Yoongi tossed and turned as he thought about what had happened during the day. He regretted napping earlier as now his mind was wide awake and replaying every detail in his head, and how he could have done everything so much better.

Don't misunderstand, he was glad that now he was out, but at the same time his stomach was still tied into knots as he thought about the consequences and this was just the beginning. This was d-day.

Yoongi sighed as he sat up and surveyed the dark room. He could hear the gentle snores of Seokjin as he rose. Yoongi envied Seokjin as he cursed his horrible sleeping patterns as he made his way to the toilet, simply because it was something to do instead of just thinking about life and how depressing it can be.

He covered his eyes as he turned the bathroom lights on, grimacing at the brightness. Yoongi had always preferred darker lights and mellow tones, which became ironic seeing as he was an idol surrounded by stage lights and bright camera flashes.

Yoongi done his business and went to go wash his hands. It was then that he took a moment to day dream and study his face in the mirror. His face was quite red and swollen, from sleep or the crying he done earlier he wasn't sure. He could also see the tell tale signs of a break out as he felt his cheeks. Yoongi had a terrible habit of squeezing his spots, which just made things much worse and also got him into a lot of trouble with Minsun and the other make-up artists.

He owed a lot to Minsun, she had always been there whenever he needed her help. She had known about him pretty much from the start, she called it her gaydar but Yoongi called it her being a stalker and reading his messages over his shoulder. Thankfully though when Minsun cornered Yoongi to talk about it she also came clean about her uality and they ended up being each others gay best friends.

It was still dazzling to remember that he held pretty much no secrets with the world any more, of course he still had many secrets but he had released the biggest one of all. He wondered what 18 year old depressed Yoongi would think of him now, when everything was so bleak and it looked like the only way out for him would be suicide because he would never truly be able to be himself. But now he was out and he was... happy. Yeah, he's happy, or at least he was.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts as he shook his head and moved to the door, after all he had finished what must have been 15 minutes ago and had just spent the rest of the time thinking. When he opened the door, he found a sleepy Hoseok, wiping away the sleepy dust from his eyes. Of course he was also only dressed in his boxers as Hoseok was a strong believer in sleeping in bare minimum.

“Oh, Yoongi. Can't sleep?” Hoseok asked as Yoongi shook his head. Hoseok let out a small sigh as he moved to let the elder past. “Wait in the living room for me and I'll keep you company.” Yoongi shook his head as rejected the thought of keeping the younger up, he wasn't a night owl like Yoongi, he knew that Hoseok would suffer in the morning if he stayed up. Yoongi was just used to running on as little sleep as possible.

“You don't have to, I know you turn into a monster with no sleep,” Yoongi let out a small chuckle, as Hoseok entered the bathroom, but left the door slightly open as Yoongi leaned on the frame, facing away of course (thought not like he hadn't seen it all before).

“Don't be silly! Go wait in the living room, I'll make us some tea.” Yoongi sighed as he realised that Hoseok had his mind set. Yoongi gave in and let Hoseok know he was moving as he made his way into the dark living room, turning one of the lamps on and then laying down across the couch, stretching his muscles before settling. Yoongi let out a deep breath as he relaxed into the setting, the lamp supplying the perfect amount of light as it wasn't too bright or too dark, creating the perfect amount of dull light.

He roughly heard Hoseok walk from the toilet to the kitchen as he heard the kettle start to boil. It was moments later that Yoongi swung his legs off the couch to let Hoseok sit down and place the still steaming cups of tea onto the coffee table. Hoseok gave Yoongi a small smile as he turned his body to face Yoongi more. Yoongi was also glad to notice that Hoseok had thrown on a dressing gown.

“Right, honestly. How are you feeling right now.” Hoseok's voice was so sincere and Yoongi knew that Hoseok was being serious. Yoongi returned the small smile, even though it seemed a bit hard to even manage that.

“I'm not horrible, that's something. I'm just finding it strange right now, you know? I'm in this weird limbo right now where anything can happen and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I feel bad because well, I'm pretty much done for, but at the same time I feel so grateful and relieved to have even the opportunity to let everyone know who I am, even if it wasn't on my own terms.” Yoongi tried to express himself the best he could. All of his thoughts were a jumbled mess, and trying to express them to Hoseok was hard, because he simply just didn't understand.

“Sometimes... I wish I was... Normal,” Yoongi looked down at his nails, picking the dirt out from under his nails absent-mindedly. He looked up to see Hoseok's blank face, which he knew wasn't a good sign from his friend. There was a slight frown which was making his lips curl downwards. “I mean, not normal. I am normal, but just... Everything would be so much simpler if I was just straight, and I’ve had people say to me before that I have it easy because I can pass as straight because I still like women. But if I do that then I’m lying to myself and I end up feeling horrible because it feels so wrong.” Yoongi took a quick sip of his tea, burning his tongue on the still scalding drink, but ignoring it as he continued to rant.

“I don't even know what I’m saying any more to be honest. Life would be so much simpler if I could be straight, and how ed up is that! I have to wish and pray to be someone I’m not to fit in. I have to pretend to be someone I'm not so that I can sleep at night. I have to be someone else so that I don't get ing murdered in the street or in clubs for who I am. How ed up is that, that I and so many other people in Korea and- - even the world can't be who we truly are.” Yoongi pressed his hands to his eyes as he got more worked up and tears began to pool in his eyes, threatening to fall again.

There was a quiet hushing noise as Hoseok wrapped an arm around the elder, pulling him in close and letting Yoongi rest his head on his chest as he ran his hands soothingly over his back. Yoongi let out a sigh as he rubbed at his eyes, bitterly trying to stop any tears from falling.

“You're so strong, Hyung. Amazingly strong, more than I think you know. Just know that the world can be wrong, it always has been and as sad as it is, it will probably stay that way for a long while, but do you know what makes the world just?” Hoseok tilted Yoongi's head up, making him look at Hoseok. “People like you. People that are unashamed in everything they do. They are proud and strong and just the best people in the world. That's me and you, and the rest of the boys. This world will never change if there aren't any people willing to take the risk. You're just the first to take the risk, and I guarantee you won't be the last.” Hoseok let out a small laugh as he ruffled the elders hair. “You're making history, hyung. The world will respond and I believe there's a lot of good in the world to be on your side.” Hoseok smiled. Yoongi grinned back up at him before leaning his head on his friend's shoulder, Hoseok leaning his head to rest on Yoongi's fluffy hair.

“You should become a motivational speaker or something, you always know what to say.” Yoongi huffed as he held the younger's hand in his own. Hoseok grinned and intertwined their fingers.

“Really? I was just rambling, I was actually good?” Hoseok laughed as Yoongi couldn't help but chuckle along with.

“I don't know, I’m that tired and you could just tell me anything and I'd probably smile and nod.” Yoongi let out a laugh as he demonstrated. Hoseok grinned too and squeezed his hand.

“Ah, what even is that face, Hyung!” Hoseok shook his head as they quietened down to small sighs and smiles into the distance as they stared at the TV which was still turned off. Hoseok leaned over grabbing his tea and taking small sips and sighs.

“Lovely and sweet, just like me.” Hoseok said as he raised his cup slightly, a cheers to no one. Yoongi let out a grunt.

“Excuse you, I'm the one here called Suga.” Yoongi smirked as he took a sip of his now thankfully cooler tea. They relapsed into silence again, Yoongi shutting his eyes and enjoying the warmth and rhythmical up and down of Hoseok's shoulder as he breathed.

“We should go to bed now, before you pass out on the couch.” Hoseok started to stand, pulling Yoongi up with him. They left their cups on the table, a problem for tomorrow that no doubt Seokjin would scold them for.

“My bed or yours?” Yoongi asked, as he finally stood, feeling slightly light-headed with how suddenly sleepy he was. Hoseok let out a hum of thought before deciding.

“Mine's is bigger, so mine.” Yoongi nodded his head as they moved to the bedroom, falling into each other as they slumped onto the bed and under the covers. Hoseok took the nightgown off, throwing it roughly somewhere onto the floor. He could feel Hoseok shuffling down the bed and moving his arm to locate Yoongi, pulling him closer so that Yoongi was using Hoseok as a pillow and Yoongi threw his arm over Hoseok's chest, treating him like a large teddy bear.

“Good night, Hoseok. Thank you so much.” Yoongi mumbled into Hoseok's chest. Hoseok knew what Yoongi was thanking him for. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for listening. Thank you for loving me.

“You're welcome, Yoongi. Any time. Good night.” Hoseok placed a light peck onto Yoongi's head as the two closed their eyes and started to drift off to sleep.

*

“Has anyone seen Yoongi? He wasn't in bed when I woke up, and I can't find him anywhere, and oh my god what if he's ran away or something!” Yoongi was roughly woken up by the sound of Seokjin's frantic voice. Yoongi groaned and burrowed himself further into the still sleeping Hoseok, enjoying the warmth that the tanned boy gave off. Yoongi smiled as he thought it was so fitting that to the fans, Hoseok was their sunshine. He was warm – in both personality and body temperature – and he lit up the room in a matter of seconds with his smile (not to mention, his beautiful sun kissed skin).

“No, have you checked everywhere?” He heard Namjoon's muffled voice from outside the door. Seconds later the door opened and Yoongi was happy he was under the covers, as he could hear them turning the light on and the slight light coming from the opening of the covers. Hoseok stirred as he moved his arms to rub his eyes, jostling Yoongi and making a rush of cold air get to Yoongi making him shiver. He pouted and tried to burrow in more, not realising that Hoseok's arm had been wrapped around him, hand resting on the small of his back, until he had moved.

“Hyung, He isn't in there, it's just Hoseok sleeping.” Jimin added as he could be heard moving around the room, probably getting ready for schedule, something that Yoongi didn't need to worry about anymore.

“Hoseok, have you seen Yoongi anywhere? Before I have to call Manager.” Namjoon asked the still sleepy Hoseok. Hoseok nodded his head and pulled the covers back, making Yoongi moan and try and grab for the covers without looking as he scrunched his eyes up from the sudden bright lights.

“Oh... there he is. Can I ask, why he's in your bed?” Seokjin asked as he tried to hide a laugh at the blind Yoongi, taking a tantrum as he pulled the covers back over his head. Hoseok sat up fully now, the covers pooling at his waist.

“We both couldn't sleep last night so we had a little chat, then we went to bed.” Hoseok shrugged. Seokjin and Namjoon both just nodded and accepted that answer, but Yoongi now opening his eyes could tell Jimin was tense.

“But why are you guys sleeping together?” Jimin voiced, as he stopped moving around the room. Hoseok shrugged and pushed the covers away to get up, Yoongi giving up and letting Hoseok go as he popped his head out from under the covers.

“Because. We both couldn't sleep and we could do with some cuddles.” Hoseok answered without batting an eyelash as he started to throw clothes on. Yoongi nodded from the bed, noticing that Jimin wasn't making eye contact with him at all.

“It doesn't really matter anyway, Jimin. Now hurry up and get ready, Manager is coming in half an hour to take us to our schedule. And we've got a big day ahead of us.” Namjoon hurried them all to get ready before leaving the room. Yoongi sighed as he flopped back onto the bed. Of course he had to stay and do nothing, and usually Yoongi would love to do nothing but lie in bed on his phone, but this was different. He didn't have anyone to talk to, and as much as he liked his space he loved the company of others. Even if they weren't talking and they were simply in the room with him, it made him feel more comfortable and able to relax, knowing that someone was there with him.

Everyone left the room, but Jimin who was still throwing his clothes on, back facing Yoongi.

“Jimin, Can you do me a big favour?” Yoongi asked, after a few moment of silence. Jimin turned his head to look at Yoongi, but didn't turn himself fully.

“Depends, what's up?” Jimin finished putting his top and jumper on as he turned to Yoongi.

“Don't see me any different. Nothing has changed between us, just so you know. Just because you know doesn't mean I'm suddenly in love with you.” Yoongi stared him down, the words didn't sound quite right coming from Yoongi. Yoongi did in fact like Jimin, but of course he would keep that with him, especially after seeing how Jimin was taking it all.

“What? Oh sorry, I really don't mean to like... ignore you or anything hyung. Sorry.” Jimin flushed as he stumbled over his words. Yoongi understood though.

“You weren't ignoring me, I just want you to know that I'm still me, you're still you.” Yoongi explained. Jimin nodded his head, his face turning red as he made an excuse to leave the room. Yoongi sighed as he was left alone in the room.

He lay back down onto the bed, feeling the bedside table for his phone before groaning as he remembered that this wasn't his bed and his phone was still in his room. He threw the covers off his body, frowning as he rubbed at the goosebumps on his arms from the cold air. He made his way into the living room where everyone sitting at the table eating breakfast, already fully clothed.

“There's food in the fridge if you want some. I wasn't sure if you were going to sleep some more, but I made some for you anyway.” Seokjin explained as he continued to eat. Yoongi nodded his head as he studied the six men who were stuffing their faces. It was strange, he felt hurt slightly knowing that they could adjust so easily as if he wasn't there. Of course he knew they didn't mean it, they never would, but it was just how his mind worked.

“Thanks, but I'm just going into my bed now. I'll see you guys when you get back.” Yoongi waved as he made his way into his bedroom and lying back down onto his bed, grabbing his phone.

Checking the time it was still far too early considering Yoongi could have slept in. it was just passing quarter past six, which would explain why it was still so dull outside. He opened up his phone, checking and replying to messages he'd been sent since the night before as he still hadn't been able to open them all. He checked twitter, he was still trending but he had dropped down from number 1 to number 6 which was something.

Yoongi stared at the hashtag, not fully understanding the hashtag at number 1, but decided to click on it anyway as he could see his name in the hashtag. Thankfully there was still a lot of Korean posts between the international ones, and they had translated the hashtag for him.

“Justice for Suga. Proud of Suga,” Yoongi smiled to himself as he read all the tweets and support for him, of course there was hate in between the love but that was expected. He wished he was allowed to post something to thank the fans and let them know that he had seen their kind words, but they had all been banned from posting on the twitter until further notice. He glanced at the time, noticing that a full hour had passed since he had started searching.

He sighed as he put his phone down, letting himself sleep a little more before the daunting afternoon.

*

Yoongi woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the front door. Yoongi groaned as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and stumbled out of the bed, wondering who the hell was at the door if all the members were out and managers away also.

He grabbed his phone with him as he clutched it to his chest, just in case somehow a fan had discovered the apartment and had put two and two together, knowing that only Yoongi would be home.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could to the door, so that if anyone was behind the door they wouldn't be able to hear him. He almost jumped out of his skin as the door went again, making Yoongi curse and drop his phone. He picked it up again and looked through the peep hole, letting out a quiet 'what the ' as he threw open the door.

“I think we need to talk...”

“Joonsoo?”