"My head is filled with thoughts of you,

Your face, the sound of your laugher.

I'll wait for you, please open your heart
I can't help my heart
You are my everything,

everlasting, my love.

The answer is you, my answer is you, only you
I have shown you my everything

You are my everything, I am sure of that."

- My Answer by Exo. 

When Sehun opens his eyes, the sun is already lights up the hospital corridor. The clock on the opposite wall shows half past 8am. He lifts his head off his knees that were tucked up to his chest, rubbing his sore eyes and looks around.

Jongin and kyungsoo are still asleep, heads leaning on each other, seated uncomfortably on those kind of armchairs you find in hospital halls, couple of meters to his right. Chanyeol and Baekhyun are nowhere to be seen, although they were there a second before he gave in to the fatigue. M members must be somewhere in those rooms.

Sehun looks to his left and Joonmyun is there, sitting by his side and looking at something in his phone, seems spaced out. Sehun sees something heartbreaking on his face; such a deep sadness Sehun have the urge to cry again. The endless anxiety was inscribed in Joonmyun's face, keeping him awake despite of the fatigue. He looks bad.

"Hyung," Sehun says hoarsely.

Joonmyun raises his glance, turns off his phone and puts it in his pocket. "Oh, Sehun. Do you… feel better?" he asks. He knows this is probably the worst question to ask now, no one feels better. But he asks anyways.

Sehun takes a shaky deep breath and says nothing. They both know the answer is no.

"Is it already in the news?" he asks after a couple of seconds.

"I don't know, maybe. I wasn't looking it up anyways. I don't want to know." the older male rubs his face with his hands. He looks to the left and to the right; some Chinese nurses are passing by but no sign from their doctors. No news about the patients apparently, because Sehun is sure Joonmyun would have woken him up. Sehun has slept only for an hour and a half, it turns out, but in surgeons' terms an hour and a half is nothing.

Sehun really doesn't know how their manager did that, but at 5:30am they were already in China.

If you ask him what was happening or what he felt during those hours, he won't be able to answer you. He wasn't quite there. His body was, but his soul wasn't. It was seeking Luhan, begging him to stay alive. He hasn't noticed the way his friends were looking at him with concern and pity that were so clear in their eyes. They all knew it must be the hardest for him.

He felt Jongin's hand on his shoulder, always there watching over him. Jongin felt guilty, Sehun could feel it, for not being in their room the moment it happened.

The only thing he was able to pay attention to was the steady stings he felt in his wrist any other second. Nothing besides that.

He though remembers clearly the moment they entered the hospital. They practically ran into the hallway and found Yifan, Jongdae and Minseok, faces pale and shocked. They were sitting beside room number 323 were Yixing and Luhan were lying at.

Jongdae was trembling strongly, Minseok squeezed his shoulder to try and calm him down. Tao has fainted, they said later, so the doctors put him in the second room from the left, number 326. Yifan couldn't stop messing with his outfit from nervousness; Sehun noticed they were all still wearing their stage outfits. Aside of that, remaining Exo-M members were pretty fine.

Later on everything becomes vague in his memory. Sehun felt horribly dizzy, at this point he was close to fainting himself, but he refused to. He remembers a lot of chaos, or it just felt like it, exchanging stories and details Sehun was not able to absorb. He wasn't trying much, either.

Just let me see Luhan.

The rest of M members were taken to a medical examination one by one. After exchanging stories, the managers insisted Joonmyun will go to get checked too. 

"They are lucky," the doctor said in Korean, with a heavy Chinese accent. "If the car had passed another half a meter, the results could be fatal for your friend Zhang Yixing."   

That's all he could hear before the managers and the doctor went aside to get a full report about Yixing and Luhan, more detailed than should reach the members' ears.  

Sehun felt he is going to burst. He wanted to see Luhan now; to be sure he is okay, because those stupid stings tell him otherwise. Without noticing, he chewed his inner cheek to blood. "Sehun, you are not breathing. Breathe." Jongin says quietly.

But he can't. He just can't. How can he when he is not sure Luhan will be alright, how can any of them freaking breath?

The tears came shortly after, when the shock started to fade gradually. Nobody told him anything. They themselves were on the verge of tears. It is all too much, no one could blame him. Jongin's hand was there again, caressing his back soothingly.

It felt like forever until the managers came back and told them that Yixing and Luhan will probably be fine.

Probably?

Apparently, the other car hit them from the passenger's side, where fortunately, no one was sitting. Yixing was sitting behind the passenger's seat and Luhan behind the driver. The members told them they saw the car rolling over and landing on its top. That's why the doctor said Yixing is lucky.

The manager spelled out about their condition. "It's too soon to tell. They had lost a surprising amount of blood for such an accident. They may also have to undergo surgery, but not something serious. The doctor said they should be fine but… It depends on how strong their bodies are."

That was all.

"God, Yixing…" Chanyeol put his head in his hands worriedly. By the looks of the rest, he was not the only one thinking about Yixing's coagulation disorder.

They will be fine, r-right? They are fighters, they are s-strong. Yeah. But why does he feel like dying himself?

The only thing was left is to wait. He shrank into a ball position in his seat and stared at nothing. No one tried to talk to him and he was glad about it.

Between tears and quite sobs into his knees, at some point he fell asleep.

"Joonmyun  hyung, can I ask you something?"

Joonmyun snapped out of his daydreaming, which looked less miserable than when Sehun woke up. Has it really been less than an hour since?  He felt how he is slowly driven mad from worry and waiting.

"Have you… Have you experienced Binding Stings yet?" Sehun is not looking at his hyung while asking this question, feeling shy, but when he finally does, Joonmyun smiles hesitantly. It's a refreshing view on his face, although it doesn't’ last long.

"Of course. But it was really a long time ago. If I remember correctly it was when I was thirteen? Yeah." he looks a bit nostalgic, and Sehun wonders what the story behind it is. Maybe he'll ask him next time.

Is seems like it's not the answer Sehun hoped to get. Of course he is looking for an advice or some kind of comfort regarding Luhan, Joonmyun thinks. He smiles again. He always feels like smiling when those two are the topic.

"Not anything more recent?" Sehun asks again, "like… don't get me wrong hyung, I'm just – "

"I get it. It's alright." The older says softly. It's his turn to look away, stare at some spot on the floor. He sighs heavily before saying "Love? I didn’t have much time to think about it the last few years." He looks at his wrists, where the Binding Stings are supposed to appear.

"But I don’t know. Maybe I'm just on my way there. At this very moment." The last sentence is said almost in a whisper and his face is unreadable, for the first time in his life. His expressions are always so clear and… this is so strange.

Sehun wonders once again what stands behind those words, when Joonmyun starts suddenly mumbling some nonsense about him being the worst leader ever, and how did I let this happen, and that he is sorry, so, so sorry.

"No! hyung-- god." And although this is a little bit strange, the maknae embraces the leader and the letter does not reject. And for the first time for hours, Joonmyun lets the tears out, all the stress and the concern and despair.

Sehun wants to curse out loud because Joonmyun is so stupid and how exactly is this his fault anyways? But he just pats on his back softly and says "it's not your fault, you couldn't stop it in million years, and you are not superman, hyung." The sight of their leader crumbling in front of him is agonizing, so much that he is about to cry again. He suddenly understands that Joonmyun is maybe a lot more wounded than he looks right now. Those look like the first signs of something deeper, something wrong.  Something that is not from today. Sehun now feels truly concerned about the leader's physical and mental condition.

"They are going to be alright…"   

Sometime after, Sehun sees a young nurse coming by their friends' room. When she goes out of there, without thinking much about it, he calls out to her and asks her how they are doing. "Will we be able to see them soon?" he almost pleads.

He isn't quite focused to realize that the nurses in a Chinese hospital most probably do not speak Korean. She looks at his face that suffer is written all over it, without the ability to understand or say anything. She looks at his fair wrist, and recognizes the bracelet she saw on the patient couple of moments ago. Her gaze softens.

A minute later, the doctor approaches the waiting group. "Fortunately, they went out of danger." He says.

Sighs of relief.

He waits a few moments until the news sink before saying "Their condition is not quite stable yet, sometimes there are… swings. But this is where you come into the picture." Or more precisely - The Binding Stings. He explains how helpful it often is when beloved people are close to the patients and convey good energy to them. "It will help stabilize Zhang Yixing's and Lu Han's vital signs and so much more, they will recover quickly. You all know that, right?" His gaze lingered slightly on Sehun.

In this world, the doctors are slightly more spiritual than expected, because this is the true power of Binding Stings.    

The members were allowed to see them after a warning to be quiet and careful.

The room was quite big, two occupied beds were placed 5 meters away from each other. Everything was sterile-white, no partitions or curtains to separate the space. "their spirits may help each other to gain strength." The doctor told them.

They knew it would be hard to see their friends like this, but it seems they could have never been mentally prepared enough. Mostly Sehun, actually.

It is long after the members decided they better give Yixing some rest without them around and leave Sehun alone with sleeping Luhan (thank you Jongdae). Sehun is sitting by Luhan's Left side of the bed. He haven’t let go of his hand one bit, the one with the Cartier bracelet on it. The tears had not stopped rolling slowly on his cheeks since he entered the room, although he doesn't exactly know why, the doctor said they are going to be just fine, right?

His face… Luhan's beautiful face looks so fragile and is decorated with cuts and scratches, single scars here and there, which were treated by the best plastic surgeons to leave minimum damage. There is a bandage encircles his forehead. There are bruises everywhere on his hands, and Sehun can’t see but there must be more under the covers and the thin hospital blouse.  

The pain in Sehun's heart comes from deep longing. He can’t stand the sight of Luhan's closed eyes, he wants to see the spark he always has in them, and the cute wrinkles always appears around them when he smiles.

"I'm here to make you feel better, but I'm not doing a great job, am I?" Sehun sniffs. "I'm sorry."

There was this one time though, two hours ago or so. Sehun could never expect it to happen. Luhan's blood pressure started dropping sharply to a dangerous level. Loud mechanic Beeps made the gathering members to jump from their seats.

"Come on, Luhan. Please, Fight it. Please." 

Sehun was scared, he was desperate. He took his hand gently with his hands. A nurse rushed in, and they all witnessed it – Luhan's pressure suddenly returned to normal. They all were speechless; they all thought it happens only in fairytales.

~~~

Although Luhan was lying very-very close to him, Sehun felt less stressed than he expected himself to feel. Well, since he has acknowledged his feeling to his best friend, he thought things will become a lot more awkward, but despite the fact Sehun could feel Luhan's body pressed against his, he was actually able to relax and have some rest.

They had half an hour of free time before they had to start preparing for a CF shooting, so they decided to spend this time to get some rest – not surprisingly – together. They did it a lot of times before.

They were lying on Sehun's single-sized bed (because he never minded). Luhan was staring at the ceiling, thinking, and even though Sehun's breaths beside him were calm and steady, Luhan knew he wasn't asleep.

"Sehun-ah,"

"Mm?" Sehun mumbled back.

"You know, my life would have been really boring if I had not met you. I'm really happy we became friends." He smiled to the ceiling.

Three seconds later Luhan was kicked out of the bed escorted by Sehun's whining tone "what the hell, hyung? Why are you always so cheesy?"

Luhan stood up from the floor, putting his hands on his hips in a fake complaining manner, chuckling. "That's right, Sehun. I'm your hyung. And you'd be dead by now for that, if I didn't like you so much."

Sehun pushed him out of bed so he won't see him blushing, but now Sehun just prayed he didn’t look as flushed as he felt inside.

"C'mon let me sleep!" he closed his eyes to avoid facing Luhan on that. He felt the mattress sags under the weight of Luhan climbing back on the bed beside him. After a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence, Sehun finally said "I'm happy too, Luhan. That I had met you. "

~~~

The waiting is unbearably hard. Sehun spends almost all his time there, beside Luhan's bed. He doesn't even feel hunger or thirst as the time passes, if it really passes. Jongin comes in from time to time – (or sometimes it's Joonmyun who comes to check out for progress, sits near Yixing maybe) - brings him food and water and tells him it won't help anyone if he collapses suddenly like that. He eats and drinks, but then sinks again in that horribly gloomy mood, spending time dwelling in the memories he and Luhan had shared together. Sometimes those memories turn into dreams as he falls asleep with his head rests on the edge of the bed.

The same young nurse who told the doctor to let them visit Luhan and Yixing regularly comes to check on them, quietly gives them medicine or whatever and goes out.

The next time Sehun wonders how much time has passed, it's already dark outside again. Is it still the same day or…? He fell asleep several times in this place but never knew for how long. He can't find a clock anywhere and his call phone is not with him.

He likes to put his cheek on the sheets near Luhan's loose hand, his still holding her and Luhan's beautiful fingers with his thumb. "Will you wake up already?" he says. The doctor said he has 80% of coming out of this without any complication.

What about the other 20%...?  His mind only thinks about the worst again. His heart nearly stops every time he thinks that Luhan's body will suddenly betray him or something, bringing tears to his eyes again.

"Will you wake up already so I'll be sure I won't lose you?" he says with a cracking voice.  He takes a breath and continues. "Do you remember that time you promised me we will go diving together? Oh, and what about the Caribbean? You promised that too, you need to keep those. And… there are so many things I have to tell you, hyung, please…"

"Well Sehunnie, I'm listening," he hears suddenly.

Sehun's head shoots up. Luhan voice is husky and he groans once from pain but there's a slight smirk on his lips. His eyes are open and sparkling, and there is so much warmth in them. Sehun suddenly feels hot and cold all at once, so happy he gets dizzy.

"Luhan! Finally…" tears of relief start rolling from his eyes one by one. "I thought - I was afraid that…" Luhan's hand was holding his hand back now, pressing it, and he never missed something more than this gesture.

"I'm sorry it took me so long… I missed you so bad and – and it feels so good to tell you that face to face." Luhan's says in a shaky voice and Sehun heartbeat races when he hears that.

Sehun doesn't want him to cry because he needs more rest, not a rollercoaster of emotions. But he himself feels like this, overwhelmed with feelings that are more than just happiness and longing, and maybe he needs to call the others but –

"No, no. I mean, wait a second." Luhan is not letting go of his hand when Sehun stands up. "I- I need to tell you something, and I hope you'll forgive me on that." Silence.

"Come closer."

And when Sehun leaned forward to hear better what Luhan is going to whisper him, Luhan turns his face with a hand on his cheek and kisses him on the lips. When he responded to his kiss, Luhan thinks Sehun probably forgives him.

"Cheesy as always," Sehun whispers beams when they part, because now he doesn’t care at all.

"I'm happy to see you like it," Luhan grins back at him, still holding his face with his pale hands. Then Sehun leans again to kiss his lover, Luhan thinks - Yeah, defiantly forgives me. 

*/ sorry it took me so long guy >< i'm so busy with studies that's exactly why i wanted it to be a oneshot at first but well... you convinced me and this is the outcome. i really hope you like it. thanks to those who read, subscribe and comment :D and i'm already telling you that there will be a bonus chapter for this one because i just came out with something really nice to add. hope you'll anticipate it :) /*