Chapter Three: Suspended
pendulumMy senior year went by in a blur and before I knew it, I was the one wearing a graduation gown and Kyungsoo was the one sitting in the audience with flowers in his hands. It was odd. Talking to him over Skype and sending cheesy holiday cards to one another wasn’t much, but it felt as if he never left. We always told each other how our days went and confided in one another whenever a problem would arise. We didn’t want to grow apart. So, while he wasn’t present physically, he was there spiritually and his presence at my graduation had a smaller effect on me than I had expected. It made me realize that Kyungsoo’s role in my life was more than just a childhood friend I liked a little too much.
Kyungsoo had always played a big part in my life. Even though I had other friends and a large family to spend time with, he was always there. As we got older, he could have gone out with his friends, but he played video games with me at home or went to the park in our neighborhood with me instead. My parents were busy folks and needed me close to home at all times for when my help was required. It , but at least I wasn’t alone.
I can’t even begin to imagine how I would gotten by with honours in Junior High without his studying tips and shoulder to cry on during my stupid little break up. Heck, he even babysat with me when my younger siblings got of hand despite having his own little brother to take care of. Really...I think I may have depended on Kyungsoo and relied on him a little too much. I should have backed off and let him live his own life, but I don’t think I could have it any other way. Having to be the responsible one at home all the time was hard, but Kyungsoo made it bearable. He took some of the burden off my shoulders and made me feel like a normal kid.
Really, it was only natural that I waved like a dork at my doe-eyed best friend sitting in the audience while I walked across the stage to get my diploma. In hindsight, that was probably a stupid idea, but I always felt comfortable being myself with Kyungsoo around. With him, I had an older brother that could help me with life’s problems. I didn’t have to be the mature one. I didn’t have to make all the decisions. I trusted Kyungsoo to do it for me. In fact, I wanted him to do so because it never occurred to me that one day, he might not be there for me anymore. I guess that’s where I went wrong.
Two weeks after graduation, I found myself in the same position I was in the year before, head resting on Kyungsoo’s thighs and fingers tracing constellations.
“So, what happened with that cute guy you liked?” Kyungsoo ran his hands through my freshly dyed brown hair, but kept his gaze up at the night sky, “is there a pretty boy out there who needs his face broken by me?”
“No, no faces need to be broken,” I found the northern star before I continued to speak, “I didn’t confess. I chickened out, but whatever. It doesn’t matter.”
Kyungsoo was frowning, I just knew it. I didn’t need to look at him to know.
“Are you sure? I think you should give it a try, any decent guy out there would love to date you.”
It was so hard to hold my tongue. You wouldn’t love to date me Kyungsoo, that’s why. Imagine if I had told him that.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I got up from his lap and faced him, “how about you? What happened to that beautiful girl with the carefree spirit hmm?” I wanted to hurl just thinking about Kyungsoo dating someone.
Kyungsoo flushed and stuttered, “u-uh… nothing.”
“You thought I forgot about what you told me didn’t you?” I squinted my eyes and smirked, “well too bad cause I don’t forget anything mister.”
“N-no, I just… yeah… nothing happened and nothing will ever develop between us.”
“Why?” Truthfully, I wanted to drop the topic, but I also wanted to know if he plans to finally confess to that girl he likes so much.
“Just cause.”
“Hmph,” I folded my arms and feigned an angry expression, “fine, don’t tell me anything… Some best friend you are.”
“Minyoung.”
Smiling, I flicked Kyungsoo on the forehead then got back to resting on his thighs. Staring at his face too long back then did too many things to my fragile heart.
“I was just kidding Soo, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime,” I wave him off then change the topic, “so, how’d your finals go?”
“They were brutal.”
“When are you coming back to visit next?” I sniffed and held back my tears as we walked through the airport’s automated doors. Kyungsoo’s mother was already sobbing while his younger brother, Junsoo, was patting her back in an attempt to comfort the poor woman.
“Mmm… Hopefully over winter break,” Kyungsoo took his luggage from his father and sighed when he realized his mother was once again in state of distress, “Mom, did you hear that? I just told Minyoung I should be back winter break.”
Four pairs of eyes turned to face Kyungsoo’s mother, hoping Kyungsoo’s words would stop her tears, but they didn’t. She walked over to Kyungsoo and hugged him tight. She didn’t want to let go.
“Oh my baby is going to be all by himself again. Don’t forget to eat your meals on time and don’t study too hard okay?”
“Mooom, it’s not like I actually live by myself. I survived with one roommate last year, and I’ll be getting an extra one this year. That’s plenty of people to keep me company,” Kyungsoo returned his mother’s hug and patted her back the same way Junsoo had done just moments before. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Honey, let our son go before he misses his flight.”
Reluctantly, Kyungsoo’s mother removed herself from her eldest son’s embrace and returned to the younger. Junsoo shook his head at how dramatic his mother was being and gave his older brother a quick wave goodbye.
“See ya tomorrow night on league?”
Chuckling, Kyungsoo nodded and replied light heartedly, “yeah, it’s not like I’ll have anything better to do until classes start next week anyway.”
Kyungsoo’s father stepped up next and gave him a quick hug, “see you in a few months then I guess.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you in a couple months dad. Make sure you take care of mom okay? She lost a lot of weight compared to the last time I saw her.”
“Of course, she just missed you too much, that’s all. She’s getting used to it now. You just worry about yourself and your studies.”
Kyungsoo exchanged a couple more words with his father, hugged his mother again, and joked around with his brother one last time before turning to face me. I had always been comfortable around his family, but for some reason, I felt like I was intruding on their moment.
“What are you doing over there by yourself Minyoung?”
“Huh?”
“Get over here,” Kyungsoo beckoned me over and pulled me into a bone crushing hug, “have fun in Uni, you’ll like it better than High School.”
“I doubt it…” My hands had a mind of their own, fiddling with the hem of my sleeves.
“Why?” Kyungsoo’s features were marred with concern and I didn’t like the look on his face.
I frowned and shrugged my shoulders, “just cause.”
“Cause what?”
“Cause…” I felt like a child, a pout on my face, a whine in my voice and everything, “you were there in High School and it’ll be just me in Uni.”
“You’ll make new friends, I mean you survived your last year without me.”
“That’s cause I had Jongin and Soojung to keep me company. They’re both taking a year off…”
“Like I said, you’ll make new friends,” Kyungsoo gave me a reassuring smile ruffled my hair like always, “you’ll be fine.”
“I guess.”
“I’m gonna miss you Minyoung.”
“I’ll miss you too…”
I already do.
My apologies for taking so long to update! I hope you guys like the first chapter =)
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