V

I was reading articles about that incident in Monsu's computer and I can see the different stories made or invented by sites and writers, I was reading it all and it was still fresh in my mind, making it hurt. "Jei, breathe." I say everytime It feels like my chest is heavy and my brain will start to replay by its own. This is my first step, to accept.

It was like eleven o'clock that night when l felt a human presence. "Jei." I looked and saw Monsu, "Come with me." he said, I stood up and followed him. We ended up in a black wall, since his house consists of black and white walls, I wonder what part of the house we're already are, but sure his house is big, just like ours though.

He placed his palm on the wall and I heard an opening sound inside, I flinched a bit then suddenly the wall was cut in half and it slid open. Woah. I was openmouthed staring at it, "Spy movies." There was a long walkway with glass walls. I followed him inside. He went into a room, the room was walled with mirrors and all kinds of training stuff, It was like a advanced fitness gym. "I wasn't planning to, but I have to atleast teach you how to defend yourself." he said. Now that I thought of it, I'm weak and defenseless, and this guy just saved my life for how many times.

"Well, that'll be fun I think." I answered. "Are you tired?" he asked. I shook my head."I didn't do anything today, I just sat there all day."

"Then, let's start." he said, I felt hesitant for a minute since I never 'fought' or I never actually imagined myself will fist fight with anyone ever in my life, but its better prepared, I know that from now on, there are more things I have to learn, and my life's starting to get serious.

Monsu and I were eating the pancakes for breakfast. I admit he's really a good cook, I imagine he could be a bachelor one day, if he'll stay his life being single and introvert like this, but I guess that wouldn't be possible because of his high quality looks.

"Why are you staring at me." I heard him say which made brought me back to my senses. "I'm not." I denied and took a slice to my mouth, I heard him chuckle. "So." he spoke and I looked at him.

"So, how do you plan to revenge?" he continued. Now that I thought about it, "I- I actually, have no idea." after saying that, I kind of want to laugh at myself for acting so brave the other night, and felt sad for having nothing in mind. I thought he was going to laugh but he didn't.

I was reading articles about that incident in Monsu's computer and I can see the different stories made or invented by sites and writers, I was reading it all and it was still fresh in my mind, making it hurt. "Jei, breathe." I say everytime It feels like my chest is heavy and my brain will start to replay by its own. This is my first step, to accept.

It was like eleven o'clock that night when l felt a human presence. "Jei." I looked and saw Monsu, "Come with me." he said, I stood up and followed him. We ended up in a black wall, since his house consists of black and white walls, I wonder what part of the house we're already are, but sure his house is big, just like ours though.

He placed his palm on the wall and I heard an opening sound inside, I flinched a bit then suddenly the wall was cut in half and it slid open. Woah. I was openmouthed staring at it, "Spy movies." There was a long walkway with glass walls. I followed him inside. He went into a room, the room was walled with mirrors and all kinds of training stuff, It was like a advanced fitness gym. "I wasn't planning to, but I have to atleast teach you how to defend yourself." he said. Now that I thought of it, I'm weak and defenseless, and this guy just saved my life for how many times.

"Well, that'll be fun I think." I answered. "Are you tired?" he asked. I shook my head."I didn't do anything today, I just sat there all day."

"Then, let's start." he said, I felt hesitant for a minute since I never 'fought' or I never actually imagined myself will fist fight with anyone ever in my life, but its better prepared, I know that from now on, there are more things I have to learn, and my life's starting to get serious.

"It's not going to be easy I know that." I said. "but if you did it, its going to be worth it." He answered and smiled, His smile was genuine, reassuring and beautiful. I feel like my cheeks are warming, and unaware of its shade right now. "First, you're identity should be hidden." Monsu suddenly spoke to cut the awkwardness forming between us. "so it means, its just you and me to figure it all out." he added, like you and me against the world, then I thought about Sungyeol, the only person I know right now, I felt worried that I can't see him, but I have to do this. When life gets tough, it will get tougher.

Monsu told me every detail of what to do, He's the kind of guy I often see in movies, an undercover agent, skillful and smart, good in fighting, good in everything, but that's what I see outside, a shallow view of who he really is, nothing deep, nothing inside, for me he's like a safe I couldn't crack, just a shadow, not the real thing.

He asked me questions about my family, if we have family quarrels with others, or enemies, but I don't remember anything like that, My parents were kind, humble and helpful to others, I remember one time when my mother told me that he loves people, and he hates people who hurt other people. There was no way they can have enemies. "But in business matters, I have no idea." I said. I gave it a shot to ask him back. "How about you? Why are you leaving alone?" I realized it was a brief question that requires a long answer. He's hesitating, he doesn't want to answer. He wasn't looking at me this time, he stood up, already done eating. I wasn't expecting for an answer but he did. "I'm living alone, and I'm used to it. That's where life brought me." He used the word 'life' in a different matter, his answer was too short, there was no meaning behind it, leaving me hanging again.

He was about to leave, but I have to ask him again. "Are you happy?" loud enough for him to stop. His back was facing mine. For a couple of seconds I waited, if he will give me better answer now. His head turned and in that moment I'm sure that it was the most radiant smile I ever laid eyes on, he was smiling. Smiling. At me.

"Yes."he said and headed upstairs. I'm pretty sure living alone, and this Life Monsu has doesn't make him happy, there is something different, the real source of that happiness.

Why do I feel this strange and eager feeling to know more about you. Who are you really Monsu?

I will find out, more of him.