I am so sorry

 

____________________________________________________________________

Minseok sat in one of the chairs in the reception desk, right next to Amber. He had rested his feet on the desk but Amber had kicked his legs hard enough for him not to want to try it again. He told her what happened with Jongdae, he had even cried a little bit more causing some of the patients there to stare awkwardly to the place where there was a guy crying his heart out to a very shocked girl, or was it a boy? It was kind of hard to tell.

 

“So now what? You’re just gonna sit here all day crying on my shoulder and hiding from your boyfriend?”

 

“I’m not hiding”

 

“Yes, because that time he came to retrieve a file you just casually had to pee. Yup, not hiding”

 

Minseok knew he was being childish, he didn’t need a sassy Amber to remind him.

 

“It’s just that… I don’t know… It’s scary”

 

“What is there to be scared about? You just need to go to him and demand the truth. Then, like a decent human being, you listen to what he has to say and you make out and make up. That’s it”

 

“Were you even listening what I was saying? Basically, I don’t know him. The only thing I’m sure about is that he is a cardiologist here. Right now he’s not my boyfriend, he’s a colleague. Just that. That itself is scary enough. Then, I have to deal with the truth. What if this is all he’s ever been? A liar. What if he’s married and I’m ‘the other one’? Uh? What am I supposed to do then? Or maybe he’s dying and that was why he wanted to spend more time with his family?... I just… I don’t know okay? I just don’t know anymore. But I do know that it can’t not be the worst, nothing good can come if it has so many lies involved in it.”

 

Amber look at a dejected Minseok with blood-shot eyes. She could really see how hurt he was but she could also tell how much in love Minseok was. “My point here is, whether he lied to you or not, you love him. And even if it breaks your heart you gotta go, look him in the eyes and ask for the truth. Because that’s the only way you are ever gonna move on from this.”

 

Minseok could feel the tears coming to his eyes again. He did love Jongdae. How could he not?

Minseok had nobody in the world but him. He had been kicked out of his parents’ house when he was fifteen, after he came out to them. His mom couldn’t even look at him and his dad had slapped him in the face and claimed that he no longer had a son. He gave him chance to pick a bag with a few things and that was the last time Minseok saw them.

Alone, broke, under aged and with nowhere to go he ended up sleeping on the streets for couple days until he found a homeless shelter. He started working three jobs and when he finally managed he moved out of the shelter and into his own apartment. It had been small and it always smelled kinda funny but it had been better than the shelter. He had done everything to stay in school and get good grades, he had aimed for a scholarship because that was his only way he could ever go into nursing school.

So like that he spent eight years of his life. Just studying and working so he could make it to the next month when the rent was due. In that time, he didn’t have any friends, he didn’t have the time for them. It wasn’t until he started working in Seoul’s National Hospital that he started relaxing. For the first time since he was kicked out of his house he had time for himself. He could now say ‘yes’ when someone invited him to hang out after work. He had friends, he had a hobby. Long gone were those times where he had stayed up late at night crying because everything was too much for a teen who was just learning how to live. And then he met him.

Kim Jongdae. He was presented as the new cardiologist when Minseok had been working in the hospital for a little over a year. They met officially when Minseok was assigned to one of Jongdae’s first patients there. They bumped occasionally in her room, sometimes making small talk with her and each other. He learned that Jongdae had a fun outgoing personality. Since the first moment Jongdae had made Minseok felt comfortable, not like some others doctors who had a superiority complex and refer to him as nothing more than ‘the nurse’. And for some reason Jongdae had taken a like to him too, so the doctor had made sure that they shared at least a “Good morning. How’s your day going?” by passing by the reception every single day, where he knew Minseok spent his time whenever he was free. After that Jongdae asked for Minseok’s assistance in a surgery, which then became two and before he knew it Minseok was already acquainted with almost all of Jondae’s patients and with the doctor himself.

At that same time was when the shameless flirting began. At first it was just Jongdae but Minseok wasn’t dumb and he caught the signs pretty quickly. A wink across the cafeteria, a compliment after small talk, a covered smile while surgeries. All details than even though they were small, they made Minseok blush furiously and smile dumbly through the rest of the day. He remember how Amber had to no end about it. Minseok never had a real relationship before, he had never had the time to focus on someone else, but there was something about Jongdae. Something that made him long for all those things he had been missing out because he was too busy. So when Jongdae finally asked him out on a proper date Minseok couldn’t say no.

Minseok had enjoyed everything. From the dinner, the drinks and the dance they shared afterwards and the kiss in front of his door. From then on, they moved quickly. They had one month into their relationship and moved in together in the fourth month. Yes, they were going fast but everything felt right. Being with Jongdae came naturally to Minseok, even if both of them had difficult schedules. They made it work. They were making themselves happy.

Or so he had thought. Because there he was now. His head on Amber’s shoulder trying to hide the fact that he was going to cry again.

 

“I guess I don’t want to lose him, you know? He’s all I have”

 

“As I said, just listen to him, okay?” Amber moved her chair so she could face Minseok and clean his tears. “Whether you’re his mistress or if he’s dying you deserve to know the truth. You deserve a closure. So if you really break up, then I’ll be here, okay?”

 

Just when Minseok was going to answer two figures stood tall in front of the desk.

 

“Uh, good morning” One of them said with a deep voice.

 

Minseok quickly turn his chair so he could not be seeing crying. Amber turned her chair too so he could do her job properly.

 

“Good morning, what can I help you with?”

 

“We’re looking for Kim Junmyeon. He’s a patient here”

 

Amber quickly typed the name in her computer. “Yes, he was moved to a room yesterday. Number 483. Just take the elevator to the fifth floor and look for the number there”

 

“Thanks” said the one that didn’t have a deep voice.

 

As soon as they left Amber turned her head to Minseok who was still facing the other way.

 

“This Junmyeon… he’s one of your patients, isn’t he?”

 

“Uhm, yes. He’s the one who’s rooming with Yixing”

 

“It says here that he’s going in for a brain surgery… tomorrow?”

 

“Yes, he has a cyst. Why are you asking?”

 

“Nothing special. I’m just making time”

 

“Time for what?”

 

“For doctor Jongdae to get here before you have a chance to run”

 

And just as she said it would happen, Minseok tried to run but she had a strong grip on his uniform so he was just left there struggling. He could have make it if it wasn’t because she had placed her arm around his neck putting him on a choke hold, not tight enough to cut his breathing but tight enough to control him. And that’s how Jongdae found them.

 

“Good morning, Dr. Kim”

 

“Good morning to you too, Amber… What’s going on?”

 

“Oh, this… Nothing serious, we just like to play around sometimes”

 

“Ok…” he said uncertainly “Here are Ahn Hye Jin’s files”

 

“Yeah… sure… just… leave them there and I’ll file them later” she said still struggling with Minseok under her arm.

 

“Amber, stop. I can’t breathe” Although she knew he was lying she still let him go. He couldn’t run away now, not when they were facing each other.

 

“Hey Minseok” Jongdae said nervously. He knew Minseok had been avoiding him. Jongdae didn’t find him in their apartment the night before when he had been looking for him. He knew Minseok didn’t have a family and he didn’t know which of his friends he was close enough with to spend the night, so he just stayed there all night. Awake and with hopes that his other half would return so he could explain himself. But why would he come back? Jongdae knew he was the one that had been wrong, he knew that lying to his boyfriend wasn’t right and yet he did it.

It didn’t mean that he didn’t love the Minseok though. Because oh god he did. He was crazily on love with him.

 

But he was a coward.

 

“Ah… Good morning, Dr. Kim” Minseok didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t think he would face the other that soon. Shouldn’t these things be like in the dramas?

 

“Uhm… Minseok… I was hoping we could talk… I mean… I don’t have anything until afternoon… so… yeah”

 

Minseok had his eyes on Jongdae but he could feel Amber observing them on the sides, and he knew that she was ready to punch him if he didn’t say the right thing.

 

“I’m sorry, but I have to check on a patient and…”

 

“No, you don’t” Amber interrupted him “You did your first round not that long ago so you have a couple hours until the next one”

 

Minseok quickly turn his head to give her a deadly glare.

 

“I was talking about Yixing. He’s getting checked today and he asked me to be there”

 

“Oh… okay… well, maybe… when you get off?”

 

“I… I’m sorry… I got the night shift…”

 

“That’s okay. I’ll make someone to switch with you for tonight” Amber interrupted again.

 

She’s not gonna give up, is she?, Minseok thought. And of course she wasn’t. She was a woman on a mission and she was going to make sure that she fulfilled it. Besides, she was used to the doctor Kim who had always a cat-like smile on his face not the one with eyes that filled with deeper sadness every time Minseok said no.

 

“Oh… okay… I guess that will work”

 

“Okay, so… I’ll see you tonight?... At home?”

 

“Okay”

 

“Okay… uhm… I guess I’ll go… See you, Amber”

 

And while Jongdae walked away exhaling all the air he was holding Minseok let his head fall on the desk. Amber was about to say something but Minseok beat her to it and held a hand in front of her face.

 

“Not now, okay? Now I’m hating on you and cursing all the living things in this world so, not now”

 

Her job was done, so she just shut and stuck to her computer. After all, she had to find someone to switch Minseok’s shift with.

 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

Jongin was a couple seconds away of falling asleep when a punch in his arm knocked him out of his slumber.

 

“We’re here” He heard Chanyeol’s deep voice telling him.

 

He stood up and follow the taller. They were going to the hospital.

 

“Tell me again, why are we ditching school to visit Junmyeon? It’s not like he’s not gonna be there when classes are done” he said while he held the books under his arms a little bight tighter so they wouldn’t fall.

 

“Because we’re really good friends, duh… and I had a physics test today” He said after he felt Jongin staring at him after the first part of his sentence “Come on, man. Don’t look at me like that. We visit Junmyeon, we look like the good friends we are and I have an extra day to study. It’s a win-win situation”

 

“It’s not that, I’m just surprised that you were whiling to skip a day of seeing Baekhyun in shorts just to see Junmyeon. You’re usually not that good of friend”

 

Chanyeol suddenly stopped his walk and stood there with a shocked expression on his face.

 

“Holy , Jongin. Today is Thursday. I totally forgot. We have to go back, if we leave now we might make it to gym class”

 

“Oh, hell no, we won’t. You already dragged me here, now we are gonna see Junmyeon. I’m sure Baekhyun is going to survive a day without you staring at his ”

 

“But Jong…”

 

“Shh. But nothing” Jongin said while he resumed his walking.

 

“You could stop being a creep if you would just talk to him, you know?” Jongin said in the elevator they took after asking the receptionist where Junmyeon’s new room was.

 

“It’s not that easy Jongin. Have you seen him? He’s just so perfect and I’m just… me. I would definitely embarrass myself in front of him if I did”

 

“God, can you stop that? You sound just like Junmyeon when he starts talking about that Chinese guy… You both are hopeless” He said just before standing in front of a white door. The receptionist told them Junmyeon had a roommate so he didn’t want to be rude a barge in. They didn’t hear anything after they knocked so they open the door.

Just to find their friend sleeping while hugging someone else.

 

“Omo, our baby looks so cute when he sleeps” Chanyeol said while he took out his cellphone and snapped a picture of the pair “Who’s the other one, though”

 

“I don’t know. Should we wake them up?”

 

“No, Suho looks cute like this”

 

“Why are you taking pictures of them?”

 

“For future blackmailing, duh”

 

“Stop. If Suho ever finds out he’s going to kick your .”

 

“No, he can’t never stay mad at me he’s… , he’s waking up” Maybe they were being too loud because Suho started moving and opening his eyes, still not letting go of the other.

 

“Chanyeol?... Jongin?... What are you guys doing here?” He said while trying to fix Yixing into a comfortable position without waking him up.

 

“We could ask the same thing. Last time we checked you were here to get a surgery, not a boyfriend”

 

“Shut up, Chanyeol. I’m getting a headache and I’m not in the mood for this” Junmyeon said quietly trying to hide his blush.

 

“Told you, Chan. We shouldn’t have come today. Suho is being a gramps again”

 

“Actually, why are you here? Don’t you have school?”

 

“That’s the exact same thing I told Chanyeol!” Jongin said raising his voice.

 

“Shhhh. Shut up, Jongin. You’re gonna wake him up”

 

As slowly and quietly as he could Junmyeon got off and directed his friends towards his own bed. The three of them sat on it. With Junmyeon on the center and one of his friends on each side.

 

“So, why are you two here on school hours? You know you can visit me after school”

 

Jongin was going to answer but Chanyeol beat him to it. Chanyeol was obviously going to start complaining to Junmyeon and Chanyeol had been loud enough already. “Yeah, we know. But your mom called and said you were having the surgery tomorrow. So we wanted to spend the day with you”

 

“As I said, you could have dropped by later”

 

“Stop worrying about it, Suho. We’re already here and there’s nothing you can do about it” said Jongin with a smirk.

 

“Maybe Suho is right. Why would we be here on school time? If we get going back now we might make it for gym class”

 

“Okay, who are you and what did you do to Chanyeol?” Junmyeon was surprised. Chanyeol never said he was right nor that he wanted to go to school.

 

“It’s just because today it’s Thursday” Jongin explained while rolling his eyes.

 

“Yes, it’s Thursday and Thursdays are sacred. You both know that”

 

“Because on Thursdays you wear pink?” The three teenagers turned their heads to the strange voice that had interrupted their conversation.

 

“Uhm… that’s actually on Wednesdays” Chanyeol responded, kinda annoyed at the fact that people kept interrupting his whining about his failed plans for the day, which were of vital importance no matter what Junmyeon or Jongin had to say about that.

 

“Well, it’s not Wednesday so there should be no problem” the stranger in the white coat said while he walked to Yixing’s bed. “I’m Doctor Wu Yifan, chief of plastic surgery” he added when he noticed the looks he was getting from the three kids in the room “And I’m guessing that at least one of you is a patient here”

 

“That would me, I’m Junmyeon. And these are my friends Chanyeol and Jongin”

 

“Junmyeon, do you know how long has he been sleeping?” Doctor Wu asked pointing at Yixing with one of his hands.

 

It was pretty obvious for Junmyeon that Doctor Wu was actually Yixing’s doctor, Minseok had mentioned that the sleeping one had a consult not long after his own.

 

“Not long. Maybe an hour, I’m not sure since I was sleeping too before these two woke me up”

 

The atmosphere was somehow awkward, Chanyeol and Jongin were just listening on the sides and Junmyeon felt like they were about to be scolded. That doctor looked really scary. But suddenly he laughed.

 

“It’s okay guys. I just got a severe case of resting face, I don’t bite” he said with a smile on his face and the three teens released the air they were holding.

 

“Sorry, but you look scary. I think it’s because of the eyebrows.” Chanyeol said. He immediately liked the guy, they both had a similar kind of humor.

 

“Yeah, I get that a lot. Sometimes it’s hard to get my patients to like me. But anyway, I’m here for a consult but apparently that’s not going to happen any time soon”

 

“Well, Junmyeon is his boyfriend maybe if he kiss him he’ll wake up” Chanyeol teased. Normally he wouldn’t do that but he now had some pictures to use against his dear friend so he went for it.

 

 “Okay?” Doctor Wu gave them a weird look. “I don’t think waking him up it’s a good idea. He usually has trouble sleeping so I’ll just let him rest for now. Whenever he wakes up call a nurse and ask for me, okay?” Wu asked looking directly at Junmyeon. The latter nodded while Doctor Wu walked to the door “Oh, and I don’t know what kind of things are happening between you two but whatever you do just keep your lips away from my patient, Junmyeon”

 

Junmyeon’s face was covered in red when the doctor left, as well as Chanyeol’s arm, right where Junmyeon had just landed a punch.

 

Although Chanyeol had been a , Junmyeon really appreciated his friends. Even though he felt a lot better after talking to Yixing about his fears, he still felt scared and it was a good thing that the two dorks were there to distract him.

 

On the bed Jongin and Chanyeol were playing with some cards that the tallest had brought along, while Junmyeon had left to use the bathroom.

 

“So, do you think something’s going out between Junmyeon and Sleeping Beauty?” Chanyeol asked.

 

“I don’t think so. I mean, last thing I remember Junmyeon still had a crush on that Chinese kid from English class”

 

“Oh, yeah. Yixing. He’s been crazy about him for so long, maybe this is what he needs to finally move on”

 

“I wouldn’t call it crush anymore, it’s been three years of “oh my god, Yixing smiled at me today, he has the most beautiful smile ever” and “he changed his hair again, he looks so cute, he always does”. He’s totally enamored. And I don’t see why are you talking of moving on and , you are pretty much the same… I have 2 pairs. I win.”

 

Junmyeon came back from the bathroom and they kept playing, unaware of the fact that the Sleeping Beauty had woken up minutes earlier.

 

 

 

 

 

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Fun fact: Minseok actually didn't get the scholarship.
But he refused to give up, so he worked as a stripper for a while.
And nobody knows this, not even Jongdae.