Fog

By Aderation

A vast blanket of white hung heavy over the hills. It suffocated every building and every tree at their base, swallowing every distant object and vanishing around every corner. It swooped in and skirted around the buildings and the tress, like a giant erase moving in discriminately to eradicate what was once there into something that’s not. He stood in a pocket of it, but it only seemed like a pocket to his. He knew that he too was swallowed, erased, eradicated by this enveloping whiteness. He stood in the still silence within the fog, his only comfort being that of the cold white blanket that hugged his shoulders and grabbed at his trouser legs.

With his arms about Sungjong’s neck and a leg over his belly, Myungsoo breathed softly in the younger’s face. Sungjong knew he should find the handsome face fight in front of his face adorable but the younger prefer private space so he gently peel the older off and pushed him to the other end of the bed. Sungjong was really not much of a hugger, he never seen liked teddy bears as a kid though he enjoyed punching it. (XD)

The person who was in his dream put his hand back on Sungjong’s small waist not even one minute after he was rejected. Sungjong sighed in defeat, and took a good look of the person.

He was a man of any girl’s dream. He had smooth flawless skin, which was like a sheet of well done cloth. And his lips, pink and thin were very attractive and captivating. But what attracted Sungjong were his eyes. His eyes, which was under his brown fringe, was closed in a peaceful and serene aura, like an angel. Looking at his long and black eyelashes, Sungjong got the urge to run his fingers over those lashed. He could bet they were as soft as silk, light as a feather. The moonlight that crept through the window fell over eyes and made those lashes glisten so that from the correct angle they looked almost silver. He wanted to kiss each one of the slept eyelids and fell those lovely lashes tickly his lips.

Sungjong looked at the face again and again, and felt calm rising in his heart.

It hurt his eyes, the fog was so white. Staring at it made him feel like he was staring at himself staring at nothing. His mind fought hard to drum up a thousand different descriptions to plaster across it. Plain white, blank, empty. But there was nothing that could truly describe nothing. And the feeling of nothing was heavy, suffocating. It covered everything in its path, there was no room for light, no room for emotions. He felt nothing, he felt the weight of it, it bit into his skin painfully but left no marks. It ate away his flesh, tore him apart, left you empty. The feeling of nothing scared him. He felt he couldn’t breathe, it felt as if someone was choking him. His heart was racing. He curled himself up into a ball tightly and waited for someone to hug me, comfort him. But no one would, no one was there. A choked cry for help forced itself up his throat.

Sungjong looked at Myungsoo, it seemed there was something bothering in his dream. His eyebrow furrowed and his hand which was on the younger’s waist held tighter.

The lingering light was obliterated by the rapidly falling night. The once salmon and purple sky transformed into a vast expanse of jet-black that engulfed the town. Under the moonlight, the city was glimmering in a mysterious light. Wind break through the window, the curtain dance in rhythm, the breeze brushed against the cold surface of Sungjong’s skin. He could hear Myungsoo’s breath in the silence.

The city was swaddled in a veil of poltergeist-white mist. The surrounding was eerily silent. The deathly vapor didn’t the cold floor as the wind was known to do. Its tongue-less form wouldn’t allow it to. Instead, it warped the buildings that unusually looked ghastly by using its spineless tentacles to trail around everything. It drifted and ghosted, glided and dangles.

The city looked familiar and new to him, he looked around, in attempt to find the right road. IT was overwhelming, everywhere was the same under the fog, the tall buildings, the street-lamps, the roads all landmarks were hidden behind the white that swirled so densely. With every step he took forward, he seemed to have moved nowhere. He ran, he walked, he stopped, he started, but he saw nothing that was different, it was still the freezing fog wrapped around him like a blanket. He felt a sinking feeling of despair as he realized something he had been denying for the past moments: he was lost.

He felt he was once again the 18-year-old him, wasn’t sure is singer really the career he want, wasn’t sure when will he debut, wasn’t will he success after he debut… a lot of uncertain troubled him, though he was success now, but the uncertainty didn’t leave him. He was still scared, the fear of lost, the fear of unknown, the fear of failure.

He shivered as he thought about his fear.

He had the kind of face that stopped you in your tracks. Sungjong guessed the older must had gotten used to that, the sudden pause in a person’s natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze and a weak or shy smile. Of course the blush that accompanied it was a dead give-away. It didn’t help that he was so modest with it, it made the girls fall for him all the more.

“But I hate you being this handsome, it means that you cannot be only mine.” Sungjong thought as he traced his trembling fingers across Myungsoo’s face.

Suddenly it came the patter of feet on his waist and this time the older was shaking. Arms stretching out for a hug, probably having a nightmare.

Sungjong embraced the older and looked at him in concern, “Hyung? Myungsoo hyung?” he repeated until the person’s snuffles settled to a steady rhythm.

“Hyung? Myungsoo hyung?”

Someone was calling him, who is the person?

Slowly, he turned around, what greeted him was no longer the fog that made him lost. Instead, it was a ray of sunlight. In reflex, he held his hand to block the dazzling light. Between the fingers, he could barely drew an outline of a person. The person held his hand up, and waved to him.

“Who are you?”

Silence was the person’s answer. The person opened his arms wide, motioning him to come closer.

“You are asking me to come closer? But who are you? Why should I trust you?”

A light muffled laughter went into his ear, it was like the song of heaven. He felt so calm all of a sudden, the fear he felt minutes ago seemed years away.

“Don’t move, I’m coming.” He said, the person smiled in response. He didn’t know why he knew the person smiled despite the fact that he couldn’t see the person’s face clearly.

He hugged the person tightly. This mysterious man, appeared with the sunlight that lighten up his world, gave him a new world. He felt like he had embraced everything. Warm, blissful, secured.

The rapid beating of his heart, it seemed too good for real. He wished he could stop the time, and indulged in the peacefulness.

Myungsoo awoke to soft sheets, and the morning light trickled in through the blinds. Shedding himself of the remaining glimpses of the dream of fog, his eyes were still hust as he soaked in the warmth of my covers before letting his eyes see the sun’s rays.

What greeted him was Sungjong’s close-up face. It looked so peaceful and serene. Myungsoo made a smile when he thought about the mysterious man in his dream last night.

Thank you, Sungjong. You guide me through the fog and lead me to the light.

Thank you, for being with me when I am in the mist of confusion. 

--Myungsoo

Fog

By spartace_jjang

  There are three ways to play stand-up paddling.

  The first way is, of course, stand up and paddle on the board. In this position, you can go fastest and can enjoy the best scenery. Yet you are more risky to fall into water.

  The second position is to sit and paddle on the board. It is less risky to fall into water since it is requires less effort to balance. The view is not bad, although the scenery from the first way is certainly better than in this position.

  The third method is the slowest way, yet it is the most relaxing position. It is to put aside the paddle, lie on your stomach, and use both hands to row. The view would just be the logo of your stand-up board and the muddy water surrounding around you.

  Myung Soo and Sung Jong fall in love with this activity at the same time; However, Sung Jong uses the first method. And Myung Soo uses the third.

-----

  They start the sports at around five months ago and Myung Soo still cannot forget the salty sensation lingering on his taste buds the first time and how exhausted he was and had to rush back home for a shower and an immediate sleep. The second time is not that bad: he only fell into the water for a couple of times and his arms hurt less comparing to the first time. It’s just that he still does not understand how to balance on the board without falling into the water and thus, he slips and topples and stumbles into the water all the time.

  The third time is better, at last. He finds a way to cure his imbalance on the board. The coach sighs in relief (or maybe disappointment?) as he watches Myung Soo lying on his stomach and flapping his arms around like a seal. Finally, finally, he is getting use to this sport.

  And finally, he comes across Sung Jong.

-----

  That is purely an accident, actually, how Myung Soo and Sung Jong met. Myung Soo’s instructor is sick that day. Not wanting to waste the course fee, he decides to go by his own. He rolls up his sleeves and after putting on his life jacket, he proceeds onto fixing the stand-up board.

  Sweat rolls across Myung Soo’s face as the sun exposes its evil side. He is struggling with the paddle’s position—where should I place my paddle when I am rowing with my hands? Should I take the paddle out? And oh should I just use a rope to attach to the paddle so that I wouldn’t have to care about it—

  ‘Place it perpendicular under your body.’

  Myung Soo looks up from his crouching position. Through his squinted eyes he can see a man standing in front of him, holding a paddle as well. ‘You can just place the paddle there when you row, if you have to stay in this position.’ The man walks forward with a slight smile on his face. ‘Just like this.’ He places the paddle onto the board and motions Myung Soo to lie onto the board. ‘There, there. Here you go.’

  The paddle arches in a perfect angle under Myung Soo’s body. He tries to move around a bit and little by little, he increases his speed and soon finds himself rowing in such a smooth way that he is unaware to the shouting behind him.

  ‘Hey!’ The man’s voice rings through Myung Soo’s ears. He turns himself round and looks back at that new face. ‘Can I go with you? My coach is not here as well.’

  Myung Soo stares at the man for a while and the man stares at Myung Soo for a while. Finally, Myung Soo grunts an agreement and the man gladly climbs onto his board and starts rowing.

  Myung Soo is astonished as he sees the man coming towards him in a lighting speed. The figure comes from far to near and not long after he is already facing the stranger in a face-to-face distance. ‘Hey.’

  Myung Soo loses himself in that water-dripping black hair that glisters in the sunlight and those tanned arms and those well-balanced feet which stretches out like a blend upside-down ‘V’ and those super pretty toes—he thinks to himself—how can someone be so perfect?

 (And then he scolds himself that he shouldn’t be counting how many toes one have as everyone has ten toes but he just want to make sure that the guy in front of him is not too gorgeous to have lost a toe.)

  ‘My name is Sung Jong,’ those slender fingers curves into an amusing line and Myung Soo hesitates for a moment to actually shake them, for some reasons he is afraid that his own hands will contaminate his.

  ‘My name is Myung Soo,’ he does not stammer; not like in those k-dramas—a k-drama will not allow two male characters falling in love with one another anyway, he thinks.

But he does allow himself to trace the figurine for more than once and enjoys the sensation of being electrified and feels the sizzling comfort that crackles up when he grips his hands. Then he lets his faculty ramble around where his heart should be located and lets his ears takes in that thumping and thudding sound that stumbles wildly from his heart to his stomach.

He quite allows himself to do things like these, giving his heart a permission to stray about Sung Jong. But he only keep these scenes in his head--he can't afford to let anyone knows about his affection.

-----

He can’t remember how he and Sung Jong start to meet up regularly. But he knows, every Wednesday, he should go to the centre and pay twenty thousand won for the rental fee and find Sung Jong near the boy’s toilet and together they push the boards into the sea and row forward.

Sung Jong is bright and smart and witty and he can balance himself on the board exceptionally well. He even stood on the board with only one leg one day and looks at Myung Soo with a prickle of mocking that colors his laughter. Myung Soo doesn’t mind, thought. He thinks Sung Jong is just being himself.

He on the other hand, can only have the ability to lay flat on the board and splash around like a wild duck. Each time Sung Jong has to wait for Myung Soo to catch up with him and he is particularly embarrassed.

And every time Sung Jong will use up at least half an hour to persuade Myung Soo not to lie on his stomach and try to stand up. He eventually gives up after he sees Myung Soo falling into the water for numerous times when he is only sitting.

----- 

  His friends are amazed by his encounter. 'Our Myung Soo has grown up to have a boyfriend,' they joke. 'Bring him to us one day, we would like to see who has made our little Myungie crazy.'

  'It isn't like that,' Myung soo protects. 'He's a very close friend.'
  'Closer than us?' They say. And that will become the topic of the rest of the evening.
  Although annoyed, Myung soo could do nothing to stop them from saying these kinds of things. And one day, when they are joking continuously and one of Myung soo's nerves is titillated and he says something that he regrets at once, 'I will bring him to our next gathering.'
  The whole room freeze at that point and Myung soo is so tempted to the take back his words. But then one of his friends starts cracking up; soon an exact date is fixed for their next gathering and Myung soo can do nothing about it--he is the one suggesting it by any means.

(Although he has no idea why he does that and things don't turn out like they should be. He is only trying to shut their annoying voice out of his mind.)

-----

  He doesn't notice it until Sung Jong tells him that he looks strangely quiet on a Thursday in mid July. It is a sunny day and is supposed to be the perfect weather for going out, but sung jong's words chills him to the bones right away.
  'Why are you avoiding me?'
  'Huh?' Myung soo lifts his neck up from the lying position. He couldn't say if it is his delusion or not that Sung Jong's face is darkened. 'I don't know what are you talking about.'
  'You know perfectly what I am talking about, hyung,' Sung Jong purses his lips like a catfish which Myung soo finds it cute and dismiss the thoughts almost immediately. (Almost.)
  'I ...I am not avoiding you,' Myung soo stammers for some reasons that he himself can't even place his finger on. 'You are,' Sung jong insists then sighs. 'If you don't want to tell me your troubles, that's fine. But you have to know that I am your friend and I will always be there if you have any worries. Okay?'
  Myung soo nods. Sung jong replies him with a smile and starts to paddle away, probably to somewhere closer to the shore.
  Before his mind can process what is happening, he finds his throat calling out Sung Jong's name and saying, 'Can you...can you join a friends' gathering of mine? Some of my friends want to meet you and I know it's really awkward but please come and...'
  Sung jong has turned his head towards Myung soo and he has the most beautiful smile on his face that leaves half of Myung Soo's sentence unspoken and he just stares at Sung Jong like he is the last human surviving on Earth.
Then slowy, eventually, with the beam still on his face, Sung Jong nods an agreement.

-----

  He doesn't imagine those exclaims coming out from his friends' mouth when Sung Jong is presented. They are shocked to see him. Sung Jong is way too pretty and way out of his league, according to one of his friends.

  'You do have a good taste, Myung.' His friend smirks at him when Sung Jong leaves the place to go to the toilet. 'It is hard to find such an ultimate creature with such good manners and cute face. He looks so like a woman. Oh god, did I just think of something dirty? Sure I did. He is so beautiful, that chick.'

  A wave of nausea rolls onto Myung Soo's body as his friends continue to blabber about how perfect and how y Sung Jong is and how they would love to own him. From time to time they will nudge Myung Soo playfully when they mention the possession of Sung Jong or laugh at some silly comments on the obsession towards beautiful boys. But Myung Soo can't sound a single chuckle. Sung Jong is not an object; he is a human. With feelings. His heart only sinks lower when Sung Jong comes back from the toilet and everyone else at the table is looking at him with either dirty and jealous eyes.

  Myung Soo can't tolerate this mess at all and, without knowing what he is doing, he sprints to his leg and grabs Sung Jong's hands ,yanks him towards the door before scampering down the streets of Seoul.

  Behind him are shouts of 'Come back Myung Soo' and 'Beautiful boy' but Myung Soo ignores all of them. The only sound that can go through Myung Soo's ears is his own breathing and Sung Jong's breathing. He runs; from the busy bustle of city life to some unknown alleys and quiet streets and also through streams of crowds. People push, and bump into them but none of them block his way. He continues to run and run and continues to feel that tiny but strong pulse on Sung Jong's wrist that he is holding. He, for the first time of his life, feels linked.

He finally slows down in one of the alleys and both of them are panting and puffing already. Hands leaning against the wall, Sung Jong whispers, 'What was that for?' 

  '...You are not an object,' was the only answer from Myung Soo.

  Sung Jong remains silent and stares at Myung Soo. He stares back, his own eyes tearing up as he does so. Sung Jong nods after a minute or so before turning his head away, but the glimmer of understanding passing through them is unmistakable. Myung Soo can see his own reflection clearly in Sung Jong's eyes and he suddenly knows one thing for sure: he can trust him.

-----

  The view gets misty but Sung Jong still insists to go out. 'I don't want to waste the renting fee,' he says to Myung Soo on the phone, and Myung Soo don't have another reason to argue with him, so he packs his things and off he goes to the beach.

  The fog is so heavy and thick that Myung Soo has to use his hands to push through curtains of fuzz until he can observe the figure standing in front of the boy's toilet. For some reasons Sung Jong doesn't feel disturbed by the weather at tall and whithin ten minutes he has already setted up everything.

  Myung Soo uses another ten minutes before he pushes his board into the water and starts to row. The misty surroundings are not helping either and soon, Myung Soo's speed slow down.

  'Hey!' Myung Soo yells into the distance and to the hazy silhouette. 'Wait for me!'

  'Stand up and paddle! It will be easier!'

  'What?' Myung Soo is dumbfounded. 'Seriously? Now?'

  'Yes! Just go for it. It will be fine!'

  '...You know I can't balance on the board, right?'

  'Just try! It is really going to be fine!'

  'I...' Myung Soo loses his words and he stares into the murdy water around him. Stand up? Him? Naw, it will be Mission Impossible.

  He glances up and to his surprise, Sung Jong is rowing away from him. A shot of betrayal gets onto his throat and he knows his tears are swelling around his eyes. 'How can he leave me here?'

  'Come here! Stand up and row towards me!'

  Myung Soo looks up. Sung Jong is standing on the board at about twenty metres in front of him and is smiling towards him. The beautiful toothless smile suddenly brings him back memories of the night where he feels connected for the first time and how they passes comprehension through a gesture and how his breathing rattles against Sung Jong's pulse. He thinks back how they first encounter and how Sung Jong's beam catches his eyes. Then he remembers his reflection in Sung Jong's eyes and he knows he can trust him this time, just like how Sung Jong trusts him when they run out of the restaurant that day.

  'Stand up.'

  It's more of a reassuring tone to Myung Soo than an order. And Myung Soo makes up his mind.

  Slowly, eventually, he stands.