16. Training

    Jongin walked on the pitch, the sun beaming down on his skin. He could feel the tropic, sticky air with each inhalation; the air is so thick, he could cut through it. The sun hangs in the smoky sky - a perfect circle without strings or supports.    The roar of the crowd is better than any drug to him. The rush of a touchdown, the adrenaline pumping through his veins when he calls out the commands, the spirit of the game itself, a hot dog and a pop - that's heaven. Oh, how much he missed his school, the football training with his friends. Although it was only his third day here, he was looking forward to the day he would return to Seoul.    "Go! Go!" The cheerleaders cheered, moving in complete synchronization - everyone smiled, moving their pom-poms according to the instructors commands. Their skirts floating in the wind, droplets of sweat covering their forehead. To Jongin, it was gymnastics without the safety precautions. No mats, no nets, no room for error. Topple from that pyramid of girls and you'll get your face smashed.    He sat down on the bench - bench trees lined the bench, overhanging boughs providing dappled shade for them in the heat. He was waiting for the junior team to appear for another session. This time he planned a completely different session, focusing on bonding between the players, building trust, and having faith in each other. Next to him was a case with paper and pens.    He took out his phone from his pocket, re-reading Suho's message for the hundredth time. Being a player for an American football team would imply biding farewell to his friends for an undefined amount of time. Should he capture the arisen opportunity to play for his favourite team, to become an official member of their squad and wear their jersey with a swollen heart? Or should he let it slip and be content with his current situation?   "Coach Jongin!" A boy - if he remembered it correctly, who goes by Matt - screamed while running toward him, waving excitedly with his small arms and almost dropping his helmet in the process. With a last glimpse at his mobile, Jongin stored his phone in the pocket of his trousers.    "Matt, nice to see you!" He replied as the ten year old boy arrived. He was panting from his short run as he crashed down on the bench next to him.    "Coach?" Matt muttered and closed the distance between him and Jongin until their shoulders were brushing. He nervously fidgeted with the hem of his jersey, not daring to make eye contact. "I have a really embarrassing request to make."   Jongin raised a brow in question. "Go on."   "Would you help me lace up my shoes? I know it's really embarrassing, but I have trouble with lacing them up." Matt's cheeks were crimson red, obviously embarrassed.    "Sure." Jongin replied and bent down to tie his shoes; he didn't used to be this way. He used to be stuck in his negative range, violence, insults. Doing favors for others never crossed his mind before. He was changing for the better.    "Coach?"   The Quarterback whispered. "Yeah?"   "Can you stay with us, please?" He softly hummed. His face was void of any emotions, as if he was emotionally bankrupt; nothing left to say, nothing left to feel.    "O-Of course, we cannot control what decisions you make in your life, but we all, I mean every single one of us appreciates you. W-We .. never had a coach who didn't give up the minute he saw us. You didn't quit and I-I'm" He sobbed, with his palm he tried to cover his eyes.    The tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his stubbled, wobbling chin. "I a-am thankful that you didn't give up on us, too. Thank you for having faith in us."     "I will never let you down." Kai promised and hugged the sobbing boy.    He used to believe that growing and growing up are analogues, that both are inevitable and uncontrollable processes. Now, he believed that growing up is governed by the will, that one can choose to become an adult, but only at given moments.                                     *"*     One by one the junior team arrived, each of them filled with glee and enthusiasm for the upcoming session.    "Welcome to our second training. As you may know, this Saturday is the second game of your season and we still have to practice a lot."    "Coach? Why do you train us when we are going to lose anyway? We are losers, your talent is wasted on us." Seok asked, his fellow teammates nodding in approval of his question.    "The difference, Seok, between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength or knowledge, but rather in a lack of will. Your own motivation determines what you achieve, you