed open, I didn’t even realize Sehun left me alone. He was holding some clothes in his hands as I turned towards him, eyebrows furrowing.

“Don’t look at me like that” He scoffed, glaring at me “You can’t stay in those wet clothes, there are already big chances you got a fever. Change into these”

I eyed the clot