Chanyeol's POV

What should I wear?

This?

Or maybe this?

One shirt landed on the bed,. Followed by another shirt. Then another shirt. Then the next.

This? Nah, too plain.

This? But it's too formal...

This? It looks good...

"But there's a stain on the left sleeve so nope." As I reached out to take the next shirt out of the closet, my hand found air instead.

"What?! It's empty?" I ruffled my hair in frustration and plopped on my bed, or rather on my clothes.

"Woah. Are you attending a fashion event or something?"

"I'm meeting Sunji tomorrow!" I simply stated and Suho snorted.

"Did you really need to ransack your whole wardrobe for that?" I groaned internally and Suho handed me a shirt from the pile on the floor.

"Here. This should be good enough." Agreeing with his decision, I quickly sent Sunji a text before I forgot.

To: Sunji
Message: Hi hi (｡◕‿‿◕｡) I'll meet you tomorrow in front of the SM Building at 2pm! See ya!!

Sunji's POV

I smiled at the emoticons.

As expected of oppa.

I quickly texted back but right before pressed 'send', Hye Sun screamed. Scurrying to the bathroom where she was, I left my phone on the table.

Hye Sun's POV

"What happened? Are you alright?"

"Th-there's a spider..." I looked at Sunji from where I was. Squatting on the top of the toilet bowl cover.

"Where? I don't see any,"

"Please just go away. I will offer my little brother as a sacrifice to the Mother of Spiders every day for the rest of my life and I swear to never kill or even hurt a spider ever again. Please don't hurt me..." I rambled, making Sunji roll her eyes.

"It's a spider. A teeny tiny spider at that. You're 5000 times bigger than it. And you're afraid of it?"

Have I mentioned how much I hated spiders? I couldn't stand the creepy crawly. I mean why on earth would an eight-legged creature even exist? It's not even classified under 'Insects'! I firmly held on to this belief that spiders were mutations that went wrong. Luckily, Sunji finished that hairy creature off and saved my life once again.

"There. Gone without a trace. You can get off the toilet seat now you know. I doubt it can take your weight," Sunji teased.

Sunji's POV

After the small commotion, we headed straight to bed where Hye Sun forced me to sleep beside her, afraid that the "spider spirits would haunt her in her sleep."

Sunji's POV

" . I completely forgot to reply Chanyeol Oppa!" I stared at the unsent message and jumped as a new text coincidentally came in at the same time.

From: Chanyeol Oppa
Message: Hello! I figured you must've been really busy yesterday since you didn't reply and I didn't want to bother you! Anyways, we're still up for our meeting right? Let's go get some ice cream!

To: Chanyeol Oppa
Message: Oppa! I'm really sorry I forgot to reply you! Sure! But can I meet you in the practice room first? I was composing this guitar piece all night and I think it's finally ready. But before I showcase it at the monthly evaluations I want to hear what it'll sound like!

From: Chanyeol Oppa
Message: Meet you there in 15 minutes!

I hopped up from my sitting position and ran towards the toilet to wash up. Throwing on an oversized sweater and ripped jeans before wrapping myself up like a cocoon in Kai's warm and super huge jacket. The jacket he gave me awhile back when I fell asleep in the dance room. I grabbed my guitar and shouted a quick "Bye!" to Hyesun. We had both started making new friends and mixed with different people so we really weren't that bothered about not spending all our time together anymore since we knew that we'd always be best friends first before anything else.

I plodded down the hallways and into the corridor leading up to the practice room when I bumped into the EXO members.

"Hey guys!!" I greeted cheerfully, waving my free hand.
"Uh? Sunji-ah! Good morning! We're heading for vocal practice! Have a good time with Chanyeollie, we'll catch you guys later!" Suho greeted. I nodded my head and shot them a quick smile before opening the door to Room 128 and entered with Chanyeol.

"Oppa! I need some help here. It sounds really strange but I'm not sure what's wrong with it." Chanyeol looked over my shoulder and scrutinised the messy score sheet in front of me. Grabbing his guitar as well, he sat down and started experimenting with different tunes.

"I GOT IT OPPA! OPPA! I have a fantastic idea!" I exclaimed, extremely excited. I took out a fresh piece of paper and wrote out a new score sheet, similar to mine but with different tweaks on different lines. "We're going to perform a duet!"

.
.

"You're playing this wrong! This should be an F and not a C!" I corrected Chanyeol.
"I think it'll sound good like this though, let me play it and you tell me what you think!"

"One, two, three, four." Simultaneously, we both strummed our guitars, the melody in my head and on the messy score sheets actually sounding like a physical piece of music. I nodded in approval at Chanyeol's change.
"Wow. You're right. But I feel that the bridge shouldn't be that strong. It's an emotional song and the bridge kills that for me."

That was what I liked best about practising with Chanyeol. Even though he was older than me, I never felt suffocated around him and I could always speak freely and openly because I knew he'd understand. I didn't feel like small hoobae next to him, but felt more like an artist and a performer. He also always made sure that my opinions were heard and took all my advice seriously.

"I really think we've got this down. I think it's good to go!" Chanyeol clapped happily, the dimples on his cheek making an appearance. "This is your first guitar arrangement and composition right? It's actually really good! I must say that I am extremely impressed."

Chanyeol lowered his voice and pulled a serious expression in an attempt to mimic our beloved Mr Lee Soo Man, "Another fantastic job this month Sunji. Continue to work hard and you might just be debuting as part of our new girl group."

"Oh? Oppa, you heard the news too?"

"What news?"

"News about the new girl group. You just said that didn't you?"

"There's really gonna be a new girl group? I completely made that up! Doesn't matter now! This is so exciting! You'll be our hoobae! EXO will no longer be the "maknaes" of the company!"
"You say it like I'll definitely make it Oppa."
"I'm sure you will! Sajangnim would be stupid to drop you!" Chanyeol exclaimed, giving me a thumbs up.

By the time we were really done and happy with our piece, it was already 3 in the afternoon.

"I'm starving," Chanyeol whined, "I can't believe we practised for 4 hours straight. My fingers hurt! Can we please go get some ice cream now?"
"Aish fine. Let's go."

Chanyeol's POV

I led the way but instead of bringing Sunji to the ice cream shop, I brought her to a nearby cafe to eat. Call me a liar but the cafe did actually serve really good ice cream for dessert. But I just really wanted to have lunch with Sunji. I'd noticed how rapidly Sunji was losing weight and how she really wasn't eating well.

I held the door open for her and caught her confused expression. "Lunch!" I said and gestured for her to take a seat in one of the booth seats. She sighed and nodded, taking off her jacket and placing it next to her.

The cafe was rather empty since the lunch time crowd had passed so I didn't really have to worry about being recognised. Despite having Sunji around, I suddenly wasn't in the best of moods. Sitting still in the booth and doing nothing but wait, forced my mind to remember the argument I had with my dance instructor after practice last night. His words repeating like a mantra that I didn't want to hear. "Get your act together Chanyeol, you need to be more responsible. You're the one who needs the extra dance practice the MOST but you don't even turn up." "It would actually help if you tried to follow the choreography FOR ONCE Chanyeol." "Can you at least ACT like you know what you're doing?"

The other members only stared in the background silently. Their faces showing a mixture of pity for me and anger at being held back. I knew that none of the members knew about my condition since I didn't want to tell them and worry them. But I guess I secretly hoped that someone would notice. The only people who could tell that something was "off", was Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. But even then, they didn't ask. I knew that I was rapidly running out of excuses for myself and for my bad performance in training.

"Oppa are you okay?"
I woke up from my thoughts and looked down to see myself stabbing my poor piece of steak.
"Huh? Oh yeah I am. Just really tired and warm. Give me a second to remove my jacket." I lied.
Sunji looked at me unconvincingly as I struggled to remove my jacket in the tiny booth. When I finally managed to, I huffed at the exertion and placed it next to me, just like what Sunji had done with hers.

"Oppa? Erm... Uh..." Sunji eyed me hesitantly.
"Yeah? Why are you stuttering?"
Sunji's raised a shaky finger and nervously pointed to my left arm.

My eyes widened and I hurriedly tried to put my jacket back on. I was wearing a sleeveless black tank underneath my jacket which meant that my badly bruised left arm was in complete and open view. I sighed and rubbed my fingers against my temples, giving up with the jacket. I took a peek at my arm to see if it was in better condition and alas, it definitely was not. My whole bicep was swollen and bruised with patches of purple, blue and green. The medicated muscle tape that I had wrapped around it had a grotesque yellow colour and smelt of herbal medicine.
"It's fine. It'll heal soon anyways. That's what happens when you can't really dance haha." I tried to brush it off and stuffed a huge bite of steak into my mouth.
"You mean this is normal?"
I chose to ignore her question and just looked out the window, an awkward silence making itself present in our tiny booth seat for two.

Sunji's POV

"Is it fun? I mean... Being in EXO?" I asked, in an attempt to break the silence.

Chanyeol looked up at me and smiled, sadly. "Yeah sure it is, what's there not to like?"

"Well, that doesn't sound very optimistic." I joked, trying to get him to smile.

"Well, there are definitely benefits. I've met a bunch of great guys and I'm doing what I love so that's good I guess?"

"That's nice! I mean I can't wait to debut. I think I'd be a dream come true for me!"

"That's what I thought." Chanyeol mumbled under his breath.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly offended.

"Well, the last time I got to go out by myself without my manager was almost a year ago. Even then, I had to be in optimal disguise and I still got spotted after 15 minutes. I love our fans and all, but after debuting and finally establishing a name for myself which yes, was my dream, I realised it really isn't all fun and games anymore."

I sighed and nodded, signalling for him to continue.

"We're all given a particular image to follow and we have to constantly be aware of what we're doing, where we go, who we talk to, HOW we talk and it gets so tiring sometimes. And you know, I'm the happy virus of the group. I bring the mood up when necessary and I just try to keep everyone going. It's an image thing but I guess it's an image that fits me well since I don't have to do much acting. But on variety shows where I try so hard to make everyone smile and have a good time, they say I'm being fake. I don't understand what the people want and likewise I don't think people understand that this happy virus isn't always happy."

Chanyeol stared out the window once more. 

"I know you're not always happy though. I think you're really brave for putting up with such a difficult situation. I hope you know that it's okay to be sad. The more things you keep inside and the longer you keep them there, the faster you'll reach a breaking point. You can always talk to me like what you're doing now. Come on! You're Park Chanyeol, male god with visuals that put Won Bin to shame! You're an attractive, sweet, talented guy and you've done so much for your fans." I comforted, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the number of positive things that had come out of my usually brusque mouth.

Chanyeol faked a smile.

"It feels good to finally be able to let loose for awhile and speak my mind without the fear of backlash. Training has been exhausting especially since we're preparing for a comeback next month. It's been so difficult trying to meet everyone's expectations. I know I'm no where near perfect but I wish they didn't make me feel so bloody incompetent."

If was the first time I heard Chanyeol swear and I knew that he must've been really upset and stressed out.

"People constantly call us stuck up and mean just because we don't acknowledge our fans. In reality, I see all of them, each and every person that comes to fan meetings and sends us off at the airport. I so desperately want to say hello, sign a few autographs and take a few pictures but I can't. I'm not even allowed to give back to the fans that have been there for me since day one and brought me where I am today."

"I'm genuinely tired Sunji. And lonely. I miss my parents and my noona. I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted and I miss having enough sleep. I can't even remember the last time I had 5 hours of sleep. It's just schedules schedules schedules now. I'm very thankful for where I am today but I just wish that things would get easier. The Chanyeol everyone sees on stage runs on caffeine and injected shots and all our members hide bruises under our clothes."

"The worst thing is when we finally get a piece of choreography down. The next day, another one twice as hard is thrown at us and we're given half the time to perfect it. We're so busy that I don't even have the time to pick up a phone call from my own mother and I have no say at all in what I want to do. I feel like forcing myself to bear through practice after practice is not even paying off. The results are no longer as prominent."

"I honestly think that if I didn't love music as much as I do, I would've given up a long time ago. I stay up all night to produce new tracks and songs, praying to all the gods up there that one day they'd actually be good enough to make it into one of our albums. I've waited for 5 years and that day still hasn't come." Chanyeol laughed humourlessly and looked up at the ceiling.

"It's pathetic really."

I stared at him and felt a surge of pity flow through me. I never thought about it that way before. Gently, I asked, "Then... is producing your own music and doing what you want, what will make you happy?"

Chanyeol's shoulders slumped as a lone tear escaped his right eye. He lifted his hands and hurriedly wiped it away, hoping that I didn't catch it.

"It's really not that complicated..."

"I just want to be enough."

A/N: Err.. hi. Okay that was long. Yea it is. K bye~ \(^_-)/

→hillary0611 ღ