A/N: Trigger warning; some mention of depression and cutting.

chapter twenty two: xxii. christmas celebration pt. 1

“Yo… I’m gathering the boys for Christmas Eve. You have to be there, no matter what,” Yoongi’s voice came from my phone.

“All of them? Taehyung oppa, too? You know how awkward that will be, him and Jungkook oppa meeting again? You better not be calling that new guy, what’s his face, Jimin! Though I heard him featured in that song… what was his stage name? G-Man? What the kind of sh*t name is that? We have V, C.Gull, J-Hope, and J.E. And then G-Man? Seriously?”

Yoongi laughed. It was weird, he was in a strangely good mood. It was rare to see him laughing at something that wasn’t narcissistic or to someone’s downfall/shortcoming. “Well it was originally supposed to be G-Min, but—”

“It’s too similar to J-Min.” I finished.

“Yeah yeah, and Jimin was going on about how manly he was so then we were like okay fine you’re G-Man from now on.”

“Gee man, that was a stupid decision. Anyway… I kind of wanted to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with… my boys.” I sat down on my bed, sighing as I rubbed the back of my head.

“Speaking of which, did you reconcile with that boy you were fighting with? Not that I care.”

“Yeah, I did. We’re all good now.” I smiled into the phone.

“Hey, Taehyung says he misses you. Jimin says he wants to meet you. I’m paying for their plane tickets, including your oppa’s. Oh, and did you know? Hoseok’s living in Seoul now.”

I made a face. “Seriously? Hoseok’s living in Seoul?”

I heard him laughing. See? Weird. He must be drunk or something. “You go girl, speaking about Hopie informally! He deserves it!”

“You bet he does,” I growled. “Do I really have to see him? Can I punch him again?”

“It’s a BTS meeting, dude. We need to call all of them. Hey, will you come if I allow all of your boys to come?”

My face brightened, and I grinned. “There are twelve of them, you know.”

“I know, I know. Bring them by six, we’ll have dinner and then get drunk and all that fun. We’ll spill each other’s secrets. You guys can even stay over, I have plenty of rooms.”

“I know that you have plenty of rooms. And we can’t get drunk, oppa, we’re underage!”

“No one has to know.” He giggled. Definitely drunk. “Anyway, see you soon!”

I stared at my phone-he had hung up, shaking my head in disbelief.

I rang the bell, shivering from the cold and from the nerves. It’d be awkward introducing everyone, having to see Jungkook’s awkwardness with Jimin and Taehyung, and having to see Hoseok.

“What are you doing here?”

I rolled my eyes. “You invited me, Su. Now let me in.” I waved at the camera, casually sticking out my middle finger and sticking out my tongue.

“Tch… brat.”

The gate door buzzed open and I skipped inside, motioning for the others to follow me. I raised my hand to knock on the main door when it opened, revealing Jungkook. He looked at me with relieved eyes.

“Why’d it take you so long to get here?” he hissed. “You know awkward it was?”

I rolled my eyes. “Missed you too, Cee.”

I walked passed him, glancing back to make sure they were following me. I took my shoes off, and they too hesitantly followed.

“I’M HOME!” I hollered.

“Ah Jooeun, are you here?” Sukjin said, a bowl in his arms.

“Jin ahjumma!” I beamed. “It’s been a while! Not really. Anyway, continue your cooking! Looking forward to the food.”

Junmyeon clutched onto my hand with a pale face. I rolled my eyes. “Ready to meet Suga?”

He shook his head slowly. I laughed. “Yah! Min Yoongi, stop making out with my brother and hurry up and come down to greet your guests!”

I heard him thundering down the stairs, and there he stood, flushed cheeks and hair sticking everywhere. “I was not making out with your oppa! I just let you in, remember?”

“You have the video and button to let me in right beside your bed, oppa.” I rolled my eyes. “And besides, your appearance clearly says otherwise.”

“So it’s canon?” Junmyeon whispered. So there was a reason he knew what ‘OTP’ stood for.

He glared at me. “That’s because I kind of just woke up!”

I considered it. “You know, I don’t doubt that.”

“Can you guys all shut up?” groaned my brother, coming down the stairs with an appearance just as messy as Yoongi. He yawned, running a hand through his hair.

I grinned. “So you guys are finally together? It took a while. Already sleeping together?”

Yoongi started to stutter, and my brother stepped in front of him. “So what if we are?” he asked drowsily, putting his arm around Yoongi. “This hangover is killing me. Everyone shut up!”

“Jin, get him some water please!” Yoongi called, and I grinned even wider.

“Oppa’s influence is doing miracles on you. Saying please!” I said, gasping. I turned to Jungkook. “So… is Hoseok here yet?” My voice dropped to a whisper. Jungkook gave the almost inconceivable nod, and I groaned.

“And I was wondering what the commotion was,” an amused voice came.

My face brightened. “Taehyung oppa?” I turned around, grinning. On the right of him, holding his hand, was a (I must admit) handsome (but short) man (who was also very muscular looking) (though not as muscular as Jungkook)-presumably Jimin (or should I say… G-Man), and on his left, smirking at me, was Jung. Ho. Seok.

Ignoring the boy on the left, I bowed slightly to Jimin. “Jimin-ssi! I haven’t seen you in a long time!” I said stiffly, with false cheeriness. As much as I wanted to be nice to him, because it was Taehyung’s boyfriend, knowing that he was the reason that Taehyung and Jungkook had broken up made me automatically be harsher to him.

“Ah, Jooeun-ah! You’ve gotten so much prettier since I last saw you! Which… was a long time ago.” said Jimin, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. Must… resist… handsomeness…

“Ahaha,” I laughed awkwardly. I know I was supposed to reply with the typical ‘and you’ve gotten handsomer,’ but I didn’t want to. “Veeeeeeeeee!” I launched myself at Taehyung, to fill up the awkwardness.

Taehyung caught me and spun me around. He was still that older brother’s friend figure to me. “Aigoo, you’re heavy now.”

I scowled at him, retreating back to Jungkook. “And this is why I like Jungkook oppa more than you.” I turned to the kitchen. “Jin ahjummaaaaaaaa, when’s the food going to be ready?”

I heard his laughter echo, followed by a, “in ten minutes!”

“Well then… let’s go and wait,” Namjoon said, leading the way to the dining room.

The boys sat down, and I sat in between Jungkook and Junmyeon, who was still watching everything in awe, looking around at the house muttering ‘I’m in SUGA’s house.’ I didn’t think I would ever get used to Junmyeon in fanboy mode. “Ahh, right. Everyone, introduce yourselves.”

One by one, they started introducing themselves to the others, though of course Jungkook and Namjoon already knew them. Well, most of them. There were twelve of them, it was hard to remember all of them.

“I’ve got to say, Eun-ah… I was a bit offended you didn’t even say hi to me,” said Hoseok, staring at me with the side of his head leaning into the palm of his hand, elbow against the table.

“Don’t call me that,” I snarled. Unfortunately, I wasn’t one to forgive easily. “I was a bit offended that I had to see your ugly face. I didn’t think it was possible, but your ugly face got even uglier.”

I could see everyone at the table trying not to laugh. I felt quite proud myself, it was a sick burn.

“Why’d you go out with me if you thought I was so ugly?” he asked, smiling at me much too happily for my liking.

“Because I pitied you,” I said, smiling sweetly at him. “I thought no other girl would ever go out with you… but I guess I was wrong. Though I have no idea what she saw in you. Perhaps it was for the same reason as me.”

“That didn’t stop you from kissing me—”

“Yah, Jung Hoseok! I didn’t invite you here so that you’d get into another fight,” Yoongi warned.

“Why’d you even invite him?” Jungkook muttered under his breath. “So that I could bash his ugly little face even more?”

Baekhyun snickered. “But he might sue you, which would probably not be a good thing. You don’t want to waste money hiring a lawyer on him.”

“I’m in law school,” Jimin offered, “I’m graduating this June, so if you fight him then I can be your official lawyer.”

Hoseok glared at Jimin. “Dude, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Yo, I have morals,” replied Jimin.

“Oooooooh get rekt!” I crowed, holding my hand out for a high five. Jimin high fived me, and I grinned at him. Sorry Jungkook…

“Food is here,” Sukjin announced as he came into the room with a tray of food. “Someone mind helping me bring out all of the food?”

“ME!” Junmyeon raised his hand as fast as lightning, bolting up from his seat. “I WILL HELP YOU!”

Sukjin nodded slowly, clearly amused. “Two more people?”

“Soo oppa and I will,” I volunteered, getting up from my seat and grabbing the hand of a bewildered and slightly shocked Kyungsoo. He got up, too, awkwardly trailing after me and Junmyeon. Junmyeon was pale, obviously really excited (Yoongi liked posting pictures of food… Sukjin’s food), I was skipping, and Kyungsoo was meekly following after the two of us.

I grabbed a tray (that had a lot of food on it) and walked back with it, placing it on the table and skipping back to the kitchen. By the time Kyungsoo got there, I grabbed his wrist, making sure he couldn’t go anywhere. I noticed he flinched ever so slightly, and apologized, moving my hand to just hold his hand so that it wasn’t as uncomfortable for him. When Sukjin came back, I jumped in front of him, dragging Kyungsoo with me. “I’ll take the last tray, you guys talk a little. Jin oppa,” I said, specifically changing the honorific, “um, tell him about your other job, will you?”

I shoved Kyungsoo’s hand into Sukjin’s, and grabbed the last tray and going back to the dining room.

Sukjin had come far. In Korea, many people got depression, but the number of people who actually cut wasn’t that much. Sukjin had been one of them, back in the old days when he was a teenager. Which… had perhaps been around fifteen years ago. He was only part-time housekeeper and cook, really. In his spare time, he went around talking to people about depression, suicide, and cutting. It was quite admirable of him, of course. He talked about his cutting days easily, and it caused him no distress, which was why I was sure that this would help Kyungsoo. Like I’d said, he’d come far.

But why was Sukjin, a handsome, young-ish (at mid thirties), smart man working as a housekeeper and cook for Yoongi? Well, for one, he loved cooking. And also, he lived there for free, and got paid for the food he made and what he cleaned, and got to eat the food there for free. But truthfully, it was because he owed it to Yoongi’s mother, who had practically brought him up. Yoongi’s mother owned an orphanage, under a not for profit organization that she also owned (the pros of being rich). Sukjin had grown up there, until he was eighteen, and she had always made sure that he was doing okay. When she’d found out he cut, she’d first slapped him and screamed at him, saying how could you dare hurt your precious body, but after, she’d researched more about depression, and apologized.

Realizing that it wasn’t in his control. A hard concept to accept, if you had never personally had depression yourself. People who’d never had depression could usually never empathise or try to understand well, but the fact that she had made an effort was big enough. Most people didn’t even try, and just made their own assumptions on what depression was.

In the end, you needed someone who completely understood you. That was why I was making Kyungsoo talk with Sukjin. Because as much as I probably understood depression better than anyone else who’d never had it, seeing as what I’d gone through… it still wasn’t the same as someone who’d actually had it, who’d gone through it, who’d suffered it. Kyungsoo needed this.

“This is the last tray,” I said to Junmyeon, who had been starting to go back. “And Soo oppa and Jin ahjumma are currently discussing some recipe techniques. Should we wait for them or… just start eating?” I turned to the group.

“Let’s eat!” said all the humans.

So no, not including Yixing, because he’s a unicorn. And angel. He protested. “But D.O.’s not back. Neither is Jin-ssi.”

I decided to sit where Kyungsoo had been sitting, which was in between Chanyeol and Baekhyun. In front of me was Kris. I was on the same side as Hoseok, just with many seats separating us, so now I didn’t have to look at his face.

“Jun oppa, you can sit in my previous seat, and I guess Soo oppa will sit where you sat?” I suggested, knowing that he would love any chance to get closer to BTS, anyway.

Junmyeon beamed gratefully at me, and I just rolled my eyes at him.

“Okay then, let’s eat! Yixing, you can wait until Kyungsoo and Jin get back if it really bothers you so much,” said Namjoon. He’d specifically remembered Yixing after their last meet, when Yixing had been so blatantly honest to him. He’d grown a liking, I could tell. My brother was blunt and honest too (as was Yoongi), and he loved himself. So he tended to like people similar to himself. Narcissistic, much.

“We’ll eat well,” we all chorused before starting to eat. Yixing, too, reluctantly began to eat.

(A/N: in Korean, much like Japanese, they have a saying, ‘잘 먹겠습니다’ or jal mukgesseubnida. You’ll recognize ‘muk’ from ‘mukbang,’ meaning eat (bang short for bangsong which means broadcast). ‘Jal’, means well or good, and ‘gesseubnida’ is I/we will. So the literal translation is good, eat, we/I will. In Japanese, it’s ittadakimasu, and is much more well known than the Korean version, due to anime.)

“So Taehyung oppa,” I said after I swallowed, “what are you doing right now? Like profession-wise. I heard your song with them,” I nodded my head at my brother and Yoongi, “and I know you sing for them sometimes. But so do Jungkook oppa and I. And Jimin oppa too, I guess. G-Man.” I snorted to myself, before continuing. “So what’s your job?”

“Oh, I have an instrument store,” replied Taehyung after gulping down some water. “If you ever need a new guitar or something, come and I’ll give you a discount.”

My eyes lit up. “No way! That’s so cool, you’re so lucky!”

He grinned sheepishly. “I know right? I just used some of the leftover funds from back in our band days, and sang a few more songs for them,” he nodded his head at them as well, “and did a lot of part time jobs, and then I had enough money to buy the store! Then, I sang a few more songs for them, did a lot more part time jobs, and I had enough to buy the instruments and everything! And now, business is blooming.”

I nodded. “I remember that one mixtape they had where you were singing in like seven of their songs! You know, I wanted to sing in the remix version for Hold Me Tight, but noooo, you had to take it! That was one of my favourites from our band days!”

His face lit up. “Hey, after we eat we should go down to the negative level and play some of our songs!”

I nodded eagerly. “Yo, oppa, that’d be so cool! Just like the old days! We can show off to my boys at how awesome we are!” I turned to them. “We actually had a lot of fans. We were that one really good Asian band in Toronto… I guess we’re all Korean so it’s that one really good Korean band in Toronto. We got a ton of gigs and if you knew music, you knew of us. Because our songs were in English, so it was like k-pop but they could actually understand!”

Then my brother stood up and started clapping his hands together, trying to speak but having too much in his mouth. Yoongi rolled his eyes at him. After he finally swallowed, he started speaking. “Jooeun-ah, you know that band you really like?”

“GOT7?” I asked. He shook his head. “B.A.P?”

He nodded wildly, clapping his hands together some more. “Yoongi and I are doing a collab with them.”

“WHATTTTTTT???!!!!” I screamed, bolting up from my chair. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE??? DID YOU MEET THEM ALREADY? ARE THEY WRITING THE SONG OR ARE YOU WRITING THE SONG? WHAT SONG? HOW? BUT WON’T THAT BE WEIRD, FOUR RAPPERS AND FOUR SINGERS??? ARE YOU GOING TO DANCE?? WHAT KIND OF SONG IS IT?? OPPAAAA TELL MEEEEEEE!”

“Jeez Joo, let me talk!” My brother rolled his eyes. “Apparently only two of them are singing in it, and one of them rapping. Yoo Youngjae, Jung Daehyun, and Bang Yongguk?”

“Wait so did you meet them? Get me all their signatures!! Wait if you’re meeting them again you have to take me along I really want to meet Yongguk oppa—”

“What’s so good about them anyway?” Baekhyun mumbled from beside me, his bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

I turned to him, clasping my hands together excitedly. “Well you see, they’re so talented like if you watch their live it’s so good and they’re only rookies so far but yeah and they write their own songs and they can also dance and they’re also really good looking—”

“But obviously not as good looking as us, right?” Chanyeol asked, smiling at me as if I was judging him at the moment.

“No,” Chanyeol’s face fell, “but probably only because they wear eyeliner.”

“That’s it, I’m going to put some on,” Baekhyun growled, putting his chopsticks down and getting up from his seat. Minseok, from his other side, pulled him down, rolling his eyes.

“Next time, dude, next time.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that you wear eyeliner! Yeah, I want to see one day! See if you’re as hot as Daehyun oppa, who you actually look kind of similar too, now that I imagine you wearing eyeliner…” I looked at him, applying eyeliner on him in my imagination.

“Yo Vee, that means… you’ll look like Daehyun oppa with eyeliner on too!” I squealed. “I can’t wait to experiment!”

“Oh hell no I am not trusting you with a pointy object near this beautiful face,” said Taehyung, “besides, you can’t even makeup, dude!”

“I can always learn as I go,” I fluttered (tried to) my eyelashes at him.

“Never do that again, that was ing scary,” said Yoongi, totally grossed out.

“It’s not even the first time you saw me do it.” I scowled at him, going back to my food.

Kyungsoo and Sukjin came back right at that time; Sukjin was smiling widely, as was Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo had the faint imprint of having cried-he had an eyelash stuck to his cheek.

“Soo oppa,” I called, gesturing for him to come towards me.

I quickly swiped the eyelash off his cheek and smiled at him. “The food’s practically cold, go sit beside Jun oppa! Sorry for stealing your seat,” I grinned apologetically. Well, more like sorry not sorry.

He smiled back at me. “It’s okay, Jooeun. Thank you.”

I tilted my head to the side, smile only growing wider. “It’s nothing. Anything for you.”

He went to his seat, and Sukjin took his seat on the right of Hoseok, and also diagonally to the left across from Kyungsoo. I sat two seats diagonally to the right of Kyungsoo. Hoseok had clearly watched the whole conversation. “What was that about?” he asked with a snobbish tone.

“Nothing for you to know,” I replied, reaching for some kimchi. Wrapping some rice and meat in it, I ate it. Nothing was better than kimchi and rice. And meat, of course.

“God, Yoongi oppa, you must have spent a lot of money on this food… I mean look at this, hanwoo, galbi, even kimbab and hyemul. Not that I like hyemul, anyway.”

(A/N: hyemul is seafood, kimbab is Korean sushi, hanwoo is Korean beef, and galbi is beef ribs, usually flavoured in Korean style)

“You don’t like hyemul?” Baekhyun stared at me in shock. “How can you not like hyemul? Who doesn’t like hyemul?”

“A lot of people, actually,” Jungkook said. “You know, because it’s raw and sometimes alive? Some people find it like eating dog.”

Kai let out a sound of anger. “I don’t understand why anyone would eat dog! Dogs are so precious and they’re so innocent and must be protect at all costs!! They’re the only good left in this world, I swear.”

“Kai, how about me? I’m not a dog but I’m still good, right?” Chanyeol asked, doing puppy dog eyes at him.

“What are you talking about? You are a dog,” I snorted.

“Joo Joo!” he whined, pouting.

“A puppy?” My voice tone changed. Him pouting was just too d*mn cute.

“A cute one?” he perked up.

I looked around for any help. None was being offered; everyone was watching this interaction in amusement. I sighed. “Yes, oppa, a cute one.” With that, I smirked and ruffled his hair.

“Hey, how can you do that to your oppa?” asked Chanyeol.

“Your mental age is like five though,” quipped Baekhyun with some galbi in his mouth.

“Why you little!”

I laughed as Chanyeol pounced on Baekhyun, causing Baekhyun to drop his galbi onto his plate with a sound of protest, something along the lines of ‘mY GALBI!’

“Hey hey, break it up!” Junmyeon protested. “No fighting here! We’re guests, be polite!”

“No, it’s fine! We’d prefer it if they acted like it was their home, anyway. It’s a lot more fun and besides, we want you to be comfortable so that we can be comfortable,” said my brother, replying in Yoongi’s stead. Yoongi would probably say something like, ‘yeah, you brats!’

This went on for awhile, mini-fights and arguments occurring in the middle of eating, while the quiet ones ate quickly while watching in amusement. The end result was Kris (yes, Kris) cowering behind me as Tao glared at him in a fighting stance.

“Stop hiding behind her and come fight me, since you’re soooo much stronger than me!”

I laughed, unsure of what decision to make. Protect Kris, or move aside and have fun watching Kris get destroyed?

“Sorry, Kris oppa. But I rarely see you like this, it’s too good of an opportunity to pass,” I said, laughing as I removed his hands from my shoulders and moved aside.

Kris quickly ran behind Junmyeon.

The food was quickly abandoned as everyone joined this fight. Of course, we’d practically finished eating anyway. I was on Minseok’s back, and we were charging after Baekhyun who had just ‘punched’ Minseok on the shoulder. More like a knock.

Minseok shifted me up and I punched Baekhyun from his flinching position in the corner. “Mission success, Agent Mini. I am now transferring to a new mission, so bye!” I slid off of his back and made my way to Jungkook, who was bending over a literally rolling-on-the-floor-laughing Chanyeol. I kicked the back of his legs, and he lost his balance and fell right onto Chanyeol.

Somehow, the whole room went silent and everyone was staring at the two.

I whistled innocently before trying to make my escape, when Jungkook leapt up and off of Chanyeol. I started running away, squealing in a mix of fear and excitement, hiding behind Taehyung. I saw his resolve fall there and then. His eyes met with Taehyung, and I saw him falling in love for the millionth time with Taehyung, and his heart breaking for the second time. Realizing that he couldn’t just lean forward and kiss him anymore, and that the other no longer loved him.

My heart ached for my best friend. They say that the heavier you are, the faster and harder you fall. It was similar with love. The harder and longer you’ve loved, the more it hurt and the harder your heart broke. The more cracks there were in your heart.

“I SURRENDER!” I hollered, holding my hands up and standing in front of Taehyung.

Jungkook looked down at me with a bitter look in his eyes. He smiled, but it didn’t change the expression in his eyes. He socked me once on the stomach, and I grinned at him in return. He smiled back at me, and that smile… had a little bit of… just a little bit of truth to it. It was only a little, but it was there.

I clasped my hands together. “So who’s ready for some ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘Let Me Know?’”

A/N: Sorry I didn't update last week ;; I was really busy... I'm actually still really busy but I thought I'd post this to get you guys pumped for Christmas (if you celebrate, that is-and if you don't, to get excited for Winter Holidays) and for EXO'S NEW ALBUM COMING SOON!!!

So excited!! :)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter.

~Jinny Out