Hidden Courage
Wish Ur My LoveAfter Like Seventeen Concert ‘Boys Wish’ finished, everyone were given free time to spend with their family and relatives for a week. Even so, some members were already on the dorm again after only 4 days, including Jisoo, Mingyu, Chan, and Myungho.
Jisoo POV
‘Should I? Should I not? Should I? Should I not?’, Jisoo keeps questioning himself over and over again while looking at sticker on his phone. He’s hesitating whether he should confess his feelings to Mingyu or not. It’s been almost a year for Jisoo to keep his feeling for Mingyu, and it tortured him A LOT. ‘Aha! Then let’s do this! If he comes to me in ten seconds, then I’ll confess to him tonight for real.’, Jisoo got an idea. He feels that it’ll be impossible for Mingyu to comes in ten seconds, since he, Chan, and Myungho were already asleep, except he’s extremely ‘lucky’ this time. ‘One... Two... Three...’, He starts having a hope for this silly idea. ‘Four... five...’, His heartbeat getting faster. ‘Six... seven... eight’, Jisoo already giving up, and smiles bitterly to himself. ‘Nine... te.’
*Knock knock knock
‘Who is it? No way!’, Jisoo kinda afraid that it’s really Mingyu who knocks the door.
“Hyung~”, Someone said nervously while open the door.
“Mingyu!”, Jisoo shouted. He dropped the phone and can’t even managed to maintain his shocked expression.
‘Wow... it’s really happening!?’
“Why are you so surprised, hyung?”, Mingyu confused. He’s holding a bolster thightly.
“Ah.. hehe. I... it’s okay.”, Jisoo smiles awkwardly. “What is it, Mingyu?”, Jisoo managed to asks.
“Oh yeah. Can I sleep with you, hyung? I can’t sleep, because I’m still scared after watching the horror movie this afternoon.”, Mingyu pouted like a kid.
“Sure. I’m all alone too in this room. Haha.”, Jisoo tried to laugh, but ended up being awkward.
“Wait. Do you mean you sleep beside me on one bed, Mingyu?”, Jisoo surprised after Mingyu coming to his bed.
“Y.. yeah, hyung. I’m really scared to be alone now. I.. is it okay? If not, then it’s alright.”, Mingyu said while looking down to the floor.
‘Aigoo he’s so cute!! I wanna pinch his cheeks. It’s been a REALLY long time ago since the last time we’ve a proper conversation like this.’
“Okay okay. Don’t be so sad like that.”, Jisoo smiles in return and moved a bit so Mingyu can sleep with him.
“Yay! Thanks hyung.”, Mingyu then lay down besides Jisoo with his head on Jisoo’s shoulder. “Wait. What is this?”, Mingyu felt something hard on his back and take it. “It’s your handphone, hyung.”
“Ah right. Thanks.”, Jisoo try to grabs his phone.
“Oh wait, hyung!”, Mingyu noticed something. “I.. isn’t that... isn’t that the sticker I gave to you months ago!? You still keep that!?”, Mingyu gasped and covering his mouth.
“Yeah it is.”
“How can you still keep that, hyung!? It just a piece of garbage!”, Mingyu complained.
‘Because... this was your kindness, sincerity, and... just because this is from you, the one I liked. It’s precious for me.’, Jisoo thought. “How can you say this little cute thing a garbage!? Haha.”, Jisoo laughed.
“But really... it just ugly. The fact that I should’ve give you something better.”, Mingyu feels guilty.
“Nope! It’s not. I love this.”
“H...hyung...”, Mingyu smiles a little.
‘I should do this now’, Jisoo gathered up a courage to confess to Mingyu.
“Mingyu... Can I ask you something?”, Jisoo gulped, but Mingyu didn’t see that, since he was looking to his fingers.
“Yeah, hyung?”, Mingyu looked up to Jisoo. Their eyes met.
“What if...”, Jisoo hesitated.
“If what, hyung?”, Mingyu titled his head a little. Their eyes still looking to each other.
“What if I said that I like you?”, Jisoo said calmly. He didn’t believe that he can said those words calmly.
“ ... ”, Mingyu looked surprised, but he can’t says any word. He then divert his eyes to his fingers again.
‘No response. What should I do?’
“ ... ”
“Mingyu, I... I like you.”, Jisoo said softly. His heartbeat getting faster.
“ ... ”
‘What if he hate me now? What if he disgusted with me now? I should know that Mingyu must be like girls. Even if he like a boy, it must be someone nice like Wonwoo, not me.’, Jisoo getting nervous by the situation.
“Look Mingyu, I...”, Jisoo tried to explain.
“N.. no, hy.. hyung!”, Mingyu said clearly, but kinda stuttered. His eyes still on his fingers.
“Yes?”, Jisoo confused and getting scared.
“I.. I d.. don’t li.. like you!”, Mingyu said stuttered again, but almost shouted. This time he looked to Jisoo and then he hurriedly leaves the room.
“Mingyu, I...”, Jisoo said, but before he can finishes his sentence, Mingyu already left the room.
‘It’s done. I’m so done.’, Jisoo feels devastated. He feels like everything crushed into him. ‘Can I just die right now?’, Jisoo can’t thinking straight. He just wished that he didn’t confess to Mingyu. ‘I’m sorry...’, Tears unconditionally rolling down on his cheeks.
===
Mingyu POV
‘Was that real!? Jisoo hyung confessed to me that he likes me!?’, Mingyu stares at the ceiling blankly. He just can’t believe that his hyung that he adored a lot, even like a role-model to him confessed that he likes him, directly this night. ‘So, since when he liked me? Only few days or already been a long time? Oh God. I was so stupid to reject him so cruel like that. I actually didn’t mean to say it. I was so nervous that my brain and mouth can’t even connect and comprehend the situation straight. God... Jisoo hyung, I’m sorry.’, Mingyu feels guilty and keep punching his head. ‘Am I gay? Am I like Jisoo hyung back? I keep getting butterflies on my stomach whenever around him. My heartbeat always getting faster. Also I awalys feel my cheeks are getting hot whenever talk to him. Am I really like him? Argghhh I don’t know!!!!’, Mingyu groans and palm his face with the bolster.
==
“Hyung, wake up!”, Chan shook Mingyu’s body gently.
“Hmm...”, Mingyu rubs his eyes then get up from his bed.
‘It’s already morning... I wonder how I explain what happened last night to Jisoo hyung... I didn’t mean to hurt him...’, Mingyu thought as he proceed to the bathroom.
“Chan, do you know where is Jisoo hyung?”, Myungho asked Chan who just comes to living room.
“I don’t know, hyung. I haven’t see him.”
“Where does he go? It’s still 6 a.m... I want to borrow some of his books about Korea guide.”, Myungho getting confused.
“Oh that book! It’s with me, hyung. Jisoo hyung told me to keep it. Wait. I’ll get it.”, Chan then going to his room.
“I’ll go with you.”, Myungho following him.
‘Hmm? Where are you, Jisoo hyung? Did you mad at me? I’m so sorry... I wanna explain, but I still don’t dare to face you directly after what I’ve done...’, Mingyu sighed while going to the bathroom.
==
‘Ah... I feel better... though I still can’t rid of the thoughts of Jisoo hyung, it’s better now...’, Mingyu thought as he dry up his hair with towel.
“Oh?”, Mingyu saw something on the desk. It turned out to be the bento box he had when he was sick months ago.
“It’s been a long time seeing this bento box. Not only see, but eat this too.”, Mingyu talked to himself and smile spread across his face.
‘Is it mean that Wonwoo hyung already here?, Mingyu remember. “Chan, is Wonwoo hyung already back?”, Mingyu shouted.
“Yeah. He’s still sleeping on our room!”, Chan replied.
“Okay thanks!”, Mingyu smiles to himself.
‘But why all of sudden? Ah nevermind. I’ll just eat this.’, He then opened the box and eat the bento as fast as a human could do.
‘Ahh... so nice. But it tastes a little bit salty compared to the last bento I had.’, Mingyu gets a bit confused. ‘It’s okay though. It’s still nice. Thanks, Wonwoo hyung.’, Mingyu feels blessed to have a best friend like Wonwoo. ‘I’m thirsty now. I’ll get an orange juice on the kitchen’, he thought and walking to the kitchen.
“Oh hyung! Where did you go?”, Chan asked Jisoo who just enter the dorm.
“I was jogging at the near park.”, Jisoo smiles.
“Ah I see. I was wondering where did you go.”, Chan said, feeling relieved.
“I’m okay, Chan.”, Jisoo took off his shoes and then Mingyu passes. Both of Jisoo’s and Mingyu’s eyes met. But just in seconds, Jisoo divert his eyes to the floor while going to his room, with no smile at all like he’s always be.
‘Jisoo hyung... I’m sorry...’
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