XII. THE LAST IMAGE OF YOU

November melted away in a haze of self-loathing for Seunghyun. He could barely remember the days as they passed: too much alcohol and Zico burned away his ability to feel at home in the moment. It was as though he were a ship cut from the docks and left to drift in unfamiliar waters – darkness closing in about him. The few flashes of coherency came in the moments he spent with Ji-Hyo, Junsu, and Mino. It almost seemed as though they were the fair winds trying to blow him back to safety; he felt nearly normal in their company. He had even taken to helping Ji-Hyo plan the wedding, since Daesung was unable to finish the task he had begun a year prior when his sister had become engaged. Seunghyun actually felt as though he were a part of the Kang family, though he by no means deserved that sensation. Not with what he did with Zico.

In so many ways, Seunghyun hated himself. He wanted to be the perfect memorial to Daesung’s love and the supportive, giving elder brother to Mino. If he were honest with himself, he even wanted to be close friends with Junsu, who he enjoyed talking to about music and soccer. But the shadows were drawing in too close around his heart. He knew that he was caught in a spiral that merited nothing but contempt and scorn from those he wanted to love. If they knew what he had gotten caught in, he was certain they would abandon him forever. It was what he deserved: to lose them all.

One evening – one of the rare nights spent at home – Seunghyun’s phone began to buzz with an incoming call. He answered, “Hello, Ji-Hyo. Has there been another table linen crisis?” The last time she had called him it had been because she could not decide what color the table linens should be, and they had spent an hour discussing the merits of the different combinations.

Ji-Hyo laughed. “No. The table cloths and napkins and everything else are just fine. They’re all ready for March. I am definitely not changing my mind again.”

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” Seunghyun drawled. “So if not table linens, what inspired you to call?”

“I wanted to invite you to something special,” she said nearly breathlessly. “Next week, on December 18^th, we’re having the opening party for the new exhibit at the gallery. Can you come?”

He hesitated. “I wasn’t aware you were putting up a new exhibit. I can certainly try my best to be there. What time is the party?”

“It’s starting at seven. And please come, Seunghyun.” He could practically hear her begin to fidget on the other end of the phone line. “It’s important.”

His brow furrowed. Why was a gallery exhibit so important? And then it dawned on him: Ji-Hyo was probably debuting an original work in the show. She always got nervous releasing a new piece, and Daesung had always been by her side at the opening party to help comfort her. Seunghyun had taken up the role of comforter and pseudo-brother in the past couple of months. He was touched that Ji-Hyo would have come to rely on him similarly. “I will clear my schedule,” he promised. Even though it meant ditching Zico and his friends, Seunghyun was certain the blond could spare him for one evening. “I wouldn’t miss something important – especially this close to Christmas.”

Ji-Hyo chuckled and murmured, “Thank you, Seunghyun. Make sure you bring Mino with you. He’s been in the studio less often lately.”

A sly little smirk turned Seunghyun’s lips. “That’s because he’s being wooed by a certain baker.”

“What? He didn’t tell me he was dating anyone!” Ji-Hyo huffed. “I’ll need to smack him the next time I see him. I thought I meant more to him than this.”

“Well, they’re not dating… Yet. Mino has this weird rule that he won’t date someone until they’ve been out of a relationship for at least a month, and Taehyun has been trying to convince him for a month to bend the rule. So, to be a stubborn pain, Mino keeps putting him off even though it’s past the month mark. I think they’re either going to strangle each other or suddenly start making out like mad, at this rate.”

He could perfectly imagine the blank expression he just knew was on Ji-Hyo’s face. “He likes this guy but won’t date him because the guy wants to date him?” She scoffed. “You Chois make zero sense. I should just kick him the next time I see him. Clearly, he deserves it.”

“Mino is young,” Seunghyun murmured. “And I think he’s a bit afraid of getting serious about someone. But I hope he doesn’t hold back to the point that Taehyun decides to date someone else. It’d probably break Mino’s heart if he did.”

“You should talk to him,” Ji-Hyo all but ordered. “Of anyone, you can talk sense into him.”

Seunghyun snorted. “As if. I am horrible at relationships.”

“No, you were horrible at relationships,” the woman corrected. “Until our Daesungie taught you how to be better at them. Now you’re the guru-in-residence, whether you like it or not.”

The man’s heart clenched painfully at the reminder of Daesung. His beloved would not endorse Seunghyun’s relationship prowess – not with the way he was botching trying to move on. But, he could not tell Ji-Hyo about the abortive mess of a relationship he found himself engaged in. “I will try,” he sighed at last.

“Good. So two important things: the party next week on the 18^th at seven and talking to Mino about his stupid life choices. If you accomplish those things, I will buy you that fancy ice cream you like. A whole gallon of it.”

“Deal,” he said immediately. “I will do whatever it takes to get the delicious ice cream.”

“I know, I know. That’s why I offered it, you idiot. I’ll talk to you later; Junsu sounds like he might be burning the chicken. Love you, Seunghyun!” With a beep, she was gone.

Seunghyun slowly lowered the phone from his ear and gazed down at it. “I love you too, Ji-Hyo.” He shook his head a little. “Even if you are insane.”

When Seunghyun crawled into bed that night, he took a long moment to breathe in the familiar scent of Daesung’s cologne. He had bought a new bottle the week before because he had used nearly all of what had remained in the nearly eight months since Daesung’s death. It was strange to think it had been so long since he had last seen the blond’s soft smile or heard the bright sound of his giggle. Seunghyun buried his face in Daesung’s pillow, letting himself imagine for a moment that the man was just in the shower – singing in that beautifully husky way of his – before coming to bed. For the past week, Seunghyun had imagined that scenario, trying to remember every last detail he could from their old ritual, before falling asleep. He could even almost call to mind the cedarwood scent of his beloved’s skin and the orange from his shampoo. Somehow, the recollections helped him sleep better than he ever had, and it lead to the most wonderful dreams.

As Seunghyun’s lids fell heavily shut, the angel curled up at his side smiled and brushed his fingertips across the man’s cheek. He had spent seven nights curled up around Seunghyun – hoping he would be more receptive to a positive influence in his sleep – and was grateful to find it was working at least a little. Seunghyun no longer had the deep bags under his eyes from tossing and turning each night, and he no longer cried his throat raw at the slightest provocation. There was a peace in being together like this, even if Seunghyun could not see or feel him.

And every night they lay together, Youngbae watched silently from the shadows.  His heart twitched ever-so-slightly at the look on the angel’s face: The amount of love and concern on his broad features reminded the demon of someone he used to know. It was perhaps too easy to imagine it was not the angel and his lover curled up in such a tender embrace, but someone who had sported unruly pink hair at the time wrapped tightly around a man with a black fauxhawk. Jiyong. There was something about the way Daesung held Seunghyun that was inherently different, though. Perhaps it was his angelic abilities or the love he held for the man in his arms, but as Daesung would lay beside Seunghyun the room would begin to softly glow from the light that seemed to come from the pores of the blond’s skin. The light would slowly weave around Seunghyun – wrapping him in a cocoon of warmth – as he would begin to dream, protecting him from any of the influences Seungri or Taeyang might try to exert over him. And it made Youngbae wonder if there was not more in Seunghyun’s dreams than just happy feelings caused by the angel’s nearness. After Seungri’s nagging, the brunette had done his research on angels, and he had found that it was possible for an angel to actually appear in someone’s dreams – thought it was extremely rare and difficult for them to do so. If Daesung were capable of that, he wondered, what else could the baby angel do?

The day before the gallery opening, Mino and Seunghyun were seated in the familiar warmth of the NamCat bakery with twin chocolate cupcakes sitting on the plate in front of them – extra curls. Seunghyun’s brows lifted at the familiar sight. “This is your special this week?” He looked up at Taehyun, who seemed just a little nervous judging by the way his brows kept twitching.

“Yes. It’s a new cupcake I’m introducing.” He cleared his throat. “I hope you don’t mind.” Turning, he pointed to the menu board, where each order and its description was carefully written out on the chalk-paint wall. Seunghyun’s gaze flickered across the board, searching for what the man was pointing at, before he felt his heart trip in his chest. Under signature cupcakes there was a new entry: The Daesung – Our best chocolate cupcake with extra chocolate curls and a special chocolate ganache filling. Without a word, Seunghyun rose and caught Taehyun in a bone-crushing hug.

After a long moment, Seunghyun murmured, “Daesung would love it. He always wanted something named after him.” The brunette released the young man and gave him a small smile. “And he always did consider your cupcake to be a masterpiece. I swear he would’ve eaten them every day if I’d let him.”

Taehyun chuckled, ducking his head to hide the pleased smile that turned his lips. “I’m glad you approve. I just…realized the other day that it really was his cupcake, so I should just name it for him. That way he’s still in my bakery every day.” The bell above the door rang as a mother came in, dragging her two children with her. “I’ll be back in a minute to check on you,” Taehyun promised before bustling away.

Seunghyun’s throat tightened, but he managed to maintain his smile. It was becoming easier to live with the pain, he thought. That, or he was just becoming numb to it. He carefully resumed his seat and began to peel the wrapper back from the cupcake. Across from him, Mino watched him like a hawk, brows furrowed and gaze intense. “Seunghyun, are you alright?”

The brunette looked up and laughed, even though his heart felt heavy. “I’d be better if you would just ask Taehyun on a date.” Picking off a chocolate curl, he stuck it on his tongue and let it begin to melt there.

Mino ran his thumbnail along the edge of the table. “I’m scared, Seunghyun,” he admitted softly. “Of – of getting too attached to him.”

Seunghyun snorted. “There’s no such thing.” He carefully picked up his fork and twisted it in his fingers. “It’s better to care about someone with all of your heart and lose them than to never experience love at all.”

“But what if we date for a month and then break up?” Moments like this reminded Seunghyun that his brother was still so young and inexperienced. It made some of the pain in his own heart ease a little. “I don’t know that I could stand it.”

“Mino, it’s okay to be scared. But…a month with him would be better than nothing, I think. Plus, you never know what will happen unless you actually give it a shot,” Seunghyun said, pointing at his brother with his fork for added emphasis. “He could be someone you could really love, if you let yourself.”

Mino groaned and took a huge bite of his cupcake to buy himself time to think of a witty comeback. As he chewed on the chocolatey goodness, his gaze slowly drifted over to follow Taehyun as he moved behind the counter. He smiled a little at the graceful way Taehyun held the bag of frosting between his long fingers and the lovely little furrow of concentration that had lodged itself between the man’s brows. Taehyun always made Mino want to draw – to capture his everyday beauty. “Skies, I’m so stupid,” he said at last. “What..what do you think I could ask him to?”

Seunghyun gave his brother a flat look. “For a Choi, you are rather slow,” he teased. “Don’t you have a piece in the exhibit opening tomorrow?”

The younger man nodded slowly, and then his eyes lit up with understanding. “The opening party! That would be pretty perfect, wouldn’t it?” Seunghyun just raised an eyebrow, causing a sheepish grin to turn Mino’s lips. “Okay, okay. I get it. Thank you, Guru Choi, for your wisdom.” He rolled his eyes playfully before sneaking over to rest his elbows on the counter. Mino could do this; he could ask Taehyun out. He just hoped the saucy brunette was still willing to go out with him!

While Mino spoke to Taehyun, the elder Choi took the chance to look at his phone. He frowned at the sight of a message from Zico. “You should come see me,” the message read. That was how Zico worked: He would inform Seunghyun when he was willing to see him, and he expected the man to materialize as soon as possible. It was rather exhausting, since Zico’s idea of a good time involved dancing, drinking, his rowdy friends, and the occasional mood enhancing drug slipped into a shot. Seunghyun sometimes wondered if the man had ever gotten past the freshman party mentality or if he still believed he was back in those days. He certainly lived like he was still twenty.

“Can’t,” Seunghyun messaged back. “I’m out with my brother.”

Zico’s reply was a pouty selca. Seunghyun frowned at the image; he remembered the last time he had received a message like that. His heart plunged with feelings of guilt as he closed the message from Zico and instead pulled up a thread he had not looked at since April. Tapping on the first image dated April 26^th, he stared at the pout turning those wide, soft lips. Even the way Daesung’s eyebrows were furrowed was gentle – as though everything about the man was incapable of being hard or cruel. Then came the picture of Daesung pretending to be buried under a stack of papers. Seunghyun choked on a laugh. Daesung must have spent at least ten minutes setting that picture up; he knew how clumsy the blond had been. Picking up another chocolate curl, he popped it into his mouth as he read the next message: “I love you too, Seunghyunnie. Always and always and forever. I should be home in an hour.” If only Daesung had come home when he had said he would, he would still be alive, Seunghyun thought. And if he were still alive, everything would be as perfect as it had been before that awful day. Maybe then Seunghyun would deserve the man who had an angelic smile and a deep love of Doraemon. Maybe then he wouldn’t be a complete waste. Unable to help himself, Seunghyun clicked on the last message he had received from the love of his life: “Yeah. Hit a snag. Sorry to be so lame.” What awful last words, Seunghyun thought. An apology for something Daesung would never be. And then he gaze caught on the time stamp. His hand began to shake. 11:53 AM. That was within moments of when Daesung had been hit. The man must have been on his way out the door when Seunghyun’s question had arrived, and Daesung had been struck just after sending his apology. That meant Daesung had never read Seunghyun’s last declaration of love. That meant Daesung might have been able to dodge the car as it had careened towards him, if only he had not been looking down.

It means his death is all your fault, a voice in the back of his mind whispered. If not for you, he would still be here.

Seunghyun left the bakery without another word – not even hearing as Mino called out his name.

The next evening, Ji-Hyo watched the clock as it ticked closer and closer to seven. Mino had arrived a few minutes before with a rather handsome brunette on his arm – a man he had introduced as Taehyun. Junsu was even there, working on setting up the last items needed for the exhibit introduction. Her parents and future-in-laws were happily waiting in the lobby with the other guests, and all of her artists had been accounted for. But Seunghyun was nowhere to be seen.

She had begun to pace, a feeling of deep anxiety settling into her bones, when a sudden figure came through the gallery doors. Seunghyun looked a bit worse for wear – his tie was crooked and his suit pants were slightly wrinkled – but he was at least there. Rushing to his side, Ji-Hyo caught him in a hug. “I’m so glad you could make it!” She smiled up at him. “And just in time, too.”

Seunghyun gave her a wan smile. “A promise is a promise,” he murmured, his voice strangely hoarse.

“Promise me, then, that you’ll go around the gallery with me. I would love to hear what you think of it.” Seunghyun gave a tired nod. “Thank you.” A quick kiss was pressed to his cheek before she moved to stand at the front of the room. “Thank you, everyone, for joining us this evening.” The crowd fell silent and turned towards her. “Tonight marks the opening of our newest exhibit, which I have entitled In Heaven. I hope you all enjoy. After we move to the center of the exhibit, there will be a special performance and refreshments.” She bowed and moved to open the doors. “Welcome.”

Silently, Seunghyun drifted up to her side and offered her his arm. She smiled softly and took it, guiding him into the first portion of the exhibit. Rather than its normal white, the first room was painted black – even dark cloth covering the normally bright pine floors. On the first wall hung a large white canvas that was barren but for bright red splatters across it, which made it seem as though blood had been spilt on the otherwise pure surface. Seunghyun felt his blood begin to run cold. The other images did little to alleviate the feeling of dread building up in his chest: a skeletal statue made of twisted metal; paintings full of shadows and sorrow; even a picture of jars of embalming fluid. As they moved to the next room, Seunghyun relaxed slightly. The black gave way to the familiar white, and the deathly subjects faded. He noticed on one wall hung a bold piece of graffiti art that had the clear mark of Mino’s work in every bold line. His brother was standing in front of it with a broad smile even as Taehyun considered the piece with a thoughtful frown. The large piece of metal was painted to look like stylized gates that were a complex weave of gold and black – Mino’s signature colors. The gates seemed moments from opening, a hint of movement in every curled line of the piece. Walking over to Mino’s side, Seunghyun gave his shoulder a squeeze with his free hand. “It’s beautiful.”

Mino grinned. “Thank you, Seunghyun. I’m –“ he hesitated, “Thank you for coming.” He gave his brother a quick side-hug before stepping back. “You’ll have to tell me what your favorite piece is. When you’ve made it all the way through.”

Seunghyun managed to nod. “We can talk about it after,” he assured his brother. “If Taehyun and I can convince you to leave the refreshments, that is.”

That comment made Taehyun laugh easily. “Oh, I am sure we’ll manage. Mino has a lot of self-control, when he wants to.” The pair shared a look that made Seunghyun laugh. His brother was whipped already, he thought. It was precious.

“Then I will find you as soon as I have a glass of wine. By the way, Taehyun, have you met Ji-Hyo?” He motioned to the woman at his side.

“We met briefly before you came,” Ji-Hyo said easily. “Mino introduced him as his date.” Her dark eyes sparkled with impish humor at the blush that colored Mino’s cheeks.

“Our little Mino-ya is growing up,” Seunghyun sighed. “Whatever will we do with him?”

“Give him a terrible time,” Ji-Hyo said with a grin.

“So how did you two meet,” Taehyun asked Ji-Hyo and Seunghyun, trying to save Mino from their teasing.

The man smiled faintly down at Ji-Hyo. “She’s practically family to me and Mino. But she was the first person to buy one of Mino’s paintings. When he became a regular studio artist here, we met at a dinner party she held in honor of the occasion.”

“Though, I was always surprised we didn’t meet sooner,” Ji-Hyo added. “Considering he was mooning after my brother and all.”

Taehyun’s droopy brows lifted in surprise. “You’re Daesung’s sister?” She nodded with a shy smile. “Mino, you need to bring her past the bakery!” He pinched the man at his side.

“I will,” the brunette promised, laughing. “As soon as I can convince her to. Maybe you should just bake her wedding cake for her. She and Junsu are getting married in March.”

Ji-Hyo’s eyes became wide. “You’re a baker? Wait, are you the baker Daesung and Seunghyun always raved about?” This time, it was Taehyun’s turn to give a shy nod. “Daesung told me I should have you bake my cake almost the moment he knew I was engaged! I will have to stop past soon to taste your food!”

“Come by Monday and I’ll let you do a cake tasting,” Taehyun promised. “Bring Junsu with you. If you like it, I’m sure we can work something out.”

The sound of bright, happy laughter filled the gallery as Ji-Hyo continued to talk to Taehyun about her upcoming nuptials. While she was distracted, Seunghyun continued to wander the gallery. He noticed that the exhibit was slowly spiraling inwards rather than being as open as it normally was. It was strange, but the change of pace was nice. When he turned the very last corner, though, he was struck by the silence. Many of the artists and other patrons had found seats in the chairs set up in front of the featured piece at the heart of the gallery. Off to one side of the behemoth canvas was a piano, a guitar, and two stools. Seunghyun frowned; those were unusual additions to the gallery. And then his gaze came rest on the ten foot by fourteen foot canvas.

His knees felt weak as Seunghyun slowly approached the piece – his eyes trying to take in all of the details at once. Ji-Hyo’s ability to capture lifelike detail was almost unmatched, but this time she had bent her formidable skill into creating a work that was hauntingly ethereal. The background was a warm black – like the perfect summer night – scattered with golden globes of light. It was as though someone had caught the stars and placed them in lanterns strung across the sky. The number of globes increased the closer the eye came to the figure in the center of the painting, almost as though they were creating a golden halo around him. Seunghyun’s gaze trailed up at last to take in the glorious figure at the heart of the canvas. Every detail from the familiar curve of the jaw to the breadth of the nose to the sweep of blond hair across the brow was achingly realistic; Seunghyun wondered if he could reach out and touch the beautiful tan skin only to find it warm with life. The only thing that broke the image of reality were the giant, white wings that stretched from the man’s back – dominating the painting with their powerful beauty. Daesung was an angel.

Tears poured their way down Seunghyun’s cheeks at the sight of his lover in such an achingly perfect state. Of course Daesung would be an angel. He had been nothing but good and kind and forgiving his entire life. It was as though Ji-Hyo had captured perfectly the essence of her brother, even in death. Seunghyun felt a soft hand on his arm, and he glanced down to find Ji-Hyo beside him. “One night,” she murmured, “I was in my office. I felt hopeless – like my heart would never heal. And, suddenly, the room seemed to brighten. I looked up, and I could swear I saw him…looking just like this.” She took her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on it as she fought back her tears. “He asked me to do this exhibit. And as soon as the moment was over, I started on this painting. I couldn’t get the image out of my head - though I added the wings for extra drama.”

Seunghyun in a deep breath. “Do you think…he’s still out there, somewhere?”

She leaned her cheek against Seunghyun’s arm. “I know he is, Seunghyun. Can’t you feel him with us still?”

The brunette hesitated. Could he? He could sometimes feel the warmth of another body next to him and had been dreaming of Daesung. But, did that mean that the man was still with them? Seunghyun wanted to believe, but he just did not know if he could. And even if Daesung were an angel, Seunghyun would never be worthy of being with him again. He was too far gone to be saved, he thought. “The painting is beautiful, Ji-Hyo. It’s perfect.”

Ji-Hyo gave his hand a squeeze. “Why don’t you sit down? I have to go do the introduction.” She pointed to a chair off to the side that had an uninterrupted view of the painting. Seunghyun inclined his head before moving to settle in the indicated seat. He sighed as his gaze continued to rove over the hauntingly beautiful portrait of his dead lover. Daesung had always been too good for him, but this just made the differences between them too painfully clear. He half wondered if Ji-Hyo could do a companion piece with Seunghyun painted as a demon – it’d be both fitting and striking.

“Thank you all for coming this evening,” Ji-Hyo said, her voice breaking through Seunghyun’s thoughts. “I appreciate your help and support tonight, especially since I know you are each busy preparing for Christmas and the other holidays coming up so soon. But this exhibit is a particularly tender one – one that is very close to my heart. Many of you know I lost my baby brother, Daesung, in April. Losing him was like losing a piece of my soul; he and I were practically the same person we were so close.” She hesitated as her gaze caught on her parents. Seunghyun could remember how the Kangs had responded to Daesung coming out to them: His father had declared that his son was dead to him, and his mother had not spoken to him since. It had nearly destroyed Daesung. But, now both of his parents were openly weeping. Seunghyun realized he had not once considered how they must have taken the loss of their only son. Even if they had disowned him, the beautiful blond had still been part of their family. Daesung had even wanted to try reconciling with them – he had told Seunghyun he thought his parents were ready. But now they would never know for certain if peace would have been forged between them. Daesung was gone.

“When I thought of how to best commemorate his life and celebrate his goodness, this exhibit came to mind. It begins at the point of death – a place of darkness and sorrow – before moving to the gates of heaven itself. After that, the viewer is able to experience the joys of heaven and hopefully have their hurts eased, as though given an angelic touch to the heart.” Ji-Hyo took a steadying breath. “To conclude, I have asked my beloved fiancé Junsu to perform a song that shares the same name as the exhibit: In Heaven.”

She bowed and gestured to Junsu, who had taken a seat on one of the stools. Seated beside him, holding the guitar, was Seungyoon – Mino had recommended him when Junsu had asked after guitarists. And at the piano behind them sat one of the musicians Junsu wrote music for, a young man named Minjun. Junsu his bottom lip before nodding for the pair to begin playing. As the man sang about love and loss, Seunghyun felt his heart ache with that familiar longing to be with Daesung. Even if he was not worthy, he thought, he still wanted to see him - even if it was just one last time. His life was incomplete without Daesung; nothing could fill the void in his heart. 

And all he could hear echoing in his ears as he went to bed that night were the repeated lyrics from Junsu's song:

Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay?
Lies, lies, I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me?
Can’t you love me, love me, love me?
Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay?
Lies, lies, I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me?
Please come back

From where he stood beside the younger angel, Jiyong frowned. "Six days. We've only got six days." He ran his spindly fingers through his hair. "How are we going to save him in just six days?"

----

So, I think this chapter was the hardest to write so far. I know so much about how the next chapters play out that this one wrestled with me quite a bit. I hope I did not move too quickly and that it all made sense. (And hopefully it's not too hard to read.) You'll notice that the song in this chapter - JYJ's In Heaven (watch the video, for reals) - was the major inspiration for this fic. Originally I was going to follow the plot of the video more closely, having the dead lover come back and whatnot. But, as I thought about it, I changed my mind. I kept a lot of references to the video, though, like Junsu and Ji-Hyo being together because I love the song and the mv so stinking much. And, really, my muse deserves its tribute.

Now, real talk. The next chapter will be flagged as M because it deals with a lot of trigger warning stuff - like suicide. I figure it is better to flag that chapter than not, just in case. However, because I know some of you can't/don't read things that are flagged M, I will also post a version of the chapter that has the triggers removed (basically it will include little recaps so you get the gist of what was going on in certain scenes). That way you can get the important plot points without having to deal with the triggery stuff as much. So when I post the next chapter, feel free to pick whichever version of the chapter you can best handle. -thumbs up- 

As always, I'd love to hear from you in the comments. What do you think the next chapter is going to bring? Do you think Seunghyun can be saved?