Chapter One: Yesteryears
pendulumHe moved into my neighborhood during the summer of third grade. My parents had dragged me along to go “say hi to the neighbors” with them. At first, I wasn’t too eager about meeting the new kid that lived in the corner lot, but then I found out he was an expert at what I liked to call the “better” videos games and decided that he was pretty cool.
“Nooooo! I was gonna win that round too!” The two of us were engaged in an intense game of Street Fighter when his television suddenly turned off. It was the first time I even came close to beating him in the two weeks that we had known each other.
“Nu uh Minyoung. All you do is button-mash,” Kyungsoo rolled his large brown eyes and set his controller down.
“No I don’t! Didn’t ya see all those combos I made?” The two of us continued to bicker as we tried to turn the television back on.
“I bet those were by accident,” Kyungsoo scoffed and wiped the snot running down his nose with his left hand.
“Were not!” I snapped.
“Were too!” Kyungsoo barked back.
We glared at each other and pressed the power button again and again, but it was no use. There was a blackout.
“This . I don’t want to go home yet. My mum is gonna make me help her with Mijung’s diapers again,” with a sigh, I plopped onto the floor and poked at Kyungsoo’s dirty carpet. Gross. “You gotta help me!” As the eldest in a family of four girls, the thought of my baby sister’s dirty diapers was at the very top of my list of worries back then.
“Um…” Kyungsoo stared at me, at the TV, then out the window and back at me again; a large smile slowly spread across his chubby cheeks when an idea popped into his head. “Oh I know! There’s a park here right?”
My eyes lit up immediately at his suggestion, “yep!” I chirped.
“Let’s go then, I’ll go ask my dad to take us!” Kyungsoo didn’t even get to take a step before I stopped him.
“Wait! I have to ask my parents if I’m allowed first.”
“Hurry up then.”
“You have to come with me, I can’t cross the street by myself remember?”
“Right.”
We didn’t make it to the park that day. I slipped while running down his stairs and scraped my hands across the concrete. My jeans ripped and blood stained my favourite pokemon t-shirt. My first reaction was to burst into tears. He ran inside right away and I thought that he had abandoned me.
My cries grew louder. By the time he came back, my nose was already running. He was with his dad and they brought the first aid kit with them. He helped me up and smiled when my tears slowly came to a stop. I can’t recall how painful my scrapes were, but I remember the comfort I felt when he patted my head and told me that everything would be alright. He was only ten months older than me, but he became a hero in my eyes.
The first day back to school went well for me on the most part, but the first day at a new school was a memory that Kyungsoo still wishes to remove from his memory. Truthfully, I’m the one that should have been mortified of the events that went down, but I guess Kyungsoo could never live down how embarrassed he was at the fact that he couldn’t even stand up for himself when he didn’t do anything wrong.
I didn’t think much of Kyungsoo’s accent during our summer together since I was too caught up with just having fun and being friends with him, but I guess the other kids found it funny. Funny enough to pick on him for it. Kids can be s.
“Hey Kyungsoo, what was that again? H-herro, my name izh Kyungsoo? HAHAHA!”
A group of sixth graders surrounded Kyungsoo, laughing at him and pushing him around. I didn’t get why everybody was being so mean. Kyungsoo’s Busan dialect wasn’t that bad and it’s not like there’s anything wrong with being different. Kyungsoo has shown me pictures of his hometown too and it’s a pretty place. They were probably just jealous cause all we have in Seoul are tall buildings and loud cars. So, I was determined, but also really small. I wanted to help Kyungsoo, but I was a good ten-fifteen centimeters shorter than everybody else and I was pretty sure a few of the bigger boys could crush me.
I was moments away from being a stupid little coward and walking away when I made eye contact with Kyungsoo. He had tears in his eyes and his fists were clenched to the side. He looked just about ready to jump one of the boys poking him in the chest when a different bully pushed him down onto the floor. Kyungsoo told me he took Judo lessons back in Busan, so I knew he could probably get one or two of them back with a headlock and some kicking, but he’d be no match for any more than that. The last thing I wanted was for Kyungsoo to get in trouble. Or worse. Hurt.
Physically, I was of no help, so I did the only thing that I could think of. I screamed.
The kids in the playground all stared at me, some worried I got hurt and others running away cause like adults, even kids don’t want to deal with other crying kids. My screaming caused quite a commotion and soon a couple teachers were headed my way. I was actually crying by the time a supervisor arrived, sniffling and wiping my eyes as the tears started flowing on their own.
The supervisor kept asking me what was wrong, but I just shook my head. She then turned to ask the other students and they all shrugged. Nobody knew why I was crying. Well, nobody except for Kyungsoo. People were started to disperse when I felt his chubby fingers tug my forearms and pull me into a hug.
He rubbed my back and patted the back of my hair, just like he did when I hurt myself a couple weeks earlier. I heard him tell the teacher that I was probably scared cause some of the grade six boys were play fighting and I probably thought they were fighting for real. I wanted to stomp my feet and defend my honour, because no, I wasn’t scared and no, they weren’t play fighting, but I just kept my mouth shut because really, this wasn’t my battle to fight. It was Kyungsoo’s.
“You like the swings right? Let’s go to the swings before recess ends okay?”
How could I possible say no to that?
Soon, we were in our preteens and spent the next couple of years in secondary school together. I was ecstatic when I found out I could attend the same junior high as him. Unfortunately, he was in the grade above mine, so we were only able spend our lunches together.
During junior high, I discovered some new interests and didn’t have as much time to play videos games with him anymore. I joined the basketball team, sang for the school choir, and got myself a boyfriend. We were still as close as ever though. He cheered for me at a number of our home games, sat in the front row of my first recital, and provided me with tons of dating tips. He was there for me during the break up as well.
I remember throwing myself onto my bed and screaming into my pillow the moment I got home from school. I couldn’t concentrate on my homework, didn’t have the appetite for dinner, and refused to talk to my parents about my problems. I ended up texting the only person I could think of.
“hey, u busy?”
“no… y?”
“wanna meet up? hard to explain over txt. its important”
“:/ yeah sure i’ll be there in 10”
No other words were needed between the two of us. I told my parents I needed fresh air and headed out the doors moments later. He was already there, leaning against a giant oak tree by the time I arrived. Saying nothing, I pointed to the swings next to the tree and remained silent as I sat down. He didn’t press me for answers and he didn’t ask me why I wanted to meet up. He simply joined me on the swings and looked up at the stars as well, waiting until I was ready to talk.
“Ninth grade was supposed to be amazing. It’s only been a week and my life is already falling apart. What do I do now? He’s in all of my classes.” I sighed and ran my hands through my hair in frustration
“Show him that you’ll be fine without him.”
“But I’m not fine…” I looked down and started to trace shapes in the sand. “Do you think it’ll ever stop hurting?”
Kyungsoo hummed thoughtfully and nodded, “yeah.”
“How are you so sure?” Tears started to blur my vision, but I refused to let them fall.
“Well, I got over my ex didn’t I?”
“H-how long did that take?” It was hard to keep my voice steady as I spoke.
“Well, it’s hard to say. It just kind of happened. I don’t know how long it’ll take you, but it’ll happen. In the meantime, I’ll be here for you like how you were there for me.” I looked up at him and took in a shaky breath.
“I hate him.” My voice cracked as those words left my lips.
“I know…” He moved my bags out of my eyes and offered me a reassuring smile. The tears finally fell and he was there to catch every drop. He became the caring older brother I never had.
Like in junior high, I joined the basketball team and school choir in high school. I didn’t get myself a boyfriend this time around though. Which, was fine. I spent most of my free time hanging out with Kyungsoo and our small group of mutual friends anyway. People thought the two of us were an item, but we’d always just laugh it off. Kyungsoo and I dating? That’s ridiculous.
As the year went by though, I started to get annoyed at all the attention people kept giving Kyungsoo. For some reason, having a dialect was now something people found attractive. I was getting sick of all the people asking me about the type of chocolates and movies Kyungsoo liked. Like hell I’d tell them he likes hazelnut and almond dark chocolates, or that horror movies made him giddy. They can go figure that out on their own if they liked him so much.
It was near the end of tenth grade that things really started to change. For some reason, I began to take notice of his facial features. I found his oval face and soft jawline extremely attractive. I adored how below his thick eyebrows, sat large brown eyes that gave him an innocent and boyish look. I liked the way his jet black hair was often gelled up to reveal a narrow forehead. And I especially loved his heart shaped smile. The most important change though, was when I started to grow flustered whenever he jokingly threw his arms around my shoulders or poked my sides. A pink hue would emerge on my cheeks and I had to bite back the goofy smile that threatened to appear on my face.
He brought me as his “date” to his cousin’s semi-formal birthday party in eleventh grade. I lost my balance while walking in my four inch heels and felt my pulse race when he held my hands to keep me from falling. My heart was beating hard against my chest and was just about ready to leap out until I heard him call me his younger sister.
The conversations around me grew louder and the room started to spin. I was at a loss of what to do. I wanted to leave the party, but I couldn’t move my legs. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t find my voice. I wasn’t brave enough to walk away, and I wasn’t brave enough to correct him. Instead, I tried to laugh it off.
“Haha yeah, what are you even talking about? Kyungsoo is like a brother to me.”
“That's Kyungsoo oppa to you missy.” Kyungsoo pinched my cheeks and I swatted his hands away. Great. Just great.
“Nope.”
“Some little sister you are. Rude,” chuckling, Kyungsoo threw his arms around my shoulder and barely flinched when he realized I was wearing a strapless dress. I figured that I was probably still just a kid in his eyes.
I followed him around during the party and made friends with people that didn’t matter to me. I forged my smiles and laughed a little louder than usual. He was still holding my hands by the end of the night, but I pretended not to notice and refused to let go. We had a relationship that I was afraid to leave behind, a relationship that I detested yet adored at the same time.
Unexpectedly, he became an unrequited love.
Then came his graduation. I sat in the audience with his parents as I waited for the ceremony to end. I wasn’t expecting to hear that he'd be moving away for University, but I was used to hiding my emotions by then. I had a bouquet in my hands and congratulated him. He thanked me and that stupid heart shaped smile of his didn’t fail to appear. I was going to excuse myself when he pulled me into a hug like always and thanked me again while I was in his embrace. It probably meant nothing to Kyungsoo, but it meant the world to me.
That night, I went to bed with my chest heaving as a seemingly endless flow of tears rolled down my cheeks. I woke up to a text message from him the next morning and ignored it. I couldn’t let him see my puffy eyes and blotchy face. He mistook that as me being angry with him, and apologized profusely for telling me the news so late. He promised to make it up to me, so we spent our numbered days together as if he wasn’t going to leave me behind.
My apologies for taking so long to update! I hope you guys like the first chapter =)
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