Sherlock

By spartace_jjang

I won’t miss even a single trembling breath of yours

The jewel of the heart that I’ve secretly been aiming for

-Shinee, Sherlock

  A beam of moonlight seeped through the windows and bounced for a few times on the pane before settling on the floor, deflecting the intended silhouette that was leaning against the wall. The shadow on the bricks shifted position abruptly, thus pulling the glow closer to his embrace. The only noise that could be intercepted in all the silence is the inhaling and exhaling of gasps, with different levels of smoke from a cigarette. Circles and circles of vapor lilted around the person and painted a mysterious bubble surrounding him. Between gaps of breathing, sighs after sighs could be heard, as if the person was trying to clean his lungs every time after the inhalation of tobacco.

  'What are you doing, Nam Woo Hyun?’ A jumble of footfalls could be heard from far to near, a husky chord that Woo Hyun did not fail to notice. The cacophony screeched a stop in front of him, tripping the part of numbness in Woo Hyun's blood. The man in front of him was saying something, but Woo Hyun kept his head low so he could ignore those molding of lips and the augmented squeal coming from his throat. He left his mental self mapping the course from his shiny black shoes to the legs of his skinny trousers, up to the initially perfectly folded shirt that became messy because of the long-hour exercise. 'I will imitate that part next time as well,' thought Woo Hyun.

  'Are you listening to me?' Woo Hyun snapped his head up to reality and saw Sung Gyu looking at him with the mixture of concern and anger written on his face. 'Um. Yes.' Woo Hyun cleared his throat. 'Then why smoke? We have to go on Weekly Idol tomorrow. And we have some intensive dance practice. Do you want to die?' Sung Gyu dumped a bucket of questions towards Woo Hyun, but no response was given from the younger one. Sung Gyu followed his gaze and found Woo Hyun's eyes wandering around his face and his shirt. Sung Gyu blushed a little at the intensity of the stare and he was glad that the darkness of the night sky covered his red face.

  'What's on my face? Why are you glaring at me?' Sung Gyu crossed his arms and demanded, hoping to cover his embarrassment. 'Huh?' Woo Hyun's iris eventually focused. 'I wasn't staring...'

  'Yes, you were.' Sunggyu insisted.

  'I wasn't! Really...' The ‘really’ at the end of the sentence seemed to be weakened but Sung Gyu did not notice.

  ‘All right, all right. I don’t really care. Just give me the cigarette and get back inside,’ Sung Gyu grew impatient as the younger boy handed him the contraband. ‘Why do you have to smoke, anyway?’

  ‘…you were smoking yesterday as well,’ Woo Hyun’s voice grew weaker but the passion in his eyes were unmistakable for anyone to see.

  'I have said before. Don't follow my actions. Those are bad examples, okay? And you don't actually have to observe every single movement of me. That kind of freaked me out.’

  ‘Sherlock Holmes has once said, the world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes. You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.’ Woo Hyun leaned closer to Sung Gyu until they were standing face to face. ‘The only way to know a person is to observe the little details of their habits. You know my effort. My life is founded upon those little observations of both flawless and flawed trifles. Those jots and scraps of retrospections that are piling on you.’

   ‘You are not Sherlock.’ Sung Gyu let out an uncomfortable laugh as he pulled a distance between himself and Woo Hyun. ‘You are only Nam Woo Hyun.’

   ‘This Nam Woo Hyun is capable of doing much more things than people have noticed.’ Woo Hyun did not waver and stepped forward again, shortening their gap. ‘Especially to his loved ones.’

  ‘This is not a good way of expressing love, you know, by stalking and following one’s actions.’ Sung Gyu tried to talk Woo Hyun out of his business, but the more he spoke, the more he perceived the sparkle in his eyes that screamed of absurdity.

  ‘At least I got your attention, didn’t I?’ Woo Hyun stretched out a lazy side-way smile that only creeped Sung Gyu even more.

  ‘You are mad, Nam Woo Hyun.’ Sung Gyu shook his head and lowered his gaze; he was suddenly afraid to face the person in front of him – that face whom he had loved and cherished before.

  ‘I am.’ Woo Hyun did not deny. ‘And don’t worry, Gyu hyung, I won't miss even a single trembling breath of yours. You can never walk out of my shadow. And remember, your little ornamental heart will soon be mine.’ He patted Sung Gyu’s chest affectionately before leaving the room, which only made the latter flinch in abhor.

  The night was not cold at all, but the series of encounter left Sung Gyu shivering in the dark.

  Where has that immature and childish Woo Hyun gone?

  When did he become this frenetic?

  Sung Gyu never know.

-----

  Obsessive love--a hypothecial state in which one person feels an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess another person toward whom they feel a strong attraction, with an inability to accept failure or rejection.

-----

15th June 2019

Kim Sung Gyu died in a car accident.

Nam Woo Hyun attempted suicide.

-----

  Woo Hyun is not Sherlock. He is just Woo Hyun. Plain Nam Woo Hyun.

  Sherlock Holmes is only a fictional character who never dies. Woo Hyun is just a human.

  Sherlock Holmes accept failure and picked himself up after every defeat.

  Nam Woo Hyun could not.

  With the disappearence of his mental support, the pillar in his heart snapped in two as well.

  He died on the same day.

Sherlock

By Aderation

Under the cold moonlight, a man stumbled along the empty pathway, legs wobbling. His eyes were blinking rapidly, body was shivering, mouth was wide open to inhale more oxygen. His blood-stained hand was trembling from fear. The cold wind blew through his sweater into his spine, the silence seemed like a storm eve. He thought he could hear the distant shouting and screaming, and the trees silence dance, weaving through the darkness. In the night, they were only darting shadows, he could feel the branches whipping all around him, engulfing him. The darkness came alive around him, murky shadows flitting in and out of his vision. The man trembled, finally the wobbling legs could no longer support his weight, and he crumbled down, sat on the cold concrete road and sobbed helplessly.

“Sir, what’s the matter?” hearing the voice, the man lifted his tear-stained face and blood-shot eyes, only to see a man standing right in front of him. The figure mingled with the figure in his horrible childhood memory, a feeling of fear rushed towards him.

Using his two jelly-like legs, he moved back in a sitting position until his back touched the cold wall instinctively. He screamed voicelessly when he felt that he had no space to move, and his legs were too weak to bring him away. He looked up at the person again, eyes open with frantic fear.

“Don’t come near, don’t come, please.” He held up his hand to protect himself from the closer and closer person, tears were forming in his blood-shot eyes.

Not listening to the man’s beg, the person went forward, and squatted beside him, trying to comfort the other. Under the dim light of the moon, the man could vaguely see the police uniform of the person.

Police. Memory of what he just did rewind in his head, the scream, the shocked eyes, and the blood rushing out. Realization hit him, and he tried to escape. But he was too weak, his condition backfired him, and fell down on the road hardly.

“Sir, sir?” hearing the police’s approaching footstep, the man attempt to scramble away.

“Don’t come…”and he broke down into small sobs, the next thing he knew was that he was already in the police’s embrace.

“Are you fine?”

“I killed him. I killed him.” The man muttered.

“What?”

“I killed him. I HAVE KILLED HIM!” the man screamed, then broke down into sobs again.

A dead man lay on his back was lifeless in a alley, in a pool of blood that was almost dried and gave the alley a sickly-sweet butcher shop odor. A blood-stained brick was right besides his head, bruises were crawling all over his face and hands. There was a trail of blood on the corner his mouth. Eyes were side open, but his irises held a sudden shock and helplessness.

“Jang Dongwoo, 24 years old.” A policeman said, while holding the ID card he just got from the corpse.

“Oh, Woohyun, you are here?” follow with the voice, a young man was running into the crime scene.

“Oh. Sungyeol-a, what happened?”

“Yesterday when I was doing my daily inspection, I found a young man who was crouching on the floor, and he told me he killed this person.”

“Oh.” Seemed it won’t be a simple case, Woohyun thought “check the relationship between this two people.”

“Sure.”

Meanwhile, Woohyun was looking at the corpse carefully, not wanting to lose any small details. Half-lay-half-sit position on the ground, cement in the victim’s hair, blood-stained brick beside his head, bloodstain on the wall, bruises all over his fatal parts, deep cuts on his face but without any weapons found. It seemed like it was a planned murder.

“Sir, what’s your name?”

“Don’t come near, don’t come near.” The person in the cell kept going backward, eyeballs moved left and right rapidly, until he got no space left.

Woohyun didn’t move, he stood still at the doorway, looking at the person who was overtaken by fear. Judging by the swollen eyes, tearstain on his face, and his messy hair, he must have cried a lot.

“What’s your name? I won’t hurt you.” Woohyun said in a soothing voice.

Hearing that Woohyun wouldn’t hurt him, the person calmed down. The trembling eyeballs came to a stop, and he finally looked at Woohyun.

“What’s your name?” Woohyun asked again, in a more tender voice.

“Myungsoo. Kim Myungsoo.” Myungsoo muttered in a whisper that if there wasn’t echo sound in the small cell, Woohyun probably wouldn’t hear it.

“Myungsoo-xi.” Woohyun said in that tender tone, “why did you kill him?”

A question was enough for Myungsoo to break down again.

“He wants to kill me. He wants to kill me.” Myungsoo muttered between gaps of sobs. The pale face of his, the echo in the empty cell, the grey walls of the cell, all were like an invisible pressure, overwhelming Woohyun. Woohyun’s hand was holding the metal bar of the cell door, he had never felt that the bar could be that cold.

“Why do you think he wants to kill you?”

“He said I am a degenerate. He was a stalker, he followed me everywhere. That night, he was holding a whip to hit me, I begged him not to, I said I’m sorry, but he ignored me. He held a cigarette, a burning cigarette, and burnt my hand…”

 “But we didn’t find any whip or burned cigarette in the scene.” Woohyun furrowed his eyebrow as he knew the person in front of him was lying.

“No, no. That’s true, I heard him, I heard him saying I am a degenerate…”

Woohyun said nothing as he looked at Myungsoo who was helplessly struggling. The boy in front of him was scared at first, then suddenly he became offensive, then he sobbed weakly. Woohyun observed all the sudden mood swing.

“Probably Bipolar disorder.” Woohyun thought. After Myungsoo had calmed down, he left.

“Do you know this person?” Woohyun showed Myungsoo’s photograph to Dongwoo’s best friend and colleague, Hoya.

“No. I don’t know him, Dongwoo also had never mentioned this person. But I saw him the day Dongwoo was being murdered.”

“When and where did you see him?” Woohyun’s face was lit up, as he was one step closer to the truth.

“Dongwoo and I went to the bar after work, we just drank a few cups, and both of us were not drunk for sure. We were chatting happily about every stuffs, suddenly a phone call broke the serene atmosphere between us. I didn’t know who the person was on the other line and what did he said, but Dongwoo abruptly picked his stuff, and left the bar. Then I noticed this guy, following Dongwoo out of the bar. I didn’t think much, but if I had stopped the guy, then nothing would happen.” Hoya said, guilt was shown all over his face. Woohyun wrapped his hand around the younger, his head was running fast at the same time.

“What is this now? Myungsoo claimed that Dongwoo was a stalker and wanted to kill him, while they barely knew, and Myungsoo was the one who followed him. Also,the phone call? Who called him that caused him to leave abruptly?” Doubts and questions were rising in Woohyun’s mind.

 “Sungyeol-a, have you investigate Kim Myungsoo’s family background?” Woohyun asked.

“Yeah, here.” The policeman whose name was Sungyeol handed Woohyun a document.

“Kim Myungsoo has no relatives. His mother died when he was one, and according to the police record, his father and stepmother were being arrested when he was 8 due to maltreatment towards him. He is currently renting an apartment alone, and his occupation is as a photographer.”

“Good, how is Myungsoo’s condition?”

“He got a few cuts on his body, and his emotion wavered quite often, and when we question his reason, he kept saying that Dongwoo wanted to kill him.”

“He seemed to suffer from some kind of mental disorder, I will contact psychologist Kim Sunggyu for further investigation.”

“Also.”

“What?”

“I have checked Dongwoo’s call record. He didn’t receive any phone calls that night.”

Hearing this, Woohyun scrunched his eyebrows. What was the reason for Hoya lying?

“Sunggyu.” Woohyun waved excitedly when he saw his beloved hyung sitting in the café.

“Oh, Woohyun-a.” the older smiled as he saw the approaching figure.

“What’s the case this time?” Sunggyu said once Woohyun sat opposite to him.

“Woah, how did you know that?”

“Humans have two types of facial expressions, the first one that stays only for a few seconds, and the second one is the face that the people keep consciously. The one that reveals your feeling is the first one,” seeing the person in front of him started to get irritated, Sunggyu added, “the expression you have right now is the second one. The first expression is when you sat down in front of me right a moment ago, with one of your eyebrows slightly raised. I noticed that your pupils had grown larger instantaneously and stared at me at that moment. Pupils react sensitively when you are curious, or you have something to say.”

“Fine.” Woohyun was totally irritated, he wondered why he got this psychologist friend in the first place, “I do get a case.”

“What is it?”

“A few days ago, Sungyeol found a man sobbing by the roadside, and the man admitted he killed someone. The weird thing was that there were no relationship between the man and the victim, and I have enough clues to believe that it was a planned murder. I have later talked to the man, his reactions were weird, he easily got angered, flustered, and sad. I suspect that he was suffering from Bipolar disorder.”

“No, it is not bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is a kind of disorder which patients suffers from periods of elevated mood and periods of depression. The frequent change of mood doesn’t indicate bipolar.”

“Fine,” Woohyun was once again irritated by all the professional speech from Sunggyu, “then why was he acting like that?”

“Anxiety and panic, he had just killed someone, and locked in a cell. He was still suffering from shock, and became too sensitive.”

“Also, he claimed that the victim wanted to kill him, but according to witnesses, it was him who followed the victim.”

“Lying.” Sunggyu said, partly to Woohyun, partly to himself.

“Kim Myungsoo, right?” Sunggyu said emotionlessly.

“Who… who are…. are you?” the person in the cell curled himself in the corner instinctively.

The older said nothing, observing the person in front of him. Color drained from Myungsoo’s face, as white as snow, white as a ghost, white as a sheet, rigid, cold sweat falling from his forehead, trembling, stammering, edging backwards, white knuckles, every part of him was showing his scare and fear.

“Why are you scared?” Sunggyu asked.

“I’m not scared.” The younger answered immediately, then looked away.

Short and immediate answer, hands touching his nose, eyes fluttering, making deliberate eye contact. Liar, Sunggyu smirked, but he said nothing.

“Why did you kill Jang Dongwoo?”

“I didn’t kill him.” Myungsoo emotion suddenly became calm. Sunggyu observed the facial expression of the younger. No micro-expression of guilt, lips were not pursed, eyelids blinked at a normal speed, and the emotion showing in his eyes were stubbornness, but not a desire of belief. He was not lying, Sunggyu came to a conclusion.

Woohyun stared at the computer monitor concentrated. He was watching the cctv video that night in the bar.

And there they were, Dongwoo and Hoya. They were sitting on the bar, drinking while chatting. Hoya was right, Dongwoo didn’t seem to have gotten drunk, his face was not red, and his overall performance seemed calm. But there wasn’t a phone call, nor did Dongwoo left abruptly. Instead, Dongwoo left after a few cups , with a person besides him.

Hoya.

Doubts in Woohyun’s mind were rising.

“Have you checked the cctv today?” Sunggyu asked.

“Yeah, but there was something tricky.”

“What?”

“Myungsoo didn’t appear in the bar that night, and it was Hoya who was beside Dongwoo.”

“Today I met Myungsoo.” Sunggyu said.

“What did he say?”

“He claimed he didn’t kill Dongwoo.”

“But he said that before.” Woohyun emphasized.

“But his face showed no clues of lying. I am thinking he is suffering from DID”

 “Dissociative identity disorder?”

“Just an assumption. I will observe for a longer time.”

“Myungsoo.”

“Wha… What do… do you wa…want?” Myungsoo stared at Sunggyu who showed no emotion in front of him, trembling.

“I have a few questions, you must answer all of them truthfully.”

Sunggyu took the other’s silence as a yes.

“Do you know Dongwoo. Jang Dongwoo?”

“No.”

“Have you experience time loss?”

“No.”

“Why did you kill him?”

“I killed him. Yes, I killed him.” Myungsoo mumbled.

“Why?”

“He wanted to kill me. He said I am a degenerate. He was a stalker, he followed me everywhere. That night, he was holding a whip to hit me, I begged him not to, I said I’m sorry, but he ignored me. He held a cigarette, a burning cigarette, and burnt my hand…” Myungsoo let the sentence unfinished. Sunggyu furrowed his eyebrow, the person first claimed he didn’t know Dongwoo, but now he was saying he was a stalker.

Sunggyu observed all the Myungsoo all the time carefully. His expression, his accent, his movement didn’t change at all, meaning that it was not DID. Neither did Sunggyu saw clue of him lying.

“Ripley’s Syndrome.” This two words flashed in Sunggyu’s mind.

“Woohyun, there is something weird. I think Myungsoo is not the murderer, he seemed not to be lying when he said he didn’t kill Dongwoo.”

“Sunggyu, really? there is a new suspect for Dongwoo’s case on my list too.”

To ease his suspicion, Woohyun decided to visit Hoya again with Sunggyu.

“Hi.” Woohyun said as they stepped into Hoya’s house.

“Hi.” Woohyun could see the awkwardness and inconvenience on the other’s face, meanwhile Sunggyu just stood there without moving his hands from his pocket or opening his sealed mouth.

“What are you curious of?” Hoya asked once they sat on the sofa.

“Can you describe again what happened the night Dongwoo died?” Woohyun said.

“Dongwoo and I went to the bar after work, we just drank a few cups, and both of us were not drunk for sure. We were chatting happily about every stuffs, suddenly a phone call broke the serene atmosphere between us. I didn’t know who the person was on the other line and what did he said, but Dongwoo abruptly picked his stuff, and left the bar. Then I noticed that guy you showed me that day, following Dongwoo out of the bar.” Hoya repeated.

“How about you? What did you do after Dongwoo left?”

“I saw Dongwoo didn’t come back, so I left by myself.” He answered.

Meanwhile, Sunggyu walked around the house. Two drawings caught his attention, a black sun and an abstract drawing of something falling from the tree, psychologically seen as a sense of loss. A black dagger hanging on the wall.

Hoya noticed Sunggyu’s attention and gave him the answer, “Dongwoo bought me this dagger when he went to Africa. I treasured it a lot.”

Sunggyu nodded, and continue his observations, just to confirm his assumption.

“Hoya, I get one last question.” Woohyun said.

“Go ahead.” Hoya tried to be calm, but his anxiety was observed by Sunggyu from his sweating hands, and trembling legs.

“Why did you lie?” Woohyun asked sharply.

“Er… Wh… What are you saying?” a question, but Hoya’s face showed no emotion of uncertainty, instead it was shock.

“Look at this.” Woohyun showed the cctv. Seeing it, Hoya’s face turned pale and tried to escape. But he couldn’t win the amazing reflex Woohyun had.

“You are arrested, Hoya, for murdering Jang Dongwoo.” Woohyun announced.

“When you make an assumption, can you at least show me evidence?” Hoya retorted.

Hearing this, Sunggyu held the dagger and walked to the subdued person, “this is the evidence.”

Hoya’s face was paler.

“This is Luminol, it can detect blood. Do you want me to prove it?” Sunggyu asked while swaying a bag of liquid.

Seeing this, Hoya didn’t resist anymore, head hanging low.

“Why did you kill him? Wasn’t he your best friend?” Woohyun questioned.

“Best friend,” the person smirked, “he is the one who killed my parents.”

“He killed your parents?”

“My parents and Dongwoo’s parents car crushed, and they died pathetically. From that day on, I lived with Dongwoo, but do you know how hard it is? I am forced to face the killer of my parents, the one who let me lose parents’ love every day. They sure treat me well, but it is nothing to my parent’s” Hoya gritted his teeth.

“Revenge.” Sunggyu concluded.

Then Hoya got onto the police car.

“How about Myungsoo? He said he killed Dongwoo.” Woohyun said to Sunggyu as they watched the police car drove away.

“I think I have the answer, the last step is to confirm.”

“Myungsoo.”

The person in front of Sunggyu rubbed his hand nervously.

“I will ask you a few questions, please answer all of them truthfully.”

“Su… Sure.”

“Did you kill him?”

“Yes.”

“Who did you kill?”

“Him. I killed him!” Myungsoo’s emotion once again became unstable.

“Who is him?”

“My father.” Hearing the expected answer, Sunggyu left.

“When did you know about it?” Woohyun asked after he witnessed the answer, not yet fully recovered from the shock.

“I had this suspicion once I saw Myungsoo, and further proved when Hoya was arrested.”

“But why did he said that he killed his father, his father was still in the jail.”

“Paranoid Personality Disorder.”

“Why?”

“Maybe due to the maltreatments he suffered in childhood.”

“But wait. How do you explain with the blood stain on his hand?”

“Probably that’s his own blood.”

“Poor Myungsoo, because of some coincidence, he is locked in the cell for days.”

When people are hungry, they eat. When they are cold, they put on clothes. With survival instincts, the body, itself, is making an effort. Our minds are the same. These are the things needed for the mind to survival. First to find the hole in our empty ego that is hidden within us. Second, to turn an ear to the SOS the mind sends. And finally, to confront the entity that’s the source of the mind’s disease. If you don’t fully face the entity, the hole in the mind will gradually grow bigger. In the end, my mind will disappear and only a dark hole will remain.