Chapter VII.

---

She feels light.

Her breath is hitched as her lips play gently against Tiffany's. She feels too many things at once that she can't bring herself to list them all because there's just too much. There's so much to feel – so much to take in – that she can't count them all and she's afraid that she'll miss feeling them completely if she's too absorbed with memorizing them.

It's almost like she's flying (maybe) as if she's free. As if she's finally free from the chains that bound her hands to write for the world to only realize that even the world can't see through the jagged surface. Her books spoke volumes of what's she's been trying to get out all along.

...And the world still can't see me,

It's only when she feels Tiffany pull away gently that she realizes her lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen, making her inhale sharply for air. Their lips slightly brush again as Jessica breathes a whispered gasp, the distance between their lips so painfully little.
It makes her head spin for more.

"...You call this proof...?" Jessica chuckles despite herself, her voice fleeting because of the flickering excitement coursing through her as her eyes slowly flutter open. "All I've learned from this was that you couldn't resist me,"

She means it as a joke, but Tiffany's hoarse, shagged reply makes her brown gaze drop to the athlete's lips again.

Jessica wants more.

"Would you be mad if I said I suddenly couldn't...?" Her eyes flicker back to meet Tiffany's darker pair, noticing how her onyx eyes are shifty. Tiffany's nervous. "I didn't think – I just...I just found myself moving and..." Her voice trails and Jessica thinks her stuttering is incredibly endearing.

Jessica sees how Tiffany is trying to explain herself, but she just doesn't care about that.

Not right now, she muses. I don't care right now, not when... Jessica doesn't allow her thoughts to finish, putting them to a halt as she brushes her thumb across Tiffany's cheek again instead, memorizing the contour lines of her jaw to avoid thinking all together.
…More,

When she speaks, her voice is shaky. "Would you be mad if..." Jessica pauses briefly so her eyes don’t trail back to meet those lush lips, ignoring that single thought. "...if I said I can't bring myself to believe you just yet?"

...I can't trust you,

When Tiffany's eyes curve into crescents, Jessica can't help but move closer again. "I'm willing to wait," she hears Tiffany say as she pauses in her motion, their lips barely grazing.

Jessica doesn't miss the numerous gazes and stilled bodies that are occupying the library at the moment. She doesn't remember the room being as crowded as it is now, but she chooses not to dwell when hushed whispers of disgust reach her ears.

The rumors are true,

They're really together...I can't believe it.

Tch, lesbians.

Since when is her business any of theirs?

"Please refrain from showing public displays of affection in the library, unnie." Jessica jolts back from the sudden sound of firm authority.

Her heart pauses briefly before her mind registers the tall woman across from her and she lets out a breath. Her long black hair is cascaded loosely over her shoulders and Jessica suddenly thinks she's breathtaking. Her white complexion and upright posture is appealing, and Jessica contemplates who the individual is.

Tiffany is rubbing the back of her neck nervously as the woman remains still from where she stands, cradling her thick textbooks against her chest. Jessica frowns when she cannot seem to read what's lingering in the woman's dark brown eyes as she continues to stare at Tiffany.

She said 'unnie'; perhaps a junior?

"Sorry Juhyun," Jessica tears her gaze away from the woman – Juhyun – to see Tiffany smile sheepishly in response, "she’s a friend of mine, Jessica."

Jessica doesn't miss the way Juhyun's eyes flicker swiftly from Tiffany to her, as if analyzing the situation. She doesn't blame the woman for looking so skeptical, though.

"Nice to meet you, Juhy –"

"– Seohyun,” and Jessica is forced to stop abruptly under the woman’s heavy scrutiny, “everyone calls me Seohyun.” She finishes firmly.

...Except Tiffany, Jessica notes to herself as her brown eyes follow Seohyun’s gaze back to the athlete.

Tiffany appears taken aback when Seohyun starts, “I heard you got injured during practice,” she says, Jessica keeping silent to watch.

Jessica notes the psychology textbook that Seohyun is cradling against her chest, so she eyes the way the girl carries herself. Her back is rigidly straight, shoulders not drooping but rightly placed, and her attire is neat and kempt. Her clothes are simple, not stylistic like most women her age tend to dress, and Jessica thinks she’s well adapted to the environment.

“Yeah,” Tiffany replies quietly, but Jessica sees the way Seohyun’s eyes flicker again. “It’s nothing, so don’t worry about it.”

It almost looks as if Seohyun has something to say, but the words don’t leave her lips and Jessica merely sees the way she frowns, her brows furrowed.

“How old are you?”
Jessica doesn’t flinch when Seohyun returns her steady gaze, her darker shades of brown piercing as she considers the bookworm’s question.

Seohyun purses her lips as her eyes narrow.
“Nineteen,” she states curtly, and Jessica merely hums in response.

...Two years younger than me, she thinks. A first year,

“Why so stiff?” Jessica doesn’t realize her words have slipped from her lips again until Seohyun hardens her gaze, her brows visibly crinkling. “You’re acting as if I’m hostile,” Jessica’s words don’t stop slipping from her lips, but since she’s already speaking her mind, she thinks she might as well finish the whole way through. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Seohyun’s reply is steady and Jessica furrows her brows in question, “Perhaps,” the younger girl combs a hand through her black hair, sighing. “You’re more of a problem than anything else.”

Jessica narrows her eyes then, suddenly feeling indignant as she clenches her hands into fists. Seohyun catches her biting her bottom lip and the younger girl appears surprised when Tiffany speaks up.

“Juhyun,” her call is simple, but her tone is stern and Jessica watches Seohyun drop her gaze to the floor, as if ashamed.

Tiffany doesn’t say anything more as she stands, looping her bag over her shoulder. It doesn’t escape Jessica’s eyes when the athlete struggles to move. Seohyun beats Jessica to it, the younger girl offering the athlete her support as she places Tiffany’s arm over her shoulders.

Jessica can’t help but turn away when she sees Seohyun’s arm wrap tightly around the athlete’s waist.

The bookworm realizes the crowd has dissipated, probably long gone soon after Seohyun had appeared as Jessica eyes the library.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jess.” She spins back around so she sees Tiffany, the athlete giving her a weak smile as Seohyun stands idly beside her.
Jessica merely nods stiffly in response, unwilling to display anything more to the newcomer beside the athlete.

Seohyun doesn’t spare her a second glance as she takes Tiffany away.

---

“That’s her roommate, Seo Juhyun.”

Jessica is surprised to see Taeyeon appear from a corner of the library as she settles herself back down on her chair. She purses her lips in silence as Taeyeon motions to sit beside her, where Tiffany used to be.

“She just cares about Fany-ah a lot,” Jessica doesn’t respond and Taeyeon sighs, exasperated. “She’s well known to be a worrywart.”

It’s not like she doesn’t believe Taeyeon, but she saw the way Seohyun had eyed Tiffany, and not being able to decipher what it was, is puzzling her.

“What if she’s –“

“– Seororo isn’t interested in her,” Taeyeon finishes Jessica’s thought quickly, reassuring her. “If that’s what you’re thinking.”

Jessica falters for a moment, craning her head so she’ll see Taeyeon’s face. Her look is telling her not to worry, but Jessica knows when she feels there’s something more.

“It isn’t,” Taeyeon seems to see through her so Jessica turns her head away, slightly feeling flustered.

She coughs into her hand before leaning back and letting the curtains draw over her eyes.

Jessica brushes off the doubt coursing through her and considers the fact that Taeyeon may be right. She definitely knows Seohyun better than shedoes, after all.

“...You’re worried,” Taeyeon’s voice makes Jessica flinch, “or are you normally this paranoid?” Jessica merely keeps mum, unwilling to voice her opinion on the matter as she crosses her arms.

It’s after some time that Jessica finally allows her thoughts to escape , feeling slightly hesitant. “…Is this you?” She mutters quietly, turning her head to see Taeyeon’s startled face. Jessica stares, a smile unconsciously taking her face. “Or am I still talking to my own reflection?”

Jessica doesn’t mean to make Taeyeon look so frightened, as if caught red handed stealing a bag of candies, but the short woman needs to know. She needs to know that Jessica knows, that she understands, and she doesn’t mind.

They all have something to hide, anyway.

“It’s good to be yourself, once in a while.” Jessica states softly, eyeing the way Taeyeon seems to flinch from her words. “I won’t hurt you,”

Taeyeon appears to consider it, but Jessica isn’t surprised when she’s brushed off as soon as Taeyeon gathers herself together.

“That’s what they all say,” and Jessica is tempted to tell her she’s different, but Taeyeon sends her a wry smile and it eases the bookworm back in her seat. “But...I guess you aren’t one of them.”

Jessica returns the smile until Taeyeon moves onto another topic. It makes Jessica flustered under Taeyeon’s cheeky grin and unwavering gaze.

“I saw it, that kiss.”

She frowns then, perturbed. Jessica didn’t miss the fleeting spark of pain that lingered in Taeyeon’s eyes despite the lightness of the short woman’s laughter.
She is tempted to speak her mind again to ask, ‘there’s plenty of others out there,’ but Jessica refrains herself from doing so.

But how long has Taeyeon been interested in her? Should she ask? Would it be rude?

Jessica stops thinking when Taeyeon’s smile becomes smaller, “You’re like rain,”
The bookworm steadies her gaze on Taeyeon’s face, trying to analyze the shorter woman’s mixed expression.

Jessica’s voice sounds small all of a sudden, “Rain..?” she mumbles, still unable to read beneath Taeyeon’s pools of auburn. She doesn’t even know why she’s bothering to repeat what she already said as Taeyeon nods simply, her eyes distant as she cranes her head to look off to the side.

The atmosphere suddenly feels different.

Jessica watches Taeyeon curl a stray strand of short blonde hair behind her ear, “Quiet, gentle – calming, even.” The bookworm can feel her ears begin to redden, but Taeyeon merely avoids her gaze, “but you’re just as relentless,”

Is she supposed to laugh? She isn’t quite sure as Taeyeon turns her neck so she’ll look at her again, her short strands of blonde curling beneath her cheeks.

“I thought I was the flower that needed rain so I could grow,” Jessica crinkles her brows in confusion when Taeyeon continues on, “but then there comes lightning, and it makes sure that everyone knows, ‘rain belongs to me’.”

Jessica begins to slowly grasp what Taeyeon’s trying to say.

Tiffany’s like lightning: swift, agile, loud – bold.

“Are you mad at her?” She takes Taeyeon’s hand so she’ll be a source of comfort, “Are you mad at Tiffany for taking rain away?”

Jessica feels a little silly for talking this way, but Taeyeon’s someone who is hard to read. Jessica can’t keep up with her.

She sees how Taeyeon’s voice comes out shaky, “Even if it’s just a little, I’m still bad, aren’t I...?” It takes Jessica several moments to realize that she isn’t looking at her reflection anymore.

Taeyeon isn’t mimicking her anymore.

She looks the shorter blonde over, watching Taeyeon hug herself, clutching her arms as the material of her sleeves make several folds from the strength of her grip.

This is Taeyeon.

With a wry smile, she wraps her arms around the shorter woman, because she can relate to Taeyeon’s feelings of insecurity.

“...I’m not crying, you know.” And Jessica laughs, ignoring the sudden ‘shush’ of the librarian as Taeyeon murmurs against her shoulder. “I’m just feeling a little emotional, that’s all.”

Jessica can hear through Taeyeon’s deliberate distraction to get out of a tight spot, but Jessica lets it go.

Even she wants to just momentarily forget the doubt that’s gradually tightening the chains that lock her heart.

---

“You’re seriously participating in practice again?”

Yuri’s disbelieving face is somehow amusing to Tiffany. Her nose is scrunched awkwardly and her brows are crinkled humorously that Tiffany has to think of something else to keep from laughing.

Tiffany struggles to put on her track shoes and somehow, she can feel that Yuri is unnerved of her determination.

“You’re an idiot.” Tiffany oddly doesn’t feel offended in the slightest as she tightens the knot of her shoelace, “You know the traps are placed again, right?”

Tiffany merely shrugs as she sits up, “It’s not like it’s you who they’re doing this to,” she cranes her neck so she faces Yuri, the woman sitting rigidly beside her. “So why are you helping me?”

“Is it wrong to help you?”

Tiffany wants to shake her head ‘no, of course not’ because she thinks exactly the same. But does she have underlying motives?

“No one helps just because they want to,”
She remembers Jessica’s skeptical face, how the bookworm is still doubtful of everyone around her. Tiffany wants to prove Jessica wrong. That there are people who will help just for the sake of helping, just like herself, but it’s like looking for pins in a haystack.

“Then what if I am? What if I’m that one person who wants to help just because they want to?”

The athlete considers it, eyeing the way Yuri seems desperate for her to listen.

So Tiffany does.

“Then it’d be nice if there were more people like you,” she whispers before standing. Tiffany shakes her head when Yuri offers her a hand, “sometimes, we need to stand on our own, y’know?”

She waits for Yuri to drop her hands before limping out into the track, her classmates staring her down with hardened gazes.

Tiffany sees the sudden contrast in their eyes, their determination, and even if she knows their intention to hurt her, pain tugs at her chest when she sees them turn away like she’s nothing.

But she’ll stay strong.

“Just follow my lead,” Yuri appears beside her, like a column of support and suddenly, Tiffany feels assured. “They’re not going to be as forgiving after what happened between you and Jessica yesterday.”

...Right, the kiss.

“And what about you?” Tiffany looks to the side to see Yuri’s amused smile, “Are you saying you don’t have a trap set up for me too?”

Yuri merely giggles lightly as she pats Tiffany’s back gently, the action seemingly gaining their teammates’ attention. “Who said my trap was for you?”

Tiffany understands that Yuri means it as a joke, but she’s concerned for the woman’s safety. What if people go after her too?

When Yuri ruffles her head, Tiffany peers up curiously behind stray strands of hair as the woman chuckles quietly. “I’d rather be on the receiving end of a gunshot than be the one who pulls the trigger,” she says, as if reading the athlete’s mind.

And Tiffany understands.

When Tiffany motions to head to the field, Yuri grips her wrist, stopping her. “Why do you run?” She probes quietly.

Tiffany plays with her thoughts at the tip of her tongue before she turns to look over her shoulder, back at Yuri. “When’s the tournament?”

Yuri’s brows are raised and it takes several moments before the tan woman replies, hesitant. “A month from now. Why?”

Tiffany pulls away from Yuri’s loose grip, “You’ll know then,” she says as she slowly makes her way to the track.

She glances up at the sky before her peripheral catches sight of a figure sitting on one of the stands. Tiffany cranes her head and she sees Juhyun with a textbook cradled against her chest, peering down at the field.

“They were the ones who hurt you, weren’t they...?” Tiffany remembers their conversation from last night as soon as they got back to the dorm, “and you’re letting them?”

“Juhyun,”

“Unnie,” Tiffany can’t forget the way Juhyun had pleaded with her eyes, “is she really worth all this trouble?” She had asked, holding Tiffany’s hand.“Her reputation shouldn’t be worth more than your well-being,” 

“But it is,” and Tiffany had seen the way Juhyun’s eyes flared in frustration, “at least, to everyone else it is.” 

“Then why are you listening?”

Tiffany wanted to say that it wasn’t because she was listening to everyone else. It was just because she believes in people too much. She’s convinced that there’s still good in everyone.

Tiffany figures, that if there’s something good in herself; in Juhyun, in Taeyeon, and in Jessica; then doesn’t that mean everyone has the ability to be just as good?

So why aren’t they?

“Because,” and she had felt Juhyun wrap her arms around her shoulders, as if seeking comfort. “I can’t help but see the good in people. No one’s even making an effort to be one,” Tiffany had murmured gently against Juhyun’s shoulder, “is it really that hard? To just be real?”

Tiffany finds it a little sad to know that even she, herself, understands how pointless it is to keep thinking that way.

She wonders if it'd be best to just stop, then.