I popped open the cap of the over the counter painkiller my dad got for me yesterday. I shook out one pill and swallowed it down with water.

I opened my math textbook and started my homework. Hopefully I could finish early and get something to eat before my father came back wasted and deadly drunk.

Find the derivative of....Oh god. If I have to do any more of this calculus crap--but it was actually pretty easy for me. 

My phone vibrated from the corner of the table. I ignored it, thinking it was my father telling me that he'd be back late. He always did that.

It dropped to the floor. I was glad I had a phone cover on, or it would have broken.

It was from someone I did not expect at all.

Jessica: You better be home. Dad wanted me to come to your apartment.

I made a face. Strange. He never said anything about that to me.

Then I got an incoming message from dad saying he'd be back in ten and I better clean up the house.

I sighed. Great. Now I have to clean up the mess he made last night when he smashed the wine bottle on the floor. He hadn't picked it up yet and I was waiting until later to deal with that.

I swept up the glass shards and dumped them into the trash bin. I cleaned the counters which weren't that bad. 

I scanned the apartment for anything else to get out of the way.

Nope. Just my books.

I sat back down and continued studying. 

AN hour pased without Dad. I was just finishing my calculus when the doorbell rang. I was puzzled. WHy didn't dad just open the door himself?

I crept to the door in case it was the landlady or some stranger wanting some trouble.

I peeked through the door hole. Luckily my eyesight was still good enough to recognize the people...

Oh snap. It was the landlady AND my sister, who actually looked much different than all those years ago.

She was really pretty.

"HOw come I've never seen you before?" the landlady asked. 

"I live alone," my sister said tartly.

"I see. Well, your father has been having some troubles, just so you know."

"I didn't need to thanks."

I ducked down with my back against the door.

This was major levels of hostility I was going to be dealing with. I mean, I knew my sister could be cold, but this was something else.

"Well, I've met your sister, and she's a real sweetheart. The poor dear is always on her own."

"Oh...is she?" I heard my sister ask. She kind of hesitated, which led me to think the landlady's remark surprised her. We hadn't seen her for so long anyway, so that seemed likely.

"Yes, her father always comes home late. He causes quite a ruckus, and distrubances for the other tenants here."

"Sorry to hear that," my sister replied.

Oh crap. What to do? What do I do?

I knew she was coming, and dad was supposed to be here a long time ago!

The doorbell rang again.

My heart started going crazy and I had to stop for a moment to calm down. It was just my sister after all. What was there to be afraid of? I inhaled and reached my hand to unlock the door.

Why was my hand shaking?

Just act normal, I told myself. I tried to steady myself. There was nothing to be afraid of. It's just the landlady, who was actually sympathetic towards me, and my sister, who absolutely hates me.

Haha. what's there to fear?

I shook my head and opened the door.

"Hello, Soojung!" the landlady exclaimed.

I noticed my sister tensed when she called me by my Korean name.

"Your sister's here to see you! Isn't that nice?" she cried.

"Y-eah," I said awkwardly.

I glanced at my sister quickly before looking back at the landlady."Um...dad said he'll get you the check next week. The bank made an error on his account so..."

"Fine, fine," she waved a hand. "You two don't really look alike," she pointed out.

I shrugged, but my sister sighed with a hint of annoyance. 

"Well, thanks for bringing me up here," my sister said. It sounded forced.

"Sure, sure," the landlady said. "Nice meeting you, Jessica."

The landlady was still there. What was she waiting for?

To my surprise, my sister put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me into the apartment, curling one arm around my waist. I jumped away.

"Right well, see you later." Jessica shut the door in the landlady's face.

I stood awkwardly in my own home while she kicked off her sneakers.

She surveyed the place. "So you live here..."

"Um...do you want something to drink?" I asked.

I mentally facepalmed myself. We didn't have anything here except water and milk, and all the alchohol from dad.

She ignored me, and looked out the window, which was  all crusty and tinted in some places.

"WHere is he?" she asked.

I assumed she meant dad. "Dunno. He was supposed to be here a while ago."

She sneered. "Figures. The man doesn't even know himself anymore."

I gaped at her. "O-oh...um, well he is stressed out now...since he's been struggling with finances and stuff," I tried to defend him.

"Oh, is that what you think?" she me and fixed me with her cold glare.

"Uh...," I looked at the wall behind her, afraid to meet her eyes. I backed against the chair I had been sitting in before the doorbell had rung. "I don't know..."

She let out a huff of air from her nose, one side of curled up in disgusted amusement. "Of course not, Krystal. You were too young."

I made a face. I was too young? What was that supposed to mean? Was she referring to whatever happened to mom all those years ago?

She ruffled my hair so that it was all messed up. She sat down on the couch and started looking at her phone. 

I grumbled to myself and fixed up my tangled hair. What was she trying to do? And what did she mean?

Why did dad even ask her to come here in the first place? Without telling me too!!

"This better be worth my time," she growled darkly. "I really don't have a lot of time to listen to the sorry man."

I felt kind of offended at that. Even though he was a raging alchoholic, he was still our father, and he provided for us.

He provided for her education in the states!

That's quite a bit of money if you ask me, plus it was one of the top schools she'd gone to while I went to schools here in Korea. Don't get me wrong, the schools here are great, but name schools in California are a big deal...especially for mean rich people (that was really offensive please disregard). Also, we're not rich, by the way. Not anymore at least...after dad lost that account, and after he started to drink and pick up girls at the bar.

"Well...he'll be around soon," I said hopefully.

I started closing my books and stuff and piled them in a stack. I took them into my room.

"It's bad manners to leave a visitor hanging," Jessica reprimanded me.

"You're my sister," I retorted and entered my room. I dumped my books on my shelf. I had no desk. There wasn't enough money to afford anything but the basics in our budget. 

All we had was the couch, the table, the two small beds, a shelf or two, and a lamp.

We were living life to the fullest alright...no.

The door opened and the lights from heaven shone from above. The end of the world's awkwardest sister moments!!

"Hey, Sooyeon," he said. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I was held up at work--"

"Yeah, yeah," Jessica cut him off. "Whatever. What did you want?"

"Look, we need to talk...about things," he said. He glanced at me. "Oh, Soojung. How was school?"

"Same as ever," I replied. 

"Good."

I don't think he really knew what was going on, but at least he was trying.

"Uh, Soojung, could you run an errand for me?" he said. "Go to the post office and bring the mail for me. I had no time."

"Ok," I said, and he gave me the keys to his mailbox.

"Be safe," he told me, and ruffled my hair, again messing it up.

Even as my father was talking to my sister while I headed out the door, I could feel my sister's eyes burning holes into the back of my head.

I stepped into the post office. It smelled like a post office-- tape, paper, stamps, you name it.

I walked down a hallway to a corner full of PO boxes. I scanned the boxes for my dad's mailbox. 49A.

I slipped the key in and took out the mail. I shut the door a little too loudly, and I looked around me to make sure no one actually saw me. No one was here, though, so lucky me.

As I walked back home, I flipped through the mail. Bills, ads, crematorium ads, the doctor, dad's business, something for dad about children's services....children's Services?

I stopped on the side of the street and sat down on the curb so that I could read it. The packet was thick with papers and I read the sender's name.

South Korea International Children's Services

"Children's Services?" I said aloud in confusion. "What the hell do they want?"

I contemplated opening the envelope, but I was pretty sure dad wouldn't be too happy about me poking my nose where it didn't belong. However, my heart was starting to pick up. Children's services meant government, and it also meant the people that take children away from their parents if necessary. I collected the mail in a stack again, making sure the children's services envelope was in the back so I wouldn't see it. 

As I walked back home, I tried to convince myself that it had to be about something else. But what? 

Stupid, if anything they've heard about your dad's raving alchoholism and rowdy scenes from the apartment complex! my mind seemed to be screaming at me to wake up and listen to reality.

I really hoped this wasn't true. It couldn't be. I was alright. He never laid a hand on me, nor did he ever try to beat me up.

I suddenly felt really light headed and I had to lean against a lamppost. Stupid dizzy spells! They just had to hit right now...

I clenched my teeth as pain pounded in my head. Oh crap, I thought to myself, this is really bad. I closed my eyes, willing the pain to go away.

"Hey! You ok?" someone asked me.

I quickly opened my eyes and saw a car in front of me. It was one of the girls from my high school, but I actually didn't know her name. She had her hari cut short and she always seemed to sport guys' apparel.

"Uh..." I didn't even know how to function because I was surprised.

"I'm Amber," she said. "You're...uh, Krystal, right? I've heard about you from Luna."

"L-Luna?" I stammered. STupid! I cursed myself.

Amber laughed. "Your friend, yeah. I've known her since we were born!"

"Oh."  I sounded really stupid.

"Anyway, you need a ride?" she asked. "You don't seem well."

"Uh...f-fine," I managed to reply as another pang of pain hit. "I'm alright, thanks."

"Well, if you're sure," Amber sounded doubtful. "I'll see you at school then." 

I heard the sound of the engine as she drove away and around the corner.

Maybe I shoud have taken that offer, but I hardly even knew the girl. I'd heard stuff about her too. Apparently, she was pretty rough around the edges and she liked to get a bit tipsy at times. Those were rumors though, so I don't even know if that was true or not. She seemed like a nice person though, and if she knew Luna, maybe she was an ok person after all.

"I can't believe this!" I heard my sister cry from inside the apartment. "You're just gonna do what mom did to us to me?!"

"I'm not, Sooyeon!" dad protested. "That's why I'm warning you now! I just need your help for a little bit!"

I didn't know that they would be having a heated argument. I just thought that they would have a little conversation and then leave. They must have been talking about something serious if it turned into mom. 

So, because I like to stay away from the action, I just camped outside the apartment door with the mail.

"I can't do this, dad!" Jessica said angrily. "I'm in college! I don't have enough time to take care of her!"

"you don't need to! She knows how to take care of herself," Dad said calmly.

"Oh, right. Because she's always alone, right?" Jessica shot back at him. "What kind of parent are you? In fact, what kind of parents are you AND mom if you're both just going to drop her like this?"

"You're her sister," Dad said. He paused. "Please, Sooyeon, it will only be for the time I have to go on this business trip. Help your father, please." Now he sounded more desperate as if he were in some other kind of situation...like life and death.

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend or one of Krystal's friends if she can stay over?" Jessica suggested. "I'm sure they won't mind."

"No. This is different."

My sister groaned. "Seriously? Dad, I know sometimes you can be a fool, but I can see through this act. You're going to give her to me and make me take care of her forever."

"I told you, she can take care of herself. She's a very independent girl. And she won't take up a lot of space!"

SHe let out a moan of exasperation. "The answer is no, dad. I can't let her stay with me."

"Sooyeon, wait," he said sharply.

"I'm sorry, dad," she cut him off. "But that's something I will not do for you. If she can take care of herself, then just let her stay in this apartment while you're gone."

"Sooyeon, if this is about your mother---"

"I don't want to hear it!" Jessica snapped. "If Krystal hadn't been born, mom wouldn't have left!"

I felt stung. Mom left because of me...was that it?

"Sooyeon, you're wrong!" Dad argued. "You don't even know the first thing about it!"

"Then why dont' you tell me?" she demanded.

"Because it's not the time."

"Then when? Huh? WHen? Does that mean that me AND Soojung have been living in the dark for all these years?"

"Please, have patience--"

"NO! And I don't want her anywhere near me!"

The door flew open and she stormed out. I had never seen or heard her sound this angry before.

"Oh, hi, Soojung," Dad said. "Did you get the mail?"

I handed him the stack of envelopes I had picked up. "Yeah." I stood up and we headed back inside. I wondered if he was going to tell me anything about what had gone on, but he kept mum.

"Thanks, Krys," he said. "Oh, by the way, I have a business trip to go on next week, so you'll be staying at your sister's for a couple weeks."

"Ok." I didn't let him know that I'd heard. "But...I can just stay at a friend's. Luna wouldn't mind at all."

He shook his head. "Believe me, Soojung. Stay with your sister."

Then,  I felt like pounding pain in my head again, and I fell onto the floor. 

"Oh my god! SOojung!" Dad exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

I felt like someone was trying to beat the crap out of my skull. It was so bad, and I blinked stars out of my eyes while I tried to regain focus. Dad had to carry me to my bed and he felt my forehead. "Omo...you have a fever. How did you even get sick?"

I couldn't even reply. The pain was not letting up.

He gave me the painkillers to take, and he wiped my face with a damp towel to cool me off.

"I'm sorry, Soojung," he said. "I'd take you to the doctor if I could, but we can hardly afford to fix the car."

"It's...fine, dad," I told him. "I'm ok."

He smiled. "I know you are."

I awoke in the darkness. It was reallly quiet.

But I could hear sobs coming from the other room. It was dad.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm sorry...I can't even take care of her..."

I felt really bad for my father. He had to go through so much and he thought that he could turn to alchohol to take away the pain, but I guess that was never the answer. I wished that I was already 18 and then he wouldn't have to go through this crap at all. I turned over on my bed and buried my face in my pillow.

Their argument that I had heard earlier replayed in my mind again.

"You're just going to do what mom did to us to me!?" my sister's voice echoed.

"I'm not, Sooyeon!" dad had cried. "That's why I'm warning you now! I just need your help for a little bit!"

I understood why my sister wouldn't want me near her. She hated me from head to toe. The only thing that was baffling me was why dad insisted on having me stay with her. If it was only a business trip, I could definitely just stay at Luna's home. Her parents wouldn't mind at all. They were very nice people, actually, and very supportive.

And what of mom? Did she really just drop me off on them? But why?

I didn't want to think about anything anymore. It was making my head hurt.