Junsu and changmin arrived later as they call the police. Ji-Hoon was arrested and taken into custody. As it turns out they have been searching for him regarding other case of abuse from his other partners. Yoochun was not taken in for questioning because Jaejoong explained that he was helping him. After the police left, the apartment is filled with silence. Junsu look at changmin as changmin look back at him wondering if there was something else that took place other then Yoochun beating the living out of JI-hoon. As the group stood near each other, everything was explained to ChoonHee. She found out what happen 10 years ago and how Jaejoong struggled through depression and almost died a few times.

ChoonHee couldn’t take it anymore as she stood up from her chair and walked right to Jaejoong

“I don’t care what kind of live you have lived for 10 years Jaejoong Oppa, it doesn’t change the fact that I still care about you…” She spoke “…why don’t you come back with me? We can get marry and leave the past behind”

Upon the word ‘marry’ the others looked at them in total shock.

“M-marry?!” Junsu shouted in disbelief “wait a minute! Since when did you two get engage?!”

ChoonHee turn to look at Junsu with anger in her eyes before turning back to Jaejoong “let’s get marry and move away from all of this, away from everyone. We can start new, what do you say?”

“Oi! What right do you have telling him you will take him away from us? We haven’t done anything to pisst you off ChoonHee” protest Changmin

“What right do I have?..” She turn to face all of them “WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE SHIFTING THE BLAME TO JAEJOONG?!” her voice ring throughout the air taking everyone by surprise “all of you…all of you were the closest friends to him! And yet…when going gets tough, you put the blame on him!! All of you should be held responsible for how things turn out!! If I knew of this in the past, I would have kicked all of your asses!! Eun chae’s death was an accident; no one and I mean no one should be held responsible! I don’t care if you were kids going through a terrify event, you should have known better then to start pointing fingers!!” she shouted

No one was able to speak a word; they only lower their gaze not wanting to meet her eyes.

“I can’t believe you…” she soften her voice with disappointment “…I use to be jealous of the bond all of you have…from my point of view all of you were perfect together along with my unnie…I see each and every one of you like a bright shining stars. I wanted to one day find my own group of friends who will shine as bright as all of you and yet in the end the bond I thought was rare wasn’t at all…as the old saying goes, a human heart will always change…”

Another silence filled the air; all of them had never felt this horrible about themselves. They knew blaming Jaejoong and abandoning him was their sins but yet to have an outsider point it out to them made them feel like it’s a lot worst then what they thought it would be.

“A person may die but their soul live on in here?” she pointed to her heart “Eun chae is in here, I can already imagine her crying wondering why the people she care so much about will hurt each other so much…I feel bad for her that she will have to feel your hatred and your sins….” ChoonHee begin to cry as she tried her hardest to hold it back “what is even more unbelievable is that you waited this long…10 years to be exact before you even decided it’s time to find Jaejoong to apologize…don’t you think 10 years is already too late! You are lucky he’s even standing here before you!! What would you have done if he died as well? Will you cry for him? Will you smile that he’s gone? Will you be happy knowing that the person who shouldered the blame no longer exists?”

“Enough ChoonHee” Jaejoong finally spoke “it was my choice…it wasn’t their doing…”

“Don’t you dare!!!” she pointed her finger at him “don’t you dear defend them Jaejoong! It was their fault! They shouldn’t have used you as a scapegoat!”

“You are right…” Yunho finally spoke but his voice was different, it sounded like a man who has given up on everything. He stood up and walked over to Jaejoong and to everyone’s surprise Yunho got on his knee.

“I’m sorry…I know that after 10 years my apology wouldn’t mean anything to you but I really am sorry Jaejoong ah…it was my fault…everything was my fault…no one should have taken my sin….I was the one who started the fight…if I haven’t picked on you, Eun chae will never have died…” said Yunho

“yunho…you…remember…?” Jaejoong asked in disbelief

Yunho smiled bitterly “it’s still hard to believe that I will forget such a thing…how could I have forgotten about it…I’m probably the worst human being ever…in fact I might be worst then human…I was scare…I knew it was my fault…I knew I was the one who initiated the fight…I got scare…scare that everyone will look at me with anger and hatred…my fear drove me to blame you and being the leader, everyone else followed…I put you through hell…I abandoned you….and Yoochun was right…I was the cause of our group falling apart…”

“no one is blaming you Yunho…” spoke changmin

“yea…all of us should be held responsible…we were the one who went against jaejoong’s parent. If we have listen and remain at camp, none of this will happen” said Junsu

“no…it’s still my fault…I put everyone through hell…I ruin the bond that we spent years creating…I took away the one person who had kept all of us together as a whole…and I nearly cost us another..” Yunho looked at Jaejoong “I’m sorry Jaejoong…none of it was your fault…I’m the one to blame”

Jaejoong stood there with his eyes widen in shock. The words he longed for has been said with meanings behind them and yet he was not happy. Rather than being overwhelmed with relief and happiness, Jaejoong felt horrible that Yunho had to say those words while stating it was his fault.

Yunho bowed to Jaejoong who felt like his heart has been stepped on. It hurts, seeing Yunho on his knee apologizing, it hurts more than any pains he had endured. He couldn’t explain why this hurts so much, why he is feeling like he had done something horrible toward Yunho.

“get up Yunho…” spoke Junsu “it wasn’t your fault”

He tried to stop Yunho from bowing but Yunho only yanked his arm away from him

“JUST LET ME DO IT!!!” he shouted “if you don’t forgive me, I don’t blame you Jaejoong…I just hope that you will be able to regain the life you lost…the smile everyone loved…”

He bows again and again as it become harder to watch and endure. Jaejoong keep telling himself to stop Yunho to tell him it wasn’t his fault either and yet he was not able to make a sound or move his body. Even Yoochun had started to feel guilty for lashing out at Yunho and being angry with him. It wasn’t his fault alone; all of them caused Jaejoong to become this way. They blamed him and they abandoned him. It was their choice, Yunho didn’t force them to say those words nor did he force them to walk away from Jaejoong. He had only wanted to be near Jaejoong, stand at his side, a place he had desire for so long. He had thought that Yunho was just pretending to forget while the rest of them had to remember that day. But now he felt like Yunho really did forget, not because he wanted to but because something happened to make him forget.

Yoochun also got down on his knee in front of Jaejoong.

“I’m sorry! It wasn’t right of me to blame you Jaejoong nor is it right for me to abandon you…as a friend, I’m ashamed of my action…I hope you will forgive me…” he too bow

Junsu and Changmin also followed as they too got on their knee and apologize. This however wasn’t what Jaejoong wanted. He didn’t want them to lower their heads to him; he didn’t want them to apologize to him. Forgiveness wasn’t something he hopes they will ask for. All he wanted was a few simple words from Yunho.

“I…I…” Jaejoong looked from junsu to changmin to Yoochun and then to Yunho.

Flash back

“From today onward, we will become great friends” a young Yunho shouted as he placed his hand into the middle of their little circle “we will have each other’s back and are loyal to one another”

“We will share everything we have!” a young yoochun smiled happily as he placed his hand on top of Yunho’s hand

“We shall go through everything together as one!” said a young Junsu as he too put his hand in the middle

“We shall never betray one another and respect each other!” said changmin

“we shall hold our head high and never lower our heads to each other because we are equal and the same!” smiled jaejoong as he hand joined the others in the middle

“And we shall love, cherish and treasure one another until the day we are no longer breathing” smiled Eun chae

End…

Tears begin to fall from Jaejoong’s eyes. The one pledge he made that day happened, standing before him are his friends with their head lower to him. It was a rule he came up with and something everyone enforced and yet it was him who broke this rule. The decision he had made, the things he went through cause them to lower their head to him. If he had left the past and made better choices then his friends would not have to shame themselves like this.

Jaejoong took a few steps back before running into his bedroom and slammed the door shut.

“Jaejoong opa!!” ChoonHee call out to him and asked him to open the door but he would not.

Yunho remained on his knee clinching his fist tightly that it draws blood. He recalls everything that had happen so far. Memories of how Jaejoong was when he first saw him again after 10 years. He keep thinking about everything that Jaejoong had went through, all the suffering, all the pain and loneliness. Every decision that leads him to this state was his fault. And yet he even has the nerve to come back to Jaejoong’s life with a smile on his face thinking nothing bad had happen. He could only imagine the kind of feeling and thinking that went through Jaejoong’s head since that day. He then recalls Jaejoong’s tear stain face as he accused him of being cruel. Yunho can’t help but smile bitterly, indeed it was cruel, and it was the cruelest thing anyone could have done to another human being.

Before long everyone left the apartment. Yunho return to his apartment mean while ChoonHee sat in the living room deep in thoughts as the TV continue to be on. Jaejoong remained in his room for the rest of the day refusing to speak, refusing to eat or come out no matter what ChoonHee did or say. Yunho had also gone quiet since he left. There were so much for him to think about after remembering that tragic day.

Yunho’s mother was cleaning up after having dinner when her phone ringed. She stops washing the dishes before wiping her hand and went to answer the phone.

“hello?”

“umma…” came Yunho’s voice

“Yunho? is that you? how have you been? You told me you will keep in contact with me but you have not call in the last couple of days…I was starting to worry about you dear”

“umma…why…why didn’t you tell me the truth?” Yunho asked

His mother wasn’t sure what he is referring to “what truth? What do you mean?”

“You lie to me…you kept me in the dark…why couldn’t you just tell me what really happen?”

His mother was starting to get nervous fearing that her son had recalled that tragic day “Yunho I…”

“you told me that Eun Chae had wonder off and went swimming before drowning…but the truth was that all of us had wondered to the nearby river…me and jaejoong had gotten into a fight and we pushed her into the water…”

His mother begins to panic “Yunho…I…”

“You lied to me...if you had told me the truth, I would have made everything right rather than waiting 10 years…10 years umma? That is too late? I made everyone suffer for 10 years while I lived my life as if nothing had happen. I smile, laugh, play prank and continued living without realizing the scar I had caused on those I treasure most…”

“Yunho…listen to me…I…”

“No…I’m done listening umma….” There was a long silent before Yunho spoke again “I have to go…”

“Wait Yunho! Don’t you dare hung up!”

Yunho ignored her as he hangs up the phone. His mother went into a panic mode as she tried to call him back but he refuse to answer the phone. She couldn’t help but recall that day, the day she thought her heart will stop. She was out in the field with her husband working the farm when they received a call from Yunho’s middle school. According to the teacher Yunho had jumped from the building and is being transported into the emergency room. When they got there the surgery to save him last for so long that she thought they will not be able to save her only child. Luckily Yunho survive but he was in a coma for a week before waking up and doesn’t remember anything. It took almost a year before his memories started coming back however he wasn’t able to remember how Eun chae had died or what happen afterward. Fearing that her son might lose his mind again, she provides him with lies. You can’t blame a mother for wanting to saver her son’s life even if she had to resort to lying.

Yunho sat in the darkness of his living room with the phone in his hand. It continues to ring and the light continues to flash for incoming calls but he ignored it. He turns his gaze to the window as snow begins to fall.

The next day ChoonHee had packed up and gotten ready to catch her train. She knocked on Jaejoong’s bedroom door.

“Jaejoong oppa…I’ll be leaving now…”

She waited for some kind of response but received nothing “I’m…I’m sorry…I created a scene yesterday and made you feel uncomfortable…”

Once again there were no responses

“About my proposal…I…”

Just then the door open as Jaejoong emerges. ChoonHee felt a bit embarrass because of her outburst yesterday that she could barely look at jaejoong as she kept her gaze low.

“I’m not sure when I’ll come back to Seoul…so…for the time being…please be careful….stay away from dangerous people, make sure you eat your meal properly, no more skipping you hear me…go outside and try to do some other stuff rather than be coop up inside…When you sleep, make sure you cover yourself with a blanket, don’t leave your window open…and…”

Jaejoong pulled ChoonHee into a hug “I’m sorry…” he whispered to her

ChoonHee had hoped to leave with a smile on her face but this hug brought out her tears. She begins to sob against his chest because she already knows his answer to her proposal.

“You are a beautiful girl ChoonHee and very kind…You will find someone better who will suit you…” said Jaejoong

ChoonHee wipe her tears as she backed away “yes…but…its because the one fish I desire and dream of having will never swim toward me…”

Jaejoong was going to say something but decided it’s best to keep it at that. He didn’t want to give her any false hope because deep in his heart he no longer has the desire for women.

“Just promise me that you won’t do anything stupid again Jaejoong oppa…I lost Eun chae, I don’t want to lose you too…I don’t think anyone will want to lose you…”

Jaejoong smiled as he placed his hand upon her head before he gently pat it. ChoonHee can’t help but remember the past when Jaejoong use to do this to her whenever she cries wanting to tag along. Even though it breaks her heart that her love will not be returned, she was relief to know that the Jaejoong she knows and love is beginning to return.

“Can I ask you something before I go?” she asked

“what is it?”

She nervously put her two index fingers together “are you and Yunho…an item?”

to be continue.......