T I T L E :
FEARLESS
A U T H O R :
EMILIEEE AND ILIKESTARS

D E S C R I P I T O N :

After her parents’ unexpected fatality in a car crash, Han Iseul lived her life in what ifs, putting extra caution and care into every turn. To her, life was a fragile thing, and it was to be treated as such.

After his parents’ unexpected fatality in a car crash, Byun Baekhyun lived in the moment — he didn't care about tomorrow, never took responsibility for his past actions. It was only now that mattered to him. He acted on impulse; regret wasn't in his vocabulary. He didn’t want it to be.

So when seeing Baekhyun, drunk, risk his life in a ridiculous dare of scaling the wall of a private property, Iseul wonders if she can detest someone more than this- someone who is throwing their life on the line for something so stupid, treating life like it's a joke. She has an immediate definition for him. Idiot.

And she doesn't plan on changing that definition.

...at least not willingly.

F O R E W O R D :

fear

/ˈfir/

noun

An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

verb

Be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.

_________

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to grow up.

When you were five, the scariest things in life were the monsters hiding under your bed, waiting to gobble up your toes if they peeked out too far under the blankets, or the shadows that stretched across your room, or the oversized dollhouse in the corner that gave you goosebumps- but you could make those things disappear as soon as you buried your head under the covers. Even bikes were scary; they liked to trip you and send you flying.

So at five, I wanted to grow up. I couldn’t wait to get older, to reach the point where the monster under the bed would be scared of me, and I would finally be fearless. By then, I'd even have had practice with my bike, and it’d finally stop trying to kill me.

Except the problem was that the older you got, the more fears you developed. I happened to figure that out too late, and it happened to be the wrong way to figure it out, too. When you were a child, those fears you had could disappear, dissapate when the light of your room was switched on. They would fade into oblivion when your parents smiled at you, and everything would be alright. But when you got older, those fears didn't disappear. They stayed, they got stronger. 

Normally, it doesn’t take a car crash that kills both your parents to figure out that you, in fact, are not fearless, but that’s what it took me. And it took that car crash to scare me off every corner and twist down the road. It took that car crash for me to realize that hiding under the covers or using training wheels on your bike weren't the solutions to your fears, because sometimes, there were no solutions.

I started playing safe with everything — I was never out after dark, and on the rare occasion that I was, I carried a pocket knife. I never took shortcuts down alleys. If I was ever in a less-populated area, every noise would make me jump.

Life was a fragile thing, a preciously given gift, and it was supposed to be treated as such. It had to be treated as such. Must be. Wandering into the unknown, taking risks — those were probably the dumbest things there were to do. I discovered it was impossible to be what I wanted: fearless.

Wasn't it?

G E N R E :
ANGST, ROMANCE, COMEDY, SLICE OF LIFE

S T A T U S :
COMPLETED / SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

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