*/ so yeah i've decided to add this little part, sulay's story in this unfortunate accident... i kinda think it turned out alot more cheesy than i wanted it and way more than Hunhan part cuz Luhan is the cheesy one so idk but maybe it's just me cuz im not a big fan of cheesiness lol ^^ please comment what do you think! thank you :) /*

(cr. to the owner of the gif)

Yixing slowly floated back to consciousness, and even before opening his eyes he could sense something is wrong. He felt weak and he didn't know why, but every inch of his body ached. He opened his eyes with effort and everything was white in his blurry vision.

He wondered if he is still dreaming, or maybe he is dead and has the honor to end up in heaven.

It's so white… and besides, Joonmyun is here.

Yixing felt his face getting hot from the thought. He is not supposed to think those kinds of things.

"You are awake, thanks god." Joonmyun smiled, and Yixing could see great relief on his face. "Good morning."

"w-what happened?" Yixing tried to sit in his bed.

"No, no, no." Joonmyun put his hands gently on his shoulders and laid Yixing back on the bed. "You need do get a lot of rest." He said hesitantly. He sighed. "There was an accident." 

Oh my god.

He started recalling the events – the concert, driving in the dark to the hotel, him falling asleep beside Luhan…

Panic started swirling in his guts. "Luhan! Is he okay?"

"Yes, he is fine, lying over there." Joonmyun motioned with his chin to Yixing's right. Yixing tried to turn his head, but it was hard and painful. He groaned and gave up trying.

"You are both going to be alright." Joonmyun smiled at him reassuringly.

But the shock and panic refused to fade. How did things turned out so wrong? And the scariest thing about all this was that he was sleeping while it happened. He could have died without even knowing. He could hardly breathe.

"I'm sorry. God – it's just that – "he said with a trembling voice, tears started forming in his eyes and slid down his face. He covered his mouth with the back of his palm. "I must have made you all so worried. And you came all the way to China in the middle of the night… I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey," Joonmyun took his palm between his hands, and when he did it Yixing's heart beat faster. This is so like him, Joonmyun thought, to worry about others first even if he almost died just the day before. This made Joonmyun's heart to ache. "Don't talk nonsense. The most important thing is that you are fine, right? Don't worry about us. This is all behind us now. We are really fine."

Yixing knew he was right. He nodded.

But this didn’t make Yixing feel better. He has just noticed the stings around his wrist. And they were like thick needles piercing him. But even without them he knew the person in front of him was lying. If Joonmyun was quite readable to other people, then for Yixing he was practically transparent. His eyes contained loads of pain and guilt and god knows what else. Joonmyun was not okay at all. Yixing wondered if anybody else had noticed, because the consequences of being a leader and dealing so many things have begun leaving its marks even before, and now this on top of that…

Of course, those words are what a perfect leader would say. And it made Yixing so frustrated and angry. Joonmyun was walking slowly toward the abyss of self-destruction, because he was too damn loyal to his position. Yixing knew he won't forgive himself if he doesn’t stop him before it's too late.

Joonmyun was never selfish. Never.  He has never spoken up, never complained, even in those situations when everybody has the right to crumble. He wanted him to be selfish only once, only this time. And he wanted it to be in front of him.

"Stop it." Yixing said.

"Stop what?" Joonmyun asked flustered.

"Just… all this. Stop pretending, will you? Stop being a leader for once." the way he talked to the older scared him. He was sure the meds were still in his system because if he was clear-minded he probably would have never talked to his hyung like that. He abandoned the manners and just let all the passion and despair accumulated from his feelings in the past year come out and fill the words.

"You are lying. You are far from being okay. I can see it." And feel it. He had to raise a lot of willpower not to rub his stingy wrist.

Joonmyun looked down, avoiding the younger's look. "What do you want me to say?" he answered quietly.

"The truth?" Yixing sat up, ignoring the pain in his back because it doesn't matter now. Not when the man he loves is struggling like this.

"I want you to be honest. I want you say your real thoughts." and they both knew he wasn't talking only about this case. "Say what you really feel, what you really want right now."

Joonmyun sat quiet. When you tell people to speak up, they usually back off even more, it seems. And maybe if it wasn't for that little "please" Yixing mumbled entreatingly, Joonmyun would have still said nothing.

He was still looking down when he started. "There is this someone that - well, we don't see each other often and we are not that close, but I really admire him a lot. He has a big heart and an adorable smile which makes my heart beat a little faster when I see it…" he smiled, still not daring to look up.

"Recently I have found myself looking at his pictures when I feel down and it makes me feel a lot better and I 'm not sure what it means really but I like it a lot. And he is a great dancer and the most hardworking person I have ever met. Like really.  He is also an idiot who thinks about others first, always, even in ridiculous situations." He chuckled.

"And he makes me talk about my true feelings so I tell him that this past day was the hardest day in my life because he almost died and that I blamed myself for being a bad leader and I'm sorry, and even if he doesn’t want to hear that I'm fine I tell him that this is true, now at least. And this is just bad times – sometimes I think that it is too much for me and I think about bad things but I know what was waiting for me when I took the leader position upon myself."

He hesitated and finally looked up at Yixing. There were fresh tears on the letter's pink cheeks but he was looking away.  

"I realize now he gives me strength to keep going." Joonmyun continued with a shy smile. He took his hand caressed the inner palm with his thumb. Every touch sent shivers in Yixing's skin. The finger stopped on a spot on the inner part of the wrist.

"He believes me, does he? He can't feel them right now. The Binding Stings."

Yixing turned his face to him, caught off guard, and then looked down embarrassed. Joonmyun smiled with honesty and sincere. "He is also so beautiful and cute when he is shy that I really want to kiss him right now."

Yixing felt so much but weren't able to say anything. The tears of happiness kept streaming and a sob was threatening to escape his mouth. The Stings around his wrist were really almost gone now and he was glad and so… maybe he is dreaming. "Yeah, you are right." He managed to say. "There are none."

Their lips met, and from the first moment he realized his feelings toward the leader, a long year ago, Yixing has not even once imagined he'll get to feel the other's sweet lips.

He pressed their foreheads together. He was about to say something, but he saw Joonmyun was crying too now. He smiled and wiped them with his thumb. "That was quite something… unexpected but pleasant." He laced their fingers together.

"Promise me something." Yixing then said.

"Hm?"

"Speak up when it hurts. Okay?"

Joonmyun kissed him quickly on the corner of his mouth. "I promise."