For those who were interested in the playlist I listen to, you can take a gander here. 

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IX. I'M AFRAID I WILL

Seunghyun felt his breath catch as the other man stood up straight – their gazes nearly even. It seemed as though the years had not touched the blond; he looked exactly the same - right down to the cold light in his heartless eyes. A cold sweat broke out across the back of his neck at the smile turning the full lips of the one person he hated almost as much as the man who had killed Daesung. But, oh, if only hate were the sole emotion the blond before him inspired. “Zico.”

That feline smile grew at being recognized. “Seunghyun. Been a long time since I saw you last.” His voice was a low purr that made shudders jangle down Seunghyun’s spine. Pure fear made the bottom of Seunghyun's stomach feel as though it had fallen through the floor and all the way to purgatory.

“I wish it were longer,” he ground out, clenching his teeth as the blond leaned closer.

Zico laughed – the sound peculiarly bright. “I think you’re lying, Seunghyun. Your right eye still twitches.” His hand moved to brace against the bar, trapping the man against the hard wood. “I’m surprised you’re here alone. Handsome thing like you was always so popular in university.”

Rolling his head back, Seunghyun stared up at the distant darkness of the ceiling. He tried to take a steadying breath, but it did him little good. If anything, it brought the cloying sweetness of Zico's cologne deep into his lungs, reminding the brunette of things he had hoped to forget. “I’m not here alone. In fact, I should really get back to them.”

Zico tilted his head, considering him. “Not here alone…but not with a date.” He smirked. “I can fix that, you know.”

“I’m out drinking with friends,” Seunghyun said firmly. “I don’t need a date.” Finally peeling himself off the bar, the brunette pushed past the other man and stalked towards the distant table where his brother sat laughing.

When Seunghyun stormed over, Mino raised an eyebrow at the near murderous expression on his brother’s face. “What’s wrong?” A quick glance assured him that his brother had come back empty handed. Strange, he thought.

“We need to go, Mino,” Seunghyun all but growled. “Right now.”

The chubby-cheeked brunette rose to his feet at once and grabbed his coat. “I guess I’ll catch you guys later,” he said, nodding to Seung-Seung and Taehyun. “Later, Taehyun. It was nice to meet you, Seunghoon. Seungyoon.”

Seunghyun whirled around to leave, only to find Zico standing there with a wide smile still on his lips. The brunette shivered. Mino, noticing his brother’s reaction, grabbed his arm and tugged him past the stranger. Zico silently turned and watched them leave, laughing at the way Seunghyun practically ran out with his tail between his legs. Once they were tucked safely in a taxi, Mino shot his brother a confused look. “Who was that?”

“No one.” Seunghyun gave his head a desperate shake. “No one at all.”

Mino scoffed. “Seunghyun, I’ve never seen you react that way to someone before. Don’t lie to me.”

Seunghyun hesitated before clearing his throat. “Not here. I’ll tell you back at my place.” He his bottom lip. “Can… can you stay over tonight? I shouldn’t be alone.”

Curling his hand in Seunghyun’s clammy grip, Mino nodded and assured him, “Of course. I told you I’d be there anytime you needed me.” It was remarkable how quickly Mino began to feel sober; he had never seen his brother like this – not even when Daesung had died. The fear etched onto his fine features was primal, as though he were a deer caught in the sights of a cougar. The ride in the elevator was painfully silent, and Mino could almost feel Seunghyun trying to crawl out of his skin beside him. Even when Seunghyun tried to unlock his apartment door, his hand shook so much that Mino had to take the key to open it for him. Seunghyun had only had a single glass of wine to drink, so he wasn’t drunk. It had to be that guy from the bar, whoever he was, that had Seunghyun acting like this. But why?

Stumbling around the apartment, Seunghyun seemed to be searching desperately for something in the darkness – almost as if he were an asthmatic looking for his inhaler. Mino flipped on the lights. Seunghyun suddenly pounced on a piece of paper that had been sitting on the coffee table and clung to it like a lifeline. “Seunghyun,” Mino murmured, “what’s going on? Are you alright?”

The man shook his head. “No. I’m not alright. I’m not even close to alright.” He collapsed on the sofa and continued to shake. 

Gingerly, Mino sank down to sit beside his brother. “Would it help you to talk about it?” His hand came to rest lightly on his brother’s knee, just to remind him he was not alone.

Seunghyun took a shuddering breath. “You probably don’t want to know,” he muttered. “You’d never think of me the same way again.”

Mino’s heavy brows knit together as a frown curled his lips. “Seunghyun, nothing could change how I feel about you. You’re my brother.”

“Feeling and thinking are not the same thing,” the brunette pointed out sardonically. But, he heaved a sigh. “If you are certain…”

“Only if it would help me help you. I’m just worried about you,” Mino admitted. “I’ve never seen you like this, and it’s terrifying.”

Seunghyun barked out a laugh – the sound falling strangely into the air between them. There was nothing funny about the situation; it was like trying to laugh at a nightmare come to life. “Zico.” His hand curled into a fist on top of his thigh. “His name is Zico.”

From where he sat watching the brothers, Daesung nearly sank to the floor in shock. He had sensed Seunghyun’s distress and come as quickly as he had been able to; but, he had not been fast enough. The cold prick of fear pierced the angel’s heart as Seunghyun began to unravel the story surrounding the man from the bar. Jiyong frowned at the way his baby angel had begun to tremble.

“Dae and I had been dating – really dating – for a couple of months when I got cold feet. It terrified me to think that I was so crazy about one person that I had started to think in terms of ‘us’ and ‘we’ instead of ‘me’ and ‘him.’” Seunghyun brought the paper in his hand to rest over his heart. “I panicked. So, I started making some choices that I regretted even as I made them.” He pinched his eyes shut. “It was so easy to go out drinking and blame everything on being too drunk to realize what I was doing. But then I met Zico.

“He was like fire and ice – burning and cold, a killer with a kind smile. I was fascinated by him because he was everything that Daesung wasn’t. He was brutal, selfish, and didn't even to pretend to care about me.” He could feel more than hear Mino’s breath catching. “We started screwing like there was no tomorrow. And, in a sick way, I grew to care for him. He became an obsession: I’d be with Daesung, but my mind would be on Zico. It was destroying me – tearing my soul apart – because I knew I loved Dae, even if I wasn’t willing to admit it.”

Mino frowned down at the floor. “If you loved Daesung, why did you keep things up with Zico?” The younger Choi, who was loyal to a fault, was struggling to understand how his brother could do such an awful thing. And to Daesung of all people in the world.

“It was an addiction. I couldn't stop seeing him, no matter how much I wanted to.” Seunghyun rubbed a hand over his face. “When Daesung caught us together, I wanted to die. I’d hurt the most perfect man in the world; I deserved to burn in Hell for what I put him through.”

Jiyong reached over to put a hand on Daesung’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me that had happened?” he murmured.

Daesung was trying to stare a hole into the floor in order to fight back the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. “Because I never thought Zico would come back into our lives,” he admitted breathlessly. “I never would have imagined…” He shook his head.

“Daesung broke up with me on the spot. Third worst day of my life,” Seunghyun sighed. “But it was what it took to get me away from Zico. I became fixated on making things right, even if I was never able to earn Daesung’s love again.”

Mino leaned back into the couch, trying to absorb the revelation and all of its implications. “If I were him, I never would have forgiven you,” he admitted.

Seunghyun gave a broken laugh. “I honestly don’t know why he did. Or why he took me back – that was the even bigger mystery.” His throat became tight with tears as he remembered the expression on Daesung’s face when they had broken up. Everything from the way Daesung’s bottom lip had quivered to the veins popping out along his neck as he forced back the tears that made his dark eyes bright was burned into the folds of his brain. It had been that mental image that had kept Seunghyun from calling Zico when the loneliness threatened to overwhelm him, and it had been that mental image that had given Seunghyun the strength to change. He had never wanted to see an expression like that on Daesung's face ever again. “But he did. When I asked him why he was giving me another chance, he said…he said it was because he loved me.”

As Seunghyun dissolved into tears, Mino pulled him onto his shoulder and held him close. The elder buried his face in the crook of his brother’s neck and sobbed without any semblance of control. Even just seeing Zico had stirred up so many painful memories; it was like reliving the break up in all its terrible agony. And, in a sick way, it felt as though he had lost Daesung all over again.

“After I took him back,” Daesung murmured, “I told him I loved him every day for months. It was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever done, because at first…all I could see was them tangled together. But that did not make my feelings any less true.” He looked up at Jiyong, swallowing back tears as he did so. “It took him six months to say he loved me back. Six months for him to begin to forgive himself and feel safe in our relationship.”

In a rare moment of tenderness, Jiyong took Daesung’s hand between both of his – squeezing it gently. “He still loves you, Daesung. Seeing Zico isn’t going to change that.”

“Isn’t it?” A sudden, unfamiliar voice purred from the doorway. The pair of angels looked up only to be confronted by the sight of Seungri smirking at them. Sauntering into the room, he stopped – posing for their benefit. He thought it was a particularly gracious public service to allow the poor angels to see what a real man looked like; no, a god among men. Yes, that sounded right. “Because, I am pretty sure that poor Seunghyun has a blond-haired kryptonite that is going to make this game so, so easy to win.”

Daesung surged to his feet and was across the room in an instant; Seungri’s shirt was caught firmly in the angel’s fist. Seungri chuckled even as Jiyong became pale. “Taeyang was right, you are a feisty little thing.” He bit his bottom lip and winked teasingly at the angel. Confused, Daesung reeled back. “I got to say, though, that you are even uglier up close. I have no idea how Seunghyun put up with waking up to that face every morning. It would literally make me nauseous having to look at you.”

The angel’s fingers fell from the demon’s shirt; numb. Rising, Jiyong moved to pull Daesung behind him. “Seungri, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, you remember me!” Seungri laughed happily. “I’m flattered, Jiyong. It’s nice to know my handiwork is so unforgettable.”

Jiyong squared his shoulders; Daesung needed him to be strong. “That doesn’t answer my question. Why are you here?”

“Ah, you see, I noticed that Taeyang needed a little bit of help. So I thought I would shake things up a little. Make it more exciting, I guess you could say.” He paused, looking closely at Daesung. “You know, you might be ugly, but I like the hair color. I think it would be way better on me, though.” A flick of his wrist turned his hair a pale, golden blond that was nearly white. “See. Way better on me.”

“Seungri, you keep your nose out of this,” Jiyong hissed. “Your trainee is supposed to be the one doing the soul stealing, not you.”

“Mm, funny thing about rules? We demons are super bad at following them.” Seungi his bottom lip and laughed at the looks on their faces. “If you want any chance of beating me, baby angel, you’re going to need to step up your game. Or, better yet, you could just give up. Be like every other angel Jiyong’s trained and fail miserably. It’s practically tradition now.”

It happened in a flash: One moment Daesung was trembling from a poisonous cocktail of feelings, and then he was suddenly springing into action. His fist connected with the demon’s jaw, sending him flying to the floor – clutching his jaw. “I order you to leave,” Daesung snapped. “Get out before I do worse to you.”

Picking himself up, Seungri carefully dusted off his black pants. He then shot the younger angel a glare that was curled around the sneer on his lips. “I’ll go, but this is only the start,” he spat out. “Just for that, I’m going to tear Seunghyun’s soul apart brick by brick. There won’t be enough of him to mourn when I’m through.” The room darkened – the lights flickering in and out – and the demon was gone.

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I've really embraced just going at my own pace. Hopefully this update was alright. Poor Daesung has just unleashed a nightmare, and Seunghyun is basically facing the worst possible temptation. ...Woo. I feel like such a jerk for what I'm doing to the poor babies. 

Also, the number of blonds in this fic is getting a bit ridiculous. -_-