Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm still alive and so it's this baby.
Thank you so much who has stick to the story even though I haven't updated this in a while, you are precious.
And thank you to the all the new subscribers that I've been getting lattely who gave me enough courage to go on with this, you are also precious (where did you all come from????).

Without further ado, here is chapter 10. Enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------

“So… how long are you gonna be avoiding your roommate?”

The question caught Yixing off guard. He had thought that using chopsticks while not seeing anything would have been easier but he was proving himself wrong and he had been too focused on trying that he wasn’t paying close attention to what Zitao was telling him.

 “I’m not avoiding him”

“Right, and that’s why you’ve been sitting here in the cafeteria since seven in the morning and not once have thought of going back to your room even if you know very well that Junmyeon is going in for surgery today. Totally not avoiding him” Yixing couldn’t understand how the nurse came to talk so comfortably to him when they had just started talking that same morning. Zitao had found him wondering outside his room trying to look for Minseok only for Yixing to find that his usual nurse was on sick leave again. Tao, as he insisted on being called, had introduced himself as his temporary nurse and offered to take Yixing to the cafeteria to have breakfast and make him company whenever he was not doing his rounds. “I thought you were friends from school or something like that”

“We are. It’s just that…” Yixing was doubting himself. Should he tell Tao about his little crush problem? He wasn’t sure if he could trust Tao fully but the nurse was nice enough and he had proven it by spending all his free time with Yixing, a blind weird-looking patient when he could have been doing something far more interesting. “I don’t want to bother you, I’m sure you have work to do”,

“It’s fine. I don’t have many patients and it’s not like I have any friends here to spend my time with, anyway”

“How come?” Yixing said with a mouth full of rice. He took a couple minutes to achieve that since he couldn’t see and the task was even harder when he had to use chopsticks for it. He was sure that he was leaving most of it scattered all over the table.

“Nosy aren’t you? We’re talking about you here, not me,” Tao said leaning over the table to change the chopsticks in Yixing’s hand for a fork he had brought for that same purpose. He knew Yixing was gonna get frustrated at his unsuccessful attempts at one point.

“Thanks” Yixing said before grabbing his first full bite “I’ll tell you about me if you tell me about you,” he added once he swallowed what was in his mouth.

“Fine” Zitao said sipping on a drink he had brought for himself earlier “I’m gay, so a lot of people here avoid me like I have the plague. Then there’s the fact that I’ve only been here for a couple months, so the few nice people here are nothing but mere acquaintances. Ok. Done. Now you”

“What?” Yixing said with surprise and the fork halfway to his face. “You can’t just say stuff like that and not explain yourself”

“Yes, I can. That’s basically it, and now it’s your turn”

“Ok… I don’t want to hang in my room because I don’t want Junmyeon to see me.  See? I bet now you’re curious and want me to elaborate” he said with a grin on his face.

Tao was just carefully observing Yixing. How could a teenager he just met officially that morning ask him to just open himself like that? He sighed. What was to lose? As soon as Minseok returned he was not gonna be nursing Yixing and he’d be back to having just a couple patients and no friends to talk to.

“You know your doctor, Kris Wu?”

“Obviously. Why?” Yixing asked resuming his eating.

“Well, he’s my boyfriend. We’re both Chinese but we didn’t have the greatest time back in China. We met in the hospital where we were both working, I was fresh out of nursing school and Kris was starting his internship. We tried to be cautious but I confided in my best friend, which I didn’t know had tried to make a move on Kris and was rejected. In an act of jealousy, she went and told some of her friends in the hospital. Sooner than later, everybody in the hospital knew about us. Nobody said anything against us nor they acted on what they thought, but they didn’t have to. Our group of friends was very much reduced and we didn’t get much work because people didn’t want to be treated by –in their words–  a ”

“It wasn’t long when we had to tell our parents, we weren’t going to risk them finding out from someone else. At first, Kris’ parents were a little harder than mine were, but my mom talked to them so at the end they were all really nice and cool about it. They even tried to help us as much as they could but things were still hard for us. We stayed there until Kris finished his internship and got his medical degree, and then we decided that it was best for us if we started anew somewhere else. We picked South Korea because we were both familiar with the language and it wasn’t too far so we could visit our parents frequently.”

“We knew that even if we moved to another country we’d still have some trouble. But it’s not as bad as it was back there. There are still some people who won’t work with us, but at least it’s not everybody”

Yixing stopped eating to listen attentively to what Tao was saying. If he had any doubt about telling the other about his own problems, he didn’t have one now.

“Wow. That’s… I’m sorry about that”

“Nah, it’s okay. You get used to it. And I have Kris, he’s worth it” Tao said with a dreamy look on his face. He blushed when he realized what he must looked like. He was thankful Yixing couldn’t see him like that. “Your turn now. Why you don’t want to see Junmyeon?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to see him, I do. His surgery is today and he must be scared but I just...” he sighed, “I don’t want him to see me.”

“It’s this because of your…” Tao didn’t finish the sentence but he didn’t have to.

“Yes.”

“If he’s you friend I’m sure that he won’t mind what you…”

“It’s not that” Yixing interrupted “He doesn’t know. I never told him why I’m here, and yesterday when Doctor Wu took the bandages off I kicked him out of the room. I haven’t seen him since yesterday”

“Oh.” Tao said, realization downing on him. “And why didn’t you tell him?”

After a couple seconds of hesitation, Yixing started spilling his heart out to Tao. From the incident to his nightmares and Junmyeon’s crush on him. He didn’t even know why, he hadn’t even told Minseok everything. Maybe it was the fact that Tao had been honest with him or that they weren’t going to be seeing each other much after that, or maybe it was just that he wanted to tell someone. He spent all those weeks since the incident dealing with everything by himself that maybe, unconsciously, he just wanted to tell someone and release his own burden.

“Wow” It was Tao’s turn to be surprised “That’s a lot to take in. But we’re just in time” He said picking up the dirty dishes from Yixing’s meal and then he was urging the other to stand up.

“In time for what? Where are you doing?” Tao who was holding him by an arm was dragging Yixing out of the cafeteria.

“I’m sorry if I sort of interrupted your moment there, but I lost track of time and I have work to do.”

“Oh, ok. Uhm… I’m sorry I kept you there with me”

“No, it’s not like that. It’s almost time for Junmyeon’s surgery and I have to move him to a prep room and get everything ready for it. But,” Tao said adding a pause to make himself sound a bit more dramatic “you are going to visit him.”

“What? No. I can’t… After everything I told you want me to go in there?”

“Look, from what I heard you actually care about this guy and I can see how badly you want to be there for him right now. You can talk to him after the surgery if you want. You don’t even have to see him, prep rooms have beds separated by curtains, you can stand behind it”

Yixing didn’t even know what to say. That same morning he was thinking if he could trust Tao and now, that same person was pushing him in the direction he was running away from.

“Come on, Yixing. I talked to him this morning and he wanted to see you, I assure you that. And I know that what you’re feeling it’s totally new for you on top of all the emotional turmoil you must be feeling already with your incident, but you know you want to do it.” Tao added with a little squeeze on Yixing’s arm to comfort him. “I’m not saying you have to tell him everything but just to let him know that you are there for him.”

“Was he nervous?” Yixing asked in an almost whisper “When you visited this morning did he look upset?”

“He said he wasn’t, but he kept moving his hands anxiously. He also couldn’t stop looking at the door, like he was waiting for someone” Tao felt like he was trying to make Yixing feel bad about the whole thing but it was most certainly true. Now that he knew that Junmyeon liked Yixing it all made sense.

“Ok, fine. You win” Yixing sighed.

“Great” Tao motioned Yixing to take a seat in a chair not fair from the prep room. “I’m gonna go get Junmyeon now and start on the pre-op procedure. Once he’s in, he’s going to have a talk with his doctor and the anesthesiologist, after that I’ll sneak you in okay?”

“Okay” Yixing answered, still overwhelmed about everything.

“Just wait here, I’ll be back”

Yixing wished Tao could have stayed with him. His heart was beating too fast and his hands were starting to sweat. He was nervous, but at the same time, he knew he had to do it. He kept reassuring himself that everything was going to be fine and almost an hour passed by when he heard Tao and felt a hand on his forearm.

“Hey, it’s time. Come on”

He couldn’t see where Tao was taking him and that only made him more nervous. Having Tao’s gentle hand guiding him helped to ease it a little. The crossed a door and then everything became almost silence. On his right, he could hear two people talking quietly but he couldn’t hear anything else. The walked to the end of the room, close to the last bed there. Tao moved a chair, placed it right next to bed’s curtain and motioned Yixing to sit there.

“Hey Junmyeon”

“Oh. Hi. Is it time?” Yixing heard Junmyeon’s voice and he hated himself. He shouldn’t have taken so long to talk to him. He knew he was anxious.

“No, not yet. We still have about fifteen minutes. But someone wanted to see you.” Yixing was awfully quiet for Tao’s taste so he had to give them a little push. Well, a little harder than what he was already pushing “It’s Yixing. So… now I’m going to leave you two alone for a while then I’ll come back to take you to theater.”

Yixing heard Tao leave the room and he knew that he should say something, he just didn’t know what.

“Yixing? Are you there?”

“Yeah… It’s me”

“Why are you hiding behind the curtain? Is everything okay?”

“Yes… I’m okay. I just…” Yixing sighed. He was doing that a lot lately. “I’m sorry. Sorry I pushed you out the room yesterday and that I didn’t see you at all today. I know you’re scared”

“It’s okay” Yixing could hear the small smile in his voice “You are here now. Can I… Can I at least hold your hand?”

If Yixing wasn’t feeling like crap already, he was now. What made things even worst was that he still couldn’t find it in himself to face Junmyeon.

His left arm was the one closest to the curtain so he pulled it out from one of the curtain’s end and extended it to Junmyeon. Yixing could not see him but he didn’t have to because before he could process his embarrassment another warm hand was holding his.

“I’m sorry, you can only get to hold my hand like this” Yixing lamented.

“It’s okay. Your hand is more than enough” Yixing could hear the smile on Junmyeon’s voice and he really did believe that the other one was satisfied with just holding one of his hands. Did Junmyeon really like him that much.

“Besides, I’m only wearing the hospital’s robe and Tao already shaved my head. So I’m kinda glad that you don’t have to see how hideous I look right now” They both let out an airy laugh, releasing some of the tension in the air.

“Yixing… I… um… there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I wanted to tell you before the surgery but you kept running away from me”

“I’m sorry about that. I promise not to be such a crappy friend from now on” Junmyeon didn’t answer to that, he just gave a light squeeze Yixing’s hand.

“It’s okay; I’m not worried about the surgery. Not anymore. Doctor Lee came and talk to me about that earlier. She said that if I have something to look up to after the surgery, everything would be better”

“You have something you are looking out for… after the surgery?” Yixing asked, merely to just have something to say. Based on how gently Junmyeon was caressing his hand he had a vague idea were things were going to… or maybe he was just hoping.

“There’s this really cut guy that I want to go out on a date with… but I don’t know how to ask him properly. I have been trying to do it for the last three years bust every single time I try to he just smiles at me and my throat closes up. You see my problem?”

“Ah, I see. It must be tough” Although Yixing was blushing like hell he was still smiling through it all. He was thankful that he now had a curtain in front of him to cover that up.

“It is. He has a very pretty smile. And I’m quite sad that I can’t see it right now but I’m also grateful because I can finally find my voice and ask him out properly” Junmyeon took a deep breath and held Yixing’s hand a little closer to himself.

“I really do like you a lot, Yixing. I’m sorry I couldn’t find my voice until now to say it to you. But I’d be really happy if you would let me take you on a date once we are both out of here”

“That would make me happy too” Yixing answered caressing Junmyeon’s hand back, writing a promise on the other’s palm with his fingertips.

Now they both had something to look up to.

------------------------------------------------------

Fun fact: There's a ninja couple in the story. Did you notice it?
Hint: It's not Taoris.
Hint 2: They are not on this chapter.