" ."

That was the only way Jungkook could express himself. He had prepared for what was coming but this? He never would have thought it was this bad.

You couldn't say Supercute123 was a liar though. She told the truth,

But her ways of describing would give anyone the wrong idea.

"Well, I'm 168cm."

That wasn't a lie. She was around that height, with high heels. Super tall 5 inch heels, then yeah, she was 168cm

"Curves."

Oh hell she had curves, alright. They were sticking out, so prominent, so…big. How did she fit through the door with those curves?

"Pale."

I bet you, 5 dollars, no, my dam car that she bathes herself in potato and milk. She was so white, that it was unrealistic. She looked like a ghost.

“Long hair.”

Do you see what I see? I see hair extensions! Seriously, if she was going to wear those, at least by hair with the same shade, not black with blonde.

"Pretty face."

 Jeon Jungkook was a kind hearted man, he wouldn't judge. He followed his motto, "Don't judge a book by its cover because somewhere hidden is a story to tell."

But let's say this was an exception. No, he wouldn't dare. Jungkook was way too kind hearted. But let's just put this through another, a stranger's eyes.

Oh My Lord, that makeup. What is she trying to hide under that thick layer of foundation? And that eye shadow. It's…horrific. I guess she was trying to smudge it to give her the 'y' look but she overdid it this time. She really overdid it. Those black, smoky eyes we dream of turned to nightmares. Seriously. It was that bad. I would even guess she was a fighter with a huge blue black over her eyes. Her lipstick could kill, was she going for the square lip look? If she did, she worked it pretty well. Did it stop there? No.

What the BEEP was she wearing?! What is this? Is she going to the club? What am I talking about? Let me correct that. Was she going to the dump? It just didn't…suit her. That black, y, hot short dress was beautiful but what had she done to it?! She stretched such fine work! Her rolls of fat gouged out and it just made me want to vomit. And those heels? Who's she trying to be? The Eifel Tower? It was mortifying.

When she came running into the cafe, all eyes were on her. You should have seen Jungkook's face when he first landed eyes on her. She was just so big. It made him feel like a stick.

"Hi there cute cheeks," she said in a very, disgusting, tone while attempting to squeeze Jungkook's pure cheeks.

But she couldn't. She couldn't reach over the dam table. She awkwardly coughed and interlocked her hands, placed on the table.

"So…what's your name?" Jungkook couldn't think of any other way to start a 'date.' *cough* There was an elder in front of him, trying to flirt with him, so what was he expected to say without sounding so rude?

"Oh darling, just call me noona, k?" 'Noona?' She was old enough to be his mother! 'Ahjumma' suited her more.

'Noona' pursed her lips together resembling a blowfish as she blew a kiss over to him. Jungkook wanted to choke and die. That smell, that mortifying smell coming from could kill.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" She said in a seductive tone. Or at least he thought she tried. Maybe she purposely wanted to sound like dying hog.

"M-my name is Jungkook, n-noon-" he couldn't even bring it out to call her such a name. Before he even finished his sentence, he cut it off with a light cough.

The poor little boy was trembling in fear.

"That’s the cutest name, pipsqueak!" 

Stop. Stop with the names. The were disturbing.

"Give your noona a greeting kiss," the ahjumma grimly smiled, her fat lips opening to show yellow, crooked teeth. She leaned in closer, as far se could across the table, glistening her pore blocked, disgusting, moulded cheek. 

He couldn't do it. But he had to do it. His instinct of being kind to elders kicked in. That Hoseok was going to die today. Or maybe he would die first and haunt Hoseok in his sleep.

"Hurry, hurry! Noona can't wait!" She squealed, in a low pitched, phlegm filled voice. 

Swallowing a gulp of saliva, Jungkook moved closer, with closed eyes, shivering body and 'kiss' lips. Oh boy, dig him a grave today. Give his money to his Appa and Omma, send his toys and figurines to charity. It was Doom's day. 

And he felt it, his lips were in contact with a hard surface. Oh . Jungkook turned pale white, about to scream as he widened his now open eyes, only to realize he was saved.

"Hello, what would you like to order?" The waiter asked with a false friendly smile, as he held a click board in between Jungkook and the witch. 

He found his hero. Jungkook found an angel. Now he was going to follow this man for life.

Ahjumma growled at the man, disappointed as she roughly took the table's menu, scanning it with annoyed eyes. Anyone would feel dissatisfaction if they missed a chance to pursue Jeon Jungkook's heavenly lips. I mean, just look at the cute boy! Perfect face portion, thin but muscular body, light, fluffy hair and young. The dream of e witches.

"2 of the house's most bitter espresso," she said, winking at Jungkook. Oh my gosh, did the cafe wound open it's windows? He felt like he was in a chilled ice igloo.

The man took down her words. "And you, young lad?" The waiter eyed Jungkook. Even a stranger sitting 10 meters away could receive Jungkook's face sign and a man standing half a meter away? He could tell immediately how desperate Jungkook was for help.

"No, no, no! I've already ordered a coffee for him, you stupid waiter," ahjumma waved her hand in front of his face, telling him off in a rude, mocking tone. Oh Sugar Honey Ice Tea. Jungkook gulped as he watched the man grow mad. Veins protruding out of his skin, clenched fist and a bitten lip, adding a pair of non-essential shaded glasses and a black backwards facing hat with the inscription, 'S|-|1T.' 'Gangster!' His aura screamed.

"Well fat witch," he began his insult, "I apologise as a worker but I request you refrain yourself from harassing younger kids. You are scaring off our valued customers so if you continue this act, I will kick you out." 

Oh ho. Owned! With a terribly fake actor's smirk, he walked calmly away behind the counter to make the coffees. Ahjumma was stricken frozen, her inhaling and exhaling increasing in speed. She was a fan disgorging a feet smell. With a menacing look, she glared at the coffee machine, attempting to create laser beams that went through opaque objects. But of course, physics hated stuff like this. Jungkook could only watch, petrified. But he too froze when she stopped heavily breathing and slowly turn to face him, displaying the most cringe-worthy look.

OMG. It was horrifying. (Please be aware if you are afraid to see what might look like a witch with a scary, grimly face then do not click the link and I apologize if this photo offends you)

"What the f**k is this?!" A random voice yelled from the front door of the restaurant. Jungkook snapped out of his daze, only to see his so called best, going to be dead, friend pointing a finger with widened eyes at ahjumma. He could guess that Hoseok was out to spy on the pair, admiring his work of art to make fun of Jungkook at home, but instead witnessed to see a hog, all based on his attire. You wouldn't usually see any person wearing a full black suit, thick scarf around the bottom half of his face, a trench coat, wide lens sunglasses and a black beanie in Korean Spring. It was cold but not to that extreme.

"What?" The ahjumma asked with her low pitch voice, staring at the new intruder. Hoseok, with a unreadable 4D (:D) face jumped forward to get a closer look at the animal.

"Y-you're not Supercute123! You…you're Superugly321!" He exclaimed, earning chuckles from the other customers. The waiter, Jungkook's saviour, roared out a round of laughter, bending down, hitting his knee as he laughed. Ahjumma with an embarrassed, red tomato face, stood up.

"I've had enough of this crap!" She yelped stomping out the door, leaving Jungkook with relief. He abruptly jumped up as well, hugging his best friend.

"You…you have saved me." It was such an emotional moment. Totally an emotional moment until the point Jungkook clicked and punched Hoseok's face making him fly away with agonizing complaints but only got hit again and again instead of being helped leaving him battered and bruised as Jungkook lashed out his anger because of the stupid boy who was the sole reason he got into this bull crap and suffered so long with a fat ugly witch. 

Jungkook walked up to the amused waiter, who was still staring at Hoseok's dead body, lying in the cafe's bin.

"You have saved me," he repeated the line. Jungkook then grovelled until his forehead touched the ground, as if he were praising the lord.

"Oh, don't you go punching me and disposing me after doing this," the waitress moved back, posing a defence move. Jungkook got up from his position, flicking the dirt of his brown pants.

"Why in the world would I do that?! I wouldn't punch someone and put them in the bin, that's too cruel!”

Ha. Innocent Jungkook. Jung Hoseok was an exception. You know what? Jung Hoseok was an exception to every abusive, violent, rude, cruel, offensive act in the world inflicted by Jungkook.

"Ok then," the waitress shrugged it off. 

“How, just how can I repay you for your kindness?” Jungkook grasped the male’s hand, making the waiter’s eyes widen.

“No, no, no, I just wanted to stop a lunatic from harassing a young man like yourself,” the saviour shook his hands off, but seemingly failed as Jungkook only held tighter.

“I insist!” He yelled, staring deep into his life hero’s soul. (That sounded kind of gay.)

“Well, if you really insist,” he gulped down his saliva, “Mind giving me a place to rest for a night? I may or may not have been kicked out of my apartment.” Jungkook’s eyes shone. A new housemate? That sounded amazing.

“You can live in my apartment for as long as you like! You see, I too have a problem. The housemate sharing with seems to have moved out of his room, starting today so I need company and someone to help me pay rent…if you can,” Jungkook sheepishly rubbed his back, staring at the ground. The waiter’s eyes glisten at the same time. Really? How lucky he was! He saved the right person.

“Thanks! Call me Namjoon."

AUTHOR'S NOTES

I LOVE YOU RAP MON!! YOU'RE SUCH A NICE PERSON!

Love ya!

   Exoinspire xoxo