He was panicking.
His thoughts were only blurs as he didn’t want to think.

Jiyong knew he didn’t need the memory within his head. He had muscle memory. He had to know how to get there without thinking like he knew the drive home from YG like the back of his hand. Maybe he just forgot – Ara wouldn’t wipe his memory. She wouldn’t do that. It was just a fluke. All those sleepless nights, beers, and cigarettes were just getting to him, that’s all. That had to be all. He knew how to get there. He was there almost every day for a month for God’s sake. He knew how to get there. If he just headed into the forest like he usually did, his legs would take him there. He’s done it before. He would walk in aware of his surroundings, and then when his mind wandered off, he still found himself in front of the pond with Ara waiting for him.

So why had he been running around the forest for almost an hour, totally lost?
If he kept going, he would start to remember, wouldn’t he?

But he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, really. He was desperately trying to figure out why the hell Ara would do this to him. She would have wiped it all at once to soften the blow, why had she only taken the corner pieces of the puzzle? Why was she just scraping the edges of his memory and leave him to realize it was gone? Why couldn’t she take another memory away? Why was it just how to get to the pond? Maybe she just took this memory away to see if he could find his way there on his own like he had when he first did. Maybe she was just doing this so when he finally found his way there, she would be waiting by the pond as a reward for his hard work.

But he just couldn’t ing find that pond. Every spot he stopped to look around, it all looked the same. Was he walking in circles? Jiyong looked over both his shoulders, his breathing heavy from the hour he was just running wherever his feet took him. The rain continued to beat down on his shoulder, and as if Jiyong surrendered, he began to crouch down as the water cascaded down. He collapsed beside a large oak tree, covering his face with his hands as his breathing slowly went shaky.

And with the rain, his tears finally fell, feeling lost without her.

Maybe half an hour passed as somehow Jiyong found his way back to his grandparents’ home, his eyes red and swollen. The rain was beginning to clear up as he stepped into the home, totally exhausted. He dragged his feet into the guest bathroom and cleaned up. Suddenly the deafening silence felt like his only comfort and the wind blowing through the trees made his stomach turn. As soon as he finished his shower, Jiyong collapsed into the bed, staring out the window as he stared at the forest, wondering if he could remember his way back if he looked for it from this point of view. But instead, he fell asleep, making sure he remembered what Ara looked like before letting himself go to fatigue.

Had he ever brought Ara to the house?

Jiyong looked around his grandparents’ home, wondering if he had ever shown Ara this place. She wasn’t allowed to leave the forest, right? He sighed as he sat on the couch, wondering if Ara would ever have the chance to sleep in a warm home. Suddenly Youngbae’s voice rung in his ear, Jiyong forgetting he was on the phone with him, “I can’t believe how packed our schedule is this year. And we still have to make our comeback. Can you imagine how many more schedules we’re going to have?” Jiyong wondered if Ara would enjoy dinner and a movie night. She was always cold; maybe they wo