Chanyeol doesn’t remember getting home. He’d walked out of the Kims’ house dazed and detached, and now he is sprawled on the bed, unblinking at the overhead light, numb.

When they were in college, Chanyeol never really noticed Kyungsoo as more than a little brother – he was protective when the younger came stumbling into his dorm room crying over a failed exam, proud when he sang on stage in that captivating voice; but he never felt the urge to wipe his tears away with his thumb or lift him off the ground and turn him around. So what changed? He refused to believe his marriage was becoming dull or that Kyungsoo suddenly became more appealing because he was tied down.

Just then, he hears a persistent banging on the door, followed by an extremely red in the face Baekhyun. “What the hell have you been doing all afternoon?! I’ve called you about a hundred times, because apparently, bafflingly, you forgot to pick up our daughter!”

Chanyeol sits up guiltily. Was he that disoriented that he not once noticed his phone ringing? Alright, maybe he’d forgotten it in his car. But he forgot to pick up Sungah? “I’m sorry. I just was out of it. Where is she?”

“Well, I had to dismiss my last period early because her teacher called to tell me that she was crying in the playground because her daddy wasn’t there. She’s fine now, by the way.” Baekhyun just now sees the puzzled look on his husband’s face and all thoughts of reprimanding him further fly out the window. “Are you ok? Why exactly have you been out of it? What happened this afternoon, exactly?” Chanyeol doesn’t speak – just pats the space next to him. Baekhyun understands and crawls into bed. But before he could snuggle up to his husband, Chanyeol breaks the silence.

“I have to tell you something.”

And Baekhyun just knows his heart won’t like what he hears.

“I kissed Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun’s heart practically stops beating and he clutches a hand to his chest, placing the other on the bed frame to steady himself, as if the ground had just shattered beneath him and he’s trying not to fall into the cracks. But maybe it had and maybe he’s falling.

“How were you even with Kyungsoo?” is the first thought that fully realizes itself when he finally regains control over his faculties.

“We’ve been hanging out during the day recently.”

“What?” He pinches himself, sharp nails digging crescents into the skin of his forearm, because every word coming out of Chanyeol’s mouth seems more incredulous than the last. “How have you never told me you were spending time with that ?”

“Hold on – ? Isn’t this your best friend from college we’re talking about?”

Baekhyun suddenly finds himself dumbfounded, feeling as if he’s now the one in the hot seat, so he quickly counters, “I'm not the one who cheated on his husband.”

“I know that – I am. And I'm being humble about it. So, what are you and Kyungsoo?”

“You really want to know? We stopped being friends about ten years ago, because the paranoid diva felt threatened by my talent and decided to just throw away what we had so he could find himself.”

 “So all this time we’d bumped into him and Jongin, you hated each other’s guts? Because you fought over solos in college?”

“Here’s the funny part; really this is rich – the solos were just the tip of the iceberg. He found out I was nursing a crush on you and he just blew his top off and accused me of being an awful friend and a , when the whole time, I kept my distance.”

“And you didn’t marry me just to get back at him?”

“What?! Hold on, are you implying I used you for a pathetic vendetta?”

“I just don’t know what to believe right now, alright?”

“You talk like you’re the victim here.”

“I'm not! That’s why I'm apologizing, aren’t I? Look, I screwed up. I screwed up real bad. And frankly, I don’t really know how to think right now because all my feelings are messed up. I kissed Kyungsoo, I don’t know why I did; he turned me down but I don’t want you to think that’s why I'm apologizing. And I am so sorry I forgot I was a father, and it’s just all so messed up and confusing.”

Baekhyun should be livid, and he is, but he knows he can’t just end it like this, right now. He grabs at Chanyeol’s hands that are pulling at his hair and wraps them around his smaller ones. “I get it, Yeol. I’m sure it must be confusing, and I too am sorry because I lied to you. But that doesn’t change the fact that you cheated on me, so maybe you should sort this out first and come back to me when your feelings are clear.”

“What will you tell Sungah?”

“That something came up with your parents, I don’t know. Don’t worry about it. And don’t tell me you love me, because I just can’t hear it right now. Come back when you’re sure.”

“Ok.” With one last squeeze of his hand, Chanyeol gets up and makes his way out.

Baekhyun wills himself not to stare back when his husband shoots him pleading eyes from the door.

Chanyeol wills himself not to go back when he hears his husband crying as soon as he closes it.

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A/N: I know that (a) it's been too long since my last update (sorry about that; school's been a ); (b) a lot of you still hate me for the chansoo storyline; and (c) this chapter is exactly as the title suggests - confusing. But I promise I'll figure it out, alright? It will all work out in the end. Just a few more chapters until we get out of this sad fest.